disclaimer: without prejudice. the names of all characters contained here-in are the property of FOX and Ryan Murphy. no infringments of these copyrights are intended, and are used here without permission.
author's notes: based on a Lois/Clark scene from Smallville. let's pretend it all makes sense?
I See You;;
"Ouch!" he yelps as Sebastian applies a butterfly bandage to the cut over his eye. "Careful."
Sebastian smiles, though he suspects he's laughing at him, rather than sympathizing with his plight. They're down in the mail room located in the basement, a corner reserved for emergencies like paper cuts or stapler accidents, supplies for tension headaches and an array of other ails caused by the stress of the press room. He's never been down here because he got punched in the face by a potential source.
"Was it worth it?" his boyfriend asks, replacing the supplies in the first-aid kit. "Getting punched for a story?"
"To find out more about The Flash?" He grins, but it quickly slides into a grimace when his skin pulls around the wound cleaved into his forehead. "Definitely."
Sebastian turns his back, putting the first-aid kit back on its designated shelf. "And did you–find anything?"
He smiles sadly, a much truer sentiment than the one Sebastian demonstrated, "No," he says and stands up, unbalanced for a few seconds.
"I'm sorry," Sebastian says, before facing him again, his eyes expressing the proper sentiment this time around: sad, longing, and the most excruciating sense of relief.
He can't imagine what it must be like for Sebastian, walking around with this huge secret that for some reason he can't bring himself to share with anyone, not even his boyfriend. It used to bug him, they fought about it, Sebastian's mysterious calls in the middle of the night, his excuses for showing up late or not at all, his initial reluctance to start dating when they'd both long known about their feelings for each other.
But then late one winter's night one of Professor Zoom's experiments upturned the city and he'd gone out when he shouldn't have. The Flash had kept him out of harm's way, before half-assing an excuse that sounded too much like a goodbye, like he might not survive the night. He'd begged for answers, told his knight in red that Central City would always need him. That he needed him.
The Flash had hesitated, stood tall in the shadows undecided on what to do, leave without another word, or stick around to–to what? Instead The Flash had closed the distance between them faster than his eyes could register, raised his hands to his face and pressed their lips together, kissing him in the darkness of an alleyway while the city threatened to fall apart around them. One last kiss before he faced the enemy.
And how could Sebastian have believed he wouldn't be able to tell, that the lips touching his could be anyone's but his boyfriend's, the boy he'd known for years, the boy he'd been dating for close to a year, who'd charted every inch of his body and spoken sweet whispers into his skin until the early morning light.
How could he have possibly been fooled?
Every night since then had been a quiet struggle, should he tell Sebastian that he knew, or should he wait until Sebastian trusted him enough to share his deepest secrets? It's been months now, and no matter how many hints he send Sebastian's way there's still a distance between them that doesn't have to be there. Because The Flash and Sebastian were the same, one didn't diminish the other, no, in fact they strengthened each other, and the love he'd felt for The Flash and Sebastian previously melded together into one he thought could one day crack him wide open.
He'd practiced the speech in front of a mirror plenty of times, confessing his realization and how everything had fallen into place once he figured out that the man he loved and the hero he admired were one and the same person–it all made sense now. But he'd never found the right moment to tell Sebastian. Sebastian had never let him get far enough to confess.
Maybe today would be different. They're alone, Sebastian seems to have his guard down, maybe it's time he gives it another try.
"Sometimes I feel like I know him," he says, just as Sebastian takes hold of one of his hands. So far so good. "Because we have this special bond. It's kind of like what we have. Because I–"
He laughs nervously, and stares down at his hands. "God, I wish you were a mirror."
It's crazy, he's stood up to his boss and to politicians, he's stood face to face with super villains without so much as flinching, but his hands have never shaken this way, his anxiety somehow sunk into his bones and scrambling up his insides so the words get stuck.
"What I'm really trying to say to you is that..." –he stares up into Sebastian's eyes, The Flash's eyes, his boyfriend's eyes, beautiful green flushed with a hint of panic that mirrors his own– "I know you."
"But you don't know The Flash." Sebastian averts his eyes. "He's probably keeping it a secret for a reason."
Tears sting at the corners of his eyes, panic quelled by the painful punch of disappointment. "He's never going to tell me, is he?"
Sebastian doesn't look up. "Not if it means putting your life at risk."
And he wants to shout it out right there and then, how he already knows so it doesn't matter, the only thing standing between them is their reluctance to admit it to each other. But more than anything he just wishes Sebastian trusted him enough to share his secret with him. Because nothing could convince him that Sebastian doesn't love him.
He takes a careful step closer, taking a deep breath to keep his tears under control. Sebastian finds his eyes, a frown creasing between his eyebrows. "I wish he knew that I was willing to take that risk," he says softly, but as soon as the words are out Sebastian casts his eyes down again, and it's like there's an abyss stretched out between them.
He nods to himself and pushes past Sebastian, releasing his hand, and presses the button on the wall to call the elevator down.
"It's not easy, Blaine," Sebastian's voice sounds behind him. "I've been afraid of people knowing the truth about me. Afraid of them rejecting me and even if they didn't still losing them. I've been afraid of everything I can't control."
The elevator doors open in front of him, but his feet remain welded to the ground, held in place by the rhythm of his heartbeat, steadily speeding up.
"But I've realized there's something I would regret more than anything else, and that's not telling you the truth about me."
He turns around, and doesn't try to control the tears this time.
"Because that's the only way we could share a life together," Sebastian says. "I know the odds are stacked against us and we'd be risking everything. But if you're ready to take that leap, there's no one else I would rather take it with."
The elevator closes again behind him.
"Blaine, it's me."
He swallows hard, his heart too big to contain, but he waits, patiently, for Sebastian to face him again, for him to say it like he's always dreamed he would, to confess not only his love but also his earnest and deep trust in him. It's a lot to ask, and he's been asking for a long time, but Sebastian's right, his secret is the only thing standing in their way to forever.
"I'm The Flash."
His heart leaps and his feet break free and before he knows it he's running over to jump into Sebastian's arms, the force of their bodies colliding sending them tumbling backwards. "Ouch!" Sebastian exclaims as they land on the stack of mail in the center of the room, loose pieces of paper shooting up around them like confetti. "Caref–"
He presses his lips to Sebastian's, thighs locked tight around Sebastian's hips, the body beneath him relaxing immediately. "What took you so long?" he breathes against Sebastian's mouth, but he never gives Sebastian a chance to answer, lips drawn down again and he kisses his boyfriend deep and slow, deciding this is enough for now. Sebastian trusts him. And they have forever to figure things out.
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