Disclaimer: Maria-sama belongs to Konno Oyuki and the other people who made it. I don't own it. I'm not making profit off of this. Blah.
Maria-sama Is Glaring: First Run
Lilian Girls' School; the garden of maidens, prim and proper. Once more, the maidens walk though the tall gates, angelic smiles plastered on their faces. Their pure minds and bodies are wrapped in dark colored school uniforms. The pleats on their skirts and their white sailor collars should always be tidy. Walking slowly is preferred there.
Oh, but how soon they will be running! Those ungrateful whores!
Stopping to pray to the statue of Mary as they enter the garden of maidens, a group of Lilian girls feel a wicked aura almost crashing down on their neat little shoulders. Many of them ignore the chilly sensation crawling up their backs like a
Pervy blonde grabby demon? Yes…HER…
hoard of spiders scattering at mock speed, and walk away…And because of this, most of them did not cower under the searing hot glare Maria-sama was shooting them. Ahh…but one did.
Fukuzawa Yumi fidgeted quietly under the cover of the cobalt blue parasol she practically snapped in two with her nervous death grip. With each patter of the night's pouring rain against her parasol, the corners of her eyes twitched.
Needless to say, there was a lot of rain.
Yumi stood her post not-so-formidably in the terrifying rainstorm as she waited for her convoy to arrive. She leaped out of her skin at every clap of thunder, shrieked at every leaf that timidly brushed her trembling hands along with the bristling current of wind. Why was she waiting there? In the midst of a raging storm? When she could have gone into Lillian's greenhouse as she had done countless times before? Well…
"Maria-sama is watching…Maria-sama is watching…Maria-sama is watching…" chanted Fukuzawa Yumi. That's right, thought Yumi, she's watching…JUST watching…
"Maria-sama is watching…Maria-sama is glaring watching…" Yumi shuddered at the abrupt intrusion of her thoughts and tried to collect herself like a lady…She failed, miserably.
At that moment of absolute failure, two slender arms snaked around Yumi's neck.
"EEEYAAH!!" Yumi screamed. It's Maria-sama! She wants revenge for the time I laughed when Kashiwagi-san finally told Sachiko-sama he's gay! And the time I 'accidentally' tripped Touko-san at Sachiko-sama's graduation! And because I 'accidentally' groped Sachiko-sama at the 'Sachiko-sama's going to Lilian University, and doesn't have to marry her gay cousin' meeting!, thought Yumi in the record time of two seconds.
"Ha, ha, ha! All hail Yumi-chan's dinosaur squeal!" teased the
Dirty…Old…Man…YOU…!!
owner of the constricting arms.
"Sei-sama!" Yumi whirled around and buried her face in Sei's inviting chest, wailing in mixed emotions of anger, then relief, then more anger, and lastly, devastation. This was not what Satou Sei was expecting. Sure, she expected the fury and the fists pounding against her chest…but this time was different. Yumi was crying. And, Sei noticed, they definitely weren't happy tears.
"Yumi-chan? What's wrong? It's not because I scared you, is it?" inquired Sei, genuinely concerned.
"N-no! It's…" Yumi paused. She wondered if Sei would believe her. It wasn't every day that a Statue of a two thousand-year old spirit glared at you with blood red eyes and a killer's intent. Yumi tried letting her silence speak for her. Sei deducted. Terribly.
"Is someone giving you trouble? Did that damn gingko prince finally bag Yuuki-san and stow him into his pedophilia closet!?" Sei was interrupted when Yumi's hand clasped over her mouth. Her brown eyes gleamed with fear and a little hint of disturbance from what Sei said about her brother and Kashiwagi Subaru's closet.
"Shh! She could be listening!" Yumi chided.
"Mmmmph?…Mnnnmmph!" With Yumi's hand placed clumsily over both her mouth and nose, Sei found it hard to speak…and breath. So, Sei watched Yumi's face undergo a series of variable expressions from confused to thoughtful to shocked before the hand suffocating her was finally retracted with an unhealthy blush.
"Ah! I thought I was going to die," Sei said with a large intake of air, "Now, Yumi-chan, what do you mean? Who could be listening?"
"eh...uhmm… M-Maria-sama…" stated Yumi, somewhat hesitant.
"Oh, great…Now she's listening, too?" Sei and Maria-sama still had a few things to work out. Sei didn't like being watched. Unless the watcher was a cute girl.
"Eh?…Wha…No!…I mean…" Yumi sighed. This wasn't going to be easy.
Yumi fumbled with words for quite a while until she started telling Sei what she had encountered. They just stood there in the rain with their own separate umbrellas as Yumi spoke. At one point in the story telling process, Yumi joined Sei under Sei's umbrella—it was bigger and more convenient for the two.
"Yumi-chan…that's…uh…" It was Sei's turn to fumble for words. She wondered how to politely tell Yumi that she should get some glasses…or a psychiatrist. But, before she could say a word, a wide-eyed Yumi shot her finger up at something towards the front gate of Lilian, fright, horror, and 'I told you so' evident in her expression. In the distance, a resonating, thumping noise could be heard sounding louder and louder as the seconds passed. Sei looked down the path after the gate and saw…
YOU!! Pervy Blonde Grabby Demon Spirit Shooting Wench!! Oh, ho, just a two thousand year old spirit, huh?! 'Oh, let's point and shoot at the thing, she won't notice!' Well, this statue's still alive and kickin'! And guess what?! Guess!! I. Want. REVENGE!!
…That's the last thing Sei and Yumi heard before the statue of Maria-sama charged at them with flashing crimson eyes. It made the ground tremble with each stomp of its march of vengeance. It's malicious grin and the dark, wispy aura it shed screamed murder.
"Oh God! Oh Buddha! Oh…Jesus!" Yumi preached while being frantically dragged along with Sei in the flight of their lives. Yumi probably would have said 'Oh, Mary!' under different circumstances. Maybe, you know, if she wasn't about to be mutilated by this 'Bloody Mary'.
"Yumi-chan! You forgot one!" Sei yelled, pulling Yumi into a desperate sprint. Sei could see it now. ' Catholic school girls are stoned to death by the Virgin Mary!'. Crap! This is not she imagined dying!
"Oh my zombie Christ!!" Sei shouted, and with one, powerful tug, Sei lifted up the exhausted dinosaur squealing girl that was Yumi and carried her as she ran, knight-in-shining-armor style. They passed about six hundred and sixty-six trees before, mysteriously, in Sei's random and directionless run, Yumi spotted a familiar safe haven. A steel plate reading 'Shimazu Residence' flickered into her vision. But, they'd have to act fast to escape Maria-sama's blazing trail of vengeance.
"Sei-sama, look! Yoshino-san's house!" Yumi pointed with a glint of hope in her eye.
"Huh?! Good job Yumi-chan! Yoshino-chan can scare that thing away!" said Sei. She was serious; Yoshino had a temper that could bring her to indiscriminate, homicidal violence.
How would Maria-sama fare against a vicious, Rei-toppling, fuse-ignited Yoshino?!
A/N: Uh...Don't take it too seriously...Please. Kashiwagi Subaru = Kashiwagi Suguru for silly reasons explained later-ish.