DISCLAIMER: Sunrise, Nagoya TV, Sony Music Entertainment Graz Entertainment, and Ocean Studios hold the copyright over all names, likeness and rights of Yoroiden Samurai Troopers and Ronin Warriors. All these characters and materials are used without permission, and I'm not profiting from this piece of fan fiction.

Author's Disclaimer: This is a work of fanfiction. The opinions and observations as expressed by the characters in this piece of work, should not be construed as opinions and observations shared by the author.

The Shining Light of 'Shin'

By firewolf
June 2006

I could barely hold myself back from gasping in shock to see the bearer of Suiko in all his naked glory as he posed to dive into the lake. Without the armour to obscure his features, I can see only too clearly now his resemblance to-- to someone I've not thought of for a long time.

The weeping willow I hide behind serves to be my only shield from discovery. At present, unlike the many other times we clashed, I mean him no harm. That must be the only saving grace which prevents him from sensing my presence. With this war between us, it would not do for him to be unaware when he's in danger.

As I watch him, it-- reminds me of how similar this situation mirrored my meeting with his ancestor. He is-- just as I remember him to be.

Dare I hope? For this second chance at--

I confess-- I don't know what I can hope for now. Over four hundred years ago…

I had not thought of him for so long, least I go mad once more. A curse, which has ever stayed with my family…

With each generation, my family would hope desperately that the taint would at last pass, but I know it is within me. How else could I explain what I did to my family after his death; when my virtue is 'Tei?' 'Obedience to ones elders' I'd been told, 'especially of one's own family'?

I-- seldom think of those dark days. But lately, the shroud of forgetfulness that Talpa granted to me has been lifting.

'Granted'-- I've served so long under Talpa, I wonder now if it truly was what I asked for. He accomplished it so well, I wasn't even aware I had been made to forget until I started being plagued by these dreams.

Rajura was annoyed with me for thinking he was messing with my mind and filling my nightmares with his illusions. If I'm not wrong, he was upset that I would think he'd go back on the promise that we Masho had made among ourselves; to never use our powers against each other. Not frivolously in play, in any case. Not-- unless ordered by our lord and master.

It took me a while to trace the start of my troubles to our first meeting with this era's Bearer of Suiko. Once I made this discovery, the blurry shape that plagued my dreams took a more solid form to be identifiable.

I cannot say whether I really hoped to discover that under the blue armour, this boy would look like he did in my dreams. I don't-- I don't know what I want to do now that I've seen him. Now that I know...

I shake myself out of my reverie and quickly depart for my rooms in the Youjakai; best to think this out in safety and not where I can be discovered.

Four hundred years ago… Father was Doku Masho then. I was young and foolish; only 17 and already jaded and tired of the war between the Yamanouchi and the Mouri Clan.

Then, I had asked all the older relatives why we were fighting. And no one seemed to remember. We just were, and the reasons why was lost in time and age.

Our two clans were too evenly matched. The Doku Masho and the Bearer of Suiko were always in a stalemate whenever they clashed. The war was becoming draining on our respective economies. All our advisors had warned us that this could not go on.

So naive and innocent I was at that time. And-- so brash.

I was sick of the war and wanted it to end. And I was arrogant enough to think that it had to be through conquest, and that I alone could possibly find a way about it. After all, I had risen quickly in the ranks of father's army depending only on my ability for advancement. I was young enough to think that I could accomplish anything I set my mind on. And there was one fact, I eventually learned from our spies, which I thought that I alone could exploit.

It appeared that the youngest son of Suiko's Bearer had taken to sneaking out at night to disappear into the night. The spies had yet to succeed in following him or even to discover his destination. The lad proved too wily for pursuers. But I could make a guess.

None in our armies could so easily waltz past the border guards as easily as I; a skill I had worked hard to perfect, though I had yet to use it to our advantage. However, I was not so foolish as to endanger myself by approaching the encampments in an attempt to spy on the enemy.

It was with one of these many excursions that I learned of a lake which was but a mile away and could be a small haven for a particular someone. That, I thought would not be as difficult to approach.

While it well is known an enemy would be foolish to approach Suiko's favoured ones in the presence of water, I was full of confidence that my target could not possibly be as strong as the Bearer, nor his elder brothers. The spies had ever assured me his father and brothers appeared to treat my target as a fragile child who needed protection and kept him away from the arts of war.

I thought it a simple matter for me to capture the boy and use him as a hostage. Surely I would be able to deliver to my father the instrument of our enemy's surrender. I hadn't counted on myself becoming a prisoner to a young boy's charm…

He was so filled with innocence and joy… so carefree… My first sight of him robbed me of all thought of kidnap or capture.

As I watched him play and frolic in the waters, I did try desperately to regain a sense of the mission I had set for myself. But I was lost.

When he turned to look at me, his sea green eyes held me as trapped as a fish in a net. And I couldn't believe how easily he trusted me; swimming straight towards me as if I was one of his countrymen and not the son of his clan's greatest enemy.

He walked out of the water to approach me without a lick of care for his nudity. "Can-- I trust you?"

"I-- would like that" I could say nothing else as he took my hand in his and led me to his pool.

/How could I ever have forgotten that first meeting?/ I ask myself. How could I have forgotten him looking at me, his kanji of 'Shin' blazing bright and blue?

What followed... I cannot remember now. That memory still escapes me, but I know our meeting must have been congenial. I recall many more meetings after that; meetings where we'd just sit and talk or frolic together in the waters.

What I do remember clearly is his private sanctuary. One of the many secrets he shared with me. As he trusted me, I trusted him and followed his lead deep under the waters of that lake.

It was unlike me to so easily agree to a stunt without thought of the risks. It never even occurred to me that the boy could have intended to drown me. In any case, the concern was moot since we quickly emerged in a sparkling cavern beneath the banks of the lake.

It was in this wonderous cavern that we shared our first kiss; where he tried so shamelessly to seduce me. Yea'Gods, the boy was fourteen and at the pinnacle of youth. An age many a seasoned soldier would have consider the ripest for sex and an apt time to introduce a young charge to 'adulthood.' But to me, he was a child!

I should have guessed he had this in mind when he led me to his secluded grotto. We had talked often enough of his peers and their mentors. His father had refused to allow him an apprenticeship to any of the warriors. And his countenance would be bitter as he recounted the boasting of his friends for having engaged in this rite of passage. Clearly, he wanted me to bring him through that rite in defiance of his father and elder siblings.

The memory of that time brings a smile to my face. In retrospect, I cannot believe my self control in not giving in to the blatantly offered temptation. But I did, telling him that it would be wrong; that I was his friend and not his Master or mentor; that I would be disrespecting him and that he would be looked upon like a common whore for giving himself to one as unsanctioned as I.

To my amusement and relief, he was reassured rather than disappointed about being refused. Oh, no mistake he did want to lose his virginity. However, it was brought on more by his feelings of inadequacy with his peers than any personal desire.

But I did so desire him. I wanted him and I wanted this recognised and accepted by my people and his. And-- I realised then how I could use the war to my advantage. Little did I know how my family's madness would twist and destroy my grand plans...

I had approached my father to send out a petition on my behalf. And in retrospect I should have suspected something amiss when he gave in to my suggestions so easily. But then the war had been a long and harsh master to my people and I was so sure that an offer of peace would be much welcomed by both sides.

My young friend certainly expressed to me his relief for the cease fire and the talks which were now taking place between his father's people and the envoys my father sent. He did, however, express disgruntlement for one of the conditions my father was pressing for at my request; a marriage to seal our families and bury the animosity between our people.

I dared not to speak too much of it lest I give away the game. Then I found myself too caught up in teasing my young friend about his displeasure. And his wild stories of what he expected his mate to be like kept me in stitches for many of my visits. The least of his descriptions gave me a split tongue; the more horrendous, a scaled cock.

Oh, his misery as the date drew near grew to near epic proportions. But most touching to me was his regret that we would no longer be able to meet again once he took his new station. I don't know how I managed to continue to keep my secret from him then, but I did as I gave him assurances of my friendship and devotion when we met again. 'When, not if' I had guaranteed him, though he did wonder about my confidence.

In the morning, I was ready for my triumph at last. In the back of my mind, I had recalled my early youthful confidence of ending the war and uniting our people. Little did I know then that I could achieve this through peaceful means, and I was to be happier for this achievement...

In hind sight, at this eleventh hour, I should have paid more attention to my father. But my mind was not on treachery. It was only upon my love and the anticipation of witnessing his countenance once he saw me for who I really was.

As I sat in my sedan chair being carried to the central meeting area, I could see Suiko's Bearer and his sons standing grim and protectively behind their youngest; the child in their family and my love, who sat pale and miserable in his finery awaiting the arrival of his husband-to-be.

As one they had stared at me and in their gaze warned me of painful retribution if I should hurt their precious child. I found no problem to meet their gaze with the promise of care and devotion to him that I loved.

He had chosen the moment I stood before him to finally raise his head to meet my gaze. And delight filled my heart to see his eyes widen in astonishment, prompting me to briefly and impudently stick out my tongue at him; assuring him that unlike a snake, I did not have a forked tongue.

His giggles when he realised why I did that broke the grim humour of his entourage, making them look at him with puzzlement. And my heart swelled to watch as he turned his face towards his father and his brothers to give them a bright, confident smile which he turned on me with devastating effect.

And once more I was bathed in the shining blue light of the kanji on his forehead. The light of 'Shin' which also started to shine from the foreheads of his father and his elder brothers as they looked upon me with acceptance, favour and wonder.

A moment of joy and happiness that was too fleeting as an arrow suddenly pierced my love's throat to kill him instantly and splash his bright red blood over my stunned countenance.

We were close enough then that I was able to catch his body in my arms-- to hold him and stared at his empty gaze with the now dead smile. I confess that I went into deep shock, not caring of the chaos which surrounded me as my father's troops came out of hiding to attack the 'wedding' party.

I was only vaguely aware of Suiko's Bearer as he stood over me, ready to extract vengeance for this cowardly attack and take an eye for an eye. But he did not-- Looking into my shattered, tear filled eyes, he realised I had no part of this treachery. So he just took his son's body from my arms and let me be.

When next I was roused from my stupor, it was to find myself in my father's presence as he cackled over the fine ambush opportunity I had created for him. And I listened in numbed silence as he told me how he had plotted in the shadows to target our enemy's honour guard to kill the best and the brightest among their troops; plus strike a mortal blow to Suiko's Bearer in stealing from him the one life he and his sons most cherished.

My virtue is 'Tei.' 'Obedience to ones elders, especially of one's own family'. This very virtue that is the heart of my family's values should have made me accept my father's decision for what it was without question. But I could not.

I could see the madness within him, for making a decision which would bring decades more war and misery to our people. Killing the boy-- an innocent-- Suiko's Bearers would never forgive my family. And-- neither could I--

I felt the same madness filling my mind as I called the armour to me. And there is little else that I can remember after that as I turned my power against the one who birthed me and the army which followed him.

Now as before, there was just Talpa. I could not remember anything else. Did I slaughter my own people then? I cannot recall and I have little desire to. I know only the present. That I am Doku Masho and the Yamanouchi Clan is centuries dead.

But-- he lived again.

The Youjakai could not hold me. I found myself unable to stay away from the grotto that had once been a haven to me and my young love; and now-- he-- this new Bearer of Suiko swims again in its waters.

My approach to this quiet pool is too familiar and I cannot halt my movements from leading me to the tree where I had once spied on my love so long ago. And Suiko's bearer is there again this night; but-- dare I take this second chance which is seemingly offered to me on a silver platter. Isn't it different now?

I have been Doku Masho for four centuries and Talpa's minion for probably just as long. I am no longer an innocent, brash young soldier. I am a hardened veteran of a hundred wars, well seeped in the madness of my bloodline with a lust for blood. I--

He turns to look in my direction then when he's at the centre of the pool, so much like my love of long ago, and-- his kanji shines upon me. And the years melt away as I stiffly walk into view with this blue light of 'Shin' upon me.

He-- I don't know how he can turn to me with such trust once more. But he does.

"We have met like this before." He steps out of the water to approach me without a hint of modesty for his nudity.

"Yes-- we have." I cannot stop myself from reaching up to touch his face. A face that is much older than my love ever reached. He-- this boy is no child.

"Can-- I trust you?"

"I--" I can scarcely breathe as I find myself trapped in his innocent eyes; sea green eyes which once belonged to my love of long ago. "I-- would like that."

And I could say nothing else as he took my hand in his and led me to his pool.

Owari

Thanks for reading.

firewolf