By Dekugirl
Disclaimer: I, Dekugirl, do not own Zelda. Now get the lawyers out of my house!
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Link: *Is walking in the back alleys of Hyrule Marketplace* Gawd, I HATE this place!
Random Baka: *Is drunk and smells like crack* Hic! Kiss me!
Link: *Raises eyebrows, sloooooooooooowly back away with hands in the air, then turns and runs into another alley*
Mysterious Guy in Trenchcoat: Psssssssst! Hey buddy!
Link: ? *Looks around to see if there's anyone else he could be talking to* Me?
MGT: Yeah, you. C'mere.
Link: *Cautiously approaches MGT* What?
MGT: *Very quietly* Wanna buy a pen? *Stretches out arm to reveal this inside of one of the sides of his trenchcoat, with is full of pens*
Link: No.
MGT: *Angrily* Buy a pen!
Link: *Realizes he shouldn't get him mad* Fine. I'll take the black one.
MGT: Nope! Can't have the black one! *Grabs black pen and shoves it into the other side of his trenchcoat*
Link: Ok... Then I'll take the red one.
MGT: Nope! Can't have the red one! *Grabs red pen and shoves it into the other side of his trenchcoat*
Link: *Ticked off* Fine then I'll take the blue one!
MGT: Nope! Can't have the blue one! *Grabs blue pen and shoves it into the other side of his trenchcoat*
Link: Then I don't want a pen!
MGT: Cheapskate! *Walks away*
Link: ..........
Random Guy: *Does an Irish jig in while singing in dutch, waving an American flag, and wearing a kilt and kimono with a chinese dragon embroided on it* Gannondorf is raiding the back alleys! *Dances out*
Link: What the heck did he just say?
Dutch Person: Gannondorf is raiding the back alleys.
Link: Thanks! ...But aren't we already IN the back alleys?
Dutch Person: He means the BACK alleys.
Link: Oh! *Runs into the BACK alleys where Gannondorf is helping an old lady cross the street, carrying a middle aged woman's groceries, and playing the piano for old people all at the same time* You gotta be kidding.
Gannondorf: Why if it isn't my good friend Link! Come on, Link! Sing along! If you're happy and you know it...
Link: Uh... Okay... *Begins to sing, everyone there stops what they are doing to stare at him*
Guy: You suck at singing!
Everyone: Stupid arse! *Throws rotten cheese at him 'til he goes back to the back alleys*
MGT: I thought it sounded good. Here! Have a pen! *Holds out pen*
Link: Thanks! *Reaches for it*
MGT: You gotta be kidding! *Stuffs pen back into trenchcoat*
Link: .... *Turns, prepares to walk away*
MGT: But...
Link: ? *Turns around*
MGT: How'ed ya like to become my partner? We can "sell" pens together!
Link: But you never actually sell anything.
MGT: Most people pay me to go away. I've made thousands that way!
Link: That's something only an untrustworthy baka would do! .....How much of the profit would I get?
MGT: *Tells him*
Link: KIMISAMA! YES! Yes! Lemme be your partner, PLEASE!
MGT: Okay!
....So Link became his partner, and they made millions of rupees and became very rich by annoying people until they were caught, thrown into jail, and tortured for the rest of their pathetic lives.
The End!