Authors Notes: Hello, and welcome to my first story in... a long time, actually. I took a long ass time off, and I figured after honing my skills (Not really) I would come back, as a (Worse) better writer! Pretty much every story I've actually tried to write got abandoned or ended up not being interesting to me anymore, so I always ended up not updating them, which probably pissed people off. So I'm gonna try and not do that with this one, m'kay? Enjoy. I hope.

A Method To Madness

A Boy And His Alligator Man

A tall man stood in a kitchen, occupied by another person, a boy in his late teens. The man wore a string mask with an alligator on it, and the boy wore dog tags and glasses. The man stood in the middle of the room, while the boy rummaged through the cabinets and drawers.

"What, you just gonna stand there all day with your stupid mask on, Jerry?" the boy asked, glancing at the masked man quickly, but then continuing his search. "Cause to me, it seems like it."

The man shrugged, and began searching as well, but at a much slower pace. "Well, we've got all day to search the place, Adam, so what's the difference?" he pulled a can out of one of the drawers, and placed it on the counter. "Besides, I thought you liked alligators."

The boy raised an eyebrow. "My name is James, not Adam. And you had the mask on before I even met you, you freak."

The man laughed. "That's funny, Adam."

Shaking his head in concern and confusion, the boy ignored his comment and continued searching, but came up with nothing. "Damn, this sucks."

Jerry shrugged, "Hey, at least we got this canned cat food I found!" he picked up the can, tossing it from hand to hand. "I can juggle!"

Ignoring him completely, he walked to the living room and sat down on the couch, stretching and then laying down. "I think I'm gonna take a nap, Jerry."

"Ooh! A nap." Jerry said, walking into the room and laying down on the couch with him. "This is nice. Can I stay?"

A horrified expression came over James' face as he shoved Jerry off the couch and sat up. "Hell no, you freak!"

"Eh? Sorry." Shrugging, Jerry walked towards the stairs dividing the kitchen and living room. "I think I'm gonna go upstairs and check it, 'kay?"

"Sure, just leave me alone." shaking his head, James laid back down. "That freak acts more like a teen than I do, what the hell?"

Slowly opening his eyes, James found his face was covered by something. Startled, he fell off the couch and tore it off his face, only to realize it was just the mask Jerry wore. "Goddammit Jerry! Why did you put this thing on my face?!"

Standing up and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he saw two new people and a smiling, unmasked Jerry. "Hey, what the hell's your friends problem? Interrupted our card game."

Jaw dropping, James dropped the mask. "Jerry, who are these people?!"

"Oh, these guys? They came to scavenge this place too, but when they heard us come in, they hid in the attic. I found 'em and their friendly." Smiling, he turned back to his two new friends. "The guy with the doctors suit is Lukas. Apparently, he's a pharmacologist or whatever the heck it is. This guy I'm playing cards with is Aleks. He's Russian!"

"...Psychologist, Jerry." Lukas corrected.

"Hey, you might wanna check Jerry out." James quipped. "He's kinda messed up up there."

Lukas shrugged. "I think after 3 years of this anyone would be, myself included."

"Yeah, yeah, we get it, we get it." Aleks said, his voice almost monotonic. "Your a psychologist, you know everything. Blah blah blah..."

"You take every single chance you have to insult me, don't you?"

"Probably. I've done it so much I've forgot."

"Okay, I got this, I got this..." Jerry said. "Do you have a 10!?"

"You asked me that the last time, Jerry." Aleks said.

"So no?"

"Just get a new card already. This is getting boring."

"Darn." Grabbing a new card, he smiled. "Yes! I can get rid of the 10 with this new 10!"

"...Yay."

"This is fan-fucking-tastic." James said. "No, really, two new people? That we can't feed? Because I know Jerry will force me to let you both stay. Do you have any food at least?"

"No." Aleks said. "Alright, fuck this shit, I'm done with this game. We need to get to business." putting his cards on the table, he stood. "I've got a group a while away from here. Now, I need to know. Do you want to come with us?"

Jerry smiled. "Yes! Yes! I vote yesyesyesyesyesyesyes YES!"

"Jesus, okay." Aleks said. "How about you, kid?"

James stared at Jerry. "Do I have to spend time with him?"

Aleks shrugged. "You could probably avoid him, but it wouldn't be easy. This place is big but not that big."

James groaned. "Alright, alright. My chances are better in a group anyways."

Lukas clapped his hands together, a smiling coming over his face. "Alright, then! Let's gather our things and head out!"

After and hour, they approached a building. But instead of going directly inside, they led them to the side where Aleks moved some bushes, revealing a hatch.

"It's a motherfucking hatch."

"Are you secretly mole people?!"

"Yeah, Jerry, they're fucking mole people."

"Cooool."

Clearing his throat to gain their attention, Lukas put on a small smile. "Erm, we actually aren't mole people-"

"Awww!"

"-but we do live in this bunker here outside this building, if that's any consolation. There's also electricity inside of it, due to a generator powering it."

"Woah, you're saying you have power? Like, actual freakin' power?" James asked, smiling. "Alright, I can work with this."

Aleks shrugged. "Meh, it goes out a lot. Luckily the whole bunker is sound proof though, so as long as we hide the hatch, we're safe to scream and yell. The bunker also has food in it and a rain water filter already attached. You can find that on top this building."

"...Do you have hot water?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Showers?"

"Yeah."

A tear rolled down James' face. "Thank God."

Lukas smiled, and pulled the hatch open, leading to a staircase. "Me and Aleks will go first, to warn the other two of you both, so they don't freak out. Just wait here."

Jerry smiled, and right before the hatch shut, said, "'Kay!"

James shifted from foot to foot uneasily. "Jerry, what if these guys are going to rob us? Or shoot us? They could just be trying to trick us, you know. It sounds way too good to be true."

"Oh, come on, Adam, stop it. It's alright." Jerry shook his head. "You used to be so trusting. What happened?"

James blinked. "Jerry, we've known each other for a fucking week, you call me Adam instead of my actual name, and you wear that weird mask and insist I like it when I think it's stupid. What the hell?"

Jerry stared blankly ahead, his smile never faltering for a second. He laughed. "Your funny, Adam."

"...Yeah." He uneasily glanced at Jerry before seeing the hatch open again. "Hey, what took you so long? Those things could have snuck up on us and ate us alive, you know."

"Yeeeeeah." The monotonic voice made him realize it was Aleks. "Just get in already, okay?"

Rolling his eyes, he stepped down into the hatch, Jerry lagging behind slightly. They walked down, and through a hallway with a door at the end.

"Welcome to the bunker, folks, hope you enjoy. I guess." Aleks pushed the door open, revealing a large room with doors on almost all the walls, a pool table, a table with chairs, and a small kitchen. "This is your home now. Isn't it great?"

"Woaaaah." Jerry stared in awe at the large room. "This is so coooool. Your sure you aren't mole people?"

"Uh, well, yes." Aleks said. "If we were mole people we would have made our own damn bunker."

"Good point."

James walked towards the center, a smirk on his face. "I guess I can hide from Jerry, heh."

"Dude, there's a guy with an alligator mask." A man with a bandanna covering his face said. "And what about the teen? How many teens are even alive?"

The other one, a man with a hoodie covering his face in darkness, shrugged. "Hey, at least they don't seem dangerous, man."

"Good point, Johnny-boy." He smirked under the bandanna. "Maybe that alligator guy and I will be friends. He seems just as crazy as me."

Johnny patted his friend on the back. "Go ahead, my friend. Go."

Running towards Jerry, he smiled. "Hey! Alligator mask!"

Jerry turned towards him, and looked around, before jabbing a thumb to his chest and mouthing 'Me?'.

"Yeah, you!"

"Oh. Hello!"

Aleks face palmed. "Jake, I told you not to get overly excited."

Jake smirked. "Whaaaat? I'm just talking to the newbies!"

"In an overly excited way, dumbass."

"Such insult. Much sadness. Wow."

Letting out a frustrated groan, Aleks walked away. "Yeah, yeah, Doge. Just try not to get overly happy around someone with the same mindset as you."

"You want to say my mindset is stupid but don't want to offend the new guy, don't you?" Jake smirked. "Because if I know you at all, that's 100% true."

"No, I'm not saying it because you already know it." A middle finger pointed towards Jake, and Aleks was off. "Fuck you."

"I like him." Jerry said.

James glanced over at the man in the hoodie. "Your lookin' preeetty suspicious, not showing your face and all."

He shrugged. "I could say the same about your friend over there with the mask."

James narrowed his eyes. "That idiot is not my friend. And if he tells you my name is Adam, ignore him. My names James. For some reason he calls me Adam."

Johnny nodded. "He should see the Doc. Helped me plenty." He looked off to the side, revealing a small part of his face. There were scars. He turned back. "But it doesn't matter. It's his choice."

And with that, the hooded man walked off, into one of the many rooms. "...What the hells that s'posed to mean?"

"Adam!"

"Goddammit, it's James! James, Jerry! James!" He turned, only to be faced with the bandanna wearing man. "Wait, what?"

"Your name is James? He said it was-"

"Of course he did..." Letting out a sigh, he explained. "Basically, he's crazy. You may even want to kick him out just to avoid the insanity."

"Dude, no way." Jake smirked. "He's awesome. Anyways, Lukas told me to show you to your room while he showed Jerry to his."

"Oh, nice." James stretched, yawning. "I need to take a nap anyways. My last one must not have been nearly long enough."

Laughing, Jake nodded. "Alright, then. Follow me, little dude."

Rolling his eyes, he followed the man to a door. He opened it, and walked in. "And here we are. Not nearly as big as the room out there, but still nice, I'd say."

James looked around. A bed, a drawer, and a mirror in the corner, with a single light hanging from the ceiling with a switch by the door. "It's not half bad, for what I usually get."

Jake nodded. "Yeah. I remember living out in the forest with ole Johnny-boy. It went… Rather poorly, I'd say, but hey. We're alive! And we have better beds than a bunch of leaves with a log pillow now!"

James nodded. "I went camping once. We couldn't even fix the tent before night fell, and it rained. I had to sleep inside a log just to stay dry."

"That must have sucked." Jake smirked. "Makes for a good story though. Well, I'm gonna leave you now, little one."

"The 'Little' comments are starting to piss me off."

"Good." and with that, the man left.

Rolling his eyes, he locked the door, and took his glasses off, followed by his shoes and socks. He climbed into the bed. "Not too soft, not too hard. It's average."

Laying down, he grabbed one of the dog tags. "Qiyt, James Mark." He grabbed the other one. "Qiyt, Emily Judith."

He closed his eyes.

"I miss you, Em."

He drifted into sleep.