I was slightly disappointed with the end of Merlin, not a very strong ending, so I made my own, caution it is sad.
"I've failed." He muttered as he turned from Avalon. He sent Arthur into the water after he had drawn his final breath. Merlin had cried. Of course he had cried. He slumped down on the ground. He had lost many people before. So many people he had known had died. His friends, his family, even people who had been a friend, but not anymore. But none of these losses added up to the feeling of losing Arthur. He never knew anyone like him.
Before he could think about it anymore, he heard something in the surrounding bushes. Merlin slowly turned his head to look at his visitor. Sir Leon gradually made his way down to Merlin, and then looked at the lake. By looking at Merlin's red eyes, and the small boat floating and drifting off towards the island in the middle of the lake he could tell what had happened. "Merlin." He crouched down next to him and pulled him into an embrace. "I couldn't save him. I tried, but I couldn't." He whimpered. "It's alright, you tried, and you got Morgana, that's something." Leon wiped a tear from Merlin's cheek as he drew away.
Leon stood back up and helped Merlin to his feet. "Come on, let's go home." "No." "What?" "No, I can't go back to Camelot. Please. You understand." Leon put his hand on the man's shoulder. "What shall I say?" "Say that Arthur is dead, and that I am also dead, I died defending him, but it wasn't enough. I took Morgana's life in return for Arthur's, I still want my name to mean something." Leon nodded. They met eyes. "Goodbye, Merlin." "Thank you, Leon. You've been such a great friend. If you get a chance, tell Gwaine the same thing." Merlin actually grinned. Leon's face fell. "I'm sorry, but he died as well. Protecting you." Merlin's knees gave out. He fell into Leon's ready arms. "No." Merlin's breath quickened. Leon put him back on his feet. "I'm sorry."
Merlin shook his head. He limped past Leon into the forest. "Merlin!" Leon caught up with him. "You'll be traveling a lot. Take the horse." Leon gestured to his horse a couple yards away. "Thank you." Merlin hopped up and looked at his friend. "Goodbye." He kicked his horse into a trot, heading the opposite direction of Camelot.
Leon headed the other way back to Camelot, cloak billowing in the slight breeze.
When he got there, he went to the Round Table, where everyone who was left had gathered. He had never seen so many empty chairs. Guinevere is by the biggest bare space of them all. She looked up at her childhood friend. He shook his head. "Both Arthur and Merlin are dead. He died protecting Arthur. He took Morgana's life, but it was too late." Gwen burst into tears. She leaned into Gaius, who was right next to her. He looked suspicious, like he didn't believe Leon. The knight tried to avert the physician's eyes, he couldn't bear the guilt that he now carried.
Gwen dismissed everyone in the room when she had gotten a hold of herself.
"Gaius." She called when he turned to leave. "My lady?" "Is he dead? Is he really dead?" "I don't see why Leon would lie about our king not being dead." "What about Merlin?" "He always told me that he would die for Arthur without a second thought, but I never expected him to." Gwen went over and walked into Gaius' ready arms. "You will make a great queen." He whispered.
When he turned to leave again, Gwen asked him one more thing. With a little twisting of words, she now knew who the sorcerer was that saved Camelot.
Gaius went back to his quarters. As he was fixing up something, he noticed how quiet it was. It was so lonely without his boy there making a mess of things. He missed Merlin getting into trouble.
He was halfway through making dinner, Merlin's favorite meal that he had promised him, when he remembered that he had to cut the recipe in half, for only one was eating.
When he was eating, he noticed that Merlin's door was ajar. Did he risk the memories? Gaius stood up and went into the room. It was a right mess. Blankets were strewn all over the bed, spilling onto the floor. He put a hand to his mouth, trying not to cry. The room looked like how it normally did when Merlin had hurried out to assist Arthur in the morning. The floorboard looked like it been hurriedly put back, like he had been using it the night before.
He didn't dare look any more or straighten anything up. He left and closed the door gently behind him. He leaned against the door for a moment as he composed himself.
Gaius finished what he needed to get done before retiring for the night. He gazed out of the window once more, and then with a big sigh that nearly turned into a sob, went to bed and had a restless night.
Merlin was riding through the forest, hands gently holding onto the reins, for his energy was used up. He rocked back and forth with the sway of the walking horse. He rode the path that he walked once going the other direction many years ago. He was a young, naïve boy, who didn't belong anywhere and didn't know what he was about to get into.
Ealdor. He was finally there. It was nighttime, no one was out. He quietly dismounted and led the horse to his mother's house. He tied up the horse by a water trough and a patch of grass.
He slowly walked to the door. He pushed it open and stepped inside. His mother was by the fire, gazing into the flames, a cup in hand. She fearfully turned at the slight noise of the door. Her gaze softened as she recognized her son. "Merlin!" She ran over to him and pulled into a big hug, which he gratefully accepted and returned.
"What are you doing here?" She asked when she pulled away. She kept her hands in his, silently refusing to let him go. "Where is everyone else? Is Arthur there?" She looked over his shoulder. "Arthur is dead." His statement was followed by her stunned silence. "I am so sorry." She led him to a chair. He sat down as she went to the next one.
"Still, why return here? You belong in Camelot." Hunith put her hand on Merlin's. "I cant face them, knowing I let Arthur die-" "No, Merlin. Do not say that. They all know your loyalty to him, you did everything you could." "It wasn't enough." Merlin shook his bowed head. "They'll understand. You saved the rest of the kingdom countless times. And you saved Arthur many times as well. Without you, he would never have made it as far as he did." She explained.
"Here. You must be hungry." She handed him what was left of some stew and a spoon. "Thank you." He croaked and accepted the bowl. He quickly finished it. Hunith couldn't help but to laugh. "I always remembered that you ate a lot growing up. That hasn't changed." She said when she moved to stand behind him, and stroked his hair. "Gaius never liked that I ate a lot, he never got any food to himself." Merlin cracked a smile when he handed the finished bowl back to his mother.
"There's that smile. Now off to bed with you." She shooed him over to bed. "Goodnight, mother." "I love you, Merlin."
Gwen woke up with the sun on her face. She slowly got out of the cold bed. She hadn't slept well at all. Without Arthur, there was no snoring to be heard in the middle of the night, echoing across the entire castle, but also without him, she didn't feel safe and protected like she usually did.
She went about the room and got dressed and ready for the long day.
In the hallway she met up with Gaius. They met sad, empty eyes. "Is it just me, or has it been very quiet since last night?" She asked. "Its very quiet without Arthur and Merlin bickering all day." Gwen gave a little laugh. "True. Even though Merlin is usually fairly quiet." "Not when he's with Arthur." Gaius added.
They headed off in the same direction. Gwen found herself in the stables, Gaius at her side. The stable hand readied two horses for them. "Thank you." Gwen climbed on top of the white one, Gaius on a tawny one.
They silently rode through the forest. "At this time, I'm still half-expecting a comment from Merlin about something." Gwen said, who had ridden with him many times before. "And when he did that, I always had to try not to laugh, or Arthur would get mad at the both of us." Gwen added.
After a while, the two looped back and headed home.
When they had dismounted, they said goodbye and went their own ways. Gaius went down the hall, a very certain destination in mind.
He knocked on the door he came upon. It opened and Sir Leon's face appeared. "Gaius." "May I come in?" "Of course." Leon opened the door enough for him to enter. Leon offered him a chair to sit on, while he went to his bed. "Can I do something for you?" Leon asked. "Yes. One thing to ask you." Leon didn't like where this was going. "Is Merlin really dead?" He asked in a whisper. Leon chose his words carefully. He couldn't lie to Gaius, but he couldn't break his word to Merlin.
His loyalty and friendship to Merlin won out. "Yes. I'm sorry, Gaius." Leon glanced over at him sadly. Gaius looked crushed. He loved Merlin as his own; he had done so much to protect him. "Where is his body?" Gaius asked softly. He wanted proof. "I buried him at the lake side, it was the same lake that he cast Arthur into. I thought he would want to be close to Arthur." "Thank you, Leon. You are a good knight."
Leon looked over at Gaius again. Something seemed to be off. "Is there anything else?" Leon said. "Well, it can't hurt him any more, so I will tell this. He would want you know. He always trusted you." Leon leaned forward in earnest. Merlin never seemed like he was ever hiding something, so it must be good.
"You remember the battle?" Gaius didn't need to name it. "How could I ever forget?" "You know the sorcerer on the hill top that defeated the Saxons and saved us?" "Yes. What about him?" Gaius said nothing, just kept looking at Leon. "No. No. No, no, no. That was him? Merlin is a sorcerer?" Leon gaped at him. "A warlock, yes. And the last Dragonlord. Well, I guess there are none left now." Leon sat back, mouth still wide. "How long have you known this?" The knight asked. "Ever since he first came to Camelot. He's been saving my life as soon as he walked in my door. He has saved everyone's lives countless times." "Even me?" "Even you."
"Who else knew?" Gaius racked his memory. "Lancelot knew. Arthur knew, but only a few days ago." "I would have liked to see his reaction." Leon grinned. "It really was kind of funny. Lets see, ah, Agravaine right before he died." "Did Merlin kill him?" "Yes." Gaius nodded. Merlin didn't seem like a killer, but he would do anything for Arthur. "Mordred knew ever since he first saw him all those years ago. And Uther when his spirit came back." "Now that must have fun to see." Uther frowned upon magic so much, if Arthur had it he might even have killed him.
"Thank you for telling me this, Gaius." "I gave you the truth, and I want yours. I don't believe that Merlin is dead. Please, Leon." Leon sighed after a long moment. "He is still alive." Gaius breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank heavens. Where is he?" "I don't know that. I gave him the horse I had because he seemed to have no strength, he could be anywhere by now."
Gaius stood up. He put his hand on the knight's shoulder. "I will not tell anyone else about Merlin and I would suggest you do the same. We don't want to confuse anyone." Gaius said and walked out the room.
He made it through the day a lot more better off knowing that Merlin was out there still. Out there somewhere.
Merlin woke up and at first wondered where he was. He rolled over to face the room he was in. He saw his mother's face looking at him from across the space. He sat up and clamped a hand to his head. "Ooh." "Good morning, Merlin." "Mother!" She was sitting at the table, there were two bowls, one in front of her and the other was waiting for him.
He grinned and got up to make his way to the table. Hunith grabbed his hand as he walked by. "I missed you." "I did to." He went and sat across from her and began to eat.
When he finished, he gathered the bowls and put them to wash. "What are you going to tell the people about me?" Merlin started. "I'm not sure. We have time." "Not if they see the horse. It has Camelot stuff. They might think a knight or something is here, it was Leon's horse before he gave it to me."
Hunith fumbled with the cup she held as she thought. "Its still dark, I could take everything that has to do with Camelot off and set it free." Merlin suggested. "Okay, but hurry, I don't want anyone to see you right now."
Merlin nodded and rushed out the door. He quickly took the saddle off and everything else and set it off. It quickly took off towards the forest before anyone stepped outside their doors.
Once back inside, he put the things away and sat down at the table again. "Mother?" "Hmm?" She looked up from the ground. "What's on your mind?" He reached across the table and grabbed her hands. "Oh, nothing, dear." "Yes there is. I know that look. Gaius is very good at catching me do that." She smiled at the comment.
"You need to go back to Camelot. You belong there. Not here anymore." She shook her head and dropped eye contact. "No, I don't belong anywhere any more." "Merlin, Camelot needs you. Your gift is useless here. You don't know this, but they will still want you when they know how you are. They won't care. Gaius didn't care, he loves you, I love."
Merlin looked up at his mother. "I don't know. I'll think about it."
There was a ceremony held the next day. Leon stood up in front of everyone. "The king is dead." A stunned silence filled the hall of everyone who didn't already know. "Long live the queen." He faced Guinevere who sat on the throne with her crown, looking straight ahead. "Long live the queen!" The hall echoed the chant.
Leon met eyes with Gaius, he was serious with the secret that they shared. Merlin was alive, the last time he checked. Who knows, maybe Merlin just rode until his body had given up. Maybe Merlin is lying under a bush, lifeless eyes reflecting the sky. Leon began to choke up at the image and he stepped down, silently dismissing everyone from the room.
Gwen stood up and met up with Gaius. "What is wrong with Leon? He seems troubled ever since he came back." "Everyone suffered from Arthur's death, especially Leon, he has known Arthur for many years. Let him be." Gaius sympathetically smiled and backed from the room. Gwen fingered the ring that she now had, her last physical connection to Arthur.
A knight walked up to her. "M'lady, it is time." She nodded and he stepped away. She went down to the courtyard. There were three piles of wood. One for Arthur, one for Merlin, and the last for Gwaine.
Everyone said their final words and the piles were lit. Gwaine's was the only one that had a body burning. Percival was the one to bring it back. Each pile was stacked with little things that were special to them. Gaius made sure that not too much was set on Merlin's, he might come back someday and need them. Gwaine's had his sword wrapped in his cloak, along with a bottle of liquor that sparked when lit. Arthur's sword and everything were at wherever he died, he didn't have much now. Merlin never had much to begin with, but a single blue scarf tied to a vertical stick, like a flag, turning red, then black in the flames.
After a while, the townsfolk had left, some muttering words of encouragement to Guinevere.
A few more minutes, most of the knights and the rest of the people left.
Then all who were left was Gwen, Gaius, and Leon. They stared into the flickering flames. Gwen looking at three piles, while Gaius and Leon saw only two.
"I know that you were very close to Merlin." Gwen began. "He never asked for credit after all those things he has done for us. Do you think there is anything he would want?" Gwen looked at Gaius. "You now know what gifts Merlin possessed, I think the only thing he would ever ask for is that you allow magic back in Camelot. That is all he ever worked for. Getting Arthur to be king, and freeing his people." Gwen nodded. "I know how much the kingdom frowns upon magic. I will choose my words carefully and make the amendment as soon as I can." "Merlin would thank you." Gaius bowed and turned away from the dwindled piles of smoky wood.
Gwen stayed for only a moment more, and then left as the fires burnt out. She headed back to her chambers and sat at the desk. She pulled out a piece of parchment, quill, and uncapped the inkwell. She dipped the quill and thought of what to write. She had to phrase the freeing of magic carefully. Most people think that magic is all bad, like Uther and probably many others. With the freeing of magic, the people who have it will have no large reason to attack the kingdom like they did before, we can all live in peace. Gwen smiled at the thought of what Merlin would say if he knew that magic would soon be allowed.
She rested the tip on the parchment, and then began to write.
Merlin was sitting in the small house, reading a book that his mother gave him. She was out and about doing what she normally did during the day. Merlin was cooped up in the house, she didn't want him being seen by the rest of Ealdor yet and raising suspicion.
He could only go out in the dead of the night when no one was around to see him.
On his first night when he went outside, he instinctually went to the place that he met up with Will at when they were little. They would do the same thing he was doing now. Sneaking out in the middle of the night. What they did was unpredictable. Something different each night.
He now sat on the small log and put his head on his hands, elbows resting on his knees. The log was out of sight when you're in the village. If anyone was up, no one would see him unless they looked for him. That's why Will picked this spot. A secret hiding place that no one will find you is what every little boy dreams of. Someplace to run away to. That's what Merlin needs. He had no idea who is left. He doesn't even know if Gaius is still alive. He really would have nowhere to go. He would just live the rest of his life here, working the fields.
Merlin had spent the rest of his first night out sitting there, recalling all his childhood memories in Ealdor. He had wondered what Arthur's life had been as a little kid. It was hard to imagine the mighty king as a small child. He gave a small laugh at the picture that came to mind.
He gave a small shiver against the pressing cold that accompanied the loneliness.
Should he go back to Camelot? Maybe his mother was right. He doesn't have a place here, but he does at Camelot. He stood back up as the first sun rays were poking into the forest.
Merlin recalled this when a part of the book reminded him of his predicament.
It was late afternoon when Hunith returned. "Hello, Merlin." "Welcome back, mother. Good day?" She nodded. He set the book down and walked over to her and she pulled him into an embrace. "I was going to make dinner, but I didn't." Merlin didn't even come up with an excuse. Hunith laughed. "That's alright. You can help." She got everything together and Merlin helped in anyway he could.
They ate and got ready for the night. Hunith added some logs to the fire then turned to her son. "Merlin, when you go out tonight could you get some more wood for me?" "Of course."
Hunith went to bed and Merlin put on his jacket and went out the door when the last of the daylight was gone.
He quickly hid when someone was still outside. They went into their house, and Merlin dashed by. It felt weird hiding from the people he grew up with. He went into the forest and began gathering the larger pieces of wood and put them all in a pile by the edge of the forest.
After he had gotten plenty enough, he levitated it back to the house. He opened the door and backed into the house. His mother was sound asleep. Merlin grabbed one piece at a time from the air and set it in a pile by the fireplace. He put the last few onto the fire and went to bed after he hung up his coat and kicked off his shoes and changed into his nightwear.
When Merlin passed by his mother on the way to his own bed, she opened one eye. "Thank you, dear." Hunith whispered. Merlin smiled and nodded and went to bed.
News had spread that the queen was going to make her first declaration to the people.
Guinevere had prepared her speech that she was going to give. Gaius had stopped by to wish her luck and that she is doing the right thing. She made her way to the courtyard balcony where all announcements were given. The people had all gathered to watch. A few guards were positioned throughout the group. Everyone was talking and milling about to kill time.
When she was ready, everybody quieted down and turned to look at the queen.
Gwen took out the parchment where she had written everything down, glanced at it, and began.
"On the night that Camelot defeated the Saxons, there was a terrible loss." No one needed to say who it was, everyone knew who she meant. "The truth is, it wasn't only our knights that had saved us. The Saxons had an advantage, Morgana and her magic. Magic was almost our downfall, but it was our savior. A nameless sorcerer was on our side. At that battle he appeared on top of the mountain. He defeated Morgana and helped us drive the Saxons out and win the fight. Without him, we would have lost much more that what we did." The people looked around, wondering where this was going.
"After the battle, he disappeared without a word. He didn't ask for thanks or any sort of credit or reward. I think he was scared that we would kill him if we found him because of what he is. I know I could not kill someone who saved the kingdom." She looked at all the people, silently daring them to speak. None did.
"I think he deserves our gratitude. The only thing I can give him would be his freedom and the freedom of his kin. I hereby decree that magic is no longer outlawed, but welcomed in Camelot. All those who were gifted with magic do not need to hide, but can be who they are." A murmur passed through the crowd. They knew how dangerous magic could be, but the queen had a point.
"But do be warned. If you use your magic to hurt anyone or the law, the punishments will be the same as they were. If you do not use magic in these ways, you have nothing to fear anymore. You are safe, and so are we."
Her speech was met with stunned silence. Magic has been outlawed for a long time, who knew that the queen's first action would be to undo all that Uther worked for. She better have a reason for doing this.
Merlin was starting to get cabin fever from staying in one place all day, and only going out in darkness. He rolled onto his stomach on the bed. He slept through the day to pass the time, and it gave him more time to go out at night.
Hunith would get back when the sun started to slip away behind the hills. She opened the door, her son looked up to make sure that it was her. He had been here about a week now, and no one else knows that he is here.
She smiled at ruffled his hair as he sat up on the bed. They talked a little through dinner, and then Merlin got ready to go out while his mother got ready for bed. "See you in the morning." He whispered and ducked out of the house.
He stuck to the shadows and dashed into the forest. He was getting better at finding his way through the dark. He loved to walk and listen to the night forest noises. Merlin wandered around hands in pockets for hours, but always being able to find his way back before the sun came up.
That next day, while Merlin was fast asleep, news spread through the small village.
Hunith burst into the home. "Merlin!" He woke up suddenly, and very confused. It wasn't even close to nighttime, why was he being woken? Hunith saw her son's baffled expression and went to sit on the bed to explain. "There is news from Camelot." She began. Merlin rolled over so his back was facing her. "I don't want to hear it." He mumbled. "Yes, you do." Curiosity taking over, Merlin moved to face his mother. "What is it?" "Gwen has allowed magic back in Camelot, you are free to go back!" She brushed the raven hair out of his face while he processed the information.
"I don't understand." He finally got out. "What's not to understand? You are free to go back to Camelot." She shook her head lovingly. "What if they don't want me back?" "Do you really think they'd free magic and not want you back? None save Gaius knows, they would want you back no matter what. It's a message for you, telling you to return." She smiled and stood up as Merlin swung into a seated position.
"You really think I should go?" "Your gift is wasted here, there it will be cherished." His mother helped Merlin to wary feet.
He looked up at her with renewed light in his dark blue eyes. "Alright. But help me pack." Hunith smiled and pulled him into a hug.
It didn't take long to gather everything for the trip back to Camelot. He remebered Arthur saying to him 'I want you to always be you.' "Too bad you don't have that horse." She laughed. "Nah, I'll be fine. I can walk. I did it all those years ago." He smiled at the memories of leaving Ealdor for the first time, not knowing what would happen, what he would become, and who he would meet. He had made friends in the most unlikeliest of places. Who could have guessed that a simple boy like him would become so close to the Once and Future King? And that he would befriend a dragon, and keep the race going by hatching another one?
The walk back was filled with all of his happy memories in Camelot. Lifeless faces never even entered his mind until he got to the gates.
When he came up to them, so familiar, grief seized him. It was late afternoon, the sun began to slip behind the hills as he approached the castle. Tears began to fill his eyes as he walked through the castle hallways, one destination in mind. He was so focused he didn't even notice the gasps and murmurs of people he passed by. People who thought that he was dead.
Once he got to that door, he stood in front of it for several minutes; thinking of what he was gong to say. Nothing came so he wiped his face one last time and slowly opened the door.
In the room, he was instantly hit with the smells that he so dearly remembered. And at the dinner table, sat Gaius. His back was to the door, so he didn't see him. Merlin gulped and slowly walked towards him. He was about halfway there when Gaius turned around. They met eyes for several seconds. Merlin's nervous ones meeting with Gaius' ones filled with disbelief.
Gaius rushed over, faster than Merlin had ever remembered seeing him move. He pulls him into a great embrace like the ones he always had waiting for Merlin when he got back form an exceedingly dangerous adventure. "Welcome home." Gaius finally released him. Merlin was smiling. He was home.
Gaius gestured towards the table. "I told you I would have your favorite waiting."
Hope that's a good ending for you. This was my first angsty story. Tell me what you think! Too much? Too little?