TITLE: Lysistrategy
AUTHOR: KateKane
FANDOMS: Xena Warrior Princess, Aristophanes' Lysistrata
PAIRING: Xena / Gabrielle (femslash)
RATING: R (there is definitely and sexy undercurrent in this story, but the actual sexual acts are not too explicit).
DISCLAIMER: Any copyright claims to Lysistrata must be history at this point. As for Xena and Gabrielle, I'm making sure they finally get what the series denied them. And yes, that means I have to steal them. Sue me if you must - you'll get no money out of it, but if I were you I'd worry about the Fates biting your butt for trying to deny an OTP!
SPOILERS: The narrative of Lysistrata plus unimportant bits and pieces from the Xena-verse.
SUMMARY: While Xena is away on warrior business, Gabrielle is left behind in Athens. She meets and assists Lysistrata and her friends in trying to stop the Peloponnesian war using sex as their main weapon. When Xena arrives at the scene Gabrielle decides to test the women's strategy on her stubborn warrior princess as well…
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I had a cold recently and snuggled up to my good old Xena DVD collection which brought about inspiration.
I've been posting Rizzoli & Isles stories lately, but really – the leap is not too great. We're talking very close friendship between a dark-haired, tall, badass butch with some painful skeletons in the closet and a petite, light-haired, cheerful and nerdy femme with a strained relationship to her family. Honestly, I'd say Jane and Maura are just another pair of Xena and Gabrielle's reincarnations. So all you Rizzles fans out there: I hope you'll stay on board – just think of this as a Rizzles AU ;)
Oh, and by the way – I was stupid enough to write this in Danish first, then translate it into English, which means the grammar might suffer a bit. Please bear with me or help me improve!
Now, ladies, gentlemen and everyone else on the gender spectrum, please find your seats. Let's dim the light. Let the curtain fall – and the story begin.
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LYSISTRATEGY - a comedy about sex, war, and a rather dense warrior princess
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PROLOGUE
– in which Gabrielle, the blonde bard, arrives in Athens with Sapphic verses at the tip of her tongue
"If you forget me, think of our gifts to Aphrodite…"
It had become a habit for Gabrielle to hum quietly to herself when she travelled by Xena's side, but today she had the dusty country road all to herself and no reason to keep the volume down.
"…braided rosebuds, dill and crocus twined around your young neck …"
She was in an unusually good mood considering the fact that Xena was busy with some warrior princess mission of unknown duration. A mission, which she apparently found the petite bard unfit for. Consequently, Gabrielle had – once again – been left behind.
Xena meant well, but her overprotective behaviour was becoming an increasing pain in the neck for Gabrielle, who was perfectly capable of reading between the lines. What she found there was the fact that Xena still didn't consider Gabrielle and equal.
While she could not compete with the warrior princess' combat skills – no one could – Gabrielle was far from helpless. She had long ago shed the remains of the naïve, rural girl who had initially been at Xena's heels like an eager puppy. She had grown older, wiser and excellent at defending herself as well as others with the wooden staff that doubled as her walking stick. In fact, Gabrielle had managed to save Xena's life a few times. Admittedly, not quite as many times as Xena had saved hers – but in any case; Xena's endless concern for her was misplaced at best, if not downright insulting.
However, on this particular day Gabrielle's spirits were high. You see, while Xena was off on adventures Gabrielle would pass the time in Athens – the most glorious of cities with an abundance of stories just waiting to be discovered and told. Gabrielle had spent a few days behind its massive city walls some years back. Back then she had been trying to enrol at the Academy of Bards, but this time, with no tests at hand, she would be able to explore Athens more thoroughly.
"…myrrh poured on your head and on soft mats girls with all that they most wished for beside them…"
She tapped her walking stick rhythmically against the ground, adding a bit of percussion to her tune. With every step the city gate seemed to increase in size as she approached it. Soon she would disappear into a sea of people, but she was too happy to lower her voice and continued singing at the top of her lungs while closing the distance to the entrance.
"…while no voices chanted choruses without ours, no woodlot bloomed in spring without… song."
The last word of the verse never amounted to more than a dry whisper stuck in Gabrielle's mouth, for in that moment she crossed the threshold to the political and cultural centre of Greece: The sight that greeted her resembled ruins.
END PROLOGUE