It's another ordinary day at the children's home for geniuses. Or is it? :p This story is strictly humor. I'm not following a specific timeline; I made up ages and circumstances as I went. I saw the letters BBBS somewhere and it inspired this whole abnormal caper. Usual disclaimers apply, and I'll add this warning: you may laugh out loud in occasional spots. Further disclaimer: I have myself attended VBS multiple times. I'm not trying to make fun of any religion. It just lent itself to the story.
Saburo, Kent, Ren, Cho, Hoshi, and Taro are mine. I plan for them to show up in future stories. This is their first FF appearance, I believe, but they were born in a roleplay between me and my sister. Please do not use them in your fics.
"Wammy House costs a lot to run," L told his followers—or tagalongs, really, one day during a hiatus from crime solving. "I know Watari has a lot of money, but… none of us knows how much."
"What will happen to us if it closes?" A asked, wide-eyed.
B scoffed. "It won't close," he said. "Watari won't let anyone close it. He'll sell a few castles and a couple thousand stock shares and we'll have nothing to worry about."
"We should worry about it," L said, throwing a serious damper on B's care-free attitude. "Just because he can doesn't mean we should rely on it."
A narrowed his eyes in speculation. "You think we have a duty to help out—even if he doesn't need it?"
"It's the least we can do."
"OK," B said, shrugging. "If you think so. Leave it to me. I've got ten money-making ideas in my head right now."
"Try the legal ones first," L muttered.
"It's summer," B mused. "Children are home from school. Their parents are desperate for a break from them. I know just what to do…"
A looked at L with horror as B slunk from the room, rubbing his pale hands together.
"You don't think he's going to try running a daycare, do you?" A asked worriedly.
"No. Too much work with too small a return. My guess is a day camp. But whom he thinks he'll get for an instructor or counselor at such late notice, I have no idea."
Weeks passed, but the rumors passed quicker. It was soon common knowledge that B had rented a church for two whole weeks and begun hanging posters around town. A huge banner over the church's front door read "BBBS—grand opening this Monday! Children welcome, ages seven to twelve. Week days, 9 am to 2 pm."
"The church is Birmingham Baptist… so I guess it's Birmingham Baptist Bible School," some of the Wammy children supposed.
L disagreed. "He might as well have called it VBS like everyone else. No; he has a devious plan, and he's named it after himself." He went to find B's older friend Saburo. As one of the first children in Wammy's, Sabu was something of an authority among the youngsters. Having outgrown the lessons in his area of expertise, he was now an assistant to the chemistry professor.
"Sabu," L greeted him in the school yard, "I need a favor."
Sabu smiled and folded his arms. "The perfect genius comes to me for help? Something must really be wrong. Is the world ending?"
"Nothing that drastic, I hope…. You know this thing BB has going on at that church?"
"Of course."
"I want to see the curriculum he's planning to use."
Sabu laughed. "Sorry, but if you want to see it, you'll have to enroll like everyone else."
"I'm too old," L pointed out. "The banner says seven to twelve."
"Oh, I'm sure he'll make an exception for a eighteen-year-old who's a little behind the times," Sabu said, grinning.
"Very funny. B is only fifteen, himself. How does he think he's going to control so many children?"
"Who knows? But I'm guessing he'll do it the way he always has."
L didn't like the knowing look on Sabu's face. He turned and walked over to another of the older Wammy's residents. "Kent," he said, "find A, Cho and Hoshi. We need an emergency meeting."
Kent nodded. "Your room?"
"Yes."
Soon Kent, A, Cho, Hoshi, Mello, Near and Matt were assembled. L looked disapprovingly at Matt. "Who brought him?"
Mello groaned. "He's always tagging after me. I can't get rid of him! Besides, you invited Near, and Matto's older."
"Age has nothing to do with it…"
"I'm right here!" nine-year-old Matt piped up, not taking his eyes off his Gameboy. "You don't have to stand around talking about me like I don't exist."
"You're ignoring the rest of us with your pointless game," Near pointed out.
"It's not pointless! The goal is to—"
Mello clamped a hand over Matt's mouth. "He'll be quiet," he said solemnly to L.
L rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Now, I called this meeting because while the rest of us have thought up legitimate, legal and helpful ways to earn money for our gift to Wammy House, BB is obviously up to something devious…"
"I'm holding a science fair," Near put in.
L paused. He liked Near a lot for his intellect. But sometimes his mind wandered off the important subject at hand. He couldn't help it, of course. He was just a kid. But it was annoying. "Yes, Near. That's nice. Now, as I was saying, we need to make sure B isn't doing anything that will hurt people. Some of you are young enough to enroll in his little Bible School and observe firsthand…"
"Infiltration. My specialty," Matt said, still not looking up from his game.
Mello looked apologetic as he elbowed Matt and hissed, "Shut up."
"The rest of us," L went on, "will need to take a less direct approach, I think."
"Maybe not," said Kent. "B might hire us on as helpers."
"He wouldn't trust me," said A.
"He doesn't trust me either," said Cho. "Besides, he knows how to read my face."
"He likes me," Hoshi said quietly.
"You're always avoiding him, though," Kent reminded her. "Won't he find it suspicious if you suddenly start paying attention to him?"
"Maybe. But I think he's conceited enough to attribute it to his own charm."
"Are you sure you want to do that?" L asked her seriously. "When this is over and he realizes you were pretending, he might make your life pretty miserable."
Hoshi pressed her lips together. "Let him try. I can kick his butt."
Mello laughed. Then when he realized he was the only one who had, he sobered quickly.
"We can protect her," Kent said.
"You, A and me against B, Sabu and Taro? Maybe… but Taro is the Judo instructor's prize student, remember..."
"Don't forget me," said Cho. "I've kicked some major butt in my time, too."
"And I really know how to annoy BB," Matt said proudly, eyes glued to screen.
Near looked over at Matt serenely. "Matto, with you, everything is about pushing buttons."
Matt paused his game just long enough to send Near a scathing look out of the corner of his eye.
Mello couldn't hide a smirk. It was nice when Near scored off someone besides him.
"Anyway," L said, trying to keep the conversation from dissolving into childish sniping, "The BBBS starts in two days, so we need to get busy."
Mello laughed aloud.
"Now what?" asked Kent.
"Well… don't you guys think it's funny? Beyond Birthday's BS? He's always dishing out BS around here—why not at a church?"
"You're so immature," Hoshi sighed.
"You only learned what BS stood for last week," Kent accused.
"Nah-uh!" Mello exclaimed. "I've known for forever."
"Forever, like last week when I explained it to you," Matt put in, not looking up.
Near smiled. "I'm content not knowing, thank you."
Mello momentarily forgot his plan to strangle Matt and grinned devilishly at Near. "It means—"
Kent put his hand firmly over Mello's mouth. "OK, if you children don't shut up, you'll have to leave the meeting. Got it?"
"Thank you," L told Kent. "Now, I want you three youngsters to enroll at the church. Kent, see if B will take you as a helper. Hoshi, turn your charms on him. A, Cho and I will master operations from my room. Who has a cell phone?"
"I do," said Cho.
"Me, too," said Kent.
"Cho, let Hoshi borrow your phone when she's out on mission," L instructed. "She may need to reach us quickly. We'll have mine here." He looked at the clock. "Now you three youngsters had better get to bed. I don't want you in detention when I need you out there, got it?"
"Got it," said Mello and Matt together. Near merely gave a nod and got to his feet.
Mello stood. "Come on, Matt. Matto, bedtime."
"Just gotta finish the level…"
"Now!" Mello tugged Matt's arm. "I swear, if you keep playing those games all day, your mind will turn to mush and you'll be no good to anyone."
"Except the ladies," Matt said, grinning at his game screen.
"Come on, you idiot," Mello growled.
Near took Matt's other arm and they dragged him to the door.
"Hey… hey! You messed me up," Matt accused. "Gah! Stop! Let me at least pause it! Hey!"
Kent closed the door behind them. "It's a shame we need them," he said. "They can really be a pain."
"They'll grow out of it," said Cho.
A stretched. "If you need a diversionary tactic, I'm sure I can distract B or any of his cronies."
"Except Ren," Kent reminded him. "She's pretty smitten with B, which automatically means she dislikes you. And she mostly ignores everyone else."
"If she hates me, she'll pay me almost as much attention as she would if she liked me," A said confidently. "Don't worry."
"We won't really know how to act until we have firsthand information," L said, steepling his fingers. "So I'd say we put our part into motion as soon as possible tomorrow; other than that, we'll have to wait until opening day so Near and the others can give us a report."
When L went to brush his teeth that night, he met B in the bathroom.
B paused in his application of hair gel. "Outta my office," he said, smirking. "Don't you know this is the B-room?"
"What makes you think you can run a Bible school?" L asked, squirting toothpaste onto his brush.
"Easy." B went back to gelling his hair. "There are a few elements every Bible school has. Bibles, games, songs, fake money, cheap prizes and snacks. I've made arrangements for those."
"Songs? You don't know any Christian songs. Wait, what kind of snacks?"
B grinned. "Ren looked up some popular VBS songs on the internet. She'll teach them to the children—if they don't already know them, of course. You see, I purposely scheduled my program late in the summer. That way, a lot of the kids will already have attended a few others this year. They'll fill in the gaps where we don't know what to do."
L had to admit, it was a good plan. "But where does the money come in? And did you say what kind of snacks?"
B pulled all his hair straight up in spikes. "We're going to explain to the children that we're raising money for a children's home," he said proudly. "Their parents will send dues along with them. I've seen it done before. It works."
"If they've already attended a lot of VBSs this summer, maybe their parents will be tired of giving them money for it," L pointed out. He put his toothbrush in his mouth. "What soat o' snacks are you suvving dem?"
"They'll bring money, trust me. You just have to make a contest out of it. Get them all competitive. Works like a charm." B rinsed his hands in the sink. "Well, seeya tomorrow."
"Waid…" L spat in the sink. "Why are you styling your hair right before you go to bed?"
"Because if I get it all full of gel now, it will freeze in bed-head position," B explained on his way out. He paused in the doorway. "And it'll look just like yours."
L scowled.
"Oh, and by the way," B added, poking his slick-haired head back through the door, "you wanted to know what kind? Cheap." He continued on his way, an evil smirk dominating his features.
"Drat him," L muttered.
Horrors! BB running a VBS? What shall happen next? lol Hope you enjoyed it so far. I know it's very random, but who doesn't like a good laugh with the Wammy boys once in a while, right? *hugs them all*