Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
...
Moving is never easy, especially when it's against your will. Not only is it emotionally wrecking, but it costs a fortune! Ugh, UPS is making a killing on me. If they "misplace" one of my packages again I swear...
I shook my head as I took a drag from my cigarette. No need to get agitated, well, even more agitated than I am already.
I sat outside of the Sea-Tac airport terminal, the crisp air making my skin raise. I shivered. I guess my body forgot what a real winter is. Living in Southern California will do that to you.
My pocket vibrated, causing me to awkwardly twitch.
I'll just pretend that I didn't notice that family staring at me...I had one new message. Heyy, I hope you had a safe flight! You've only been gone for a couple hours and I already miss you!
I tried to hold back a smile. After a quick reply I stuffed my phone back into it's original place. There's no point it getting excited over a text from her, I'm hundreds of miles away, and it's not like I made my feelings known when we were living in the same complex.
Releasing a breath I watched the smoke snake around my mouth, eventually fading into the air. I do this sometimes, zone in and out I mean. I try to relax and find comfort in the small things, even if the small things happen to be horrible for your health. Ha, well, it's not like that matters much these days...
"I thought you quit that when I found a pack in your bag two years ago." I exhaled again, turning to the voice I could never forget. Lord knows I still hear it in the back of my head whenever I'm doing something I'm not supposed to.
"Hello to you too mom." I smashed the butt into the side of a trash can, throwing it away after. That always bothered me. People smoking and just leaving their shit on the floor. I might smoke and contaminate the air even more than it already is, but I won't pollute the air AND the the earth. That's just mean.
"Hi sweetie, you look good. Even a little tan!" Tan? Please. I might have spent two years living in Los Angeles but nothing could make my skin even remotely tan. She hugged me, but not tightly.
I hugged her back with more force. "Mom, you don't have to treat me like a doll. You can hug me like a normal person."
"Oh, I know sweetie, I just don't want to put any strain on you after your flight." Liar. I rolled my eyes. A habit of mine.
"Whatever."
I noticed she looked the same. Maybe some more lines on her face, but other than that, still the same woman who raised me.
"Well, I made your room all nice and clean. I went to that special market and bought some food you might like..." I zoned her out. I know she's being nice and all...but, I'll always feel like she pities me, or thinks my condition is her fault so she has to make it up to me by buying me things I don't need.
I absently followed her to the car.
An hour later we arrived at her- er..my old home in Wallingford. It was a quaint little home, nothing special, but it fit for the two of us. I noticed my little vegetable and herb garden was still on the side of the house, granted it was looking a little overgrown, but I could fix that no problem. Gardening is kind of my thing. It calms me down, let's me de-stress, which is a much needed relief since I have a small anxiety issue...Well, it's small enough that I don't qualify for medication. Doesn't mean that I don't want it though...
I wandered around as she made dinner, looking for all the new additions she's done to the house while I've been gone. The only thing that remained the same was my room.
The Tibetan prayer flags were still hanging in their place, dream catchers hanging from the windows, posters, paintings, and photos covered the walls. My bookcase, now dusty, still over stuffed with everything from Wuthering Heights to Hack/Slash. I let out a sigh as I fell on to my bed, the dip in the center still there.
My eyes shot open as I heard a loud thumping hitting the wood floors. My door swung open and before I was able to brace myself, a full 60 lbs. of white fur and muscle jumped on me.
"Ahh! Luka! N-no..not..my face!" I could barely get a word out from laughing as my dog licked and pounced all over me. Her tail wagging as I slowly got up, she sat on my bed, staring at me, ever loyal. Despite the fact that I hadn't even visited her once in two years...god I'm such a bad owner.
"Hey crazy, how've you been? Taking care of the house, hmm?" She licked my hands as I rubbed her head and neck.
"Yea..I missed you too."
After some time playing and cuddling we both made our way downstairs to the kitchen. Luka sat down on the floor beside me as I sat opposite my mother. I thanked her for the food, vegan chick'un with brown rice and a salad. I know that even after three years it's still hard for her to understand that I don't want to eat meat, or any dairy for that matter. I know she worries about it even more due to my health.
Although, I still think it's funny that she accepted me being gay easier than me being vegan.
She said, in between bites of her own meat-filled plate,"You know your father came by. He heard you were moving back. He wants you to visit him."
"Mmm."
"Is that a yes?"
"Mmm."
"Well you have his number. When you call him tell him to not come by here again."
...
The phone conversation with my father was just as I had expected it to be.
Awkward.
We both painfully mumbled out pleasantries about how things have been, how people are doing.
Meaningless.
After a long moment of silence, I told him I'd come over to visit on the weekend, after I had a chance to get settled in, get a new doctor and such.
Again, meaningless.
If I wanted to I could go over right now, he only lived thirty minutes away. But I was putting off this meeting as long as I could. I would have said longer but then I'd seem like a dick. Of course I wanted to see my dad, he's my dad! I just didn't want to see someone who lived with him...
Atleast I have a couple days until that mess.
...
I never understood gossip magazines. People keep buying them as if the content inside is ever going to change. It's all the same. He's dating her, she's seen with him, he cheated, she lost weight and so can you! blah blah blah bullshit.
"Ms. Swan? The Doctor is ready to see you now."
I placed the magazine back among 50 others of its kind and walked into the office.
After the whole let-me-not-look-at-my-weight-as-you-write-it-down, and refuse-to-make-eye-contact-with-the-nurse-as-she-takes-your-pulse-thing the doctor finally came in.
He walked into the room with confidence, not something I'm used to. Most doctors I see look frazzled or exhausted, just waiting to get out of your room and into the next. He did look tired, the dark circles around his eyes showed that, but his posture showed no fatigue.
The nurse from before followed behind him, pushing a cart with two small bags in it. She left soon after.
"Hello, I am Dr. Carlisle Cullen," He shook my hand. "You must be Isabella Swan." He smiled at me, and I felt...good. Like I had nothing to worry about.
"Uh, just Bella please."
"Alright, Bella, I'll be taking over your treatment and any other medical needs you might have. I just got off the phone with Dr. Park, she says you were doing quite well on your program, but due to patient confidentiality I was not able to learn as to why you had to stop so quickly."
I felt my cheeks grow hot. God, even though I'm twenty I still get embarrassed over everything. Well, I guess it's not every day you have to tell a complete stranger how you single handedly ruined your academic career.
"Ah, well, long story short I lost my scholarship, so couldn't afford tuition, which meant that I lost my insurance."
"Which is why you had to move back home, I see." He nodded to himself as he looked through my file, "I'm sorry that that happened to you, but I hope that we can still continue the treatment without any problem from the insurance companies. You are insured at the moment, is that correct?"
"Well...," I brushed my hand through my hair. Another habit. "I'm under my mom's insurance for the time being. But because I had to move back so quickly I wasn't able to transfer my credits to any place over here, so unless I get a job in three months I'll be kicked off of that insurance as well."
I'm just an open book aren't I? I never speak this easily to anyone! But I guess I just feel comfortable with him. Strange.
He nodded, "Well, I wouldn't worry about that too much. Seattle is a big city, I'm sure you'll find a job soon enough." He glanced at my chart before laying it down and putting on latex gloves.
"Let's get started then. If you could take off your jacket, please." I complied. "Alright, I know you're familiar with this, everything that we'll be doing is the same that Dr. Park did, except now you'll have to meet with me once every two weeks."
Ugh, every two weeks. It used to be only once every three months. But then that changed to every month...
He motioned for me to lie down as he began to disinfect my arm. "There are a lot of good schools in the area too. What's your major?"
I chuckled. "I was pre-med. Ironic isn't it? The girl with the disease wants to become a doctor.." He inserted the needle into my right arm. It was so quick it was painless, I've never had anyone this good at this before.
"That does seem ironic." There was a sparkle in his golden eyes at the mention of irony. "You said you were a pre-med major, what are you now?" I shivered as I felt the cold blood rush into my arm from the bag below me.
"I'm an Art major."
"Art, huh? My daughter was an Art major, she paints wonderfully. But now she's a Fashion major."
"Hmm, fashion? Doesn't seem that far from Art. You pay out of pocket for expensive materials you end up using too quickly and when you graduate the best you can hope for is getting a glance at your portfolio out of thousands."
Dr. Cullen pulled the needle out so quickly that I didn't even notice we were done until he placed a cotton ball atop of my vein.
"So, Bella, why would you still become an Art major with all that to deal with?" He gave me a soft smile as he placed gauze around my forearm, wrapping it up.
I sat up, fixing my shirt and jacket in the process.
"Because I decided that I don't want to continue living forever like this. I know my situation isn't as bad as others, but what kind of life is this? I can't go anywhere for too long, I can't play sports or do anything that physical because I could brake something easier than everyone else, and I can't afford the medication that I have to take. I know the repercussions of stopping my treatment, and I'm willing to take that risk. At least then I'll be doing what makes me happy."
He looked at me for a moment, studying me. Then he did something unexpected. He agreed with me.
"If that is your decision then I respect that. When you do decide to withdraw from your treatment, please let me know before hand, don't just stop coming. I may know of an other treatment that doesn't have the same side-effects as this one."
"Another one? But I thought this was the only way?"
"Well, this treatment is not approved by, well, any medical association. But seeing as withdrawing from regular blood transfusions is, for the lack of a better word, a death sentence, I don't think you would have much of a problem trying it out."
Well damn. Just when I thought this doctor was some kind of goody goody he turns out to be kind of on the dark side of things. I like it. Who needs to play by the rules anyway?
"What kind of treatment is this? What exactly makes it illegal to do?"
"I can't go into that at the moment. But I'm sure we'll have this conversation again in the future."
Rejection is never easy. Tell that to the idiot not wanting to hire me because I don't have the right experience for the job. How much experience do you need to file papers?
I pulled out a fag and light it. I forgot how much I loved sitting outside when it was overcast. In LA it was hardly ever overcast, and when it was you'd get looked at like you were crazy for being outside in the "cold". I watched the smoke filter through the air, my frustrations fading with the white smoke. It didn't matter if I didn't get the job. Who wants to spend eight hours reciting the alphabet in your head for eight hours?
I crossed my legs as the wind blew over the water and on to shore. Pike Place was always a favorite of mine, even though it's overrun with tourists.
"Hey, could I bum one off of you?"
"Yea, sure." I pulled out my pack and handed the scruffy voiced man a cig.
"Aw, thanks. I haven't had one in days." I light it for him.
"No problem. Everyone needs to relax once in a while." I put the pack back into my bag.
"Yea, tell me about it. It's the start of winter..gotta stay warm or you'll get picked up by those zombies."
I raised a brow, "Zombies?"
"Well, they're not zombie-zombies, more like dead but alive." Sooo like a zombie?
"Right. Well, better keep safe then."
"Yea. Thanks for the smoke." He walked away, pushing a cart of bottles in front of him, a small dog at his heels.
Zombies huh? Has my dream of surviving a zombie apocalypse finally come true?
"Don't worry to much about him, that's just Dave being Dave, always going on about supernatural things." I looked up, again. An older hispanic woman in a new looking Northface jacket was standing beside me.
"And you are...?"
"I'm Larissa, I watch out for the locals here," she nodded to the groups of homeless that gathered around the totem pole which was located in the center of a grassy area just off to the side of Pike Place Market. "I work for the local shelter. Sometimes I walk with them and make sure no one roughs them up."
I slowly nodded, "Hmm...that's cool."
"Yea, it's tough work but it's for a good cause. If any of them try and tell you crazy things don't listen to it, alright?" Despite her smile and kind of care-free attitude toward this, I couldn't help but feel like she was warning me to stay out of whatever was going on. What is going on?
Whatever.
I twitched in my seat as my pocket began to vibrate. God, I'll never get used to that.
"Yea?"
"Hi sweetie, how was the doctor?"
"Fine. Everything's fine."
"I heard so many good things about him, I knew you'd like him."
"Yea that's nice... So if that's all-"
"Well actually I need you to go pick something up for me."
Sigh. Of course. "What is it?"
"I told my friend Yvonne that I'd pick her up this book I just read, so I need you to go to the bookstore and buy it for me."
"...And you can't pick it up because?"
"Because I'm busy with my job. You know, you should start looking for one, I'm not going to be able to continue to pay for your treat- your special diet without some help." Wow, I haven't even been here for two days. Not to mention the fact that I AM looking. Ass. "Alright? I text you the book title, okay see you at home."
Sigh.
I found the book easy enough. Some lame title about star-crossed lovers unable to be together for supernatural reasons. Bleh.
I was about to curse my mother for making me walk around the Westlake Center in the rain when I haven't gotten used to the cold yet, when I completely forgot why I was angry in the first place. In fact, I forgot why I was here at all.
All it took to get me to forget everything around me was a shopping bag hitting my leg.
I stopped walking at the nudge from the heavy bag.
I turned around at the sound of a clear, bell-like voice that made my heart jump.
"Oh, sorry!" My dark brown eyes met her bright caramel ones. I couldn't stop...staring into them.. Her pupils dilated slightly as she took a deep breath.
Did she just..smell me? If it were anyone else I'd say that's pretty weird, but at the moment I didn't give a fuck. Shit, I better respond before she thinks I'm slow or something.
"D-don't worry about it." Stupid quivering voice. What am I? A thirteen year old boy?
She smiled and I felt my heart beat faster.
"I guess I should really pay attention to where I'm walking." She pulled a couple bags from her left hand to her right. I noticed she didn't have any gloves on, even though it was cold enough for it to possibly snow. But then again, the peacoat and large scarf she was wearing looked warm enough.
Black inky tips of her short hair pointed out in all directions, some clinging to her face from being dampened by the rain. I almost wanted to reach out and push them out of the way. Almost.
I felt my cheeks beginning to grow hot. No, not now! I will not be the embarrassed child I once was. I'm an adult now! Time to man up, Bella. Be the bear!
"Are you sure paying attention is the problem?" I nodded to her 5,000 bags with a smirk, "How are you even holding all those bags without falling over?" She looked about 3 or 4 inches shorter than my 5'6'' frame, how could she even walk without stumbling over them?
She raised a perfect brow, "Are you trying to say I have a problem? I'll have you know that I only buy as much as I can carry." With that she easily lifted up an arm to prove her point.
"Well you must have had a lot of practice to carry that much." I swear she has over 12 bags in one hand!
"I like to shop! You have a problem with that?" Her voice sounded as if she was upset, but the growing smile on her face told me otherwise.
I raised my hands up in mock defense. "No ma'am, no problem here."
"Ma'am? First you say I have a shopping addiction and now you're calling me old? You sure know how to make a good first impression don't you?"
"What can I say, I'm a charmer."
She smirked, "Well why don't you help me take my bags to my car, then we'll see just how charming you really are."
...
Feedback is much appreciated! Especially on my writing style, so please critique as you see fit.
And if you can figure out my chapter titles mucho points to you!