Summary:
Lily Evans has just regained consciousness after being tortured to within an inch of her life. She chooses to give up the painful memories of her parents death and her own torture, not wanting to live a life that revolves around hate and revenge. Meanwhile, a mysterious group are targeting Voldemort's supporters and killing them off one by one - a group that have taken a very strong interest in Lily's case. As those responsible for the crimes committed against Lily begin to die mysteriously, Lily finds herself unwittingly tangled in a web of lies, mystery and murder.
The majority of the story takes place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, following Lily Evans and her peers through their seventh year.
This is an AU, multi-chapter FanFiction.
Pairings:
Lily Evans and James Potter (main pairing focus)
Possibly more as the story develops.
Story rating: M (violence, language and mild sexual references)
Chapter rating: T (reference to torture and murder - but no description in this chapter)
Disclaimer: All characters, settings and the general fantasy world belong to JK Rowling. I claim no ownership or profits whatsoever. The only purpose of this story is for my own enjoyment, and hopefully the enjoyment of those who visit this site.
P.S. I hope you enjoy it. I'm a little unsure to be honest so I'll take it off if people don't like it.
Lily Evans was not supposed to wake up. The healers had deemed her a lost cause the moment her lifeless body had hit the hospital bed. If the healers had their way, they would have sent her straight to the morgue to save time. Luckily for Lily, hospital procedure got in their way.
At St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, it is required that all unconscious patients receive a minimum of two weeks medical care. It used to be four weeks before the war came along and placed a tremendous amount of pressure on hospital resources.
Time was running out fast for Lily Evans. For thirteen days she had not shown even an inkling of recovery. Her wounds had been healed, her bruises removed, but her soul remained in pieces.
Most of the time, spells only manage to penetrate the outer shell of a person - this can be easily remedied with a few quick spells or a potion of some sort. When the body cannot contain anymore damage however, the spells break through to the very core of a person. If this should happen, the person in question is as good as dead.
When the healers had first seen the x-ray images of Lily's soul, they had been horrified by the sheer extent of the damage. They knew that this girl must have gone through a monumentous amount of pain to obtain such an injury.
To look at her, tucked into pristinely white covers with a peaceful expression gracing her delicate face, one could never have guessed the nightmare she had been through. Nobody would have ever suspected that beneath the layer of smooth skin, she had been shattered into a million pieces over and over again - they were lucky that they didn't have to know.
A healer bustled through the door and cast charms at the several oil lamps floating around the edges of the room. Dim light filled the modest space, casting the bare furniture in it's soft, amber glow. Everything in this room complemented the patient perfectly - desolate and lifeless.
The healer walked towards a spindly cabinet which was positioned at the side of the hospital bed, she fumbled in the large pocket at the front of her apron and took out a rusted key. She gently pushed it into the keyhole of one of the cabinet drawers, and wriggled it around for a few moments. When a sharp click echoed around the room, she pulled open the wooden drawer and took out several pieces of parchment.
Running a hand through her prematurely grey-streaked hair, she sighed as she scanned the patient information.
"Right," she muttered to herself, "let's see how you're getting along today."
She put the parchment down on top of the cabinet and retrieved her wand from the pocket of her apron.
"Erandio Episte," she said softly as a wisp of pale blue smoke emitted from the end of her wand. The smoke glided towards Lily and spread so that it hovered over every inch of her body. Lily's skin began to glow as the smoke steadily seeped through to her insides.
After about five minutes, the smoke reemerged a murky red colour, and travelled towards the parchment that the nurse had previously been reading. The nurse watched gloomily as the red smoke was absorbed by the parchment. After all of the smoke had been absorbed, writing appeared on the parchment and the nurse bent down to peruse the new information.
She frowned down at the words and rubbed a hand wearily over her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she looked down at the young girl lying motionless and felt her throat constrict with sadness.
"You just don't want to wake up, do you sweetheart?" she whispered, reaching out to squeeze one bloodless hand. "Such a shame."
The healer coughed lightly in an attempt to rid herself of the lump in her throat, and abruptly turned her back on Lily Evans. She scolded herself for allowing emotions to take hold of her and firmly pushed them aside. The hospital was overflowing with death at the moment, and she knew that the only way to stop herself from going mad would be to remain detached. She swiped at her watering eyes impatiently before briskly exiting the room.
Just as the door clicked shut, a pair of startlingly emerald orbs pierced the room.
Lily Evans swallowed a large gulp of air desperately, as though she had been submerged under water for a long time. Her upper body shot up instantly and her eyes flitted anxiously around the room.
Lily could feel her brain pulsing painfully from the overload of senses. Images sliced through her head, trying to recall the memories from just before she lost consciousness. Her mind was attempting to make sense of an overwhelming amount of things all at once, and she instinctively knew that she would go into shock if she didn't get it under control.
Having always been a natural at self-preservation, she immediately squeezed her eyes shut and with all the energy she could muster, she picked out the single most important thought that was running through her chaotic mind. Lily let this thought take over, screaming it until all the others backed off and locked themselves away.
Where am I? she thought, repeating the question over and over again.
Her heart beat and breathing immediately began to steady now that she had regained control of her own senses. She opened her eyes slowly and carefully surveyed the room, still clinging onto that one question until it was resolved.
It did not take her long to figure it out. The answer lay right beside her on top of a cabinet by her bed. She picked up the parchment and her eyes were instantly drawn to the top where it read: St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries - Medical Progress Report.
Her eyes trailed down a little further and she quickly determined that she was a patient, and had been for nearly two weeks.
Lily's petite, freckled nose scrunched in confusion at this information.
Two weeks? she thought incredulously. Why can't I remember any of it? What happened?
As these questions swept through her, she felt the locked doors in her mind tremble violently. Emotions of sadness and anger were infiltrating her body, but she refused to allow herself to remember why she was experiencing these emotions. She knew she was not ready yet, and she had a strong suspicion that she would never be ready.
First things first, Lily thought, I need to know what's wrong with me.
With that, she looked back down at the medical report and tried to determine the seriousness of her condition. The page, however, was filled with lots of complicated symbols and medical terms that she didn't understand, and she quickly concluded that her best bet was to speak to one of the healers.
She looked around the room for any clues on how she could get the medical staffs attention. Before she had the chance to find the call button however, the door to the little hospital room was opened and two people walked in.
"There has been no change, Albus. I'm afraid we'll have to free this room tomorrow," said the healer who had checked up on Lily earlier.
"I understand. It is such a shame when one so young -," Albus cut off abruptly, staring at Lily Evans in shock.
The healer, who was still looking at Albus, turned to see what had caused him to freeze mid-sentence. When she saw the red haired girl sitting up in bed and looking quite healthy, she screamed in fright and backed away as though she had seen an inferi.
"I - I - impossible!" she finished with a squeak, looking as though she might faint.
"I'm sorry. I don't really know whats going on," Lily said sheepishly to the two adults who were staring at her dumbfounded.
Albus Dumbledore, Lily's head teacher, was the first to recover. He turned to the petrified healer and beamed brightly.
"Well, Diane, I think we have just witnessed our first miracle," he said jovially. "I've always wanted to see one. Haven't you?"
Diane didn't reply, in fact, it is unlikely that she had even heard what the eccentric wizard had said.
Noticing the healer's fragile state, Albus gently steered her towards the door, "Go take a moment to recover yourself."
The healer left in a daze, her eyes wide and muttering to herself frantically. Albus smiled with amusement as he watched the woman totter off in a zig-zag down the hospital corridor. As soon as she was out of sight, he turned his pale grey eyes towards Lily.
"Well, Miss Evans, I knew you were talented but this is a whole new level," chuckled Albus Dumbledore. "Alas, if I were to expect this from anyone, it would be you."
Lily smiled at the professor, despite not really understanding what he was talking about.
"Professor," she began hesitantly, "Am I - am I okay?"
The older man's chuckles died instantly and his eyes hardened. He looked at the young girl seriously for a few moments, his jaw tensing with uncertainty.
"Do you feel okay?" he asked.
"I feel fine," she replied slowly, "I'm not in pain or anything - but I get the impression that it was serious."
Albus nodded gravely, "It certainly seemed so. You have always had a knack for getting out of tricky situations however."
"I'm just worried that - whatever was wrong with me - do you think it will come back?" she asked, avoiding her professor's gaze and looking down at her hands.
"I am almost certain that it won't. The healers will obviously want to do some tests, but I tend to have a sense for these things."
"A sense for what things?" questioned Lily curiously.
"You have learnt about auras in your Divination classes I suppose?"
Lily nodded in assent, wondering what all of this could possibly have to do with auras.
"I have a gift for being able to feel them - and they give out a lot of information about a person. For instance, the nature of someones health. I do not sense any ill health from your aura anymore. Although, of course, this is a very imprecise branch of magic and we should wait and see what your test results come up with."
"Do you know why it just," Lily paused, searching for the right word. "Disappeared?"
Albus Dumbledore was quiet for a few moments before replying, "I have my suspicions."
Lily leaned forward slightly in anticipation, "What are they?"
"Fate, Miss Evans. We all have our roles to play and magic always finds a way to make sure we play them."
Lily sat in silence as she processed this. As much as she found the concept of destiny and fate interesting, she had always chalked it up to romantic nonsense that only had a place in philosophical debates. She was surprised that Professor Dumbledore, who had always seemed to express a distaste for all things Divination, would come up with such a whimsical explanation.
Oh well, she thought, the reason doesn't really matter.
"Miss Evans?" Professor Dumbledore interrupted her musings, "I'm sorry to ask - but do you remember what happened?"
"I think I do," she replied. "I'm just - I've kind of shut it away for now."
Albus looked at her appraisingly, "I see. I think that is a smart move. For now at least."
Lily offered the professor a small smile before looking back down at her hands. She looked at her nails which had still managed to retain some of the blue nail polish after everything that happened in the past few weeks. A memory of Lily and her mother sitting on the sofa painting their nails together and having a glass of wine flashed through her mind. She felt a sudden nagging at her brain at the thought of her mother.
"Where are my parents?" she asked suddenly. "And Petunia?"
Albus Dumbledore hesitated nervously "Petunia is living with her fiance. Your parents - I'm so sorry, Lily - but they -"
Lily felt as though a dam had broken free inside of her. Hot tears invaded her eyes, blearing the room and her professor. She remembered.
"No," she gasped, clutching at her heart. Memories seared through her brain at lightning speed.
Flashes of light everywhere
Blood-curdling screams
Laughter
Emotionless, cold laughter
"MAKE IT STOP!" she screamed at the startled professor.
"Lily - deep breaths," he began but the raging girl cut him off.
"Please," she begged desperately, "I don't want to know how - I don't want to know how it happened."
She tried desperately to push back the memories but her resolve had been weakened by the revelation of her parents death.
"Please," she sobbed, her shoulders sagging from the effort.
Albus Dumbledore watched Lily as she sobbed hysterically, her whole body shaking with profound and unspeakable grief. He wanted to help her, to remove at least some of the pain, but he was unsure as to whether he had the right to do so. Lily was only his student after all, and the ethics of performing the task she was asking of him was extremely questionable.
Alas, the realisation that Lily Evans was now alone in the world was enough to convince the professor that it was the right thing to do.
"Are you sure?" asked Dumbledore sadly.
"Yes," she whimpered. "Hurry."
Albus took his wand out of the sleeve of his cloak and slowly raised it until the point grazed her wild, coppery hair.
"I am going to leave behind the facts" he said in barely more than a whisper, "the fact that your parents were killed by death eaters and that you were tortured -"
"No!" pleaded the young girl shakily. "Take it all. I don't want any of it!"
"I will, however -" continued the professor as though Lily had not interrupted him, "take away the details."
Dumbledore's wand emitted a green light as he murmured the words: "Obliviate."
The light snaked its way into her ear and disappeared. When it reemerged, silvery strands were entwining themselves around the green light. Dumbledore produced a small vial from one of the many pockets of his cloaks, and held it out so that the green and silver strands could enter it. He quickly pushed a stopper on the top to ensure that the memory remained inside.
"Here," he said, holding the vial out to Lily. "This is yours for when you need it."
Lily kept her arms firmly by her sides, and regarded the vial with disgust. She no longer remembered precisely why she hated the contents of the vial, but the feelings it had brought still burned within her.
"I will never want them," she growled lowly.
When Lily continued to refuse the memory, Albus carefully put the vial into one of his pockets.
"I will keep it safe for you," he said before getting up to leave.
Just as he was closing the door behind him, he looked back at the girl who was staring blankly into space.
"Miss Evans," he called to get her attention.
She jumped a little at the sound of her name and turned towards the headmaster, her eyes straining from the tears that were being held back.
"I am deeply sorry for everything. You will always have someone to talk to at Hogwarts."
With that, he closed the door gently and left Lily Evans to grieve the death of her parents in peace.