TITLE: YIN AND YANG
Summary: Taylor McKessie and Chad Danforth; two opposing and, at the same time, complementary aspects of any one phenomenon. Oneshot.
Author's Note: This can be read alone as a Chad/Taylor one shot; but if you've read Play It My Way then it also is a companion piece to bolster the Chad/Taylor B Plot storyline. A few of the elements of this story have been covered from the Troy/Gabriella perspective within Play It My Way. It also becomes important to providing context for the Chad/Taylor plot line within my sequel to Play It My Way, being Someday.
Disclaimer: I own nothing HSM related and I give acknowledgement to Dawson's Creek for inspiring a part of the story... any DC fans, tell me if you know what I stole... I mean borrowed. :-)
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Chad was sitting in his bedroom, staring blankly at the assignment sheet in front of him. He was by no means a complete idiot - however math was simply not his forte. He might give the impression that he didn't care about school or his grades. But it was merely a guise, a mask. In reality, he cared very much. Not that he got straight A's. But he wanted to go to college. He wanted to make something of himself. He didn't enjoy failure - it was a part of his competitive nature. And on a basic level - a C average was necessary to compete in extra curricular sporting activities. The jumble of letters and numbers on the page was not making him feel particularly confident that he could maintain such an average.
He dialled a number which was becoming increasingly frequently dialled.
"Taylor, have I ever told you how beautiful you are?" Chad asked.
"Skip the flattery. What do you want, lunkhead?"
"Algebra. I need help."
"Is this all I am to you? A tutor?" Taylor's tone was joking but Chad sensed the hint of seriousness.
"No," he responded very seriously. "You know very well that you mean a lot more to me than just being a tutor. Which is why I feel like I can come to you for help. Because I don't like asking people for help."
Taylor softened, knowing the truth to his statement. "What do you need help with?"
Chad bit his lip. "Um... the part with the numbers and letters."
Taylor sighed, and closed her English novel. This could take a while.
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Taylor slid into the cafeteria table beside Gabriella.
"Okay, so we're meeting after school usual time," Taylor declared. "But Jeremy will be late."
Gabriella nodded. "That's fine."
"Hey Taylor, do you want some ABC gum?" Chad asked from across the table, opening his mouth wide.
Taylor rolled her eyes. "How OLD are you Chad? I learnt that joke in elementary school."
"I think Troy taught it to me in preschool actually."
"Typical."
"What is typical?"
"That you haven't moved on from something you learnt in preschool."
"You'd better not be such a bitch to me or I might retaliate and purposely muck up our drama performance next week."
"You wouldn't da..." Taylor trailed off, having a sudden realisation.
"What's wrong?"
"Oh my God, I didn't do the reading!" Taylor exclaimed, clearly distraught.
"What reading?" Troy asked.
"For drama!! Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God..."
"Tay, calm down," Gabriella said soothingly. "It's not the end of the world."
"You don't understand. This isn't just about one reading. Darbus will call on me. I won't know the answer, and I'll look like a moron. She will think I'm a moron. She will tell the rest of the faculty that I'm a moron. Next thing you know, I'll be put in the special education unit."
Troy snorted. "You probably won't even get called on. Chill."
"And if you are called on, just do what I do. Say 'pass'," Chad supplied.
"Taylor McKessie does NOT say pass," Taylor said haughtily. She turned to Gabriella. "Do you have your textbook on you?"
"Sorry, it's in my locker."
"Shit. Shit shit shit. I have to go get it and read it now!
The bell rang.
"No can do," Chad declared. "PASS. I highly recommend it. "
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It is a rule of life that when you desperately want something to NOT happen - it will happen. Taylor sat quietly throughout the theory part of drama class, praying Miss Darbus would skip going over the homework assignment. No can do. Of course she had dedicated a whole fifteen minute block to discussing the reading. Of course she was calling on random people. Taylor shrunk down into her seat, telling herself that if she hoped hard enough that she would appear to be invisible, that she would be invisible.
"And finally, what does everything think about the contrast of the theme of last night's reading, and the theme of our play? Miss McKessie? Do you have an opinion on this matter?"
Taylor McKessie always had an opinion.
Until now.
She cleared her throat. "Well... umm... the theme. Of the reading. Umm... is... well..."
She sighed.
"Pass."
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"Why didn't you do the reading, anyway?" Gabriella asked curiously. It was unlike Taylor to not complete any piece of assigned homework, much the less to just completely forget it existed.
"I was on the phone and got distracted," Taylor said vaguely.
Gabriella smiled knowingly. "Oh."
"Someone needed help with his algebra."
"Algebra hey? That's what you guys talk about, I'm sure," Gabriella remarked.
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Taylor McKessie liked structure. She liked logic. She liked order. Taylor's closet was organised according to type of article; and then in colour coordinated fashion. She would go to a meeting of the chemistry club or scholastic decathlon team; come home; eat dinner; do her home work diligently. She allowed herself to watch the OC, but that day her lunch period was dedicated to get ahead with her evening homework.
But there had always been something missing. She hadn't even realised something was missing until recently.
But now - Taylor felt alive.
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Chad Danforth was the personification of calamity. His hair was crazy. His bedroom looked like a bomb had gone off then a tornado had swept through. He did what he liked, when he liked. No regrets.
He hadn't even realised that he felt out of control until recently. Suddenly, it was clear that he lacked direction, he lacked purpose. He felt so little drive for anything other than basketball and fun.
There was more to Chad Danforth than basketball and fun.
She saw that.
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Benji swung the bat and hit a homerun. As he strolled around the park, he was looking up at his friends in the stands, they were cheering. His girlfriend was blowing kisses. His parents were smiling proudly.
Two minutes later, it was Chad's turn up at bat. He stared at the pitcher. The catcher behind him was making snide remarks, trying to distract him. It wouldn't work. Chad hit his very own home run.
Chad could have crawled around the diamond if he had felt like it. Taken his time to soak in the atmosphre, to celebrate his home run which put the Wildcats in the lead. But the cheers from the crowd were somewhat hollow. A bunch of Wildcats, sure, but did they really care? Chad couldn't see his best friends in the stands. Sure, Troy was busy. Physiotherapy, blah blah. And Jason and Zeke tended to follow Troy's lead, so they weren't present either. And of course Chad's family weren't present. All his parents ever did was work. 'Money doesn't grow on trees' was Mrs Danforth's favourite phrase.
Chad looked into the crowd, and among the hollow Wildcat supporters, there was one smiling face that mattered. She didn't even like baseball. She would sit there clutching a book. But he knew that the moment he stepped up to bat, without fail, her attention left the book and her eyes were on him.
He held his head eye, fist pumping as he ran around the diamond.
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Chad Danforth was petrified. Petrified to let her in. Petrified to let himself truly feel for somone. Relationships meant committment, they meant he was to be RELIED upon. Chad didn't think he was the type, with his world of chaos and uncertainty, to be relied upon.
Taylor McKessie was petrified. Petrified to let him him. Petrified of relinquishing control, relinquishing independence. Relationships meant breaking down barriers. Sharing. Trust. Taylor didn't think she was the kind of girl who could allow someone in, to rely upon someone. She relied upon herself and herself only.
The changes had been gradual. The admit real, true feeling - was to succumb to the changes. To embrace them wholly.
Internally, they both knew they were different people with different perspectives on life, on the people around them. But to admit they had feeling was an outward declaration to the world.
'There is more to me than sport and random crazy fun'
'There is more to be than equations and logic and practicality'
It was an outward declaration that was petrifying.
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Of course she had decided to attend the Spring Fling. Even when she had protested that it wasn't her scene - she'd found herself in a social circle which was pro school events. Which meant that attending a school dance was now something that she would have to do.
Taylor found herself standing by the punch bowl. She pretended that the reason she had always been a little skeptical of school dances was because she generally didn't like organised school activity and the associated social hierarchy.
But the truth was that she feared this exact moment. The moment when it was so blatantly magnified that everyone else had a place at these events. Gabriella was emersed in the world of Troy; Kelsi was over with the DJ, scanning the music list; Martha was busting a move on the dance floor.
And here she was. Alone.
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Chad was hanging out with some of the senior Wildcats. Ironically, they were just a few months from graduating high school and entering the real world - and were pissing themselves laughing over a fart joke. Chad felt somewhat bored, and was scanning the room. He spotted Taylor by the punch bowl, looking rather uncomfortable.
Immediately he abandoned the bleachers, heading straight over to her. She was facing the other way, pretending to read a plaque on the wall, when he tapped her on the shoulder. She spun around, a smile forming on her face seeing that it was him.
"Dance with me?" Chad requested, holding out his hand.
Taylor accepted it shyly, and allowed him to lead her onto the dance floor. The music changed, the fast paced beat of the latest Rihanna release ending and a ballad playing. Their slow movement in time was natural; her head resting on his shoulder; his hand stroking the back of her hair.
There was a reason why Taylor didn't come to these events. She wasn't allowed to feel as though she belonged.
"Can I cut in?" a strong, flirtatious voice asked from behind.
Taylor looked up and saw Kayla, one of the gorgeous, leggy cheerleaders - one of Chad's ex girlfriends. She let go of Chad immediately, a reflex.
Chad was just about to say, "Actually, I'm dancing with Taylor, maybe later" when Taylor said softly, "he's all yours."
Chad watched as Taylor fled the room. He barely heard Kayla's flirtatious, "you're looking sexy tonight." He abandoned her on the dance floor, running after Taylor. Glancing up and down the corridors, he wasn't sure what direction she would have gone in. He paused. If I was Taylor McKessie and I had fled the room, where would I go?
He headed for the chemistry lab. And there she was, sitting in the place she sat in class, staring at the blackboard. He stood at the door, watching her.
"See, this is where I belong," Taylor said, her voice distant.
Chad shook his head, closing the door behind him. "You just ran away from me. I would like to finish our dance. Right here, right now."
"We have no music," she said softly.
Chad pulled out his cell phone, flicking through the few MP3s he had stored. "Improvisation."
He held out his hand again, as their bodies gravitated together to reform the natural dance formation.
"You belong wherever you want to belong," Chad said softly.
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Taylor McKessie had dreamed about this day. A day where she could stand tall and proud of her academic achievements. Although surrounded by competition, there was a common bond between all those who competed in such events. The bond of achievement. And the burden of the unpopularity which, for many of them, was synonymous with achievement. But finally, among foe - they were among friends.
Nevertheless, there was something missing. When Taylor envisaged this day, she'd thought about being able to stand tall and proud - and to have someone proud to be there with her. The rest of her team had that. She did not.
Gabriella was doing her best to be not only her teammate, but her best friend, her mother and also her sister. Constantly saying that without Taylor's dedication and perserverence, they wouldn't be there.
Somehow, it just wasn't the same.
On Friday night, opening night, the networking event, Gabriella was introducing Taylor around the room. Evidently Gabriella - with her multiple previous schools and years of experience in the top levels of various academic competitions - knew a lot of people present. Taylor's heart wasn't in it. She shook hands politely, made small talk about school subjects and the ACTs and plans for college applications the following year.
A sudden squeal from her best friend (slash mother slash sister) and her mad dash across the room alerted Taylor. However it wasn't the passionately embracing Troy and Gabriella that caught Taylor's eye.
Instead, it was the afro headed boy behind the embracing couple that Taylor was interested in. Chad was staring directly at her, a small smile upon his face. They traversed the room, meeting in the middle.
"Taylor McKessie's number 1 fan at your service," Chad declared.
Taylor's bottom lip quivered slightly as she struggled to repress her tears. But they weren't tears of sadness. They were tears of gratitude. She threw her arms around him, clinging to him tightly.
"Thank you," she whispered.
They pulled apart, but remained connected, hands adjoined and eyes not leaving the other.
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The awards ceremony concluded. The winning team was being photographed. People were laughing, hugging, crying, kissing.
Taylor fled the room. She sat on the grass outside, eyes squeezed tightly shut, clutching her little individual second place trophy.
Second place.
She sensed the familiar presence who sat down beside her; she felt the warm arm that wrapped around her shoulder consolingly.
"I must seem like such an ungracious moron," Taylor said softly. "I should be very happy with second place."
"Sometimes it's harder being second best than being among the rest of the pack," Chad said.
She opened her eyes, looking at him carefully. "We talking about you or me here?"
Chad grinned. "You. But I am calling upon personal experience in order to dish out these pearls of wisdom."
They were quiet for a moment.
"I really, really wanted this," Taylor whispered. "Everyone wants it, obviously. But... I REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted it."
"I know," Chad said simply. It was all he could say.
"I wish something had gone wrong. Then I could know why it didn't happen. But... but we did everything we could. I did everything I could. And... and it just wasn't good enough. What if... what do you do when your best isn't good enough?"
Gazing into Chad's eyes, Taylor felt spark, she felt emotion.
Grasping onto Taylor's hand, Chad felt safe, he felt in control, he felt worthy.
As lips connected for a short, chaste kiss - everything was okay.
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Author's note - This just really randomly came to me, it wasn't like I decided to write a CxT one shot and then thought hmm okay what do I write. Now, I'm kinda sketchy about it and thinking I shouldn't post it. But I have been promising it and I figure constructive criticism can only make me a better author. So if you have any commentary about this, positive, negative, whatever, let me know. If anyone who is a somewhat prolific Chaylor writer reads this, I'd really love your opinion because I've never really attempted to write anything CxT centric and as I said, it just came to me so I'd like to know whether my gut instincts are completely retarded.
For readers of PIMW, the Someday preview will be put up within PIMW very soon.
Review? xo