A/N: WOOHOO! First eva one-shot collection! I've always wanted to do one of these, cuz what I like about one-shots is that you don't have to wait for them to update to see whate happens next and the author can just write straight through! ^^

DISCLAIMER: DreamsLuvr doesn't own Soul Eater in any way, shape or form.

PATTY THE MATCHMAKER

"AGAIN! You are such a jerk!" Maka shouted at Soul, slamming her books on the lunch table, causing Kid to flinch as a pebble on the table moved one millimeter to the left.

Soul, who was wearing an equally angry expression followed her. "I'll repeat myself again," he growled, his sharp teeth gritted. "It is not my fault! I just woke up, and there she was!"

Maka scoffed. "You obviously seemed to be enjoying it."

"SHUT UP!" Liz silenced the pair. "Everyday it's a new thing! Just stop! You're driving me crazy!"

Maka glared at Soul with intensity in her eyes. "I'll stop when he stops pissing me off!"

"Everything friggen pisses you off, you uptight woman!"

Black Star entered the scene with his bright smile on. "Now! Let us all calm down in the sight of my amazing smi-"

"SHUT UP!" Maka and Soul shouted at him, he could almost see the fire in their eyes.

"Sorry," he squeaked.

Tsubaki gasped. She couldn't believe that Black Star just apologized to anyone aside from her. They were really mad.

Liz clenched her fists. "Seriously! You guys should just stop fighting! Make up and kiss already!"

Maka laughed harshly. "Kiss him? I'd rather kiss Black Star!"

Soul glared. "Who'd want to kiss Miss Flat-as-a-Board?"

"MAKA CHOP!"

Soul was unconcious on the ground, his lunch spilled all over him. Maka glared down at him hard before turning away to join Kim and Jackie's lunch table.

"Holy son of shinigami!" Liz pounded her head on the table. Patty laughed at the sight and resumed poking at Soul's corpse.

Kid raised his eyebrow. He was kind of tired of people doing that. He sighed. "They really are the densest people in the world."

"I kinda wish they would just start dating already." Tsubaki said, her eyes glimmering with concern for her best friends. She glanced a Black Star, who was in fear for the first time. She was concerened for this idiot as well, of course. After all, it wasn't everyday when Black Star sits in feedle position muttering "please don't eat me."

"Why don't you just set them up at the party this weekend?"

"That's a great idea! Why didn't we-" Liz suddenly stopped when she realized who said that. All heads turned toward Patty.

Patty's face was bright and suddenly the sun broke through the clouds and shined on her. Hell with it, she might as well been wearing angel wings and a halo.

Patty giggled. "Just leave it to me!"

--

"Regarding the party?"

Patty grinned, her hands held a clipboard and she had a pen tucked behind her ear. For some reason, she was wearing sunglasses with the lens poked out so that she can look professional. She coughed. "Kid-kun made it required that you absolutely have to come with a date."

Maka's eyes widened as she sat against the tree. Patty sat down next to her.

"But not everyone has a date, right?"

Patty gave her a "not really," smile (which was absolutely fake, but she took acting lessons).

"Even you?"

"I'm going with Kid-kun."

"Liz?"

"Nee-chan is going with this guy she met at the club."

"Tsubaki?"

"Black Star."

"Soul?"

Patty opened her moth, then paused. "No one yet."

Maka sighed with relief before she could catch herself.

Patty smiled mischieviously. "Relieved?"

Maka's face turned bright red. She crossed her arms and tried to shield her embarassment. "As if."

Patty giggled. "There's a way you can get a date."

Maka lifted an eyebrow as if to say "go on…"

"I can do a matchmaker test with you and match you up with someone for the party."

"Okay, begin."

Patty did not touch the pen tucked behind her ear, but pulled a brown crayon out of her pocket.

"Okay, what's your favorite color?"

"Green."

"How would you describe yourself? And don't be modest!"

"Uh… Smart, I guess?"

"Favorite number?"

"Three."

"Favorite type of music?" Patty said as she exchanged the brown crayon for an purple crayon.

"Pop."

"Favorite hair color?"

"Black."

Patty took out a black crayon. "Favorite Pokemon?"

Maka stared at her confusedly. "What?"

"C'mon! It's for the sake of the test."

"I guess… Jiggly puff?"

Patty jumped up and put her crayons away. "Thanks!" She ran away at the speed of Death the Kid when his asymmetrical senses were tingling.

--

"Matchmaking test?"

"Mmhmm!" Patty took out a blue crayon.

"Okay, go ahead." Soul said, putting his hands behind his head.

"Favorite color?"

"Blue."

"How would you describe yourself?"

"Cool."

"Favorite number?" Patty took out a crayon in a light shade of pink.

"589."

"Favorite type of music?"

"Jazz and my piano playing."

"Favorite hair color?"

"Silver."

Patty sighed. Most of his answers were pretty self-centered.

"Favorite Pokemon?"

"Pikachu."

Patty stared. That was a really fast answer. " 'Kay thanks!"

--

Liz clenched the two sheets of paper in her hand. She stared at the answers, each in a different crayon color because Patty thought it looked pretty, but that was not the reason for the anger and frustration in her eyes. She threw them down on the table. "These two have nothing in common! I don't even know if they're allowed to be partners! Even their Pokemon prefrences are different!"

Kid stared at her with a strange expression. "Pokemon?"

"Don't ask me, I don't know."

"Well, this puts us in a rut."

Patty raised her hand innocently.

"Yes?" Kid said, resting on the couch.

"Well, first of all, we could just lie," Patty said. "But then I thought, 'isn't Soul the most obvious when he is jealous? And isn't Maka also obvious when she's jealous?' "

Liz smiled. "I think you might be on to something." She smiled and gazed off in the distance, devising her latest scheme yet.

"On what?" Patty asked.

Kid sighed. "Just play along…"

--

Patty sat down on the arm of the couch, and brushed off her tank top. What she liked about this party was that it wasn't one of those formal parties where you have to wear a dress all the time. She much preferred the short shorts she was wearing at the moment.

She sighed and leaned back and rested. Patty had had a hard day, interviewing every guy and girl that was invited and didn't have a date. Of course, she had to set them up to so that Maka and Soul wouldn't notice anything fishy.

"Patty! Can you help with the snacks?" Tsubaki's voice rang out from the kitchen.

"Hai!" Patty said as she scampered off to the kitchen. She saw Maka and her date entering from the corner of her eye. When she entered the kitchen she said to Tsubaki: "I saw her come in. Start operation: get Soul jealous!"

--

Maka was pretty happy with the date she was set up with. He was cute, smart, funny, nice… What more can a girl want?

"Thanks for helping set up, Tsubaki," she heard Kid's voice nearby. She searched through the crowd of people and caught a glimpse of Tsubaki.

"Hold on a sec," she said to her date before running off.

"It was no problem, really," Tsubaki said. "After all, it's for-"

"TSUBAKI! KID-KUN!" Maka interrupted. Tsubaki covered her mouth quickly before she could utter another word.

"Maka! How are you?" Kid greeted her.

"Don't 'how are you' me! What's with the whole date thing?" Maka questioned, putting her hands on her hips.

"What, you don't like your date?"

"Oh, no! He's fine! But-"

"Oh, look, it's Soul!" Kid suddenly said. Maka turned around. Sure enough, it was Soul with a girl on his arm. He looked a little annoyed though. Maka was equally annoyed.

"Excuse me for a minute," she said with an equally annoyed expression as she walked away.

"Now we just sit back and wait," Patty said, sneaking up on Kid and Tsubaki.

--

"I cannot believe you lost my book! You don't even read!" Maka shouted, slamming her hands on the table. Liz put her head down and Black Star kept his distance.

"I was trying to kill a spider!"

"With my book?!" Maka crossed her arms and smirked. "That's definitely not cool."

"That's weird, coming from the least cool partner ever." Soul said, also crossing his arms.

Maka clenched her fists and stomped. "I would've Maka-chopped you right now if someone didn't lose my book."

"You know," Kid said as they continued arguing. "You'd think that they'd stop arguing after they start going out."

Liz buried her head in her hands. "All that hard work setting them up, all for nothing!"

Patty smiled. "It wasn't all for nothing, watch." Patty stood up, The arguing couple was so into their argument that they didn't even notice the childish girl sneaking up behind Maka.

"PUSH!" Patty said cheerfully as she pushed Maka into Soul. Their faces both turned red and they split apart in embarassment after realizing they were obviously staring at eachother.

Liz raised her head and sighed, relieved. "It's so quiet…"

--

A/N: OMG THAT ENDING SUCKED! . I am sooo sry. I'm also sorry that I didn't type what happened after Soul arrived… Sorry, but it's hard to think up of something that wasn't boringly lame… And about Soul and Maka's dates, I couldn't think of names that I didn't already use… So you can imagine it was you if you want ;D

PLEASE REVIEW!!! If you don't, then… I dunno, just review!!! No flares plz ^^