Forget all the bullshit you've seen on tv or in the movies or heard from your friends. Sudden and intense I might add severe pains. Your waters break and splash across the floor. You're rushed into hospital, huffing puffing, then lie on your back in a bed pushing, sweating. Then, joy! Your baby is born and you look down at your baby and say "you are my world i love you so much". That might happen for the lucky people. But lets be honest it probably won't, actually scratch that none of that will happen. Its complete shit.

I hadn't even known I was pregnant until I gave birth in the bar. Completely scared. And using gas and air for pain relief with fucking ginger as my midwife. FUCKING GINGER!

It was the most difficult and fucked up thing I had ever experienced in my life. I have no idea how I even ended up pregnant. Vampires couldn't even get pregnant it just didn't make sense I couldn't understand it.

I was in active labour for about 12 hours, pushed for 40 minutes and I'd rate the experience as the most PAINFUL THING I HAD EVER EXPERIENCED! But let me start from the beginning...

Hep v stage five, that's what I was or what I'd been told I was. I had contracted the virus from Eric who had contracted the virus from my vampire aunt Nora and now I'd had given it to Alcide so he was now a proud carrier of the hepatitis v virus. And nothing not even Sarah newlines blood couldn't even save me. She had died of malnutrition and none of us wanted to turn her. Funnily enough I hadn't inherited any of the usual symptoms. Which were: weakness, blindness, feeling hot which i did have at one point, the tell tale signs dark veins and much more. In actual fact the only ugly dark veins I had were nothing more than the blue ones stretched across my swollen abdomen. Just an unfortunate symptom of hep v in females. Or so I thought.

present day:

I stood behind the strip watching Eric with sookie. He brushed a strand of her perfect golden hair away from her face. What was it about her that made her so…desirable. Why did everyone love her so much? flail over her? worship the ground she walked on? what did she have that I didn't. I mean bill had love her before he had kicked the bucket; hell he had even fucking died just so she could have a fucking vampire free life. Even alcide had even loved her well, lusted after her. Until the day he'd finally seen sense and shacked up with me Much to Eric's distaste. But then again Eric and alcide had never been the best of friends...mostly allies. Not even a month after vampire Bill's death Sookie had run back to my Eric and Eric being the mug he is has fallen for it all over again. They deserved each other I couldn't stand the pair of them.

In fact, I don't think I have ever hated Eric as much as I hate him right now. how could he be so blind. So naive.

...

But It still wasn't fair Eric hadn't looked at me in that way since we had first met and he…he had left me after he told me he loved me told me I would not be replaced look how that had worked out and to say one other thing we had actually briefly gotten back together last year when he had that hep v virus because I was afraid to lose him and I had wanted to stay by his side until I found a cure but that hadn't worked out because a few months after when he had been cured I had told him I didn't love him anymore and that was after we had sex I recalled lying on the bed beside him before muttering " that was the last time' he sits up looking at me confused and looking slightly taken aback by my sudden revelation and asks me what I mean ' that's the last time we have sex' I say loudly getting up and off of the bed ( I know now it was my hormones), I rolled my eyes at the memory drying the edge of the last glass before strutting my stuff towards the office only to be stopped by Eric's hard edged voice oh and i forgot to mention we were in an argument. Again.

'Pamela-He stopped me with his deep masculine voice that used to make me melt well it still kind of did though I would never admit it- I froze my jaw locking in frustration, what did he want? To rub my face in it some more? yeah sookie had won! She had gotten him like she wanted, like they both wanted congrats you fuckinglations nobody being me gives a fuck what do you want an award. I wanted to fucking punch him…and her I wanted him to just fuck off with sookie and never come back that would make things one thousand times easier.

'yeah?' I asked coldly playing it cool as my voices tone mirrored his,

'don't forget to restock the b negatives he said still watching sookie; I smirked falsely then bitterly dipped my head to show understanding.

Opening the door to the office I swayed inside only to be stopped by Eric again,

'And Pam'

I growled in frustration anon turning around and plastering one fake ass grin onto my face,

'Yes Eric?' I buzzed brightly

'I'm going to sookie's so I won't be back until tomorrow night' he said sadistically a slight smile playing on either side off his lips because he knew his retort burnt me it burnt me bad the smirk melted off my face and I slammed the door to the office in a fit of rage shooting my middle finger at the piece of wood multiple times then rounding the desk mindlessly shuffling paper before slumping backwards into Eric's chair.

staring down at myself and swallowing thickly as I stripped back my shirt to reveal my pale bloated veiny abdominal region, I would probably die soon and that would put me out of my misery anywhere was better than here and/

I stopped my mental discussion staring closely at my solar plexus; when I spotted a shape which poked out of it lifting the thick skin up and stretching it even more. Sitting upright I frowned down wards at it for a long moment before my mind wondering to deeper darker scenario's what did this mean? Was I dying…RIGHT NOW and if so what would happen to me?.

I had a vision of chest burning alien parasites that made me want to puke up the taste of rotting slime and for the fraction of a second that felt so real. it was terrifying. I would die here alone in this office and 'oh god' I rushed out in a jumble of words I was actually going to die me Pamela swynford de beaufort was going to die I shivered for a few seconds taking in unneeded breathes and then after a while yes a while because it took a while I admit, I straightened myself then got up; walked hastily towards the safe;. Dialed those four digits for it to retrieve a true blood (I needed one last drink of blood if i was going to die) the safe pinged open with a hiss then I moved the stacks of money out the way. and as I was moving those stacks of money I came across a little square box, it had sookie's name on it; rescuing the object from its dark hell of a home I opened it getting the shock of my life when I did.

An engagement ring, a fucking 24 carat diamond engagement ring for sookie are you fucking kidding me he wants to marry her was this some kind of sick joke? I stood there frozen my mouth hanging slightly agape. Wow he really loves her, he wants her to be his wife not me her if he marry's her he'll turn her and then she'll be another fucking warlow (he wants her)my mind played it over and over again like a stut record, I bit my lip feeling it quiver and then realized I was going to cry, cry like a fucking baby, and right on que dark bloody tears broke free from my eyes to travel down my cheeks. I tried the ring on which kind of took the piss but to be honest it fucking suites me better than It would suit her…you cunt I thought as I wiped my eyes scrubbing any trace of crying away. I would not cry over this madness he had made his bed he could die in it. I ripped the ring free from my ring finger then

shut the shitty little box throwing it back into the safe vamp speed, aggressively blowing out of the office and moving towards the door to open it up in a tornado blur I could feel Eric and sookie's eyes on me, but at this minuet I didn't care I got behind the bar getting ready to open up the club then looked over my shoulder at the time; it read 9.30 pm and the bar opened at ten pm. Great half an hour to spare. I crouched down picking up a cardboard box which would be too heavy for a human to lift and placed in onto the black slab, and just as I was bending down to pick up the other box of O negative's when I was caught off guard by a strong cramp in my lower back that left me reeling, I gasped dropping the box I hadn't realized I'd been holding (that was my first sign of labor) and my discomfort caught Eric's attention sharp. He stared at me and I pouted stubbornly trying again with the box, it lifted easily onto the bar and after I had finished that chore I walked towards ground stopping at the door when I got another crick, this one however was different and I hesitate to say it took my breathe away because I'm a vampire and I don't need to breathe but to tell the truth it actually did.

'Pam?' I heard Eric's voice again but this time I didn't bother on turning around. I stood their hand at the door trying to compose myself and closed my eyes silently thinking you're not going to die pam stay in control, controls the key stay in control,

'what's the/

'I'm good' I rushed feeling my fangs descend as I gritted the bottom and top of my human teeth together.

'But pam/ the faerie began I cut her off sharp with flare. How dare she act like she cared about me my health or even my wellbeing she may have had Eric fooled but she didn't have me fooled I would rip her to shreds in less than seconds and/

TWINGE. OUCH!

'I SAID IM GOOD!' I snapped and with that I flew down the stairs to ground. My eyes fixing onto Eric's bedroom door and once I was close to it I almost practically kicked the door down, spotting his neatly made black satin sheeted double bed and clasping into it my body surrendering to sleep instantly.

one could say that I managed to get some sleep before the cramps, a mixture of loud blasting music along with the smell of blood and the sound of fucking coming from the other side of the door woke me up a few hours later.

But I had mostly awoken because I had realized I was soaking wet with this clear substane that resemembled water this made me sit up in the bed confused,

'what the...?' I quizzed to myself trailing off as i peeled back the black sheets, had I peed myself? Was that even remotely possible for a vampire to do seriously what the hell, I groaned softly when a wave of pain took me by surprise and curled my toes in discomfort, gripping the slippery smooth sheets tightly and changing my position so i was now sitting myself up, that was when a very sudden and horrific pain streamed through my stomach knocking me sideways and a feel of sickness ran up my mouth, my stomach was assaulting the rest of my body, and I gasped holding the sheets tighter, as another wave of pain shot through my small frame adding to it making it worse and disabling me as more fever scorched through me.

I yelled out holding below the belt with my free hand why was I No one was here to help me in my time of need,

Eric was defently gone now…I couldn't smell Sookie anymore which only symbolized his departure and I besides I didn't need him that badly anyway. He was the one that would be sorry when he returned home to find my remains slouched all over his bed (I needed him now more than ever), it was happening I was dying I could feel it and I couldn't describe it but it was this feeling this feeling of knowing that you're not going to make it, I took in a sharp breath and hugged my abdomen, but it was then I felt well heard a small pop sound and before i knew it a pool of more water poured out of my lady parts and splashed onto the bed,

I stared at that opaque liquid a scream of panic leaving my mouth at the mess, as i unraveled my arms from there place around my front.

shrilling as another wave of pain strongly gripped me in its gripped I got out my cell phone 'augh ERICCCC! GET THE FUCK HOME' I wailed

'ERIC' just for the pure comfort hoping that he would come for me out of pure instinct despite the fact we shared no bond anymore.

The disgusting sex sounds stopped at a sudden halt and I could hear a muffled females voice through the wood I let out an agonizing groan and turned onto my side trying to find some relief when the door to Eric's bedroom shot open and there stood the barmaid ginger (and my personal assistant...not that she had the brains for it) wearing only her bra. I'd told her about having sex with our vampire customers and now she was just taking the piss If I'd been in the right state of mind I would have fired her on the fucking spot.

'Pam' she said breathlessly stepping into her shitting granny pants (how embaressing) and pulling them up, she looked me over I was flushed with sweat now.

'ginger' I choked shivering she was beside me within seconds her chocolate brown eyes mounting into my big blue ones 'it it hurts it fucking hurts'

'What hurts?' she squeaked nervously

'death?... EVERYTHING' I yelled slapping her on her arm and hard she looked at me confused her hand subconsciously traveling up to the now red spot on her forearm where i had hit her. I knew that the blow would leave a sickening bruise but right now I wasn't sorry.

'well what's wrong' she blew out wiping the sweat from her forehead.

'I don't know' I said breathing hastily as the pain subsided.

'get someone...-I stressed- please ginger just get a doctor or something get Eric call him I don't care just get someone' I shivered out

'Doctor Ludwig's retired you know that' she altercated at a loss for words then came the sharp unforgiving pain in my chest I held the Centre of my chest sucking in desperate breaths that I really didn't need, and let out a soft moan of agony ginger was over in a shot taking hold of my hand and looking worried.

'Pam-Pam what's wrong' she asked dumbly again.

'I just told you I don't know' I gasped my hand shooting back to my to hold my back as my whole body convulsing front ward as the pain hit back hard with a vengeance. This time I let out a SCREAM this was getting to much the discomfort was unbearable

'what can I do?' Ginger asked soothingly

'Make this pain go away!' I yelled 'jesus Please just make it go away' I whined

'Ok…Ok I'm going to go get Eric from sookie's and-/

'DON'T LEAVE ME!' I squalled holding her arm in a crushing grip ginger looked at me with wide eyes in a mixture of shock and fear, I released my grip.

'im sorry, im sorry- I breathed- this just really hurts- go ill be fine I promise' I nodded

'are you sure Pam I can-/

'GO' I yelled cutting her shut as a knife and then rolling uncomfortably I'm sure resembling humpty dumpty or a tele tubby, ginger spared me one final glance before running out the door, the Pain was calming down a bit now but around seven minutes later. it came back much worse.

Another wave of pain struck and I rolled onto my front once again trying to find another source of relief,

It was then I felt another more wetness between my legs and not a good kind I looked between my thighs and could see blood soaking my white channel night gown, OH MY GOD I WAS WEARING FUCKING CHANNEL...CHANNEL!

'oh my god' I breathed 'Oh my god…I DON'T WANNA DIE YET' I yelled to no one remembering what i had prayed for earlier and wanting to take it back now and desperately i had asked for death and now god or whoever it was. was dishing it out to me. and not peacefully.

a few seconds later I heard stressed footsteps against the stairs and the blonde known as ginger reappeared.

'MY CAR JUST BROKE DOWN' ginger squealed in cowardess. I shook my head getting on my hands and knees 'doggy style' as the pain subsided briefly, and tried to hide my fustration. I just didn't know what to do with myself.

'it doesn't matter' I choked It doesn't matter…I pressed my lips in a thin line trying not to cry out again.

'just keep ringing him'

Ginger nodded running towards me; taking a seat next to me on the bed and placing her hand on my back rubbing in circular motions,

'go down a bit' I said sucking in breathes and letting them out ginger looked at me confused but obeyed her hand travelling down to my lower back where the first pain had been located I inhaled a shaky breath and then let it out groaning slightly when another wave of agony hit. I could hear ginger dialing digits and knew she was calling Eric and let out a blessed sigh of relief, I caught sight of my reflection in the mirror and could see ginger with the phone to her ear while she lifted the back of my dress up. What the fuck did she think she was doing…

'his not picking up' Ginger burst looking at me in a panic I growled digging my fingernails into the bed

'you need to find a way to get through to him call sookie or…('i trailed squeezing my eyes shut)just try again...'

'we might want to see to thas one firs' She said looking at me again. It was my turn to look confused.

'see to what one...what? what do you mean?' I queried then moaned out in pain when I was hit with another harsh blow,/

'Pam can you describe the pain?' ginger asked interrupting me, I looked at her reflection wide eyed and in disbelief. was she seriously asking me this now?.

'WHAT ARE YOU SERIOUSLY ASKING ME THAT?'

'Pam I need to know right now' she proceeded her eyes still fixed on. my vagina?. my butt?. whatever. I sucked in a breathe then begging to pant before I let down my pride and managed somehow to answer her question.

'IT COME'S IN WAVES- I shivered-AND GOD IT HURTS SO MUCH IT HURTS SO MUCHHHHHOOOUUUCHHH…IM DYING'I shouted that last part.

'Pam you're not dying ' ginger deadpanned out 'you're having a baby'

what do you think should i continue it please review and let me know if you like it and what you think thanks happy reading and sorry guys in this fic i decided to keep alcide alive cos I was gutted when he died in the series hope u dont mind.