Miranda sat at her computer and sighed. This was the first rare minutes of spare time she'd managed to grab for herself in two days and truthfully, she was shattered. Not that spending time with the girls was something that she resented. From the second tiny ginger crowns were placed on her chest and those strong lungs declared themselves known she loved the bones of them. Her then husband Greg on the other hand…. Well, was he really ever more than a friend to her? She doubted that entirely. No, if she was honestly truthful it was actually the female form that did it for her. Not that she felt like she could really say that out loud, or really give those thoughts the time of day. She was who she was and at the ripe age of 52 she should probably just have to deal with her lot in life. Recently divorced and expectant heterosexual.

Staring at the newly powered up laptop she decided to have a sneaky look at the website "Runway's secrets." She had known that one of the members in the IT department had set up a website for employee's past and present to air their snipes, whinges and general gossip on the website in a "safe space" most did it anonymously. Some were funny, some were sack-worthy, most were interesting enough for Miranda to continue to lurk. She knew her employees would immediately remove such a website should they discover that their Editor in Chief had such knowledge of its existence. But as Miranda liked to pride herself, she knew everything about Runway. Of course she knew about this.

She had intended to quietly peruse the posts before getting ready for bed. Knowing most of them would be complaints about her behaviour, she wasn't blind or stupid. Unbeknown to her employees though she often attempted to change her behaviours depending on what complaints she received. Sadly though she found it very hard to change her stripes, and new complaints would then spring up. The most recent post though however caught her attention immediately and she found herself unable to simply move on to the next one.

Dear "Runway's Secret"

I have a perfect life, my job is both fast-paced and interesting. Our silver haired leader keeps me on my toes enough for me to actually enjoy what I do. My friends are a close knit group around me, my family back home are wonderful we're close my brother is a chef who likes to get us to try his cooking my mother's a psychiatrist and my father a lawyer.

So why is it that I still feel so empty? I feel like I ride a roller-coaster, some days I feel like I'm high up in the sky my work is going well (I manage to get Miranda to smile, high praise) and I'm on top of the world. Others however I can't seem to do anything right and I feel like I'm all alone. Despite everything those around me don't know that I hold a secret close to my heart.

Truth is Runway, I'm gay. Sadly I also seem to have developed an unimaginable crush on someone so far out of my league I can't bare to think about it. Not only that but she's straight. I can't let her know guys, but I also can't help smiling when she's in the room I just feel a glow when she's around me. My immediate colleagues would never suspect I liked girls, having met me when I was seeing my previous partner (I was confused). I don't know what to do.

Signing off now,

Blue.

Miranda couldn't believe it, someone, somewhere within her company was feeling like she felt. Some days she felt herself riding high with the joys of the job that she did. Miranda really, truly loved the bones of fashion and was thrilled daily by what it could bring. But she also felt the immense pressure of being the figurehead of the magazine and the need to be the person that she was demanded to be.

Something in the message made Miranda want to reply. She wasn't sure what, but the urge to reply to "Blue" was so strong that she sat down and clicked "reply" to send an email in reply to this anonymous person.

Dear Blue,

I know that you may not know me but I want you to know that you're not alone in how you feel. I too have always preferred the company of woman and it's only until recently that I have even been able to admit that to myself let alone out load. As for being attracted to somebody I too have found myself smiling at a certain person. She is so far out of my league though that I am yet to attempt to talk to her in anything but a professional manner as I fear she would see through my outward appearance and find nothing but faults.

I hope you're alright Blue, maybe I will see you around in work you never know we might know each other.

Look after yourself

Miranda paused…. What should she sign herself off as? She looked around pondering before catching herself in the mirror, well more specifically her hair.

Snow.

That should do it, Blue would just assume that she enjoyed the cold weather that they were having at the moment. That's if the mysterious Blue actually received the email of course.

Deciding to get on with her day she got up from her computer to hop into the shower for the end of her night after work. She tried to keep Blue from her mind as she went about her nightly rituals before attempting to get some sleep. She purposively refused to check her phone notifications to ensure that she would be anxiety free.

This of course was shot to hell the second an email was received by her phone.

It was from Emily discussing something to do with her schedule….. She sighed, oh well I guess not. Putting her head on the pillow she fell into a dreamless sleep.

Once she awoke she realised that her phone had received a notification during the night.

Hello Snow!

It's nice to hear from someone similar to myself. Should you really be up at so late an hour? If Miranda knew anything of that she'd suggest that you wouldn't be able to pull your weight after!

Hope you're ready for the day ahead, heard the weathers going to be getting worse. I don't look forward to treading out there.

Thank you for your email, it meant a lot. Wonder if we know each other at work, what do you think?

Blue.

Miranda smiled, happy to have received the reply she had secretly been waiting for. She considered what she should write in reply as she got ready for the day….