Thoughts in Fog
Bleach is (c) Kubo Tite and shonen jump.
After University Ichigo had moved from Karakura. He'd separated himself completely from the area and moved to the US. He wasn't sure why exactly. Sure there had been lots of bad memories, but they were equally countered with good ones. His powers were still there, and he used them when needed. There was no great war, no unsurmountable task to overcome. Ichigo felt almost directionless without such a thing. He all but disappeared from everyone. Sparingly he'd text and check in, but he spent time for himself, working and living by his own choices. It was... nice...
He got himself a nice little apartment on the west side of was close enough to his work place that he didn't have to worry about a car, and it had a great view. He enjoyed teaching studios at the college and generally had a slower paced lifestyle. Days off were spent on long walks around the city taking in the scenery and art (and sometimes using his abilities when he needed release). He wasn't completely happy, but the difference was refreshing. It was something he needed. Though he loved his friends and family very much, Ichigo just needed to be himself without expectations of saving the world on his shoulders.
He did get lonely though. It was hard being away from people who understood his plight. And not that he was particularly fond of it, when he needed, he confided in Urahara. His teacher had been a great deal more understanding than the rest of his loved ones about the whole 'away time'. It made it easy to talk to the elder when the question of 'when are you coming back' wasn't held over his head. Urahara was strangely calming to talk to now that things were more at peace. He still put up a joking front, but their conversations were more mature and less yelling on his part.
"There have been some inquiries about you Kurosaki-kun." Normally Urahara didn't begin conversations with that topic, or even bring it up.
"They already know-"
"Not them..." He could almost hear the smugness in the other man's voice. "Someone else of importance."
"What are you talking about?" Ichigo seemed lost. "My friends know I want some alone time. Soul Society knows I want to have a career for a while before I go there."
" seem to have forgotten that there are others who take interest in you. I told him you didn't want to be found, but well, he's impulsive. You know he'll find you eventually." Urahara laughed. "Just giving you forewarning."
"Grimmjow..." Ichigo stated in unease. He'd left without saying anything to the arrancar leaving their rivalry at somewhat of a stalemate.
"I suggest you sort out whatever feelings you have regarding him before he finds you. That could be messy otherwise." Urahara seemed to read his mind.
"Yea last I need is him tearing down a city." Ichigo snorted. The problem was that he FELT something for Grimmjow. Not just rivalry or even strained camraderie. A yearning so to speak. It was why he'd never said anything to the other. "That's a difficult situation already." He admitted to his mentor.
"Ichigo..." Hearing his first name meant the other man had something important to say. "Remember, your choices are your own. Your friends and soul society don't matter where your happiness is concerned. And that being said, you need some happiness. There's no judgement for that."
"Urahara..."
"Well, I've had enough of being serious!" he laughed. "Don't break your apartment down with rough sex! The spiritual energy could be massive!"
Ichigo blushed angrily and hung up without saying anything else. His mind played over the advice and warning. In truth, he knew how he felt, but he'd thought it pointless. He preferred not to go down that road knowing Grimmjow couldn't experience feelings like he did. Or at least he thought he did. He didn't want to think about it, and had shoved all thoughts of the Espada aside when he'd moved. He'd left things unresolved and just forgot.
With winter weather set in, days had become even more wet and foggy. It was an interesting thing to see from his window every morning. Dense clouds settled around all the buildings gave the city an almost spiritual look. He could feel the reiatsu in the fog too, and that added to the sensation. It was a gorgeous sight to drink his coffee to. He'd never been much of a morning person, but living in Seattle seemed to have awakened a desire to watch the sun rise.
This particular day something had caught his eye. There'd been a silhouette in the fog. One he recognized and knew well. Ichigo sighed heavily and set his coffee down, preparing for the conflict that was to come. Without much thought he pushed his soul out and waited. Grimmjow was quick to approach and landed heavily on his balcony. Blue eyes flashed dangerously at him, but it didn't have the same intimidating effect it used to. It caused him to shiver in wanting, but he tried to hide it with a nonchalant turn of his head to beckon the Espada inside. Grimmjow did not react favorably to that and stamped his foot causing the whole building to shake. Ichigo's eyes darkened and he let his massive spiritual energy curl stiflingly around the other man.
"Just because you're some hollow-mutt doesn't mean you can look down on me." Grimmjow choked out.
Ichigo sighed and let off slightly. "I don't. I don't look down on you Grimmjow." He tilted his head blinked.
"Then what do you call this?" He shot forward and gripped the shinigami's arms painfully.
"What are you talking about Grimmjow? I only did that so you wouldn't take my apartment down." Ichigo scowled at their proximity.
"Fuck you for running away. Fuck you for leaving things unfinished." Grimmjow spat while shaking him. "You broke your promise and don't want anyone to tell where you are?"
Ichigo sucked in a breath and forced Grimmjow to an arm's length apart. "I didn't tell anyone except hat n' clogs where I was. I just needed space from everything and I didn't want to be disturbed."
"Fuck you Kurosaki! I know you don't just run away from things. Stop being a chicken shit." He snarled baring a fang. "I know you Kurosaki. I know you better than anyone else. You might be a mixed little shit, but I know you and the monster in you."
"Because you're a monster yourself?" Ichigo asked calmly. "I don't think you really know Grimmjow. Yes I can relate to you easily, but don't think you know me intimately." He frowned and blushed slightly when her realized what he'd said.
Grimmjow snorted. "Well obviously you're scared of something that isn't fighting. Dumbass. Otherwise you'd be bristling like a tomcat." Grimmjow's eyes narrowed. "You smell different. Your energy does."
"What do you mean?" He asked tensing.
Grimmjow licked his lips and circled Ichigo. "Your spiritual energy smells like vanilla but darker."
He'd once asked his hollow about it. He didn't quite understand how reiatsu had a particular scent. The idea behind it made sense, but he supposed since he wasn't a full hollow and didn't have a constant lingering hunger, that he didn't notice the nuances in the scent. He was sure that the nature of Grimmjow's hollow made him even more able to detect subtleties. He wasn't sure what the statement about vanilla meant.
He guessed his face showed his confusion because Grimmjow continued. "It's rich. I don't even have to devour your to taste it." He almost crooned. "What is that enticing flavor I wonder." He stated knowingly.
"What?" Ichigo stepped back eyes narrowing again. "Stop making fun of me."
Grimmjow crowded him and took a deep breath. "I would eat you right now, but I think I want to savor this."
Ichigo was saved from longer conversation by his phone going off. He sniffed indignantly and walked around Grimmjow to get ready for work. Even after he stepped back into his body, Grimmjow was in his space. The Espada was purposely annoying him. It was difficult to keep his reactions to the other man at bay. Grimmjow was just so noticeable.
Even as he went through his day, he could feel the hollow following him around. He could feel eyes on him. And he was sure even a few of his students could at least make out Grimmjow standing in the classroom. Ichigo tried to ignore it though. He didn't want it to be obvious just how much on edge he was. That would make the situation much worse. He hoped he could just wait Grimmjow out, and that the arrancar would get bored and leave him alone.
He was out of luck though. Grimmjow was not keen on leaving. He was far too entertained at how uncomfortable he was making things. Ichigo wondered if it was a form of revenge. He quickly dismissed that idea though. Grimmjow was more direct. This little annoyance was probably just the hollow trying to get under his skin. It was unfortunately working. The worst of it was that his long shoved away feelings were rapidly surfacing and causing him more things to worry about.
His only reprieve from Grimmjow was when he was asleep. The Espada left him alone for some reason. He was grateful for that too. The presence would seem to disappear right as he was fading off, and would reappear in the morning just after he woke up. It was strange, and though he was curious, he wasn't sure he wanted to know what mischeif Grimmjow got up to while he slept. No one had been reported murdered and nothing was destroyed, so he wasn't too worried. He figured, now that Grimmjow knew where he was, he could just use a dimensional rip between the two worlds easily. That was at least the safest thought.
Then, right around finals time for his students, Grimmjow was gone. It was sudden. Ichigo had woken up every morning for the last two weeks expecting Grimmjow to pester him. The lack of stifling presence was very unsettling. He tried to push down the disappointment he felt. He'd reasoned that he wanted Grimmjow to leave him alone, to stop bothering him. But he knew that the other's presence had made his loneliness less noticeable. It made his yearning stronger. Ichigo was tough though. He pushed through his morning, his day, shoving thoughts of Grimmjow to the back burner. Focused on his critiques and grading, he occupied himself with everything else.
It didn't matter though. He felt Grimmjow's absence right down to his core. It made the loneliness come back with a vengeance. Days went by before he even felt a blip of Grimmjow's presence. It was still a ways off, and he had half the mind to throw caution into the wind and chase it down. Rationale won out. He didn't want his hiding place to be discovered by anyone else. At least not yet.
A few days before Christmas Ichigo decided to talk a long walk. He thought the crisp air might clear him up a bit. That, and he wanted an excuse to see all the different displays around the ciy. It was not all helpful. The entire time he tried to figure out how to forget his feelings. But that just brought about thoughts of what Grimmjow had been like as a human. Would he have liked him? Found him attractive? Would Grimmjow even consided him? It had been pointless to think about those things. There wouldn't be walks under thousands of tiny lights, or kissing under mistletoe. Hell there wouldn't even be tentative affection. They existed to fight each other, and Ichigo had even deprived Grimmjow of that. He sighed heavily and trekked back home.
He sat in dark staring out the window. The play of heavy humidity in the air made all the buildings and Christmas lights look dreamy. He sat in a daze nursing a glass of bourbon on the rocks. Everything seemed so unreal that Grimmjow's shadow falling over him didn't even faze him. He was only alerted when the glass was taken from him. He jolted at the cold touch.
"Stop sulking. It puts a sour tang in your reiatsu."Grimmjow growled.
Ichigo's eyes darkened as he looked at the other. Desire hit him full on. "Shut up Grimmjow!" His cheeks flushed.
"Ah-ha! That's better. Anger is more becomming. Spicy. But I wonder..." Grimmjow invaded his space again. "I had an idea of what that heady scent was before."
Ichigo sucked in a deep breath and tried to shift away. "What are you talking about?"
All at once Grimmjow was completely over him. Hands were in his hair and lips slid over his. His pulse sky rocketted with his compounding, fast building desire. His fingers twitched and he ached to touch the hollow. Grimmjow moaned in approval then. It was a low and rumbling noise, much like that of a purr deep in his chest. It was... hot.
"I knew I was right." Grimmjow panted against his lips. " I knew I recognized that scent. And fuck if I'm going to let you deny it."
Ichigo blushed darkly realizing Grimmjow had figured it out, much to his chargrin. "I'm not going to." He finally whispered after a moment.
"Good! Then you won't protest taking that meat sack off, jumping in bed, and letting me indulge in all the things I missed out on since I got killed." Grimmjow smirked.
"You're the worst." Ichigo mumbled, but there was no venom in the statement. He shed his human form and stood before the hollow in his true form. "Let's see how my bed frame holds up." He answered with his own challenging look.
"Yes. I like where this is going..." Grimmjow grinned all teeth and then shoved Ichigo against the wall.
"Don't think this is going to be easy for you." Ichigo quirked a brow. "I'm not that kind of guy."
"Don't give me your false chastity Kurosaki! I don't give a shit." He growled and pressed close.
Ichigo couldn't believe this was happening. He was just floored that he could even be like this with Grimmjow. He'd never figured the hollow would be able to indulge like this. It shouldn't have surprised him considering shinigami and vaizard alike could have relationships. But it really hammered into his skull when he felt the electricity of Grimmjow's spiritual energy washing over him as they kissed roughly. The air was charged and crackled around them. Ichigo shoved back not letting the taller man dominate him. It was thrilling in a completely new way. He grasped the lapels on Grimmjow's jacket and tugged him down for another kiss.
"I hope you fuck like you fight." Grimmjow commented between breaths.
"Guess you'll just have to wait to find out..."
a/n: Merry belated christmas stormy! I've been having such a problem posting this and I don't know why. Enjoy the GrimmIchi. Sorry it was late. maybe i'll smut on this later. for now I hope it suffices. Please forgive typos. Work schedule has made me tired as fuck.