Title: Forevermore
Author: sexylemonface
Pairings: Bella/Edward
Warnings: Pain. Heartbreak. SUICIDE.
Summary: Based when Edward leaves in New Moon. Use of a song "Forevermore – Jed Madela"
Note: Well, well, well, we meet again old friend.
Extra Note: Bold italics is the song... =)
Forevermore
Please hear me out my friend; I've something to say that's from within…
He said it would be like he never existed, what a joke.
Nothing material remains of who he was, but the most vivid memories are those that are locked into my heart.
I can remember everything about him. His touch, his face, his lips, his love...
It's our last memory; try to think back I'll help you see…
They say time heals all wounds; no amount of time could take this dagger from my heart.
Life is unbearable… I need shelter, I need closure, and I need him.
All of those nights we shared; all of those days you were there…
Month after month I sit here.
What am I thinking? That he'll return to me?
If he truly loved me wouldn't he be back to pick up the pieces of my shattered soul?
All hope is lost when the only one you truly love doesn't feel the same way.
I just wanna love you forevermore; and I wanna hold you just like before...
I try to live my life, but everything I do, everything I see reminds me of him.
Romance kicks me in the face, couples rip at what remains of my heart and whenever I close my eyes he's there in my thoughts.
And maybe someday we might just find a way; and we can love forevermore...
He left me all alone, he left me to do as I please.
All I want is him, and he thought he was doing the best for me?
The best for me would be to be with him for the rest of time, he should know that better than anyone.
If I could turn back time; I would have never let you go...
Trying to find the strength to go on is almost impossible, I cry all the time, I have several nightmares in one night.
The only possible way I can be with him now is to end it all...
I must spend eternity with him, no matter how it's done.
And you would still be mine; but here I am crying all alone...
I'm crying again.
It's usually like this, every single day and night.
But this time there is a difference, it's all going to end and I will be with him forever.
All of the love we've shared; all of the time you were there...
They tell me to move on, that I'm overreacting but in actual fact I'm not reacting at all, my heart is controlling everything.
My expressions, my movements and most of all the way I'm feeling.
I just wanna love you forevermore; and I wanna hold you just like before...
Do they think I want to feel this way? That I want my life to go to waste?
Of course not, I want to be able to live, laugh and... and love...
But that is all in the past now, I'm unable to go on without him...
And he doesn't want me.
And maybe someday we might just find a way; and we can love forevermore...
For all of the time he's been away I've tried to tell myself he would come back for me, that he really did love me, that he made a mistake and he'd fix it as soon as he realized...
It's been way too long for that to be the case.
I'm lost without you; oh tell me what should I do...
Nothing seems right, my mind is a blur.
I'm distancing myself from everyone and everything and I don't even know I'm doing it.
It will be better for everyone as well as myself to do this.
Now that you're gone; I can't go on alone...
I'm curled up in the shower, still fully clothed.
I'm sobbing quietly into my knees, then I see the blade from out of the corner of my eye.
I pick it up and test it on my finger, razor sharp.
A single drop of blood falls from the small cut and washes away immediately.
I'm a lonely one; I need you again...
I close my eyes and feel myself shaking, but I'm not afraid.
I need to be with him, I need to be out of this world, I need to be nothing.
I'm shaking with anticipation... adrenaline...
I just wanna love you forevermore; and I wanna hold you just like before...
I hold the blade to my wrist and cut.
First; for when he kissed me.
Second; for when he told me he loved me.
Third; for lying.
I open my eyes and look at myself, there engraved into my pale flesh were 3 newly sliced wounds.
Blood pours from me and turns the water flowing a crimson red.
And maybe someday we might just find a way; and we can love forevermore...
My mind slowly goes numb and I cut one fourth and final time; for him leaving me.
This time it was a lot deeper and I feel myself fall as the darkness slowly took over.
I just wanna love you forevermore; and I wanna hold you just like before...
I hear a terrifying wail from far off and a cry of emotional turmoil.
I hear him.
I feel him holding me.
No, no, no, NO BELLA NO!!
I see his face, his lovely, beautiful face.
His dark hair, his marble skin, his dark... loving eyes.
I try to reach out to him but am unsure if I did anything.
I whisper, so quietly I almost don't hear it myself...
And maybe someday we might just find a way; and we will love forevermore...
I just want to love you.......
forevermore......
Note: Well that's depressing... lol
REVIEW REPLIES!! (If you left a review, look here))
belllalicious: I rated it M because she kills herself lol. Well Ima change it then xP
gwibby: woahwoahwoah lol I have the urge to write more twilight ff!! heh..