He always was jealous of Rukia.
Why did she suddenly get a family? She went from only having Renji to living in the Kuichiki Estate. And he rarely got to see her after she joined the 13th Division. It was frustrating. He blamed Byakuya for it all... for all, he was lonely. He had the division, of course, but it didn't mean anything, because he didn't feel CLOSE to anyone. Rukia was busy herself, and even with the trial, and her being released, he didn't have as much time as he had wanted.
Renji was lonely. And he hated every waking moment of it.
Waking up this morning, groaning lightly. Another dream. Hand on his forehead. Climbing off the futon, he stretched a bit. The sun just starting to rise. He walked to the closet, and flipped through his clothing. Shinigami uniforms... Oh, good, a clean one. Taking it out, along with grabbing his towel, he started to leave. He needed to do laundry tonight.
Grabbing his robe from the front, he tied it up, as he headed down to the lieutenant baths. Yawning, stretching his arms up again, as he opened the door.
Empty this early in the morning, huh? That seemed weird. Kira was usually in here. Removing his robe, followed closely behind by his boxers, he started to slip in. A heavy sigh blew from his lips.
Why was he still so jealous of Rukia anyways? Wiping his forehead with a cold towel. A family? Feh. Who needed one of those anyways?
...But he wanted one. No matter how much he argued with himself. He could fight and bitch with himself all he wanted, but it didn't change how he thought. Leaning on the side of the bath, he looked forward to the wall. Trying not to shut his eyes at the thoughts. Thinking too hard on this was good for no one. Who spent hours thinking about wanting a family? Most people had one, so it wasn't like they had anything to think about.
"Grah!" Diving under the water for a moment. Washing away his thoughts, as he sat at the bottom. Shutting his eyes, he needed to stop letting this consume him. He... THEY as the Soul Society, had far more important things going on.
Swimming to the surface, he gasped for air. All washed up now, he climbed out of the baths, wrapping the towel around his waist. Looking around, he walked towards a steam room, something Mayuri installed. Why, no one wanted to ask. Seriously. Asking that question was aiming to have him question things about you. Maybe even experiment on you.
No. Thank. You.
As he lounged back in the steam room, he decided to think about the people in his life. And the first person to come to mind was Ichigo. He was a constant memory. From the first time they battled, to the last time they fought. Arguing. Friends, of course, and good friends. Thinking back quietly on all the times they spent together really made him think. As he stretched out, yawning.
There he was. Thinking on it again. Ugh. Leaving the steam room with the towel wrapped around his waist, he walked, grabbing his shinigami uniform, and changed. Stretching his arms first, he brushed off any extra dust.
After which, he started to head towards the 6th division, he paused for a moment. Oh, good, Hinamori was out of the ward. A bit worried over her condition. She seemed to be talking to a friend. Walking over, he noticed something immediately. Something that was just going to eat him inside.
"Six months today... Oh, hello Vice Captain Abarai!" She smiled, and pretended to bow. "How are you today?" Hinamori also bowed quickly. "Abarai! So good to see you again." Looking at her friend again.
Renji was a bit speechless. There he was. Wanting a family. And someone else was getting the one he wanted. She was currently pregnant. And he was not. Looking down at himself. "Hello, Hinamori. I would like to meet your friend some time, but I'm late." Waving goodbye, he disappeared back into the crowd of Shinigamis.
Oh, he was frustrated! Mad! Infuriated!
Walking into the 6th Division, he slammed the door, and plopped down at his desk. Why the hell was he getting so frustrated? Angry? Why did he act like this in the first place?
...Because everyone else was starting to have a family.
Everyone but himself.
Hinamori had a child, raising it as a single mother. Izuru was as well. Both from the captains that had defected.
Ukitake and Kyouraku had adopted Hitsugaya against his will, naturally. And somehow, Hitsugaya himself was pregnant. No one yet figured out how or why. He didn't say who the father was, and if anyone brought it up, a sword went through their head.
And then Ichigo snuck back onto his mind. Slowly screwing with his head. Rubbing his face, he decided to stop thinking about it for now.
The paperwork in a pile was immediately attacked with great excitement. Something to get his mind off things. Grabbing his pen, he started to write. Filling out whatever he could, before he started to glance out the windows.
This was torture.