Hey folks :D
So this is my first FF to be posted a.) in English and b.) on this website. The idea I'm dealing with is "what would happen if Shuichi didn't always run right back to Yuki Eiri after being thrown out of the house?" I guess at least Yuki is ooc; Shuichi may be developing into ooc. More mature and so on ;) I haven't planned everything yet. I'm playing with the idea of a kidnapped Shuichi though. I'd hate if I had to make him die and to kidnap Yuki wouldn't make Yuki any more loving towards Shuichi … because that's what I want to achieve, a more loving Yuki and a
happy Shuichi :)
I don't know anything about genres, although I guess it won't be comedy. So I figured I'd call it hurt/comfort and romance. For I hope it will get romantic some time. And I also have no idea about ratings and if I'm able to change them again, so I rated it M because I'll definitely add at least one lemon scene to my "work of art".
… and maybe I'll make Shu or Yuki a little suicidal … and if I do so, I will go into detail, sorry for that. And sorry because I'm not used to writing, I didn't really write that much in my life, except of course for school and so on, so I do not have much practice in showing somebody's feelings and of course I did not often write descriptions of sex for my essays at school, let alone between boys ;) so they may not sound perfect. So, I apologize for this.
Uhm, and Shuichi read Harry Potter … if only to admit that even the Dursley's didn't treat HP as bad as Yuki treats Shuichi … :)
Also I am not a native speaker of the English language and thus I may sound a little … awkward sometimes. If I have major errors in spelling or use a word or two wrongly, please tell me, so I can fix my errors as to not torture my readers with them :)
I hope it is okay how I switch the point of view. If you need some kind of marker, just tell me and I'll add something :)
Enjoy your read and leave a review if you have something you want to tell me :) I'm happy for every criticism and every insult as well ;)
And I of course do neither claim any characters nor places of this story :)
This Chapter has been updated on October 8th, 2010, kindly revised by Amanda
Thank you again :) And sorry for taking so much time :(
I just edited a little logical mistake today (25th March 2011)
LG
Ina
"Get out! Just get out of my apartment. You're an annoying little brat. Leave and don't come back. I can't stand you anymore. Your voice, the way you dress, everything. Just take your stuff and leave! Now!" Shuichi was being yelled at by Yuki. He had – again – disturbed Yuki's writing – knowing that the author would be pissed off by that.
He didn't deserve better, did he?
Yes he did, (sigh) but Yuki had already made him leave. Shuichi had left, tears glistering in his eyes, but not yet streaming down his face freely. He had mumbled "If you really want me to leave, I'll go … goodbye, Yuki-san" It had sounded so … so … finite. As if Shuichi wasn't coming back at all again. That was good. Yuki wanted that,
didn't he?
No, he didn't. But he would never confess this to anyone, let alone Shuichi himself. So now Yuki was alone and the apartment was silent. It was the perfect writing condition. So why the fuck wasn't there words spilling from his mind into his newest romance novel? Was he worried about Shuichi? No, never. He hated that little brat. Well, no, not really, but it was easier to kick him out with the impression of this in his mind.
Why would he do this in the first place? Why did Yuki always yell at his little Shuichi? It's not like he wasn't in love with Shuichi … albeit he never told Shuichi this in words, or gestures, or looks, or any other way he could think of.
Shuichi was with Hiro, there was no doubt, but Yuki would never find the courage to call Hiro – let alone Shuichi – to make his little baka come home. It was hard to imagine, but if Shuichi wanted to stay away, he might just let him go. Yes, it would be his fault, yes he would be sad to never see the little one again, but wasn't it better if Shuichi stayed away from him? At least for Shuichi? Yuki knew and always had known that his past and Kitazawa was not something he could ever forget and that it would haunt their relationship. In fact everything Yuki did to
Shuichi was a consequence of Kitazawa. Yuki had built an icy fortress around his heart back then, after the incident with Kitazawa. It had taken some time, but it eventually was there.
Until Yuki had met Shuichi. Shuichi had managed to make Yuki pull down the drawbridge, at least a little; at least sometimes. Shuichi had found a way into Yuki's heart. How was that possible? Yuki didn't know himself. He never wanted it to happen. But how could he not like that stupid little child? He was a cute little person and in some ways Yuki's exact counterpart. Not to speak of his body. He was … delicate … almost fragile … and so adorable … the lusty look in those purple eyes made his stomach twist and his knees go weak … and it made him horny. Yes, horny. He could never deny his little Shuichi for long. He had tried, hard – very hard – to suppress this feeling growing inside him but eventually failed every time.
Where was Shuichi now? Yuki asked himself. To find an answer to that question would be simple, if he would have been up to it. He would never call Shuichi – or Hiroshi, his hiding-place – to tell him that he didn't really mean what he said. As if Yuki really wanted Shuichi to leave! The apartment was too big for one person alone, to tell the truth it was the most rational reason for Yuki not waning Shu to leave. But the reason that mattered more – and was by far the better reason – was that Yuki felt alone without his little baka. But it was not only that he was
alone, it was also the fact that he couldn't focus at all if Shuichi wasn't near (or at least coming back). If Yuki didn't know where Shuichi was, he got worried, extremely worried. Actually, he was about to go out of mind right now.
Hell, what had he been thinking?
Shuichi made his decision. He would not go back to Yuki. Not unless he'd was shown some kind of affection. Shuichi realized he didn't want to be treated like a little dog any longer. Thrown away, hit and beaten, kicked and sent away, but still coming back home, like he had forgotten. The decision had grown over the last forty-six minutes while he had talked to Hiro. Hiro, of course wanting only the best for Shuichi and – surprise, surprise – even showing that he did so, had told Shuichi to rethink his relationship with Yuki and how it affected Shu that Yuki
was always cold as ice, or even impossibly colder.
Shuichi always claimed that Yuki was a good person, that he loved him, and that all of this was not what Yuki really wanted but that it was because of the stress, deadlines, lack of coffee, sex and/or cigarettes. "But what about you, Shu?" Hiro had asked. "Do you want to be kicked around? Do you want to be treated like … well, like this? Do you really want a relationship with someone who only acknowledges and appreciates your presence when he wants to get into your pants?" At first Shuichi wanted to object, but after rethinking he – the first time since he had met Yuki Eiri – found Hiro's worries and questions to be, well, worth rethinking, for, Yuki, in fact treated him like …well like shit, except of course when he wanted sex.
Thus Shuichi had decided to stay away from Yuki, at least for this night. If Yuki didn't try to contact or find him, he would visit Yuki one last time. To get his stuff and to tell Yuki that he was not going to beg to be taken back, but that Shuichi was going to get himself a place to live. On his own. Without Yuki. Shuichi winced internally at the thought of never seeing Yuki again, but Hiro was right, Yuki had never even considered Shuichi to be any kind of a partner, or something like a "boyfriend". He had never told Shuichi that he loved him. Hell, he had never even said that Shuichi wasn't a waste of space … and that wasn't even Harry Potter in Dudley Dursley's eyes.
Shuichi had spent the night at Hiro's place. When Yuki didn't made an attempt to contact Shuichi at 6pm when he was about to leave the NG building Shuichi decided that it was time to get his stuff and to move into a Hotel room.
The doorbell rang. "Thank goodness" was all Yuki could think when he heard the sound. He was sure that it was Shuichi standing outside that door. The little one had forgotten his keys. Yuki had been a little worried.
Yuki opened the door, in front of him stood a confident looking Shuichi. "May I come in?" he asked coolly.
Yuki was confused. When had Shuichi ever asked permission to come in? "If you have to" he answered.
"I just want to get my stuff and then I'll be gone, Yuki-kun. If my presence bothers you, you may as well hand me everything while I wait outside." What was going on? Was it really Shuichi standing before him? Yuki shook his head unbelievingly.
"Come in" he murmured. Shuichi nodded and rushed in. He hurried through the rooms, gathering his stuff in a small travel bag. Yuki watched him curiously although his face wasn't showing any kind of emotion. When Shuichi was finished he rushed to the door and called a "Goodbye, Yuki-kun" over his shoulder and … was gone.
Shuichi was gone. There was nothing left of him inside this oversized apartment. Yuki all but collapsed onto the floor when he realized that Shuichi had been serious. "What have I done?" was all he could murmur while he held his cup of coffee in his hands and felt his eyes water. He wiped his eyes. He would never cry.
Unlike Shuichi who was crying right now. He had made it to a Hotel nearby, had checked in and had made it to the room, closed the door behind him … and he had collapsed on the huge bed.
For several days he did not go near his band, in fact he would go near anybody; he would not even eat or drink, let alone speak to anyone. Not even to K who somehow had managed to find him and held his Magnum to Shuichi's head three days after Shu had collected his stuff to make him speak and come back to NG. Luckily Hiro had come in the second before K shot Shuichi and had told him that Shuichi had broken up with Yuki. That had made Shuichi cry out loud and K dropped his gun and left. He had figured that it was no use threatening Shuichi in this condition.
And with this I'd like to end this chapter. I'll go on as soon as possible. I have to show how Yuki's doing :)
Goodbye for now,
Ina