Privacy was a rare and treasured privilege on the Thousand Sunny.
The ladies had some extent of it with the cosy cabin they shared.
The men on their hammocks, had virtually none.
It hadn't really been an issue when Sanji hadn't been able to hear Ace, but now, Sanji wanted to make up for the lost time. He wanted to talk to Ace, out loud in the close confines of the pantry they hid in, the sick bay, the crow's nest, the bathroom, or the aquarium bar, but he didn't want someone to stumble in on them and overhear Sanji talking to himself like a madman. That could potentially be a problem for sure, so most of the time, Sanji snuck out in the middle of the night, just to be sure they would be assured of their privacy.
Right now, Sanji was lying spread eagled on the observation deck, an almost empty bottle of wine beside him, letting the alcohol and gentle sway of the waves rock him into a semi-conscious state. The fingers of his left hand were intertwined with Ace's, while he lazily puffed on a cigarette in his right, blowing concentric smoke rings in the air, as they stared at the stars scattered across the velvet sky above. The citrusy scent of Nami's oranges hung heavy in the air above them, and although tempting, Sanji would never dare take an orange without Nami's express permission. Sanji wasn't exactly hidden from view, but he was fairly certain no one would come up here at this late hour. Well even if they did, all they would see was Sanji drinking and smoking alone.
He wasn't quite drunk yet, but the alcohol had surely done its work, relaxing him to the point where he felt flushed, breathless and almost giddy, but in a good way.
Although come to think of it, perhaps it was Ace who was making him giddy.
He sneaked a peek at Ace beside him, only to see the other man staring at him intently.
"What-," Sanji began, but didn't get a chance to finish as Ace stole his cigarette from his lips, and rolled on top of him, to press his own lips to Sanji's.
Ace's kiss tasted just like the cigarette that had left Sanji's lips. It tasted of ashes, heat, fire, and sheer passion. Everything about Ace blazed so brightly.
It was with some difficulty that Sanji pulled away with a soft gasp and inhaled the salty air deeply.
"Sorry," Ace said, with a rueful grin. "I keep forgetting you have to breathe."
"And I'd like to keep it that way, thanks," Sanji muttered, a little darkly.
He recaptured his cigarette, and took a long drink from his last remaining glass of wine, savouring the aroma and each drop of the crimson liquid that slid down his throat, acutely aware of Ace staring at him, eyes dark with desire.
"I miss the taste of alcohol, but you are far more intoxicating than the most potent brew I have ever tasted," Ace murmured. "If I had gotten to you before Luffy, you would have been mine the moment you boarded my ship."
"I wouldn't have boarded your shitty ship," Sanji replied loyally, even as he felt a slight thrill of excitement at Ace's words.
Ace let out a short bark of laughter.
"I would have stolen you," Ace promised, his eyes glittering, dangerously in the dark. "You're exquisite."
"Sure, you would have," Sanji muttered as derisively as he could, hoping that Ace wouldn't realise the flush on his cheeks was more than just alcohol. "As if you could."
"I have now, haven't I?"
Sanji had to concede that point.
Ace let his thumb slide teasingly across Sanji's lips, and Sanji flicked his tongue out quickly, to lick and kiss Ace's thumb, and his fingers one by one.
"It was hard trying not to stare at you, when I first saw you with Luffy," Ace admitted. "But you were really just a pretty face until I saw you fight, and tasted your food. You had me then."
Sanji grinned, in spite of himself. "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach and all that right?"
"If you had been with any other pirate crew, I would have made you my first mate, and seduced you into my quarters."
Any other pirate crew, and Sanji was certain he could surely have been tempted into Ace's bed. He was falling hard and fast against his better judgement.
"I don't remember anything after collapsing at Marineford. Just the excruciating pain. Looking down to realise half my stomach was missing… I'll never forget the look on Luffy's face or his scream. I was such a prideful idiot," Ace said bitterly.
Sani said nothing, but he pulled Ace down on top of him again, wrapping his long limbs around the other man in a misguided futile attempt to ward off the bad memories. Ace didn't have a heartbeat, nor did his chest rise and fall with breaths, but he was still as real to Sanji as he was when he'd been alive.
"I just remember needing to make sure that Luffy was okay. Everything after that was a blur. It was like a heavy, grey fog had settled over me. And the next thing I knew I was on this ship with you guys. Shimmering in and out of existence randomly, my memories scattered, confused, my sense of self lost, each time I came to. It was the loneliest experience. No one could see, hear or touch me. Until you."
Ace swept Sanji's fringe away from his hidden eye tenderly.
"I wasn't sure if you could see me at first, but you kept squinting in my direction. When you pointed at me in the kitchen, I was glad- no ecstatic. But you couldn't hear me no matter what I said. And then I wasn't sure if it was a one off thing, so I made faces at you when you were with the others and you laughed, then you tried to speak to me, so I knew for sure you could. I'm glad it was you."
"Likewise," Sanji whispered, his heart clenching at the thought of Ace in his existence, where he was neither seen or heard. A constant purgatory of too much awareness and too little substance.
"The more you spoke to me, the more real, the more distinct I became. You saved me," Ace whispered, and Sanji had to look away, unable to bear the intensity, the gratitude in Ace's gaze. He hadn't, not really.
When all was said and done, Ace was still dead. When everyone had been fighting for Ace's life, Sanji had been thousands of leagues away, utterly useless to both Ace and Luffy.
"I'm sorry I keep hurting you." Ace traced the outline of a bandage on Sanji's hand, regretfully. "Maybe you shouldn't be with me. Maybe Zoro-"
"It's not like you did it on purpose." Sanji cut in quickly, not wanting to have that discussion just yet.
Ace's powers were a little unpredictable now that he no longer had a corporeal body to channel them through. They were greatly weakened, but still tended to flare up in moments of great emotional intensity, leaving Sanji burnt and Ace, weakened and drained.
"Where do you go every time you disappear?"
Ace was silent for a moment, and Sanji wondered if he shouldn't have asked.
"Sometimes, I'm just watching you. Only you just can't see me. Other times, I'm just not there. I don't remember much when I'm not with you. Time passes differently when you're dead." Ace shrugged and Sanji felt another tug at his heart strings.
"It's not much of an existence, is it?" Sanji asked carefully, not exactly sure where he was going with this.
"It's no picnic, but it's all that's left to me."
Ace paused, then smiled darkly.
"You're all that's left to me."