Feeling like a Fourth Wheel
Peter Pettigrew sat in the stands during an intense match of Quidditch. He sat alongside Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, two of his three best friends. His third best friend was playing on the Quidditch team as one of the Chasers. Peter watched as James scored against the Ravenclaw keeper. Along with everyone else in the crowd, Peter cheered loudly.
"I doubt that keeper is a keeper for Ravenclaw," Sirius whispered to Peter and Remus. Peter laughed and Remus gave Sirius a disapproving look but he couldn't stop himself from laughing. They continued to watch until the Gryffindor seeker caught the snitch leaving the game at 210-40. The three boys cheered loudly. They rushed down the stairs so they could meet up with James before he went to change.
"Hey Prongs," Sirius said. "Nice goals."
"Yeah," Peter agreed. "That last one was a nice shot. I read about that move you tried."
"Yeah," James said.
"Was the one you had been practicing?" Remus asked.
"Yeah," James said.
"Oh, you had been practicing that one? Cool." Peter said.
"Yeah, didn't I tell you?" James asked. "I told Padfoot and Moony for sure."
"No, you didn't" Peter said. The others kept talking but he had stopped. He felt hurt, why hadn't James told him? They always spent all their time together, all four of them. Except for when he would go to the library a few days a week to study. They always said they were just studying in the common room, it seemed like they weren't just studying.
"I'm going to go change," James said. "I'll meet you guys in the common room."
"Sure." The three boys started walking up towards the common room following behind the main stream of spectators.
"How's the essay on the mistreatment of the centaurs going for you?" Peter asked.
"We finished that," Sirius said. "What about you?"
"Oh, I'm just starting it," Peter said. "I was having trouble finding a good book about that, which one did you use?"
"I forget, do you remember, Remus?" Sirius said.
"You never told me," he said. "I'll ask James, he knows."
"Thanks," Peter said.
Later, the four boys snuck down to the kitchens where the house elves provided them with some food that they brought back up to the common room for a little party. The four boys sat together at a table with some other boys from their year discussing a new strategy the team had for their next game against Slytherin. Afterwards, they did a bit of homework together and then headed up to their dorm. They all got into bed and Peter fell asleep quickly. Only a little while later, he woke up to a noise. He was about to sit up and look around when he heard a voice.
"Do you think he heard," James said in a sharp whisper nodding over to towards Peter.
"No, he just turned over in his sleep," Sirius said. Peter watched with his eyes squinting and almost closed.
"Does it really matter if he wakes up?" Remus asked. "I mean, why don't we just include him in this?"
"Come on Remus, it's not like he's ever going to wake up. He sleeps through literally everything. The school could be on fire and he would not wake up until literally the last possible second and we'll go have to save his butt like we always do anyways."
"Yeah, but why not include him?" Remus asked again.
"He'll just get us caught." Sirius said.
"James?"
"Yeah?"
"What do you think?" Remus asked.
"I don't care."
"We've started all this already, Peter can't get credit for work that we do." Sirius said ending the discussion. They continued on about what they were doing but since they never went talked about what the main thing they were doing was, peter never really understood what they were talking about. He soon fell asleep.
Later in the night, Peter woke up again and this time no one else was awake. He thought back to the events of earlier on in the night. He had always felt fully included in the group. Even if he wasn't the leader of the group like James and Sirius were or the smartest one like Remus he had felt like a part of the group. Now, not so much. Did he really always get into problems that he needed saving from? Did he always get them caught? He could only think of one situation where that had happened for each of them. Once, in his first year he had been dared to enter the Forbidden Forest but when he had come back right away the other boys had teased him so he had re-entered and had just kept walking until he got lost and kept wandering around which got him even more lost. Remus had entered the forest and had somehow been able to find Peter easily and had gotten the two of them out. Peter only found out later that at the beginning of the year he had been going out deep into the forest during a full moon to stay away from the school.
The situation where he had gotten them caught was also in first year after him helping them out with a prank for the first time. Professor McGonagall had confronted him and he had by accident blurted out that they had done it. They had all gotten one night of detention but the others had laughed it off afterwards.
Peter could remember lots of times where the others had gotten into trouble that they needed to be saved from. James loved to act cool by going into the Forbidden Forest alone but with his sense of direction he had gotten lost every single time. Remus had again and again gone in and found him. Peter had also gone in and found him twice after having learned the trails.
Sirius had also gotten them caught many times by his constant bragging. He couldn't help but tell a few of the other kids in the common room his story. Every single time he did that one person would tell the teacher, they never found out who but it happened every time. Even after doing it and learning the consequences every time Sirius could not resist. He was all about the popularity. Him and James. Maybe that was why they didn't want to spend time with Peter, he was in no way popular. The only link with popularity that he had was his friendship with the others. Maybe that would change soon as well.
Peter fell back asleep feeling more mad then sad as he had first felt. He didn't deserve to be treated like that. His birthday was even in a few days and no one had even mentioned it. They had probably all forgotten.
The next morning at breakfast, the others all acted the same, talking happily, even including Peter in the conversation. That continued all day but when he went off to go study in the library and invited them, they declined once again.
The next day, he was walking back to the common room from the library to go grab his quill that he had forgotten. He was walking along the corridor when he heard James's loud voice.
"Just give the map to me," James said.
"You always take it," Sirius complained.
"Just be quieter," Remus said, his voice significantly quieter than the two other boys. "We need to get over there and back before Peter gets back from the library. Otherwise, he'll be suspicious."
"Like we need to take time, Peter will be in the library for a long time. I mean-" James stopped suddenly. Peter had continued walking and they could see him. They were all standing in front of the statue that guarded the secret entrance to a passageway to Hogsmeade.
"Hey Wormtail," James said. "Back from the library so soon?"
"I just came back to get a quill. What are you guys doing?" Peter asked.
"We're trying to get inspired for an essay for Transfiguration." Sirius said. Peter nodded politely and walked past them. That might have worked on pretty much everyone else but Peter knew Sirius too well, that's how he spoke when he had to come up with an excuse when confronted by a teacher. They were actually going to sneak out. James had even been saying that Peter took a long time at the library, he must think that Peter is so stupid. Peter let out an angry sigh and grabbed his quill at the common room before heading back to the common room using a different route so that he wouldn't have to pass his so called friends again. He spent his time studying, finishing up another essay and then returning to the room. Sirius, James and Remus were sitting at the table working on one of the projects.
"Hey Wormtail," Sirius said. "How was your studying?"
"Good, how was your?" Peter asked. "Did you get inspired by that walk?"
"Yeah, we did."
The next day was Peter's birthday. He woke up early when no one else was awake and went down to the common room. There were a few people studying or reading or just relaxing and talking with a friend. There was one girl who Peter had talked to a bit who remembered it was his birthday and wished him a happy birthday. He smiled and thanked her and then sat down with a book. He thought back to Remus's last birthday when James and Sirius along with Peter had woken up really early to set up a big birthday banner and other birthday things. Seemed like Peter wouldn't get anything like that for his birthday. It was Saturday so they got a chance to sleep in and the others didn't get up until later. Peter had gone down to breakfast with two of the other boys from his year. They both wished him a happy birthday. One of them had started to say something about how it was odd that the others had done nothing for his birthday when his friend elbowed him in the side and he shut up. Peter found that strange but didn't question it.
His mom's owl came with sweets and a card. He ate a few of the candied but out of habit put it away. He normally kept it to share with his friends. He wouldn't do that this time, they didn't deserve his candy. He got back to the common room and James, Sirius and Remus were sitting together whispering furiously. When they saw him, they pulled apart and each said hi to him. They never once mentioned his birthday. Sirius mentioned that he had left something on his bed. Maybe they weren't actually being mean to him. Maybe he was just being paranoid. He rushed up to his room and looked on the bed but felt a sigh of dread. It was the book about the centaurs. He picked it up and read James's messy handwriting on a note he had stuck to the front. I put some bookmarks in that you can look at. Those were the pages I had looked at and bookmarked. I also added some notes. Look through. Peter stared at the book in annoyance, this was the closest to a birthday present he would get. James hadn't even put in bookmarks specifically for Peter, they were just the ones he had used previously. Peter sighed and dropped onto his bed. He might as well read it since no one had any plans for his birthday otherwise. There was some useful information that Peter noted down. Once he finished he got up and looked towards the door. Was there even any point in going out? It would just make him feel even madder.
Peter let out an angry sigh. They couldn't stop him from leaving his own dorm. He went to open the door but someone on the other side shoved it closed in his face. Apparently, they could. Remus peeked his head through the door.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to hit you." He said. "There's a medical inspection going on and nobody is allowed to come down." Peter let out a sigh, Remus, unlike Sirius, could not lie. He let out another sigh and shrugged moving away from the door. Remus gave him what could be interpreted as an apologetic look but Peter couldn't really tell. He went back to lay on his bed. Not too long later, Remus peeked his head back in.
"You can come out now," Remus said and he closed the door behind him. Peter would not let them choose when he entered or left the room so he stayed where he was on the bed. Five minutes later James looked in.
"You can come out now," James said. "Didn't Moony tell you that?"
"Yeah." Peter said not looking up from his book.
"So why aren't you coming out here?" James asked.
"I don't feel like it," Peter said with a shrug.
"Well, you're supposed to," James said.
"Says who?" Peter asked.
"Somebody." Peter let out a snort. "Fine, I'll send somebody Padfoot to come get you."
"Why do you care?" Peter asked.
"No reason," James said as he left the room. Peter let out an annoyed sigh and went to the door. He walked out and suddenly he saw a bright banner across the wall and heard a cheer of "Surprise!" The banner read Happy Birthday Wormtail! His friends and most of the Gryffindor students were standing at the bottom of the stairs. Peter felt a flush of embarrassment from everyone staying at him. He did also fell happy, more than happy really.
That night, Peter sat on his bed beside Remus and James and Sirius sat across from them on James's bed.
"Sorry that we were kind of ignoring you," James said. "We went a bit over the top planning this."
"That's okay. But what about a few nights ago? I was asleep and then I woke up and you guys were having a secret discussion." Peter said.
"I saw you wake up," Remus said.
"But your conversation?"
"Sirius made a plan of what to do if you woke up but didn't make it clear you were awake. He also made a plan in case you very clearly stated that you were awake or you just sat up. He made lots of plans for scenarios that never happened," James said with a laugh.
"But you just kept talking," Peter said.
"Yeah," Sirius responded. "You wasted a night of our planning. Thanks a lot." Sirius let out a laugh.
"What about when you were at the statue?"
"We had to go somewhere to get those," Remus said pointing towards a pile of candy and toys that sat on the end of Peter's bed. Peter smiled.
"Thanks for doing all of this for me."
The next morning Peter woke up early again and went to sit downstairs in the common room and surprisingly James woke up soon as well. Peter decided to ask James his one last question.
"Prongs, when you were at the statue you were saying, 'Like we need to take time, Pete will be in the library for a long time.' What did you mean?"
"Oh yeah, I was going to continue by saying, 'I mean, he actually works hard to study and do all of his work.' I had to keep doing my homework late at night in bed using a candle and hoping that it wouldn't light my bed sheets on fire." Peter and James both laughed at that. Finally, Peter felt like he was fully back in their friendship.