A/N: Hello! This is a sequel to my other story 'Spiral', as many asked for an epilogue. I really recommend you read that first (if you haven't already). You can try to read this without the previous but you might be a bit lost in the beginning.
They say that right before death, as your body spirals out of control and your mind shuts down, you see your life flash before your eyes. You see the good, the bad, the painful, and the joyous. So, when Regina began hiding a notebook in her locked desk drawer and lying to Emma about it, the blonde was certain that something occurred to the brunette when she had been unconscious in the loft, near death. Emma assumed it was a diary where Regina would jot down her feelings, as the older woman denied the free sessions that Archie offered.
It was peculiar, and saddening, that Regina seemed happier when she was afflicted with the broken heart than when she was cured by Henry and Emma's kiss of True Love. After she woke, completely healthy and cured, Regina retreated emotionally. To those without close knowledge of the brunette, she seemed fine. She was repentant, softer, kinder, and an all around better human being but the sadness swirling in her eyes scared Emma because she worried that the depression would take over once more.
With that worry gnawing at her heart, Emma grabbed a pin from Regina's dresser while the brunette was out food shopping and picked the lock on the drawer where the notebook was kept. She expertly turned the tumblers and the drawer flew out to reveal the dreaded small, blue notebook that Regina was constantly scribbling in. She felt a bit guilty for the invasion of privacy but Emma considered it a necessary evil. She was losing her girlfriend and Henry was losing his mother to depression again and they just wanted to help her so Emma peeled back the cover. Her eyes widened as she took in the title page.
"Bucket list…" Emma whispered, the pieces of the puzzle finally making sense to her. Regina was writing a bucket list because she felt unfulfilled. The blonde furrowed her brows as she read some of the list.
"Number 1: Take Emma out on a proper date," The blonde smiled as her eyes continued scanning, "Number 12: Ride Kingda Ka. Number 15: Ride a horse again."
The blonde became so engrossed that she missed the click of the front door and the tapping of heels against the hardwood. She certainly didn't miss Regina's screech, "Emma! That's my notebook!"
The woman was caught red-handed and she should feel frightened because, well, Regina was still a powerful sorceress that could turn her into a fly before whacking her with an electrical swatter but the blonde was just so relieved that the notebook wasn't filled with angry or depressed passages.
"Babe, why didn't you tell me you that this was a bucket list?" Emma placed her palm over the small list, grinning like a fool because this was something she could work with.
"Because it's childish!" Regina crossed the room and ripped the book from her hand before pressing the hardcover against her chest protectively. Emma felt her heart pinch.
"It's not childish. This," Emma pointed at the item, "is something we could actually do, Gina! We can drink Slushie's and buy a Beagle. This is cool and I want to do it with you, especially number eight. Be intimate with Emma huh?"
Regina smiled tightly, almost angry that Emma always knew exactly what to say, "Emma, we have jobs and our sons has school."
"Henry finishes next week and I can hire a deputy so that my parents can come to Six Flags with us—"
"Like hell your parents are coming…" Regina grumbled, which made Emma chuckle and shake her head tauntingly.
"Ah, ah, ah! Number nine says 'Go to Six Flags with entire family (yes, even the Charming's)'. Those are your words, Gina." The brunette groaned dramatically as Emma leaned in, making comical faces.
"It was a moment of insanity." Regina pouted, trying to distract the blonde but it was to no avail. Emma grinned as she extended her hand, silently asking for the notebook back. Regina paused for a moment but relented when Emma let out a dramatic, childish moan of displeasure.
"Let's see, what you have here? Uh, number 18: learn to ride a bike? Regina…" Emma looked over at the brunette incredulously, "You don't know how to ride a bike?"
"Well, they didn't exist in the Enchanted Forest and I learn to drive when I got to Storybrooke," Regina plucked at Emma's sleeve, "I also never taught Henry so he doesn't know how to either."
"Regina!" Emma laughed, slamming the book shut before placing it back into its drawer, "Anyway, I'm serious. Let's do it, all of it."
"Really?" The brunette stared at her hands as they pulled on a loose piece of string on the blonde's shirt before her eyes flitted up to gaze into Emma's.
"Of course! It sounds like so much fun and Henry will love it," Emma paused, taking in Regina's bright smile, one she had missed since they fixed her, "I do have a question though. What… made you write this? And why did you try to hide it?"
Regina's smile diminished slightly, her fingers stilling on Emma's arm in order to squeeze, "When… I was dying, I was thinking about my life and the things I had done and I realized that my life has… well, sucked."
Emma smiled sadly, "Yeah, babe, I know."
"And when I got my second chance at life because of love, I promised that I would do the things I always wanted to do so I wrote it down in this journal. I was going to tell you because I was genuinely interested in completing it, as it's not too extensive, but I would panic every time you asked about it. I suppose I was worried that you would think it was idiotic or laugh or… I don't know. I became so defense about this and I felt alone in my head and I pushed you and Henry away, at least emotionally. I just… I am idiotic because here you are, loving me and wanting to help and I pushed you away—"
"Hey, don't do that," Emma immediately caressed Regina's arm, wanting to stunt the self-deprecating train of thought, "You went through something so shitty, Gina, and I'm so proud of you because you didn't push us out completely. We were just worried about you and your health, you know? But this we can deal with, this is awesome. Plus, Henry and my parents will be all in, for sure."
"I suppose, in a convoluted way, I should thank you for being so nosy." Emma chuckled as she wrapped her arms around Regina and pulled her close, nuzzling her nose into the brunette locks she loved so much. She sighed with relief. A bucket list was good. It would help Regina feel more comfortable in her skin, it would bring the family together, and they could all do new things while exploring the world Emma knew best. But the most important part was that Regina wasn't depressed, she had been scared of her list and ideas being rejected by her loved ones. Now that that misguided insecurity was gone, they could work on being the unit they had always planned on being.
"So, what's first? I could teach you both how to ride a bike tomorrow. Snow and I brought bikes back during the curse that are just gathering dust in a closet." Regina blew out a breath.
"Sure." The brunette avoided Emma's eyes and the blonde chuckled excitedly.
"Are you scared to ride a bike? You, the former Evil Queen and badass Mayor?" Regina widened her eyes comically and poked Emma's ribs, causing her to chuckle as the blonde jumped away from her fingers.
"I am not afraid to mount a scrap of rusty metal on wheels, than you very much."
"We'll see about that tomorrow," Emma reached forward to tuck a piece of Regina's hair behind her ear as she stepped back into the brunette's personal space, "And babe, please, tell me when something's bothering you, okay? I won't ever laugh or dismiss it."
"I promise." Regina smiled genuinely, her eyes finally alit with pure joy, and Emma swooned. This woman would be the death of her.
"I need to get to work now, take over for my dad," Emma thrust her thumb toward the front door, "But later, we'll make copies of your list and we'll start making plans, huh?"
Regina nodded before placing a sweet kiss onto Emma's lips and swiping her hands across the blonde's shirt in an attempt to smooth down the wrinkles. She constantly told Emma to iron her clothes but the blonde insisted that Regina was being anal about it. After the third time, Regina just gave up on the endeavor, vowing to just love Emma Swan the way she came, flawed yet perfect. The woman was a true anomaly.
"I love you. Be safe." Regina whispered, hugging the blonde tightly causing Emma to grunt playfully.
"I love you too, so much. See you later," Emma placed one last kiss onto Regina's forehead before she strolled to the front door. She departed quickly, throwing over her shoulder, "Don't you start that list without me!"
Regina heard the door click shut before whispering, "Wouldn't dream of it."
A/N: Let me know what you think and if I should continue. Thanks for reading!