A/N: So this is a one-shot I wrote about six months ago. Enjoy!
Okay, you want the straight story, you cop dude, thinking you're so tough? Well, I can take you in a fight, noob. You wanna try me? You wanna?
Get to the story, kid, you say?
Don't you patronize me. I'll tell you when I'm good and ready.
-Okay, I'm ready.
Well, me and my friend Julian were at the mall at the Radio Shack collecting parts for our newest project. Our obsession is sort of building electric gizmos, and although most of our stuff has just exploded, or sprayed water on us, or in one case burned my little sister's eyebrows off (Mom was really mad about that one), we're still hoping we'll be able to put together something. Right now, we're working on a working robot. The only problem is, my parents won't give us batteries anymore, so we're using potatoes right now.
Yes, potatoes, you noob. For crying out loud, you've never heard of a potato battery? Look it up some time, you noob, instead of watching porn.
Okay, I know, you use the word noob too much. You're still a noob, though.
Anyway, Julian and I had just collected our parts and were heading out of the mall when we spotted a new attraction across the road. Decaying posters portraying animatronic characters in presumably scary poses plastered the outside, and letters stuck to the facade spelled out Fazbear's Fright above the image of an animatronic bear leering at us.
"That looks cool." Julian said.
"Looks cheesy if you ask me." I replied. "What is this... a haunted-house knock-off of Chuck E. Cheese's?"
"Oh, for crying out loud, it's two bucks." Julian told me. "We're going in if you like it or not."
Yes, we went in, and yes, it was locked. We went up-
Come on, my parents are gonna ground me bad enough when you let me out of here. Don't give me the 'breaking-and-entering' line. I've heard it a thousand times.
Anyway, we went to the front and saw that it was closed till Monday and were like, "What the hell?" We weren't going to wait, so we jimmied the lock and crept in.
Huh? It was twelve or so, last Monday. You didn't even read the files, did you, noob?
You bet it was creepy! You've got no idea, cop-man. What lighting they did have just made it even creepier. There was this chicken head on the floor and a purple bunny on a stand... I just wanted to get through, but then Julian noticed a security camera and started making faces at it. It was creeping me out, and standing still waiting for Julian didn't help.
So after I pulled Julian away, he saw an air vent. He said, "We gotta crawl in the vents. We can't miss this opportunity," so he yanked open the air vent, sparks flew everywhere, and crawled inside.
So we were crawling in the vents and Julian was playing a drum solo on the vent floor when we saw this yellow animatronic... the, uh, Trap-spring or something like that, is what they called it...
Yeah, Springtrap. That's it.
Anyway, Julian was joking around, smacking its butt and saying, "Come at me, bruh," when it turned and shrieked at us with this awful hissing noise. We ran out of the vent, and I hit my head five times but I didn't care. When we got out of the vents we saw the place had caught fire. For a moment I was confused, then remembered all the sparks from Julian pulling the vent open. The yellow rabbit kept chasing us until it fell into some burning stuff. It caught fire, but chased us anyway, so we had a flaming rabbit chasing us. Its arm burned off and fell to the floor, and instead of metal inside was human flesh and bone. Mummified, soaked in blood, wearing the remnants of a purple uniform.
Julian screamed like a little girl, although he'll say he didn't. We ran for it and when we got out, we saw the cop cars waiting... You know the rest.
Come with you? Okay, bruh.
What's this room? I- Hey, it's the bunny. Is it gonna attack me? I-
JULIAN! Julian, what are you doing in that- AAH! Let go of me! What happened to Julian! Why's he inside that bunny? What did you do to him?
My God, your eyes are glowing... purple! What's that yellow bear thing doing there?
NO! GET IT AWAY FROM MY HEAD-