Hello and good to see you, reader! Apple Fairy here! Another contest entry I'm posting up here! Enjoy. :3
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Tales of the Abyss or the song 'Painters'.
He Dreamt of Selenias
Story by Apple Fairy
Why is he looking at me like that? Like a tiger would his next meal? Why is looking at me like that?
It makes me scared. It makes me sad. Why can't he ever call me by my name? Why must it always be an insult instead?
My friends are with me. She's with me.
This makes me happy.
But he makes me afraid.
And I make myself sad.
Luke had first seen Asch.
Lying on the branches above him, looking down upon him, like an angel looking down on the world. He wasn't sneering at him, his eyes full of spite. Not like he would always look at him. No, he wasn't looking at him lovingly either. Not with worry, not with care. Not like they were brothers. No.
He was just looking. Like a bored angel looking down on a small, insignificant mortal.
A replica.
They stared at each other for awhile, Asch's eyes never leaving his. Luke felt like if he were to look away, Asch would disappear.
Apart of him wanted him to disappear, another wanted to disappear himself. This made Luke sad.
Then, he felt Guy's fingers on his forehead, brushing away the bangs, and looked up to him, realizing he was lying on his lap. Guy was smiling at him. He wondered if he knew Asch was above them, or if he didn't care.
He placed his bets on the latter.
"Luke." Guy said, softly, like they were sharing a secret, "Luke."
Luke saw Asch behind Guy's head, and wondered why he didn't come down and join them. He bet Guy would whisper his name too if he wanted.
Would call him a friend.
"Yeah?" Luke found himself asking. He could hear a song he didn't know somewhere far-off.
"Marry Tear, okay?"
The song got louder, but Luke ignored it. He felt himself frowning (was he?)
"Why?" He asked, wondering what business it was of Guy's. He found these thoughts slipping away, his body felt light. Light and warm. He forgot what he was wondering about in an instant.
"Because you love her." He explained, "So marry her."
The song was right next to his ears by then (it felt like it) and Luke felt himself drifting because of it. He shook his head.
"So? Tear wouldn't want to marry me." He looked back up to Asch, just so he wouldn't have to look at Guy, "She's Tear."
He said this like it made all the sense in the world.
Asch stayed quiet, and bored. Luke wondered if he was so bored, why not go somewhere else?
The leaves looked like a tattered blanket behind him.
"You don't know that Luke. Why not ask her?"
Guy's fingers felt warm and solid on his forehead. He wanted to hear his heartbeat, just this once. He wanted Tear to be there. Luke thinks he loved her. He did.
But she was Tear, and Tear would always be Tear.
It was pretty much self-explanatory, he thought.
"She's not here, Guy." Luke sighed, like it was Guy who was the younger one, "I can't do that."
Guy smiled, like he had a secret all to himself. It made Luke curious, if for a second. (Asch kept on looking bored.)
"She's right there, silly. Ask her." He motioned, making Luke the younger one again. Luke looked there, Guy's hands still warm and on his shoulders.
And there she was, the most beautiful thing in the world.
She wasn't wearing shoes, her back straight, hands in her lap as she sat. And sang.
So that was what Luke was hearing, the loud song. It was Tear.
Luke noticed she was looking not to him, not to Guy, not even to Asch (did anyone know he was there?) but to selenias.
Selenias.
They were in a field of selenias, a long endless field. Leaned against a tree, Asch in the branches, Tear singing the song Luke didn't know.
Luke wanted to know what the song was. He wanted Tear to tell him.
But she kept on singing, kept on singing.
Showing no sign of stopping.
Luke eased against Guy's chest, and he felt Guy hold him. He looked back up to Asch.
He was looking up, for once his stare not heavy on Luke, a dark cloud, but on the selenias.
No. Not on the selenias. But on Natalia, in the field.
She was laughing, then stopping, as she picked some more flowers with Anise, who was with Ion. Anise and Ion were holding hands, as if she were to let go, Ion would fly away with those angel wings no one saw.
Maybe.
Natalia looked over to them, and waving, and surprisingly enough Asch smiled. This caught Luke off guard, and he wondered why he never smiled like that normally.
Guy smelled like lavender. A heavy, choking scent of lavender. Luke didn't like it, not one bit.
"Ask her, Luke." Guy said, "I want nephews."
"You're not my brother, Guy." Luke answered him with a pout.
"I might as well be."
"I know."
Luke loved Guy, because he was his best friend, and he supported the love he had for Tear. He loved Ion because Ion was smiling, and putting flowers in Anise's hair, and because he was the kindest person he knew. He loved Natalia as she put a self-made flower crown on her head, and waved to Asch again, and because she was prideful and his childhood friend. He loved Anise when she danced with Ion, the flowers falling out of her hair, her smile wide, because she seemed to cheer up the whole place in an instant.
He even loved Asch, because Asch was his brother, the brother he wished wouldn't take his life.
His parents. His home. His name.
His life.
Luke loved his friends, even if Guy smelled of lavender too strongly, even if Jade somehow snuck through the background and was now taking a stroll through the fields with Van. They were talking about something, and he wondered if it was about him.
About the replica.
Tear stopped singing.
Luke looked at her, and he wondered if she would turn to look at him. He wanted to see her blue eyes, wanted to hear her talk. Even if most of them were lectures, he didn't care. This meant Tear cared for him, and was watching him. He would be strong, just so he wouldn't disappoint her.
He wanted to change, he wanted to show Tear he could change, wanted her to be proud of him.
For whatever reason.
Luke's body felt warm, and light. Like he could fly away any second, like the only thing keeping him down was Guy's arms.
"Tear." Aforementioned person said, "Tell him. Tell him you'll marry him."
Luke suddenly hated Guy for asking Tear such an embarrassing thing without his permission. It was his question and he would ask it himself. He didn't need his help.
But he didn't think this, waiting for Tear's response, and looked up. Asch was looking down at him again with that heavy, vulture-like stare. Like he was watching the climax of the play.
Tear looked back to him, and Luke finally got to see those blue eyes.
"Only if he asked me."
He felt like asking her right then and there.
Jade and Van walked closer to them, and Luke remembered that Van was dead, and that he wasn't supposed to be there.
Luke wondered if it was a ghost. Or maybe Luke was a ghost, and was having a last look on the living. Maybe Van was coming to take his soul back to the Afterlife, because the last question he had was answered.
Maybe Guy was his guardian angel for urging him to ask it.
Maybe Luke was looking into it too deeply.
Jade stopped in front of them, holding his hand out to Tear. She took it and stood up, and for awhile they looked so mature together. The most mature people Luke knew.
Speaking of mature people, he felt Guy's arms leave him, and stood up, causing Luke to topple over. He fell, but it was a soft fall, and his eyes were met with Asch's. Had no one seen Asch?
Or was it Asch hadn't wanted to be seen? Only he and Natalia had seen him.
Not Guy who was his old best friend. Not Tear, who might be able to share war stories with him. Not Jade, who would've poked fun at him, would've gotten along with him just the same. Not Ion (who was now walking over to them with Anise and Natalia) who gave anyone in the whole world a chance. Not Anise, who maybe would've gotten in lots of fights with him, might be the white to his black. His opposite.
But none of them saw Asch. Only he and Natalia.
Natalia and him.
Luke grew sad at this, even when everyone was smiling at him, when Natalia was looking up to Asch. She held out her hand for him, and surprisingly enough, Asch took it, holding it. Not ready to get out from his hiding spot, but willing to hold her hand. Natalia's hand was small, and Luke wondered if Tear's was too.
They kept on looking at each other, sad. This made Luke sad, too. Why wouldn't Asch come down and join them?
Then, Van was holding his hand out to Luke. Luke took it, and stood up, and then, everything began to disappear.
Suddenly, he was falling. The ground had fallen underneath him, the world had abandoned him, and he hung on the edge. Everyone looked down on him, not smiling anymore, but solemn.
Bored.
Luke began to smell lavender again. A choking, heavy smell that made his eyes water, and his throat hurt.
Or maybe he was crying.
Van held on, his face quiet, considerate, his old student's fate in his hands.
Well, hand, but still.
"Replica. You're a replica." He said, with a voice that was so quiet it scared him.
Luke felt the tears, hot and wet on his cheeks. Yes. Replica. He was a replica. He knew it, even when everyone began to turn and leave, one by one. Who could blame them? Who would want to stay with a replica anyway?
Tear stayed.
Luke's breathing got harder, and suddenly everything was hot. His lungs screamed in pain, his body felt stretched to it's limits. He felt like he was too big for his own skin, and it hurt. Everything hurt.
Tear began to sing again.
She sang and sang that song Luke didn't know, and she continued to sing as she turned and walked away with the others.
"He put water-colored roses in her hair
He said, "Love, I love you, I want to give you mountains,
the sunshine, the sunset too
I just want to give you a world
as beautiful as you are to me"
Luke wishes he knew the song.
All was left was Van, Asch, Natalia, and him.
Just them, the last people on this whole world, it felt like. He felt Asch's harsh eyes on him, and suddenly his face wasn't bored, but scorned. Like he had everything stolen from him, and he looking down on the thief, and his just punishment.
Which wasn't too far from the truth, Luke noticed. He noticed, and he longed to be back with Guy arguing why he could not marry Tear, to watching Anise and Ion dancing. Twirling and laughing and being quite content with life.
Luke wanted that back. He wanted to be happy, he wanted to belong, he wanted to be 'Luke'.
He wanted Asch to be 'Asch' and he wanted to be 'Luke'.
"Time's up." Van said. Luke saw Natalia let go of Asch's hand, and cry. She shook her head at Luke, and he wondered: Was she crying because Luke was being punished, or because it had taken too long for him to be punished?
Then, she turned away, and it was no longer her problem.
Van's grip got loose, and Luke's face felt hot and wet, and he hated it. Lavender was eating away at his lungs, and he cried out. For who, for whatever justice, he didn't care.
He wanted to be 'Luke'. But it was only a borrowed name, and this made him horribly sad.
Luke (if that was his name) looked up to Asch, the last thing he saw. He talked.
"Luke," he said softly, and pointed at him, "Luke."
Then, he fell.
Fell, and fell. Van and Asch grew smaller, and the darkness swallowed them up, and ate Luke too, and he cried out. He wanted the selenias. The dark just scared him. He wanted selenias. Fields and fields of selenias.
He slammed into the ground (was it a ground?)
And woke.
He was breathing hard when he woke up. Sweat beaded his face, and his sheets were tangled. The air felt thick and heavy. It smelled of lavender.
"Master!" Mieu cried out, catching his attention, the small cheagle on his stomach, "Master, you're awake!"
That, he was.
He sighed heavily, and felt the sleep blink away from his eyes. He got up, knocking over Mieu in the process, and opened the windows.
The smell of lavender was unbearable, and the pleasant, clear air was nice.
He leaned out of the window, and in not too long a time, Mieu joined him.
"Master, are you okay? You were sweating and screaming, and I wasn't sure what to do! Did you have a bad dream?" He asked, worried. Luke looked over to him, and sighed. His eyes felt irritated.
"Yeah. But I'm fine now." He reassured him, getting as much fresh air as he could. His lungs hurt. Where did all this lavender come from, anyway?
"What was it about, Master?"
His existence. The truth. Asch. Master Van.
Everything he was worried about these days. Of course he would get a nightmare only weeks later since the Absorption Gate. Ever since 'replica' had been whispered, after the revelation as soon as Luke came home was made…everything seemed borrowed. No longer his, but 'Luke's'. Asch's. His room wasn't his, his parents, his home.
Not even Guy was his friend, having originally been Asch's servant.
Not that it mattered since four days had passed since he left for Grand Chokmah. For a new life, for the title of 'Count Gaillardia'. Leaving Luke alone to deal with these whispering, skeptic maids that called him 'replica' behind his back.
Not that Luke would've told him anyway.
Luke told Mieu none of this, and shrugged.
"It doesn't matter." He said quietly. He knew he was worrying the sacred beast, was being vague, but he didn't care. He was too tired to care, and yawned. Mieu looked up to him, and fidgeted, not sure what to say. He looked around the room, then brightened.
"Oh, Master! Did you notice the lavender?"
How couldn't he?
"Yeah. Who brought them here?" He asked, acting interested even through his mind was filled with his dream. His nightmare.
"Pere! I told him you seemed worried and he said these would help you! So I had him bring a lot!"
No wonder.
Luke smiled nonetheless, touched, if only a little. "…Thank you, Mieu."
Mieu smiled, and jumped up. "Master thanked me!"
Mieu was probably the last thing Luke had to keep him company. Guy was gone, Natalia left after only a week of returning, and none of the other's sent him letters.
He wondered where Asch was. What he was doing now. He wondered if he would come back to the manor, would take back his name, would kick him out.
Luke grew sad at this. He wanted to ask Tear what he should do. Maybe Guy. Maybe Ion (he was a replica, too). He was left with so many questions, the possible answers scared him.
Scared him bad.
Luke sighed loudly, realizing what the dream meant. He put his chin in his hands and looked up to the shining fonstones in the sky.
Luke missed his friends. He wanted to be wanted.
That's the end of it! Ah, sorry if it was so strange in the beginning, and if the writing was too choppy. I'm not too proud of this work. Ugh. Dx
Oh, and the lyrics was from 'Painters' by Jewel, if anyone cares. The tune made me think of the dream, and was a great inspiration! :3
Um, but…thank you for reading anyway! I'm very grateful! Ciao! :3
-Apple Fairy