A/N: I own nothing. Up next is Jacob!
I was driving Bella to school in my Volvo when there was a flash of blinding light. I looked at the seat next to me.
Bella was not there.
In her place was a tiny green lizard. It was obviously computer animated.
"'Ello!" it greeted me in a thick British accent. (A/N: It is British, right? I don't know. It's an accent. Let's leave it at that.)
"Um… hello? Who are you, and what have you done with Bella?" I asked nervously.
"Well, who are you? Who is anybody? Let's talk about something useful now. Did you know that Geico has local representatives in your area?"
"Really?" I asked, suddenly interested. Wait, why did I care? I already had car insurance. I didn't need a talking lizard to tell me about another company.
"Yeah, yeah. They're totally in tune with your needs. Do you have Geico car insurance?"
"Um… no. And why are they using a lizard to advertise themselves?"
"I'm a gecko, you idiot." His eyes glowed red for a minute before they returned to their normal color.
"Did your eyes just turn red?"
"Eh… no," he said with a guilty expression on his face.
"Yes they did."
"No they didn't."
"Yes they did."
"No they didn't."
"Yes they did."
"No they didn't."
"Yes they did."
"No they didn't."
"Yes they did. You're a vampire, and you ate Bella!" I screamed.
"No I didn't."
"Die! Die! Die!" I yelled, grabbing the lizard… gecko… thing by the neck and biting into its skinny body. It took me all of about two seconds to drain it of its blood.
And then a deep voice echoed throughout the entire car.
"Geico. Fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance."
There was another bright flash, and then Bella was sitting by me with a frightened look on her face.
"Edward, why were you having a conversation with yourself in a British accent?"