Enterprise Jeopardy
MackGold
This story is a little weird, so don't ask
The crowd cheers as our favorite host, Crewman Daniels (don't ask) comes
into the studio.
Daniels: Welcome to Enterprise Jeopardy, the only game show that survived all the way through world war three. Please say hello to our contestants today. Say hello to------Captain Jonathan Archer!
Archer waves to the crowd, and takes his place at the podium with his badly written name on it.
Daniels: Ensign Hoshi Sato!
Hoshi walks onto the stage and takes her place at her podium. Oddly enough, hoshi's name is written like HoSHI. (that's hoshi in klingon for all you non-klingon speaking people)
Daniels: And last but not least, Commander Charles "Trip" Tucker the III!
Trip runs onto the stage, and trips on some marbles that some kid threw on the floor.
Trip: Stupid marbles. Now I know where I got my nickname...
Daniels: Erm, okay. Lets get the game started. Our catagories are: Famous captains whose last names start with "Ar", Vulcans, how do you bash them, Marbles (Trip: Argh!) Logic, better skip that one.
Daniels takes a piece of paper, scribbles something on it and tapes in "Logic"'s spot. The catagory now is "Buzz in and get free points!"
Daniels: And finally, how do you like your scrambled eggs. Archer, since you are the highest ranking officer, pick a catagory.
Archer: Hmm, I'll take Vulcans, how do you bash them, for 200.
Daniels: What is the common nickname for Vulcans before 2151?
(ding) Hoshi: sharp?
Daniels: No. Anybody else?
(dingdingdingdingding) Trip: Umm...something if you step on it will hurt your feet?
Daniels: Archer? Do you have a clue?
Archer: Not a clue.
Daniels: Bah, the answer is Pointy. Archer is now in the lead with -100 points, with Hoshi and Trip dragging behind with -200. We'll be back after a short commercial break.
**************COMMERCIAL STARTS******************* Mysterious voice: Have you ever felt the need to blow things up?
Malcolm Reed: I have, many many times!
Mysterious voice: Well then, buy the Vulcan pornography torpedo! It is so horrible, your enemies will self destruct at the first sight of it!
Other person: How does it work?
Mysterious voice: Well, it has a transmitter inside of it that is full of Vulcan pornography. You fire the torpedo, and then it transmits vulcan porn to every single screen in the enemy ship. It is so bad, your enemies will still be retching after they self-destruct!
Reed: I'll give some of these to Archer for his birthday present...heh heh heh... **************COMMERCIAL OVER************************ What on EARTH is Reed trying to do with that Vulcan Porno Torpedo? I don't even want to know? Find out when the commercials are over on Enterprise Jeopardy!
Daniels: Welcome to Enterprise Jeopardy, the only game show that survived all the way through world war three. Please say hello to our contestants today. Say hello to------Captain Jonathan Archer!
Archer waves to the crowd, and takes his place at the podium with his badly written name on it.
Daniels: Ensign Hoshi Sato!
Hoshi walks onto the stage and takes her place at her podium. Oddly enough, hoshi's name is written like HoSHI. (that's hoshi in klingon for all you non-klingon speaking people)
Daniels: And last but not least, Commander Charles "Trip" Tucker the III!
Trip runs onto the stage, and trips on some marbles that some kid threw on the floor.
Trip: Stupid marbles. Now I know where I got my nickname...
Daniels: Erm, okay. Lets get the game started. Our catagories are: Famous captains whose last names start with "Ar", Vulcans, how do you bash them, Marbles (Trip: Argh!) Logic, better skip that one.
Daniels takes a piece of paper, scribbles something on it and tapes in "Logic"'s spot. The catagory now is "Buzz in and get free points!"
Daniels: And finally, how do you like your scrambled eggs. Archer, since you are the highest ranking officer, pick a catagory.
Archer: Hmm, I'll take Vulcans, how do you bash them, for 200.
Daniels: What is the common nickname for Vulcans before 2151?
(ding) Hoshi: sharp?
Daniels: No. Anybody else?
(dingdingdingdingding) Trip: Umm...something if you step on it will hurt your feet?
Daniels: Archer? Do you have a clue?
Archer: Not a clue.
Daniels: Bah, the answer is Pointy. Archer is now in the lead with -100 points, with Hoshi and Trip dragging behind with -200. We'll be back after a short commercial break.
**************COMMERCIAL STARTS******************* Mysterious voice: Have you ever felt the need to blow things up?
Malcolm Reed: I have, many many times!
Mysterious voice: Well then, buy the Vulcan pornography torpedo! It is so horrible, your enemies will self destruct at the first sight of it!
Other person: How does it work?
Mysterious voice: Well, it has a transmitter inside of it that is full of Vulcan pornography. You fire the torpedo, and then it transmits vulcan porn to every single screen in the enemy ship. It is so bad, your enemies will still be retching after they self-destruct!
Reed: I'll give some of these to Archer for his birthday present...heh heh heh... **************COMMERCIAL OVER************************ What on EARTH is Reed trying to do with that Vulcan Porno Torpedo? I don't even want to know? Find out when the commercials are over on Enterprise Jeopardy!