Title: Downward Spiral
Author: Shiori Asuka
Summery: Naruto writes a letter to an old friend, someone who used to mean the world to him. Until they turned on him. What could cause Naruto to be so hard of heart? What started his Downward Sprial?
Author Note: Hmmm… Actual story is just over 1,000 words. Pretty small. Pretty sad, but hey, it's something! I had such a writers block it was NOT funny. Bu I think this will help. Hopefully. Eeek.
Dedication: Dedicated to my sister's friend, Emma, who got me into the wonderful world of… Fruits Basket!
Disclaimer: Hmmmm, Looks down at files of ownership Computer, DVD's, posters, surround sound… Nope, no Naruto.
Why is it that when they are most needed, the people you need are nowhere to be found?
Or is that just me?
When I needed you, you where nowhere to be found. How am I supposed to bring back Sasuke if I'm not a ninja? If I don't belong to a village? Well, even though you betrayed me, I'll still bring you Sasuke back. I'm not going begrudge you and not bring him back because of what you did. I'm not manipulative.
Not like you.
I really thought you were my friend, I really did. I never picked you for such a good actress. I thought I knew you. But, then again, do we ever really know a person? I thought I knew you, and look where that got me; exiled from the one place I truly loved and betrayed by all those I called true.
You know, somehow I always saw this happening to Sasuke, not me. Although, I have to say, it is rather ironic that it's me that it happened to. I'm the one person who you could never expect to do something like that. I guess you could say… that I really am the polar opposite to Sasuke. And that I'm similar to him in more ways that I want.
Think about it; he had no parents, and neither do I. He left the village, and so did I (difference being that I was forced to leave and he did it voluntarily). We both want to be powerful for, although different, selfish but understandable reasons.
I guess that's why I never understood why you looked to him as an idol, as the best person to ever grace us with his presence. We were so similar.
But, then again, we were also a lot different too. He was deathly quiet, whereas I was loud enough to wake the dead. He was a genius, naturally talented, I had to work hard to do well. Sasuke was dark and I was bright. He was a stuck up ass who thought he was better than everyone else, I always…
Well, I always thought that you were all better than me.
I guess you felt the same way.
I never really understood what you saw in the guy. I guess he got the better side of the 'could never have been more different' part about us. Ugh, it makes me sick thinking of how you worshipped his chicken butt hair and his cold, deathly eyes and his lack of attention to……
………………
For crying out loud, the guy is gay! How can you like him? Did you not see him and Sai? Did you not see how he ignored all of his damn fangirls?! I'm telling ya, the guy is freaking gay! And still, you go after him like a desperate, rabid fangirl suffering from Sasuke-withdrawal symptoms!
You even went so far as to get rid of the one guy who might still like you as more than a friend after your downward spiral. I stood by you that whole time. Through all the tears, all the tantrums, all the guys that you flew through after you decided they weren't Sasuke enough for you. I even took the blow for you more times than you could count or know. You even saw me take a hit meant for you more than once. Nice to know I'm appreciated though.
Hah! Did you see that! That was sarcasm! And I used it on you! You, you no good, downright nasty cow! You hurt me, you used me and you broke my heart. You used me and tossed me aside. I can't believe you! I thought we were friends! You know, through the good times and the bad?! I stood by you through the bad, and when you get to the good, you tossed me aside! I don't think so. I'm going to bring back Sasuke, and then, whether you're ready or not, regardless of you're being a girl, I'm going to sock you one. I'm going to get you one good in the jaw. I wouldn't normally hit a girl, but you're an exception. I cared for you, held you when you cried, made promises that made me suffer to keep, I made you laugh when you were down, even if it was at my expense. I damn well gave up almost everything to make sure you had a shred of happiness and support.
And you turned on me. You started my own downward spiral.
You used me to get that mission to check on Sasuke. I know that's why you did it. After you found out that I had been given the recon mission for Sasuke, you went into a rage. You resorted to one of the only things you're good at; violence. Except this time, it was to yourself. I saw the cuts and the bruises. I tried to talk to you about it, tried to get you help. And then when you heard that it had gotten out into our group of friends, you did one thing I will never forgive you for, you bitch.
You accused me of beating you.. You told all of them, all of our friends, baa-chan, ero-sennin and Kakashi sensei included, all the while sprouting fake tears, that I had forced myself on you and when you refused, I beat you for… what was it? 'Insolence' I think you said. And the sad thing was, after all that I did, after all that we went through, they believed you.
I hate you so much I can feel him coming out now and I can't even see you.
Of course, no one could understand why the Council was so eager to believe you or why the public was so quick to judge. But I do. Baa-chan does, ero-sennin does. Do you know why? Not that you care enough to pay any attention.
It's because the most feared creature in existence is sealed inside me.
The Kyuubi no Kitsune.
Well, you know what, you can have Konoha, you can have your pity sex, you can have your guilt about the lie that you told to save your own image that was already ruined and most of all you can have that feeling that you ruined someone else's life. You can have your crappy affection and you can have your lame friends.
Because I have something better.
I have something that no one else can ever have. Only me. And you, Sakura, will never be able to have it or anything better because all you have is crappy friends, vanity, your lies and an unreciprocated love for a guy that will never come back to you because he's too caught up in his own path of self destruction that he has no time for your own.
Hmm, when I put it like that, I have no idea what I ever saw in you.
But, like I said. I have something that you never will.
I have love. I have a heart. I have Sasuke's heart.
……………
I told you he was gay.
So?! How was it? I think it's rather stupid actually, accept for the end. I like the ending. Hehe… Review please! Reviewers get cookies
Conditions apply (see Author's Note at start of story)