For the faint of heart, I wouldn't recommend reading this at night.
Disclaimer: I do not own Doki Doki Literature Club
Sayori was just… hanging there. Lifeless, cold, unmoving, dead. I dropped to my knees in tears, knowing I didn't do as much as I should have. I could have done more, but it's all meaningless now. She's dead, and it's all my fault. Why didn't I spend time with her instead of Natsuki? After a while the tears blurred my vision until everything was indeterminable. Someone entered who I thought was her mother or father, I couldn't tell. They didn't say much, but soon after I fell asleep.I don't know how, nor do I know when, but I woke up in my own room. The image of my best friend hanging there lifeless from her ceiling was etched into my head. It was going to be impossible to get it out. I tried my hardest, which wasn't enough. Slowly, I got out of bed and got to school.
Everything was so different without Sayori. Quieter yet louder, calmer yet harsher. It was strange, I couldn't describe it with adjectives. It was as if my whole world had died. There was no one else like her. School went by the slowest it has ever been, but eventually it ended. No one really talked to me, except a few of my weeb friends. They noticed something was wrong. I told them my best friend had recently moved away. I couldn't bring myself to tell them. Talking about suicide made me sick at my stomach. Well, at least I have the Literature Club to look forward to.
I made my way up to the club room door, and swung it open. Inside, were the three girls I had grown accustomed to. Yuri and Natsuki stared at me strangely, while Monika stood up and walked to the door.
"What a pleasant surprise! What are you doing here, Anon?" I put an inquisitive look on my face. What was I doing here? I'm part of the club…
"Uh… This is the Literature Club, right? I'm not going crazy, am I?" Monika's eyes lit up as did Yuri's. Natsuki just kind of sat there in her desk.
"Yes! Indeed it is! Are you interested in joining?" Okay, what? I was already in the club dammit, just let me in. This was a bad joke.
"Haha, funny Monika. Just let me through." Now it was her turn to stare at me strangely.
"Funny? Did I make a joke?" She looked at the other two, who shrugged their shoulders in return. I stood there, mouth agape and eyes squinted.
"I am part of the Literature Club, aren't I? You're acting as if I said I had quit." Again, she looked at me strangely.
"You must be misremembering things. It's only ever been me, Yuri, and Natsuki." As Monika said their names, she pointed to them with her finger as for a brief introduction.
"Why are you doing that? I know who they are. I know all about them. Seriously what is up with you guys? All I'm trying to do is forg…" My voice trails off. It's hard to talk about. None of them speak, I guess waiting for me to finish. "I'm trying to forget Sayori, okay?" Tears are streaming down my face at this point, and Monika grabs me by the hand and pulls me into the hallway.
"Okay, first of all, I don't know who this 'Sayori' is, but I'm sorry you guys broke up. Second, although I may know you, the others don't. They probably don't understand your sense of humor." My throat is dry. She doesn't know who Sayori is? What is happening!?
"You… You don't know Sayori?" Monika shakes her head no.
"No, I can't say I do. Was she a friend of yours?" I'm shocked, to say the least. My inner monologue makes its way to my lips before I can process it.
"How the hell do you not know who Sayori is? She's…" I stop myself. "She was the Vice President of the Literature Club. She was a good friend of all four of us, and the fact you're acting as if she never existed just because she commited suicide makes me sick!" I ended up yelling at the girl in front of me. After I finished, she seemed more shocked than I had been.
"Oh my God, I'm so, so sorry to hear that, but I'm not quite sure what you mean by the rest of that. I don't know who this Sayori is, but I could ask the others." I nod; tears are streaming down my face and I slump to the floor. What is happening? Suddenly, Monika swings the door open.
"Come in." It was a simple command, so I obliged. As I walked into the room I could feel all three pairs of eyes on me. I sat next to Monika at their makeshift table. Natsuki was the first to speak.
"Okay, so either you're playing the world's biggest prank, which I would suggest joining the theater club, or you're insane." I groaned. How could she say such a thing?
"Natsuki, how could you say that? I thought we were friends. Come on you've got to remember Sayori." Natsuki stares at me.
"Friends? I barely even know you!" I felt like my heart was stabbed a thousand times with a knife. Did I really do all of that baking for nothing? Was it all worthless? Like a asylum patient, a start to smile and laugh uncontrollably. The three girls were quite surprised, perhaps even scared. I put my head in my hands and throw myself onto the floor.
"This can't be happening. This can't be happening. This can't be happening. This can't be happening. This can't be happening! This can't be happening! This can't be happening! This can't be happening!" Monika stands up, but as soon as she does, Yuri stands as well. She walks over to me and does… something. I don't know exactly what, but I calmed down instantly. I can't hear her, but it sounds like she's bragging to the others. They all three return to staring at me in silence until Natsuki says something.
"You're definitely crazy."
I get home and bang my head on my wall. Nobody remembers her. Sayori… At first I think this is some kind of cruel joke being played on me by the Gods, but I don't understand why they would do such a thing to me. I try to go to sleep, I try as best as I can, but I can't. It reaches three in the morning, and I'm still awake. Maybe a glass of warm milk… I head to the staircase separating me from the basement, and descend. I guess I was walking too slowly, because it seemed I stayed at the halfway mark forever. I walk faster. Nothing changes. Even faster. Still at the center. I look behind me, I'm at the center. I turn around and walk up the stairs. I'm stuck. It's endless. What is going on? Suddenly, a figure makes its presence known. It is outside my front window. Nearly eight feet tall, black as darkness, and two piercing white eyes. It resembles a human, but it's quite obvious that it is not.
I'm scared. I try running up the stairs, but I had forgotten that I was stuck. I look back at the being, it's in my house. I'm running, taking every other step, but I can't seem to clear the center. It begins walking. Effortlessly, it makes its way up the staircase until it reaches me. I turn around to face it. It's several stairs down, yet it still towers over me. Black smoke radiates off of it like some creepy horror movie villain. There doesn't appear to be a mouth, but it says one word, hazily.
"Reeebirrrth." It brings a finger to my forehead, and I instantly lose consciousness.
I wake up in a cold sweat. Despite my horrible job at trying to sleep, I somehow made it to sleep. That is, before I remember what happened on the staircase. I tremble, looking around for anything out of the ordinary. Nothing has changed, everything is the same. I get ready for school and get ready to go down the stairs. Shaking, I count them, to make sure I don't miss any. There's thirteen. I close my eyes and hold onto the handrail. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. When I open my eyes I think I see something very briefly, but I turn and see I have descended the staircase. I burst out the front door and into the streets. School seems to be safe.
I get to school, and the day goes by slower than it did yesterday. I remember the lifeless form of my best friend, and do my best to forget. After the day ends, I once more return to the Literature Club. I expect to be reprimanded for yesterday's actions, but it doesn't happen. Instead, the exact same thing as yesterday happens.
"What a pleasant surprise! What are you doing here, Anon?" Talk about deja vu. My head can't comprehend what's going on, and I push past her and sit in the corner trying to figure things out.
"Um, Anon, are you okay?" Monika seems worried about me, but I ignore her. Alright so the day of the festival, Sayori kills herself. I shed a tear or two at the thought. Yesterday I come back to the club, and they act like they don't know me or Sayori. Today they act like they don't remember what happened yesterday. As I'm trying to piece things together, I feel a poke on my shoulder. It's Natsuki.
"If you don't tell us what you're doing, we're going to have to call the cops, mister." Monika tries to stop her, but falls short after I get up.
"No, no, no, that's unnecessary Natsuki." She steps back in surprise, as do Yuri and Monika. I stare at them for what feels like the millionth time. "What?"
"H-How do you know my name?" Seconds later, she appears to have pieced together her own information. "I knew you were a pervert! Storming into an all girls club and admitting to stalking one of the members!" I start freaking out. Crap this isn't good. I try to calm her down as best I can.
"No! No! No! You've got it all wrong! But if I told you, you probably wouldn't believe me." Natsuki steps back and lets Monika take the lead. I try and explain as best as I can.
"So, I don't know if you'll believe me, but this happened yesterday too." They look at each other, confused, but allow me to continue. "It was with a different topic, about my friend Sayori. You guys acted like you didn't know her." Monika says what all three of them are thinking.
"Well, we don't. I've never known anyone named Sayori." A tear begins to form in my eye, and another one soon after in the opposite eye. I still can't get over it, which is natural I suppose.
"We were getting ready for the festival, I had brought the cupcakes, and I went to go check on her. She had… She… Killed herself." All three of them look depressed, and Natsuki had another feeling visible. I couldn't tell what it was, but it was probably something to do with the cupcakes.
"I'm so, so sorry about your friend, really I am, but you made it sound as if you were in the Literature Club with her. So if you don't mind, I have some questions about your story." I wipe my eyes which I hadn't realized were beginning to water as much as they did.
"Alright." They sit me at a makeshift desk with Monika across from me, Natsuki next to me, and Yuri diagonal. I tell them about Sayori, I tell them about the festival, and that's when things got weirder.
"You mean the school hosted festival?" Monika asked.
"Yeah, I believe that's the one." After looking at her fellow club members, she continued.
"That doesn't start for at least a week." Everything I had ever known crumbled away beneath me. The festival, which was supposed to have occurred two days ago, wasn't for another week at least.
"No, that's not possible. I specifically remember helping Natsuki bake the cupcakes we had prepared." Natsuki blushes as I say this, and the other two look at each other inquisitively.
"I… I would have remembered helping out someone like you." Natsuki says this all of a sudden and I turn to her. Her beautiful eyes sparkle next to me, and it makes me remember everything we had done whilst making the cupcakes. All for nothing. I rub my face with my hands. This couldn't be happening. God damn, deja vu all over again. This time, I keep my cool. Instead of freaking out, I stand up.
"I'm sorry for bothering all of you. I'm sure you need to get back to your club activities. I'll leave you to that." They chuckle nervously.
"You see, the thing is, we don't actually have enough members to be considered an actual club. We need four, and we only have three." Memories of Sayori flood into my mind. God, why now? I try holding in the tears, of which I do a bad job. "So, I was actually wondering, Anon, if you would like to join?" Natsuki looks like she would object Monika's decision, Yuri just looks anxious, and I look confused.
"Even after all that I've just admitted, you don't think I'm crazy, and would rather me join the club still?" With a smile, Monika corrects me.
"Ah ah ah, remember, not technically a club yet." I put on a smile, but deep down all I can think of is Sayori. This would have made her happy, making friends. After I think about it for a few minutes, a sigh.
"Sure. I'll join your club." The three of them look so excited, well Natsuki immediately switched to annoyance but that's besides the point. Perhaps I can finally rest easy knowing that this is what Sayori would have wanted.
I get home. All is quiet. I get ready for bed. Nothing is making a sound. Memories of the night before frighten me. Was it a dream? Or did that actually happen? I try to forget it. It's hard. I take a few pills to help me go to sleep, and I'm knocked out within minutes.
I'm awoken by a strong presence in the room. The shadow creature with deathly white eyes is standing at the end of my bed. I try to scream, but no sound escapes my lips. I'm mute. The figure reaches out with one arm, but stops short of touching me.
"Learrrn. Reeebirrrth." Frankly, I'm scared to hell. I don't know what is happening, but as soon as it touches me, I fall asleep.
Once more, I wake up in my bed. I can only assume that it's going to be another repeat of yesterday. I don't know why I'm stuck, but I am. I get out of bed, checking every nook and cranny in paranoia. However, nothing happens when I do check. It's just what it's supposed to be. Nervously, I walk to the front door. The stairs still work like stairs, and I head out the door.
School lasts longer than I would have liked, it seems to get longer every day, and I make my way to the Literature Club. Once more, I'm greeted with the same greeting as the last two days.
"What a pleasant surprise! What are you doing here, Anon?" With a smile, I respond.
"I'd like to join the Literature Club." Needless to say, Natsuki and Yuri are a bit shocked, but Monika is just happy.
"Alright! That's four members! I'll be right back to verify our club. You three introduce yourselves." I'm left with Natsuki and Yuri, so I pull up a fourth chair to their makeshift table and introduce myself.
"Hi, as you may know now, I'm Anon." I reach out to shake their hands. Yuri looks away nervously, and Natsuki sits there with her arms across her chest. With a nervous look on my face, I take my hand away.
"I'm Natsuki. This is Yuri. She's a bit shy, so she probably couldn't introduce herself even if she wanted." Yuri seems heartbroken for a moment, but thinks it over in her head. We don't really talk much, but it doesn't matter as Monika is back soon after.
"Alright! Did you guys introduce yourselves?" I sit there and rub against the back of my head.
"Uh, sort of. I got their names." Monika sighed and sat next to me. She turned to look at me, smiling all the while.
"So, Anon, what got you interested in the Literature Club?" Well, I couldn't say that my dead friend who you guys don't remember would have wanted me to join, so I have to think of something else.
"I don't really know, seemed interesting, I guess." As soon as I say this, Natsuki says a quick sentence.
"I would not have taken you for the literature type." I laugh it off. Hell, I'm not the literature type, all I've ever read is manga. Monika picks up where she left off.
"Oh, what kind of books do you read?" Well crap again. Should I say manga? I know Natsuki only reads manga, but just in case, I throw a lie in there as well.
"Mainly manga, but I do read light novels and other things sometimes. They can be quite fun." I don't read light novels all that often, but whatever. As usual, Natsuki's head perks up.
"D-Did you say manga?" I nod with a smile. This makes her smile, and she looks as if she wants to go get something, but she stays seated. "I'll… I'll wait until later." I know exactly what she wants to show me, so I smile. Turning back to Monika, she's turned toward the other two girls in the room.
"Well how about you two tell Anon here what you like to read, maybe that'll help build friendships." Monika says this as sweetly as ever, and although Yuri looks a bit nervous, Natsuki looks quite pleased. "Yuri, you start." Yuri is taken aback by this, and begins to start, however gets up.
"I'm… I'm going to go make some tea, alright?" I smile as she walks off, not saying a word. Monika lets out a nervous laugh and looks at Natsuki.
"Alright, Natsuki, you start." Natsuki runs off to the closet and comes back with a few books.
"You said you like manga, right?" I can already tell where this is going, so I nod. She flashes her beautiful smile. "Awesome! Here, it's called Parfait Girls, have you heard of it?" Oh the irony. Or at least, I think it's irony.
"Yeah, I read at least the first volume not too long ago." In all honesty I had forgotten which novel we had left off on. There were more… pressing matters to attend to. Natsuki begins talking about the rest of her manga, and I sit and listen. I had heard of some of the titles, but there were still some that I didn't recognize. Like for example, "The Silver Wolf's Reincarnation"... Doesn't seem like something I'd read but maybe I'm just judging a book by its cover. Eventually, Yuri comes back with her tea, and gives each of us a cup. I finish talking to Natsuki, who got really into it, and turn to face Yuri.
"So, what kind of books do you like, Yuri?" She blushes and turns away.
"Oh… W-Well. My favorites are usually novels that build deep and complex fantasy worlds. The level of creativity and craftsmanship behind them is amazing to me. And telling a good story in such a foreign world is equally impressive. But you know, I like a lot of things. Stories with deep psychological elements usually immerse me as well. Isn't it amazing how a writer can so deliberately take advantage of your own lack of imagination to completely throw you for a loop? Anyway, I've been reading a lot of horror lately." I've heard this all before, but it's nice to hear it again. Monika looks a bit shocked, but that's about it.
"Really? I wouldn't have expected that, Yuri. For someone as gentle as you."
"I guess you could say that. But if a story makes me think, or takes me to another world, then I really can't put it down. Surreal horror is often very successful at changing the way you look at the world, if only for a brief moment." I place my head on my hand, I've heard this all before, but I'd rather not ruin my theory. Natsuki complains about horror, Yuri asks why, Natsuki says nevermind, and Monika clarifies Natsuki's style.
"That's right, you usually like to write about cute things, don't you, Natsuki?" The shorter girl becomes flustered, and goes back and forth with Monika.
"W-What? What gives you that idea?"
"You left a piece of scrap paper behind during last club meeting. It looked like you were working on a poem called-"
"Don't say it out loud! And give that back!"
"Fine, fine~" I almost wait for Sayori to say that Natsuki is cute, but it never comes. A silence almost fills the room, but I decide to step in to Sayori's place. With a chuckle and a smile, I speak.
"It sounds like everything you do is cute, Natsuki. The cupcakes, writing your own poems." She gets flustered and angry, however, I stop her whining soon after. "Hey, it's not like I said it was a bad thing." She gets flustered even more, and turns away. Monika jumps a little in her chair, pointing her finger upwards.
"Hey! I know what we could do. We could each write poems, and share them with each other. That way, Natsuki doesn't feel embarrassed and we can all learn about each other." I wasn't sure if she was calling out Natsuki directly, but that didn't matter. After everyone agreed, the club was dismissed, and I headed home. Today was so much fun to get back with the fo-... three of them, that I had almost completely forgotten about the horrors at home.
Time went by ever so slowly. Five minutes felt like five hours, ticking by at a snail's pace. I wait, and wait, and wait. It's midnight now. Nothing has happened. I'm scared to go to sleep, but I'm so tired. I finally fall asleep. I wake up in the middle of the night. The shadow creature is there, but its eyes are less piercing, its shadow is lighter, but it's standing at the end of my bed. I try my best not to feel fear, however, when a random being is standing right next to you, head easily touching your ceiling, you can't help but be afraid. It doesn't speak, in fact, it doesn't do anything. It stands and I lay for a good five minutes before it finally does something. It's shaky and hollow voice fills my ears.
"Youuu learrrnedd." That was more than enough confirmation to secure what I had thought, and like before, it touches me and I'm knocked unconscious.
I wake up once more, in my room. Nothing has seemed to change, but there's one way to find out. I get ready for school, still checking around to see if that shadow beast lingers around. After I get done, I head off to school. The school day is faster than yesterday, but I have so much on my mind that it's still slow. I nervously walk to the club room, and stand in front of the door for a few minutes. I open the door, to see the three faces I'm so familiar with.
"Welcome back, Anon. We thought you weren't going to show up." Monika's voice fills my ears. I've never been more relieved and distressed in my life. Finally, I've broken from that horrid cycle, but what I've thought has been more than confirmed. That shadow creature is containing me within this cycle, and controls what I do. I don't know why, nor do I know how, but it's doing it nonetheless. To add on top of that, it only restarts it, to what extent I still have to find out, when I mention Sayori or my past life to anyone in this life. This is torture. Remembering things that never actually happened. Reliving days until I get it right. Why is this happening to me? Why did Sayori have to die? What is happening?
I truly do not understand what is going on, and neither do you.
The MC might seem out of character, I wrote this and watched Markiplier play the game soon after and I don't do enough justice for the distraught the MC feels. He cries a fuck ton but that's about it. Anyway, thanks for reading!