The Earth was… confusing. Everything seemed to happen too fast, too disorderedly… too chaotically. And all those humans, with their wants and lusts and feelings… so sure about themselves, about their importance… yet so fragile. So precious.
Castiel enjoyed watching them. It was intriguing, to see them go around, minding their daily business… Never really stopping to think about what an unordinary wonder it was that they existed on this planet, that of all the species God had chosen them, set them apart from rest of them…
He wanted to understand it. It wasn't that Castiel was questioning their Fathers wisdom – no matter what Uriel had once implied – but that he was sure that by watching them he could find out what it was that God had seen in them that was so exquisite that he had ordered His angels to look after them. If he only could see it, wouldn't that mean that he would learn to appreciate them even more because of it?
"Did you come to feed the ducks, too?" someone asked with a kind voice, shaking Castiel out of his ponderings. He raised his head and saw a pleasant-looking man with a blond hair smiling at him. He was sitting on a bench, next to the one that Castiel himself had sat down before he had gotten lost in his thoughts, and was tossing crumbs of bread from a paper bag to the ducks in the pound.
"…Excuse me?" Castiel asked.
The man laughed with what might have been embarrassment. "Oh, forgive me! You just looked so… I mean… You had this lost look upon your face… like you were trying really hard to figure something out." The man smiled little apologetically. "I'm sorry; it wasn't my place to intrude."
"No, it's alright", Castiel assured. "…Why would I feed ducks?"
The blond shrugged. "That's what I do, when I need to think something. It's… relaxing. It helps me to remember what's said in the Bible, about flock of birds and how we should not worry about tomorrow since it's all in God's hands… always."
Castiel nodded. "Yes, it is."
They sat in silence, watching the ducks eating, till the man spoke again. "It's ineffable", he said.
"…? What is?" Castiel asked, abashedly.
"Everything; this world, people… nice cup of tea and a good book… It's all ineffable. And it's something that is worth to be protected." The man stood up and tossed the now empty paper bag in to a trashcan.
Castiel felt even more confused. "Wait… Did you know what I was thinking about?" he asked. "…How? Who are you?"
The man smiled tenderly. "I knew, what you were thinking, because I, too, have had same thoughts before, and that's the answer I came up with. It's not epoch-making or revealing, but it's enough for me. You may find it defective and that may be true; maybe we all have to find our own answers. And what comes to who I am… I… I'm retiree." He smiled wistfully. "I know I may have made mistake by talking to you; there are many upstairs who aren't pleased with me right now."
Castiel frowned. "Are you a fallen?" he asked, starting to feel little suspicious.
The man smiled again, his eyes full of sincerity as he answered, "I've always been true to Him." He turned around and started to walk away. "Feel free to come again as often as you feel; I'll know when you're here."
The man had already vanished from his sight before Castiel realized that he had never really answered his question; and as he tried to find where he had gone, it was like he had just disappeared into thin air.