Kitsune Foxfire here with the story I told y'all about that I am working on with a friend...I won the coin toss, so it's under my name. Sorry WeevilOne (here is her with the Disclaimer of dooooooom)

Disclaimer: First off, we don't own Naruto or Sasuke or any of the other Naruto characters. They belong to Kishimoto. Also, we don't actually watch "What Not to Wear". So... umm... yeah... We're also not responsible for any subsequent nosebleeds; shits and giggles on the other hand, we'll claim full responsibility for. At least the giggles. We don't really want the shits...not sure how that would work anyway...

On a side note, anyone who would like to illustrate any part of his story will be offered cookies and hugged profusely.

WeevilOne, over and out.

Dear Kage,

We here at TLC (11) Elemental Nations are requesting your assistance for a dangerous S-rank mission. We have run out of civilians brave enough to face the fire of our top fashion programming. This has caused a serious cut in ratings, not to mention the loss of a few good shows. We need you to send candid videos of all your ninja, and then subsequently send all the fashion challenged ninja we notify you of. Enclosed is the first installment of our payment for this mission, as we are sure you will accept. For every Ninja you send us, we will pay the same amount as this first check.

Sincerely,

Jade and Amethyst

Orochimaru and Sasuke walk into the studio. Sasuke is muttering about the things he goes through just to get stronger while Orochimaru ushers him in talking about the joys of fashion. Orochimaru gets hustled off to the waiting area while Sasuke is escorted to the main studio where he is greeted by the hosts.

"Weeeelcome to What Not to Wear – Ninja Edition!!! This is the show where our fashion gurus take the worst dressed and make them the best dressed… or at least presentable? Just because you're a ninja and hide in the shadows doesn't give you an excuse to be ugly. Today the famous A and B will assist the traitorous Uchiha Sasuke!!!"

Sasuke crosses his arms and glares. "Humph."

"Okay then, looks like we've gotten off to a good start." Jade spins Sasuke around while Amethyst pulls out a large scroll and proceeds to leap in the air while twirling the scroll. Sasuke's wardrobe scatters itself around the three. The stagehands run to grab the clothing and hang it all up on the conveniently placed clothing rack.

Sasuke turns to glare at Amethyst. "You. Have. Wrinkled. My. Clothing."

Jade shakes her head. "You know, it's all probably going to end up in the trash anyway."

Amethyst cowers in fear as Sasuke activates the Sharingan.

"For, dry red eyes, use clear eye!" Jade proclaims, handing him a pair of sunglasses. "Or just use shades. You're going for the whole goth vampire thing anyhow, you can even wear them inside."

"Back to the clothing," Amethyst says, now free from the Sharingan death-glare. "First off, What Is With The BUTT BOW?!?! Are you too cheap to afford a belt? It looks awful. I mean, it's big and purple, and UPSIDE DOWN. How do you even tie a bow upside down?"

Amethyst reaches over and yanks the bow off of Sasuke causing two things to happen. First, Sasuke goes spinning off as the bow unravels in Amethyst's hand. When he stops spinning, facing the camera, his (awful) pants slide down. This reveals his boxers to be covered in foxes holding Uchiha fans.

"Well… that's awkward…" Amethyst coughs.

"Can we get Bobby a tissue? Poor guy's got a noise bleed." Jade sighs as she tries to wipe the grin off her face. "Love the fact your holding up your MC hammer pants. Want to grab your groin and shout 'can't touch this' for us?" She tisks, "We left the 80's behind, kiddo. Hell, were you even alive for that? Umbrella pants went the way of bellbottoms and pleather."

"It's not MC hammer pants," Sasuke snapped, turning red, "they're Punk pants."

"Those are not punk pants. First, you're not a punk. Or a skater. Second, they are COTTON. NOT denim." She reaches out and feels the fabric, "correction, they're nylon umbrella pants." She rips them off. "Bobby, ya like the view?"

Amethyst pulls Sasuke to the side and Jade gets a carton of tissues for the cameraman.

"You know, you really should stop shopping for ALL of your clothing at the Goodwill. Granted you can find some really neat things there, but that shirt (is it actually a shirt?) is not one of those things. I mean, it's not even in your size. It's far too big, and it's always hanging open. Maybe some people think showing a bit of chest is sexy, but not when it looks like your shirt's falling off. And do you really want to attract those shallow kinds of girls to resurrect the Uchiha clan?"

"Bud I like the thirt…" Bobby snuffles through the tissues.

"Yes, Bobby, we ALL know you like the shirt. Are you getting blood all over the camera again? Ahh, Bobby…"

The hosts toss Sasuke's clothing in the giant trash barrel that they've lovingly decorated with a giant purple bow and seals to make Sasuke feel at home.

"Well, that just about wraps it up will the clooothing. Now on to the accessories!" Jade exclaims. "Let's see let's see…huh, looks like he only has one accessory." She holds up his sword. "And what an accessory!" Jade grins, nudging her co-host, "I think he might be compensating for something. Personally, I think a mustang convertible would have gotten the point across just as well…. and you still go through airports." Shaking her head she continued, "Freud would have a field day with you, so would Jung, Poor little boy, don't feel like a man?"

Grinding his teeth in a rage, Sasuke holds the weapon above his head and unsheathes it, tossing the hilt to the side and brandishing the blade. Far from being scared, the hosts clapped.

"I didn't think he could do that. How is that even possible, the blade is longer then he is!"

"Bravo! Bravo! But onto the hair." Amethyst continued. "You know, as cute as they may be, ducks are not good models for hair styles. Especially not their back ends."

"Looks like a curly tail mallard cross," Jade piped in helpfully.

"Thank you, Jade… Anyway, we'll never say this again, but in this case please copy Naruto's hair."

"Naruto's here?" Sasuke said, visibly perking up and looking around expectantly (still in his fox/Uchiha boxers).

"Yes, yes, Naruto's here. Now go to the blue room and wait there to get your makeover."

Sasuke walks off stage muttering about how he doesn't want to be made over, and wondering where Naruto is.

"Speaking of Naruto, who is waiting with the rest of Team Kakashi in the wing, stay tuned after the commercial to watch the rest of Team 7 in our 24 hour special of What Not to Wear – Ninja Edition!!!"

Kitsune again, Just to let you all know, sorry for the short chapters. We were going to do each chapter as a team, BUT...well, we do one person a week, and it would be like a moth between chapters, IF nothing came up. So deal with it. Bitch and moan all you want, I don't care, and I won't tell WeevilOne about it, cause she'd be all, "oh my". So faster updates! shorter chapters.