Part 1 – The Residence of God

Feluric woke, almost unable to feel the sheets through the faint burning sensation that seemed to coat his entire body, yet still exulting in the fact he was in a real bed, or at least cot, with real covers over top.

He had led his parents to the monastery as the sun sank down beyond the horizon, unsure of where he had been going ever since the raiders had dumped them in a pit in the middle of the wasteland without food or clean water. He had, at least, still been in a condition to navigate the other two members of the group, who didn't appear to be conscious, but still walked in whichever direction he happened to point them. Feluric was athletic and strong, probably the only reason his mother and father still kept him around instead of dumping him off on whichever community would take him. He was useful in this sort of situation, although he'd never actually held their lives in his hands before, which was a tempting prospect. At the moment, though, he had no real interest in doing anything other than finding shelter and resting. Occasionally he wished the raiders hadn't been short enough on ammunition to want to avoid wasting it. But Feluric and his parents did eventually come upon the Monastery, and had wandered up to the gate, completely unchallenged. A robed man found them at the gateway, and had ushered them in immediately. After that, Feluric had been led in much the same fashion he had led his parents earlier.

The monastery occupied an enviable political sweet spot. It was a religious community, not small, but not particularly large, either - small enough to be self-sufficient. "Governments" and corporations had been springing up in the area for decades, none of them lasting too long, but each giving the monastery its leeway. The governments controlled the populace by producing clean food and water, medical supplies and personnel, and ensuring safety with numbers. The Monastery, however, was self-sufficient and didn't need clean water or food from outside sources. What's more, it was responsible for something the pseudo-governments couldn't be. Many of the people in the area subscribed to the old, pre-war ways of religious belief, and the Monastery, knowing the old ways, controlled the souls of the people. It gave them guidance during these troubled and difficult times. It could issue a statement declaring the government to be a servant of the Maker, or it could turn the people into an ungovernable mass, and wrest control of the governments own soldiers away from it. Rarely was this necessary or practical, however. It was preferable for the Monastery to give the government blanket sanctuary, and receive protection from raiders and slavers in return. Generally, stability was better.

Feluric, of course, knew nothing of this at the beginning. He had simply happened upon some religious hide-away with his parents, and been lavished with radiation treatment, rest, food, and shelter. It was totally different from the other settlements he'd visited with his parents, the small, terrified communities living at the mercy of raiding bands, or perhaps a group of slavers calling themselves governors.

"This," Feluric thought, "is the strangest place I've ever been." Strong, and able to survive on its own, even to support wastelanders seeking sanctuary, and yet not willing to extort them. Days before, he wouldn't have believed such a place existed.

There was a miniscule sound as someone had placed their hand on the doorknob outside. Feluric quickly closed his eyes and relaxed his breathing. He heard steps and felt someone standing at the bedside.

"Ahhhh!" A quiet scream. Feluric's eyes snapped open. There was a girl standing at the bedside. She giggled.

Feluric emitted what could be interpreted as either a grunt or a growl, closing his eyes again.

The girl apparently took it as a grunt, because she spoke with a trace of the giggle still in her voice. "You don't have to pretend, Feluric. We aren't going to make you start working on your birthday. But, we also can't throw a party for you, so my company will have to do instead." Feluric had never had a birthday party before. He hadn't even realized what day it was. He opened his eyes and looked at the girl again.

"Sounds like a pretty shitty deal to me." He immediately felt a pang of remorse as she frowned at him.

"That's a bad thing to say."

"Sorry." He stared hard at her, as if trying to contradict himself. She looked confused for a moment, then her expression lightened. Feluric almost yelled at her when he saw the corners of her mouth turn up.

"Here," she said quickly, producing a thick book from behind her and holding it out to him, "Happy 17th birthday."

Feluric took it. It was labelled "Bible". It seemed heavy. "Is it valuable?" He asked sceptically.

"It's the only possession you'll ever need." She responded seriously. Feluric opened it to a random page, and was instantaneously bored. Too many words, he thought. He'd learned how to read, but it wasn't always a valuable skill so much as a waste of time in his eyes, and although it had helped him many times, he tolerated it only because it was easy. He didn't have the patience to pursue obscure subjects and thought that those who did must have something wrong with them.

"Well…" He began evenly. "This is better than other birthdays I've had." He was recalling a birthday he'd shared with a minor bout of radiation poisoning.

"I agree!" she responded, suddenly excited. Feluric glared at her. "It's my birthday too," she said, now suddenly shy, "I'm turning 16," now managing a smile.

"Oh." Feluric was surprised and taken aback. He had the ridiculous sensation that the situation was out of his control. Moments later he added, "Happy birthday…"

"Gabriel."

"Happy birthday, Gabriel." He held out 'Bible'. "I got you a book."

Feluric was surprised to learn that Gabriel was the daughter of the Monastery community's leader. Her main duties seemed to be to spread devotion to the old religion among the wastelanders asking for succour. She was even permitted to hand out a few of the precious printed Bibles to particularly difficult subjects that might be worth converting (Feluric felt somewhat cheated upon hearing this). As it turns out, Feluric had achieved a reputation for his tenacity in dragging his parents through the wasteland to the Monastery (the reason for his rather sumptuous lodgings during his recovery), then recovering with record speed. As such, he was immediately assigned to work, and quickly gained a reputation for being one of the strongest, most productive workers, but the only one who stubbornly refused to accept the teachings of the Maker. He was routinely sent to study and discuss the subject with Gabriel. He eventually found that it was easier simply to read the passages she asked him to study rather than argue constantly about it, and gradually, he began to recognize the religion and its morals as the backbone of the strong community, and he gained some respect for it, despite his continued refusal to actually take part in the religion and its beliefs.

Feluric's parents didn't recover fully until six or seven months after his birthday. He had gone to visit them, and found that his father was barely willing to speak to him; they hardly exchanged more than a few sentences for the entire duration of their stay at the Monastery. Feluric tried initiating conversation with him once, and was greeted with a grunt. I paid for your recovery, Feluric thought. That was the end of their interaction. His mother was more polite, but felt just as distant. She was an avid convert to Bible, and rather than treat him as a son, she treated him as a member of the Monastery community. He only visited them three times while they were recovering. He'd already been disowned to the Monastery. He was alright with that – he felt more comfortable here than he ever had wandering from settlement to shit stained settlement, and he was sure they'd accept him as a permanent resident.

"Besides", he thought, "Gabriel is here."

He was at the gates to see his parents off, although they didn't speak. They said their farewells to some other residents of the infirmary instead. Feluric looked out across the wasteland and couldn't believe how distant and removed his old life felt, his old self, even. He was part of a community now. He almost missed the letter Gabriel passed to his mother just before they left. He pondered; maybe he hadn't paid for their entire stay. His mother had asked him to accompany them on their travels to "spread the holy word of the Maker". Feluric wondered if this could mean they were contributing to a vague notion that was forming in his mind, which he could only express as "Monastery power" out in the surrounding Wasteland.

A tiny thud as something collided with his chest. The small gathering had dispersed, and his parents had moved to the east and the south, and were now hidden by a ridge. Feluric reached down to stroke Gabriel's hair, then picked her up and swung her in the air. He felt free. Finally, somewhere he belonged.

"You really stayed!"

"Of course. I promised, remember? Forever"

"I know. I was still worried though – it was silly, Fell, I trust you. Just don't leave me."

Feluric laughed. "I promise, never. I could never love anyone else the way I do you. No matter what, I'll never leave. I don't care if your Maker himself reached down and tried to take you for his own, I could take him out." He laughed again, feeling the truth of his own words. "You bring greenery to the wasteland that is my heart. How's that?"

She avoided the question and poked at him with a finger. "He's your Maker too, you know. Plus that's a little blasphemous."

"Yeah. I know that, I do. It's true, though. Should I have myself committed?"

"No. You don't have to do that."

"I'll do whatever you need me to do, Gabriel."

"You don't have to do anything. I love you."

Feluric stayed silent. He was content with this. Then he remembered, "What was that letter about?"

"Your mother is a good disciple. She's delivering mail to the new governing centre being set up west of here. Daddy is worried about rumours of slavers running around and we could use the extra protection, even though the centre is still small. It's called the Bytown Confederation, I think. We're also hoping they might have information on all the ghouls coming through here recently." She added with a mischievous smile as they began walking, "I'm also not supposed to be telling you any of this. I could get in trouble."

All of this was news to Feluric, including the fact that he was being kept out of Monastery affairs, although he had noticed that the ghoul wing, separate from the general areas of the Monastery, seemed to be overflowing. Feluric didn't really care about ghouls – no different from his attitude regarding other humans, but their rasping voices irritated him, and he was uncomfortable with how much time Gabriel spent in their area. "Why can't we just stop taking them in? The ghouls, I mean."

Gabriel pushed away from him sharply, looking clearly upset, and practically shouted at him, "Those people need us more than…! Than you, Feluric!"

Feluric stood shocked, rooted in place. They'd never really fought, and he'd never seen her this way.

"They need guidance. They need me to help them reach the Maker, because He would still recognize them in their new form, and they could realize a new existence, beyond wandering the wasteland, cast away from human settlements. They need to be reminded that the Maker has not abandoned them, that they are still the people they always were, equivalent to any regular human in the Maker's eyes!"

"Right…"

"And… um…" she began uncertainly.

Feluric was silent, in awe and admiration of her previous conviction, waiting for her to continue.

"Daddy says they should hear the word. I think he said they were a sleeping giant or something..." She trailed off, looking at him, uncertainty clear on her face, her eyes glinting faintly with fear.

Feluric wasn't totally sure what had just happened, but he did his best to soothe her. "Don't worry, I'll come with you next time you go, and we can reach more of them that way. For that matter, if your dad wants them so much, why doesn't he send one of their own to spread the word?"

Gabriel looked at Feluric with such fear contorting her features that he felt a chill and panic began to rise in his own stomach, but before he could react to it, Gabriel clutched at his arm fiercely, burying her face against him and clinging with all her might. "Don't leave me Fell. Promise"

"I promise." He put his arms around her. He wasn't sure of what, but he was a little afraid.

In the ensuing months she had him make one more promise, after a day in the ghoul wing, as they sat together in the empty pews of the chapter room. She asked him to promise that he would never stop helping the wastelanders who came to the Monastery in search of sanctuary.

"They have no way to defend themselves from the world out there. They can't fight back against the slavers or the raiders; they have no one to help them but us."

He swore to protect and help them.

Feluric did his best to reassure Gabriel, but over time, she became more and more distraught. One evening she came to him, crying, mumbling something about her hair. Feluric hadn't been able to see evidence of anything, and told her it didn't matter - hair grew back, and he'd always love her anyway.

Feluric worked hard in service to the Monastery over the years, and discovered that he did, in fact, have a long way to go as far as becoming more than an initiate to the community was concerned. The persons of authority he often worked under respected and valued him, but many others were intimidated and unsure of him, thrown off by his sometimes abrasive attitude and while he did at least begin to attend religious gatherings, he could not convey true "faith". He was, in turn, frustrated when dealing with these people, and that made him yet more short-tempered and unwilling to part with less "monastic" methods of thought. Regardless, his responsibility grew, and he was asked to go on a multiple-day journey to pick up a large donation of medical supplies, the only kind of supplies Monastery often had trouble with. He had traveled in the area with his parents, before he came to the Monastery, and so was well suited for the task. He was also, unofficially, being sent to check in on the donor, in case their loyalty to the holy word might be fading. Times had become more uncertain, with inconsistency coming from the Confederation, an increasing slaver presence, and general instability in the area. Gabriel didn't want him to go, their birthdays were coming up; she was turning 18 and insisted very anxiously that he be there. Feluric assured her that he'd simply make the journey in record time, and be back before the big day. She still didn't want him to go. But beyond that, Feluric was dying to see the state of the world outside the Monastery again, as well as to observe and fully understand the Monastery's presence out in the Wasteland.

He got back just after noon, on the day of his birthday. He went immediately to the Pial residential area of the Monastery, where Gabriel and her family slept. Gabriel would have been granted her own room – a rare commodity - on the morning of her birthday. Feluric rushed there, hoping she was around, wanting to let her know right away that he was back.

He knocked on the door and called to her. He heard someone moving inside and the door opened a crack. He waited a few moments and then pushed it open, pondering his next move as he saw the room in darkness. It was difficult to make anything out.

"Gabriel?" He called, stepping inside the room.

"F-Feluric..." rasped a voice from behind the open door. Feluric glanced over, trying to see around the door. Suddenly arms with melted skin, attached to a body with nose-less face lunged out at him, connecting with his chest. Feluric swore and shoved the figure down and away from him, backing out of the room again.

There was a ghoul on its hands and knees in the light spilling from the doorway, wavering slightly. Feluric thought it was a female. He had trouble telling the men and women apart, sometimes.

"Shit," he said, shaking off his surprise. "Sorry," he offered in an un-apologetic tone. He noticed she was shaking a little, and making sounds he associated vaguely with crying. He supposed it was different without a nose.

The ghoul shifted and sat on the ground, still making noises and not looking up. Feluric decided he should probably help her up and go find out where Gabriel's new room really was as soon as he could. The moment he took a step towards the ghoul, her head snapped up so quickly he stopped and stood still again right away. She must have been watching my feet, he thought. She stared at him, her milky, filmed eyes focused directly on his face, her melted features unreadable to Feluric. No tears. Ghouls must not have tears, he thought. For that matter, why would a ghoul be in the Pial area? He belatedly realized she was wearing one of Gabriel's dresses.

"Gabriel," he ventured, his voice hesitant and somewhat faint. He swallowed.

"You said forever..." she rasped softly, looking down again.

Feluric stood silently, staring at her, trying to associate the ghoul in front of him with the girl he had said goodbye to just a few days before. The closest he could come was the dress, and her general body size.

Ghoul-Gabriel stood up. "I understand," she said gently, backing away and laying her hand on the edge of the door. Feluric started, and began to will his feet forward, but then the door was closed softly in his face.

"Gabriel..." he said again, quietly. Nothing happened. He wasn't sure if she could hear him. He decided he had to go deliver his report – the others would have finished unloading the supplies long since, but he had to deliver the status report in person. Maybe it wasn't actually her, he thought as he returned down the hallway.

The next day, Feluric was working from the moment he woke to the moment he collapsed into bed. Not an unusual day. He figured Gabriel would come and find him as soon as she. He woke in the morning and immediately headed to work again. He'd be done early in the afternoon, he knew, unless he was assigned some new responsibility, which was not rare. He grinned ferociously when he considered how much progress he had made moving up.

Feluric was done by noon, and headed to the cafetorum to finally eat a full meal. Joshua, Gabriel's brother, saw him and took him by the arm, pulling him out nourishment's way. Feluric shook him off near the exit.

"You should come to Gabriel's room." Joshua told him. Feluric said nothing.

Feluric stood near the body the mothers had taken down and laid on the floor for rites of final passage. He looked up at the metal wire strung from the ceiling in a noose, the only Maker-sanctioned method of suicide. He quickly looked back down again.

"Hey princess..." he mumbled under his breath.

Joshua gave him an odd look. Apparently he'd been close enough to hear.

Wow, Feluric thought, still looking down at her. Did I ever fuck it up this time.

Joshua moved to speak with one of the mothers, and Feluric went and sat against one of the walls, thinking. What must it have been like for her? For me, it was... well... But for her, it could only have been worse. And after the greeting I gave her... it couldn't possibly have been more difficult for her. I hadn't even considered her... self-centred. Selfish. Weak. Weakness was the best way to describe it, he thought. He hadn't even kept his promise, the one he'd been so eager to make. This happened because he wasn't strong enough in his convictions. Strength would have prevented this.

Feluric sat up straight and grunted. Joshua eyed him guardedly from across the room, then walked over, offering his hand to help him up. "Sorry," he said, "No note. Shall we go fetch some lunch?"

Feluric tugged on the little man's hand and nearly sent him sprawling. He always did that to Joshua, who was five years his senior, but very slight in comparison. Feluric gestured towards a chair, "She liked to hide stuff in the metal folds under the seat of that chair."

Joshua went over, feeling underneath the seat. He touched something, glancing in surprise and with a hint of suspicion over at Feluric. He pulled out a note and began to read:

"Father, Joshua, I'm sorry. F-"He stopped abruptly. "Sorry," He said, looking at Feluric. "It's... ah, somewhat personal. Family matter, I'm afraid I can't really disclose it without our father's permission."

Feluric figured he was being protected from his own name showing up in the note and suffering blame for it. He'd always thought Joshua was soft. "A confirmation of guilt?" He asked.

Joshua's response was to gawk at Feluric, terror sweeping over his features. He stiffened up and began to tremble. Feluric stood up and rubbed his forehead wearily. He suddenly felt far too tired for this.

"Look, it's – I'm fine. Just give me all the information next time." He walked out of the room as relief, confusion, and fear washed over Joshua's face, clearly fixing his features. Feluric wasn't watching, though.

Joshua sat down across from Feluric in the cafetorum a few hours later.

"Your report from a few days back..."

"Nothing. Everything is exactly the same as it was the last time I was there. The donor is still loyal. No signs of slavers anywhere, either. Other than the usual ones. The rumours are probably blown up."

"Correct. However, my father was – is convinced they weren't. He is concerned that we should take more precautions; indeed, he believes we need to prepare."

Feluric was silent.

"The moment he heard about Gabriel, he rushed out of bed to go and see her. Unfortunately, he didn't make it halfway before he collapsed and we brought him back to bed. He's in worse condition than ever, now. Andy tells me the sickness has gotten worse."

Feluric was silent.

"He's raving now. As a result, I have... some power."

"Great."

"The survivalists are forming up, now that the purists have been thrown into disarray. They seem to want to make a move, since their ghoul affairs have been set back."

Feluric glanced up at Joshua, who was gazing at him with a serious look on his face. This was an odd subject. The survivalists were a faction of the Monastery residents who prioritized survival of the community above all else, while the purists insisted on upholding the old ways of Bible before anything. Feluric didn't understand it, or why Joshua was bringing it up, and didn't care enough to bother thinking about it. He hesitated, though.

"Are you planning on no longer taking in the Wastelanders that come to the gates for help?"

"No. Absolutely not."

"Good."

Things happened quickly over the next few weeks. Feluric's circle of influence and friends shrunk daily. Had it been Gabriel all this time? He wondered. He was no longer sure what had happened or what Gabriel had been up to, or what his part in it all had been. He resolved simply to remember his remaining oath. He owed her that much. Joshua met him at least once a week, with the latest news. Feluric wasn't altogether sure why. He thought perhaps he had replaced Gabriel as a confidante for Joshua. But why Feluric, of all people, especially since a large portion of the time, Joshua seemed almost scared of him.

"Well I'm afraid I don't really have any other options." Joshua retorted. "All we have to do is give them one of the patients or visitors as a slave, in order to avoid direct confrontation. By the time they come back for more, the Confederation should be on its feet and capable of protecting us. I'm not entirely sure they even know the slavers are here yet."

"Fuck the Confederation! It knows exactly what's going on! There's no way it could miss a huge group of slavers going around farming settlements all over the place! They probably pointed the slavers in this direction just to avoid having to deal with them right away! Who knows, maybe they even cut a deal! Shit, even if they DID come to our rescue next time, it'd be too late. Who'll trust in a Maker who can't even protect his own Monastery? We'll lose influence. You have to remove the Confederation's blessing, force them to come and help you with the slavers when you tell the bastards NO, you can't have any of ours. You can't just give them someone!" Feluric was outraged. Joshua had proven ineffectual and indecisive as a Monastery leader, and as long as his father was sick, but not dead, there was no replacing him. Not that Feluric could have gone about that anyway, but these days he saw Joshua as nothing more than a quivering mass of Weakness, totally unable to protect or command even those directly under his influence.

Joshua just sighed, "I don't think I can risk that, Feluric." Feluric shoved him out of his chair, onto the ground. Joshua caught his breath and began to get back up. Feluric knocked him down again. Joshua edged away, turning his face away from Feluric, and tried to manoeuvre himself back onto his feet. Feluric pushed him back down again.

"Argh! No! Push back when you're pushed!" Feluric stood glowering down at Joshua, who had now apparently resigned himself to sitting on the floor. "You're supposed to lead these people."

"Feluric, about your Purists, and, I mean, I should think, what Gabriel... when she..." Joshua seemed to be trying to orient himself for a brand new tactic of his - appeasement. Feluric almost laughed.

"My purists? You've gotta be kidding me. And Gabriel was called up by your wonderful Maker, apparently." He decided to offer his hand as an invitation to get up. This was getting ridiculous.

Joshua stared up at him, his face dawning with incomprehension, then realization, and finally setting with a small, incredulous smile as a nervous laugh escaped his lips and he took Feluric's hand.

"It's late," he said. "I think I may have managed to come up with at least one solution tonight. It is time you got to sleep."

Feluric nodded, although he'd already presented the only real solution, and headed out the doorway. "And don't you call a gathering!" He called over his shoulder.

Feluric paced through the empty halls of the Monastery. He had neglected to join the gathering called that morning after the advance group of slavers had arrived, too disgusted with the proceedings to attend. The halls had been quiet. He'd expected to hear echoes of outrage and fear from the gathered crowd in the chapter room. Now he simply wondered what Joshua could be telling them. Maybe he should have gone.

"Feluric," called a voice from behind him. He turned. It was one of Joshua's associates. An advisor or something, Feluric thought.

"Follow me, please." The man disappeared around the nearest corner. Feluric followed, deep in thought.

He rounded the corner after he man. Two other men stepped out from either side of the corridor and each put a shackle on his wrist, connected by a heavy chain to the other. "Shit," Feluric thought. For some reason, images of Gabriel's face danced in front of his eyes – the day they met, later, her eyes closed and lips slightly parted in sleep.

Once he'd been escorted outside and brought to the slavers, one of them, his rifle carelessly strapped to his back, laughed loudly and jeered at him, "Hey! Where's that girl? I liked her!"

Feluric stared at the slaver and realized, as his vision began to dim and a black tunnel formed around the man and blocked out everything else, that he was one of the wastelander "visitors" Gabriel had dealt with about a month ago. The slavers must have realized he was about to lunge, but weren't quick enough to stop him.

They pulled him off the slaver too strongly. The chain of his manacles was wrapped around the slaver's head at just the right angle. The man's neck twisted, making an audible crack as they heaved Feluric off, and began beating him. Feluric noticed the slaver leader had un-holstered his rifle, but he wasn't pointing it at Feluric. The leader swung his rifle about and shot at someone in the direction of the Monastery, but Feluric couldn't see.

"One for one!" the leader yelled, with an odd accent, then strolled over to where Feluric was now on the ground, receiving kicks. "And if you ever try to escape, everyone here is dead." Feluric could see the dead man's twisted and empty head staring at a point just to his left. The leader glanced over at the corpse.

"Well, he'll be a good one for the See'um, at least, eh?"