Miss (Mr) Congeniality
By: Lily Potter and WolfieGrl
Disclamier: We don't own.. please don't sue.. although if JK Rowling wants to share James with us, we wouldn't mind. ;)
Rating: PG13 Language and adult themes.
Author's Note: As a reaction to all the really grotty stories that are being published right now, we (to see who exactly we are see our profile) have decided to grace the world with a really good one. One that has everything within it.. romance, laughter, the bashing of shitty evil characters, but most of all.. It has friendship, and loyalty, and like all true Gryffindors, bravery in the face of make up and dresses and preppy baton twirling girls. (Even if it is loyalty to a rat!)
And...better yet...it has secrets, drunkenness, and rowdy good times. How can you pass a story this good up?
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James Potter gripped the small piece of parchment in his hand. His knuckles turning white. Next to him, Remus Lupin walked slowly, carefully trying not to step on Sirius Black's overly large feet. Sirius, the tallest sixth year yet, walked hunched over so that their legs wouldn't be exposed.
It was a rather complicated task, to fit three teenage boys under one invisibility cloak, and brining rather chubby Peter along would have been nothing but a suicide mission. As the said rat was unable to walk without stepping on someone's feet, which would send the entire group in a cascade down some unfortunate stair, or into a tapestry.
Remus Lupin grinned to himself, remembering the last time they had went marauding under the invisibility cloak with Peter along. Even in rat form, he had managed to fall out of James' pocket at the sight of Ms Norris, the caretaker's cat, and forced the rest of the Marauders to chase after the two down three corridors, one secret tunnel, and a rather nasty run in within the girl's bathroom.
James on the other hand, was furious with himself. He had promised Peter, promised Peter's parents that he would take care of him, and now the Slimy Slytherin, aka, Snape, had taken it upon his slimy self to make that promise impossible. James sighted, and repeated the words written on the parchment to himself yet again.
Potter,
Heard your little friend likes his bath, and his ducks, and his little toy boat… I have photographic evidence. Meet me at the trophy room at midnight, bring the wolf and the moron as well…
SS
James closed his eyes for a second trying to calm down. When the other boys had read the parchment over James' shoulder at breakfast, Sirius had immediately turned homicidal and threatened beheading, while Remus growled to himself and then had to count to a hundred to calm himself down.
Luckily Peter hadn't been there and hadn't seen the parchment, or the rather discriminating 3D hovergram that had appeared out of the green inked lettering. And if James had anything to do with it, Peter wasn't going to find out. With all the teasing that Peter got from the Slytherins, he didn't need more to worry about.
In a barely audible whisper, James muttered "He on his way?"
With already trained precision, Remus pulled out the Marauder's Map, and searched for Severus Snape. They found him making his way from the Slytherin common room…
James grinned for the first time that night…
"We got here before him! Padfoot and I can position ourselves against the wall.." he muttered..
"And Moony can be under the cloak, waiting by the door, if ambush is necessary." Sirius added.
"Great.. sure.. I get to tackle the Slytherin, while you two get to stand there and look surprised.." Remus said in mock anger.
"What are friends for?" James grinned as him and Sirius got out from under the cloak…
Seconds later, a ruffled and gasping Severus Snape ran into the trophy room, barely missing Remus by a inch…
He looked at James then at Sirius and then his eyes traveled around the room. "Where.. is...the...werewolf?" he asked, his eyes moving from corner to corner, from shadow to shadow.
James took firm hold of Sirius' robes; so that he could hold him back if Sirius tried to tackle Snape. Or that Sirius could make sure that James joined the fight from the start, by dragging him along. James wasn't entirely sure.
"He has a date." Sirius said..
"Not that you would know how that feels." James added,
Snape glared at the other two teens.. "Gloat all you want… well…actually don't…I wanted to show you something." At that, he pulled out an envelope and handed it to Sirius.
Never taking his eyes off of Snape, Sirius opened the envelope. The images inside didn't shock or surprise either of the boys. Peter Pettigrew, completely naked, half emerged in water, his pudgy hands playing with two small rubber ducks, and a toy boat.
As early as third year, the Marauder's found out about Peter's special bath time. Where he would sit in the bath for hours, playing with little floating toys. They never understood why he did it, but even Sirius had never mentioned it before in front of Peter.
"Fake!" James stated, his best poker face in place…
"Oh no, these are legitimate…" Snape said, and waved his wand. In front of the other two boys, another hovergram appeared, showing the negatives as they were. A red box had settled around every print. The red box that meant it was a Connor Camera, which of course meant that the images could not be tampered with…
James waved his hand through the hovergram, to make it disappear… then with a flick of his own want, the photographs disappeared as well…
"You know that I can make many, many more." Snape gloated.
"What do you want?" Sirius asked through clenched teeth.
"You know the Miss Hogwarts pageant?" Snape said, sneering at the other two boys.
"You want us to sabotage it? Want Narcissa to win?" Sirius asked.
He enjoyed the expression on Snape's face at the mention of Narcissa, the way the Slytherin's eyes widened, the way he battled for control over his emotions.
"Narcissa isn't entering." Snape said.
"So sabotage it is then?" James asked.
"No." Snape said, then at the confusion seen on James' face he added. "I want you to enter."
There was no movement within the room for the next second. Sirius stared at Snape, glaring daggers through his eyes. James however, simply said "No!"
"Then I get these mailed to every student, attached to all the bulletins, enlarged and painted on every free wall, magically woven into every tapestry…"
"Fine! Fine.." Oddly enough, it was both the boys that agreed. Sirius shaking with rage.
"Wait though. Will they let us enter? I'm not gonna fight with the teachers for something I don't want to do!" James said.
"Yeah. If they don't let us do it. We won't. And you still have to burn the photos." Sirius added…
"Look, I'll be nice.." Snape muttered, but Sirius interrupted him with a snort.
"I'll let u perform the timus selectus degrima on them, so that they will burn on the last day of the pageant. The negatives as well. And you don't have to do enter if you're not allowed." Snape added.
James wondered at the change of heart all of a sudden, but then it hit him. "Who gets to make up the questions and the tasks?" He asked.
"Well of course, Narcissa, the one in charge." He sneered at them and with a swish of his cloak, turned around and left.
The room was filled with complete silence, not a heartbeat could be heard. That is, until Remus pulled of the invisibility cloak and burst into laughter, while James and Sirius stared daggers at him.
"Beauty pageant!!!" He howled.
It took no less than three silencing charms from James to shut him up.
TBC
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