Fall Chapter 1, a d.gray-man fanfic

Fall

Chapter 1

Secrets

Summary: Allen Walker. The happy, kind, optimistic destroyer of time, the freer of the trapped souls of the akuma. His smile so bright, it could cheer up even the coldest, most dim situation. The one everyone could count on to still have a real smile when everything was over. Or, was this smile as real as everyone thought? One-shot Song-Fic unless someone asks for it to be continued…..

I don't own D. Gray Man. Or 'Easier to Run' by Linkin Park.

Allen held his face in his hands, as he stared at the ground, sitting on the edge of the bed, his coat thrown haphazardly in a corner. He had killed the akuma.. But still, he felt empty. Empty and useless. He had nearly gotten Kanda killed this time, again. It was so cold.

It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something long
It's so much easier to run
Replace all this pain here all alone

Allen shivered, and looked around. Timcanpy wasn't there… Good. Allen stood up and undid his cuffs. If the golem was here… Allen wouldn't be able to do what he was about to do. He rolled up his sleeves. He took out a single sheet of paper, and grabbed a quill. He sat down, and started to write. "Dear Kanda…."

Something has been taken from deep inside of me
The secret I've been locked away where one could never see
look so different, never show,
They never go away
Like moving pictures in my head

"I'm sorry. I know what a bother I was… I noticed, of course, it was hard not to, how you cast your glares my way. How, even in times of silent peace, you still bored into my skin with your eyes, hate seeming to radiate from your very being. I know you hated me. I know, that I was the annoying

beansprout, the cursed brat that didn't deserve to be in the order. You were right. I don't. I never did. I don't know what I was thinking. I'm sorry Kanda. I wrote this to you, because, even though I you hate me, I love you. Sincerely, Allen." Allen set the paper down on his desk. He picked up his coat, folded it, and put the letter in an envelope, which was set on top of the coat. Allen walked to his dresser, and pulled out a razor. He tested it on his finger. "It's just sharp enough…"

If I could change I would
Take all the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
If I could take all the shame and the pain I would
If I could change I would
Take all the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
I would take all the shame and blame

Allen sat on the floor, not willing to get his blood on the sheets that someone had worked so hard to clean. He made the first cut across the middle of his fore arm. He watched the blood flow, bright red liquid, glittering in the shallow light, dripping onto the floor with a gentle pip sound. The crimson puddle grew on the floor, and Allen made another slice on his arm, savoring every second of the pain, which he completely deserved. He needed to suffer, had to suffer. If he didn't…What type of friend would he be? Not that he had ever been a very good one. Always putting his friends in danger, always putting himself in danger, never thinking about the consequences of what he was doing. 'Pip. Pip. Pip.'

It's easier to run replacing this pain with something long
It's so much easier to run
Replace all this pain here all alone

Some things I remember but thought the soul bypassed
Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have
Sometimes I think I'm letting go and never looking back
I never really thought so, I never realized?

The blood flowed freely from every single cut he made. He sliced right over old scars, watching them split slowly open and once again release their caches of the dark maroon substance. Allen licked it

off his razor, wishing it was poison that could kill him instantaneously. Much to his disappointment, it wasn't. Allen dragged the knife along his skin, each cut going further down his arm. Further towards his wrist. Further towards the end. " I wonder… How much easier everyone's life will be… I mean… If I'm not here… They'd all be so happy… So, free…" Allen looked up when he heard a frantic tapping on his window. Timcanpy was ramming into the window, trying desperately to get it, to get in and save his master's idiot apprentice from doing something that couldn't be reversed.

Allen shook his head. " Don't worry Timcanpy. It's okay…It'll all be over soon. You'll be able to go back to master, and everything will be wonderful. You won't have to hang around a curse anymore. Won't that be great for you? Bye. Timcanpy. " Allen closed the curtains, careful not to get blood on them. Timcanpy flew off to find the one person he knew who could stop this. Kanda Yuu.

Kanda had just finished training, and was on his way back to his room, when a frantic yellow ball rammed into his face. He glared at the golem. "Watch where you're going." Timcanpy nervously flapped its wings and wiggled its teeny legs, as if trying to tell the stoic samurai something. Kanda sighed and finally gave it. "What. What you annoying flying tennis ball, what." Timcanpy played a video file. Allen was sitting on the floor of his room, crouched over his right arm, his left arm moving across it. Wait, what was that, dripping off of Allen's arm? It was dark and.. Kanda's eyes widened and he felt his heart go cold. And it was blood. Allen was cutting his arm, and heading for his.. Kanda took off running as fast as he could, with Timcanpy struggling to keep up with him. Allen was going to slit is wrist. Allen was trying to commit suicide.

Just watch it in the sun
All of the helplessness as I've
Pretending I don't feel misplaced
It's so much simpler to change

It's easier to run replacing this pain with something long
It's so much easier to run
Replace all this pain here all alone

Allen smiled, his first real smile in a long time. It stretched across his face, and his heart felt like it was finally at peace. His wrist. That was all that was left. Just a simple sweeping cut, and everything would be right in the world. Because he knew, and he figured that everyone else knew, that the world would be much better off without Allen Walker in it. The destroyer of time.. no, The fool. The one who thought he could save akuma, when his own soul was broken. The one who made his own father an akuma. The fool. The fool who deserved to die, the fool who didn't belong anymore.

Allen took the blade, and made the decsive cut across his wrist. Deep, and penetrating to the bone. Allen watched, with morbid fascination, with utter glee, as his life spilled out onto the floor in front of him, a dark crimson lake of finality. Allen sighed. It was over. Then there was the pounding.

Kanda was breathing heavily by the time he got to Allen's door, but that didn't stop him. He immidiently starting pounding on the door with all his strength. "BEANSPROUT, OPEN THE DOOR! OPEN IT NOW! PLEASE, ALLEN, I'M BEGGING YOU, OPEN THE DOOR! OPEN IT NOW! LET ME IN! PLEASE! PLEASE!" Kanda was worried, his heart aching, and he was afraid that Allen had already made the cut that would most likely prevent him from letting Kanda in, even if he wanted to. Kanda drew mugen, and smashed the door open. Allen was sitting, nearly dead, in a pool of blood. It was all Kanda could do to not scream. He sheathed mugen and ran over to Allen. "Beansprout?.. Allen? Allen, talk to me. Please, say something. Anything. Allen? Allen?" Allen coughed, then smiled weakly at Kanda. " You actually called me by my name. Allen fell into Kanda's arms.

-- --

Everyone heard it, and immidiently went cold. The sound of Kanda's anguished howl echoed throughout the headquarters, would be a sound never to be forgotten.

It's easier to run

If I could change I would
Take all the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made

It's easier to run

If I could change I would
Take all the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would

If I could stand up and take the blame I would
I would take all the shame with me

Lunar: Hmm. Wow, that was so sad.. and yet I love this chapter so much…. Okay, this was meant to be a one shot, but if everyone likes it enough, I may make it a series… Poor Kanda….