(A/N: I am in no good states right now, so I am might not make any sense and yeah, it is circumstances, nothing out of character really)
Oh yeah, this was how he wanted things, it was him, his warehouse and finally, his luck reminding him of its existence, Benkei wasn't around, he had missed times like these, he won't stop being bothered otherwise, no matter what but this time, it was more than about being bothered. Kyoya was done destroying things around and now Leone rested by him on the steel bar. It was cold and so every metal object felt to be frozen and needlessly it was dark but not the slightest of it had an effect on him.
How about worse? You can always be worse; they would have to stop then.
It had been quite some time now that he was considering it. Considering? This sort of considering, the mentally tortured into having to do something but consideration was involved.
They were defeating him, he was going to lose and he couldn't bear it. It started off small, informal and unlike anything Kyoya would be paying attention to.
It was King boasting about how he could defeat Nemesis—alone, he had defiled the precious word with his filthy tongue of course but the devil may care.
'No one could' Tsubasa had told.
'Except Kyoya' Benkei argued, the words were decorated with praises for him but that was the lot that even meant anything and there came something that Kyoya couldn't help but declare false.
'Gingka couldn't, Benkei, no one can' Tsubasa's ever so calm voice produced. 'Even an island relies on its resources. Everyone at some point needs someone else and it's inevitable'
Gingka had ended it with a lighter note speaking about how finally the crisis was over and they could Beyblade happily once again but Kyoya never got over it. He needed no one, no one, no one at all. He could suffer alone but couldn't ever afford to be dependent on Gingka and his friends, no he couldn't. but
It's inevitable. Life does not allow that
NO!
Why Kyoya, why not? You're human not a god, accept that you're not strong enough
He could practically hear the words, he was paralyzed, and he felt no more but his soul thrashing with rage. He wasn't strong enough for a life he wanted. He wasn't capable of the independence that was the base of his pride. He needed them.
They were there with arms reaching for him, smiles on their faces and their genuinely kind words were always there to console him.
And you would once need it all. You would have no choice but to let things go how they want
NO, NEVER
Haven't you lately been with them? Are you afraid? You shouldn't be if you argue with me. You need them; one of them stays with you. How come are you able to be so foolish?
It was becoming unbearable, harder to put with, any moment he was going to break down and be in states he feared.
He knew he could always silence this, though; the connection was fragile if there was any between him and this voice. He could have been making up the words himself for it wasn't a voice his ears had provided, it was something inside him. Something weak, something he could fight, something he could always snap away and get over it like he never heard it but he couldn't.
He was denying what it was, a fear. He knew what it said was true, he was realizing it and things were getting a more horrifying face as he did.
'What are you?' He asked hiding any sign of weakness that could be detected.
I could be Satan, I could be you, I could be your wisdom or I could be believing whom you could regret but above all, you can see that I don't lie
Not Kyoya, it wasn't him or nothing in his control. He could open his eyes, Leone was there and he was fine but was it bringing his worry to an end? Could he dismiss it and will he never be relying on someone? Inevitable, would it not then be?
You're a mess, you're hunting for an alternative, hurrying to every direction you see but what for when I stand at the end of each of them? You are escaping Kyoya and I am not your enemy.
He had gone mad, yes, he had and he could feel it as he was playing this self-destructive game now.
'What are you then?'
The reality, a reality that challenges you. You need people, that certain group of people. You can either keep them away or when the suffering will come, you will weaken as much as being into their care. Stop it before it occurs. Stop it if you can.
Kyoya didn't answer now. He was mad, he knew. He had given up fighting himself so why not do what he says; at least a defeat from himself was better than one from others. He could be worse, he could keep them away.
Go for the most cherished, go for the influence of others and it will all come gift-wrapped.
"Gingka Hagane," Kyoya said. He was smiling and feeling strong suddenly. He would do as reality wants, he won't escape, escaping was for wimps and he wasn't one.
He stepped out of the warehouse carrying a heavy head; he began walking without any thoughts. The cold felt good against his bare arms, the stars in the sky glowed bright and the smell of the grasses was bitter and sharp from a house nearby.
Some joys had taken him, in fact, his mood was lightened, he left like jumping down something for the sake movement, he started enjoying it. He was mad.
He went to the b-pit where Madoka, Kenta, Gingka and Benkei were and stood at the window until everyone came to know he was there. Ignoring the rest he beckoned Gingka to come out. Others exchanged words with him which he couldn't hear because of being outside and then Gingka exited.
"Come with me" was all he said before walking back. Gingka had asked several questions and he had answered them all never revealing anything real. He wasn't acting like himself, what he acted like was too cheery for him, he had done as much as praising the sights and Gingka was both shocked and confused
"Kyoya, something's wrong, " He said finally. "You are behaving strangely"
"Don't you like it? I and you are good friends right?" He asked smiling. "So there should be times we act like friends, don't you think?"
"Kyoya?" flabbergasted, he was.
"Ah forget it, help me now will you?" Yes, that's right.
"W-what do I do?"
"Come" They stepped in the warehouse and Kyoya settled himself again a wall. Gingka sat by curious as hell.
"Now answer me, " Kyoya said. "Will you be there for me when I need you, will you and everyone else be?"
"O—of course, Kyoya, why are you asking?"
It angered him, he wanted to do it now.
"Something made me wonder, I wanted to be sure"
"What?"
"Will you all be there in any condition? Even if I am rude?"
"What are saying Kyoya, we will be no matter what, you're being awkward, pal."
"And if I have done bad to you all? If I don't deserve your being there or if I don't want you to be there? Will you still be? Will you not loathe me?"
"No never"
Wait Kyoya not yet.
"Gingka? Do you want to know what is wrong?"
"Tell me Kyoya"
"Tsubasa says you can't survive alone, I don't like it, Gingka, reality wants me to fight it and it is disturbing me"
"Kyoya, be clear, man, what reality?"
"I don't know, it talks to me, it's as horrible as you all but it is wise, wiser than me"
Gingka was terrified, something had hit Kyoya in the head. "Tell me from the start, what did it say?" He asked in hope of understanding better.
"I am a loner, loners are freaks, they don't like being talked to but he won't stop, he is like Benkei. He says I will suffer at some time of my life. That's true, isn't it? bad times come right?"
Gingka was going to take action, he needed a doctor but for now "Yes"
"And he says I will need you all to help and I don't want it. Will you be there for me?"
That very line was messing with Gingka's brain.
"Yes"
"He says to stop you, and that is where I disagreed with him. I was right, right?"
"Yes…."
"But then he turned out to be correct, I don't need you ok? I am a loner and I can keep you back. He even told me how to do it. You know what he said?"
"Tell me"
Gingka's eyes were lowered and his face was stern as he was disappointed over what had happened and he had decided quickly that he needed a therapist, he should surely call the adults, Kyoya was out of his mind.
"Go for the most cherished, go for the influence of others and it will all come gift-wrapped"
Gingka sat still and a minute passed without a sound and then gasped, his eyes opened wide and thoughts came and went.
"What do you want to do with me, Kyoya?"
"You got it Gingka." He took a hold of Gingka's neck and made him face the wall without ever moving his body. It was a quick and easy death for him. Kyoya smiled
'Time to suffer now isn't it? But I proved you wrong' He said staring at Gingka's popped out eyes.
What am I do you know?
'Not me right, anything but me, you are reality and you are no more real'
Kyoya laughed, loud and hysterical.
Mad….
Ok I am now totally confused, I was depressed and this all weird but for some reason, I feel better now
