I don't own Harry Potter (this includes books, movie, etc.)

So for the record this is a humor based story and meant to poke fun at everything. It's not going to make much sense but that the point. I usual write funny stories so I want to try one for Harry Potter. It many takes place in Harry's shop and I got the idea from watching WAY too many web cartoons. Anyway enjoy and giggle too!

This story does NOT follow the original story of Harry Potter; it's simply a parody of fun!

P.S.- There is no Boy-Who-lived thing going on, the world is at peace.

Also any characters mentioned in this fan fic isn't mine!

Enjoy

Harry gave a long sigh as he got up at seven am as usual to get ready to open his store for the day. He had a potions and oddities shop called the Emporium of Magic. It was a popular place for students and wizards to come and find rare products that few or no stores would have. He also installed a small bar which sold special drinks and food, like an old fashioned soda fountain.

He owned the place with his grandfather, who he called Pop, and usually ran the store full time during the summer and after school during the year. He loved the shop and his usual customers. Life had been pretty good so far, Hogwarts was a great school, and he only started it a year ago and was making friends quickly.

It was a quiet opening of the shop with his grandfather making sure all the products were properly dusted and ready for the customers.

At ten, they had a rush of their usually early-bird customers. Then from twelve to two they had a few customers but not a lot, it was a weekday in July so most people were at the beach.

Suddenly a strange man in dark robes walked into the shop. He looked like a ghost almost with his stark-white skin but what really made Harry uneasy was the fact that he didn't have a nose.

Was this guy an accident victim or something?

"May I help you sir?"

The man looked at him with his blood red eyes, "Yessssssss…I am in need of a locket that it's created with strong protection spells on it. So it would be indestructible."

"Hmm…let me check in the back for a minute, I think we have a box full of lockets, let's see what we can find for you."

After a few minutes, Harry came back in with a small box of assorted lockets. "We got this in its just yesterday. It's the strongest one we have but…it does have one weakness."

"That would be?"

"Oh a sword or something like that."

"….alright I take it, besides who would figure that out anyway."

"Alright that will be…3 gallons."

"3 GALLONS!"

"Yes this is a rare piece and very strong, it's not a toy you get from a fast food joint."

"BUT I AM THE DARK LORD."

"And I'm the lord of my foot, now either pay or get out."

Suddenly a man were intimidating metal armor walked in, "HOW DARE YOU CALL YUR SELF THE DARK LORD! I AM SAURON OF THE ONE RING!"

Then a man wearing black clothing and a black helmet came into the room, "NO I AM THE DARK LORD. I'm DARK VADER!

Harry simply sat on his small stool behind the counter and waited.

The three lords continued to argue until one said, "Look we are all dark lords ok. Why not we go talk and calm down at the deli down the street, they have roast beef on rye."

"Oh I love cured meats! Let's go" said Dark Vader.

"Oh sir, do you still want your locket" said Harry.

"Oh sure here you go" he paid Harry and left the store with the other two.

"What a weird bunch."

Suddenly a group of men ran past the store, "THEY TAKEN THE HOBBITS TO ISENGUARD!"

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