A Christmas to remember
Lying in bed Kane thought about Christmas. It was only a month away now. He and J.J. had gone to a restaurant for Thanksgiving. He'd had so much to be thankful for, now that J.J. was in his life. He'd never known when the holidays came and went when he was with Paul especially when he was in the basement growing up.
But why was J.J. ignoring the upcoming holiday.
What should Christmas be like? Kane wondered.
Reaching back into his mind he tried to recall Christmases when he was a child.
He thought about how they used to decorate the house together, how he and Mark used to eat more popcorn then the strung.
The memory was a painful one because he could see his mom chastising them even as she laughed.
We don't have a home to decorate. Kane thought, and we'll be in several more hotels before the holiday so decorating the hotel won't work. He tried hard to remember the feeling of Christmas.
It was such an exciting time of the year. Kane remembered being a small boy and struggling to write a letter to Santa asking him for something. But he couldn't remember what he'd been asking for. It was so long ago.
He suddenly remembered Mark teasing him that he was getting nothing but coal because he'd been so bad that year and bursting into tears.
He remembered the two elves sitting on the shelf way up high. He remembered that just the day before he'd been caught doing something and his elf had disappeared to go tell Santa and been back later that same day.
"Babe why are you crying?" J.J. asked seeing the tears running down Kane's face.
"Didn't realize I was." Kane said quietly.
"So what brought this on." J.J. said, taking a seat beside him and wrapping her arm around his waist.
"Just remembering Christmas when I was a kid." He said sheepishly.
"Oh." J.J. said in reply.
"What are we going to do for Christmas?" Kane asked suddenly.
"I hadn't planned on doing anything." J.J. said, sounding somewhat sad.
"Why not?" Kane asked.
"Christmas sucked at my house." J.J. answered. "Especially after mom died and I was just with him. You know my step dad." She paused "it was a week stuck without school or other activities to escape to." she finished.
I can understand that Kane thought remembering what she had said in the past about him. He was the reason she still wore sunglasses in public day and night.
That sat holding each other on the couch. Her head on his shoulder and his chin resting on top of her head. Both of them needing comfort from the memories of the past.
J.J. though back to Christmases of the past. He'd always tell me the reason there were no gifts was because I'd been bad. I tried so hard to be good but it never worked there were never any gifts under the tree. Not even coal. He'd tell me that I'd been so bad I didn't even rate coal. Then he'd show me what bad girls got for Christmas and he'd rape me. It had started the Christmas after mom died and gone on for several years, it probably wouldn't have stopped either if he hadn't died in that fire.
I think it's time we build some good Christmas memories for us both. Kane thought.
After a while Kane got up and turned on the radio. Maybe some Christmas music will put us more in the Christmas spirit.
As the packed to go to yet another hotel and another event they listened to the Christmas carols playing softly in the background. Till one played that made him stop.
"Santa I'm Right Here"
By Toby Keith
I was downtown Christmas shopping
Such a busy city street
I don't know how I noticed the piece of paper at my feet
But somethin' made me pick it up, instead of goin' on my way
I stopped and froze right in my tracks
As I read what it had to say
Oh Santa, if you can't find me
We're livin' out here on the street
But I'll be watchin' for you, you're not gonna forget me, are you
Daddy says he knows you'll try
But we might be too hard to find this year
Oh Santa, I'm right here
It said, we don't have our house no more, I wish we could go home
Mama says we will some day and she prays it won't be long
But they closed daddy's factory and took most of our things
Now Santa, I don't need to much, so this year could you bring
Bring my mom a coat that's warm, 'cause the one she's got is awful torn
Maybe dad could help you work, makin' toys for boys and girls
Oh Santa, if you can't find me
We're livin' out here on the street
But I'll be watchin' for you, you're not gonna forget me, are you
Daddy says he knows you'll try
But we might be too hard to find this year
Oh Santa, I'm right here
I'm right here
I'm right here
Kane stopped and listened to the lyrics suddenly knowing one thing he wanted to do for Christmas.
"babe, is there a way to give toys to homeless children?" Kane asked, somewhat out of the blue.
"Huh what hun?" J.J. asked, coming out of the bathroom.
Kane repeated his question.
"Sure there is." J.J. said, wondering what had put that thought into his head.
"How?"
"You buy toys and drop them off at the homeless shelters that accept families." J.J. said after a minute.
"What made you ask that Kane?" J.J. asked.
"There was a song on the radio that made me realize how much we have that others don't." Kane said quietly.
"Oh… " J.J. said. "We can do that in the next town if you want."
"I'd like that." Kane replied with a smile.
Wonder what song it was put that into his head? J.J. thought. It's just like him to think of other's before himself.
Finishing packing the two headed for the airport.
Arriving in Atlanta they couldn't help but notice all the Christmas decorations at the airport.
"Wow… look at that tree, it's gotta be twenty feet high." Kane said with awe.
"Yeah" J.J. said.
"Bet it would take a lot of popcorn to string that tree." J.J. said, looking over at Kane with a smile.
"You did that too?" Kane said surprised.
"I did until my mom passed away." J.J. said answering his smile. "After that he would put up the tree but not let me decorate it at all." She added.
"What a jerk." Kane said vehemently
"How old were you when your mom died?" Kane questioned not really wanting to hear the answer.
"Seven." She replied.
He raped a seven year old. That sick bastard. Kane thought.
Getting to the hotel they saw that it too had a huge tree.
"Popcorn" J.J. said making them both smile and laugh.
Getting up to their room they were surprised to find that it had its own small tree.
I can't wait to start buying his gifts. J.J. thought a smile coming to her face.
"J.J." Kane said. "Can we go shopping for the kids right after the show tonight?"
"No hun the stores will be closed by the time we get done." J.J. replied. "But I promise we'll do it early tomorrow."
"Good." He said thinking about the song. He couldn't seem to get that song out of his head no matter how hard he tried.
The show went well with Kane winning his match against Gangrel easily.
The next morning found them waiting at the toy store before it opened.
"You get the boy gifts and I'll get the girl gifts." Kane said, looking forward to shopping which he usually hated.
"Sounds good, but let's just do one carriage each. We can shop again at the next town for another shelter if you want." J.J. said.
"Ok." Kane said, thinking about how small the carriages usually were.
I'm not going to end up getting many gifts if I stick to one carriage. Kane thought.
Going into the store they each grabbed one carriage and headed in different directions.
"We'll meet up front in an hour." J.J. called after Kane.
His nod was all she got.
An hour later found them in the front of the store laughing. Each had piled so many toys into the cart that neither could see where they were going.
"Guess one shopping basket can hold more than we thought huh J.J." Kane said, smiling from ear to ear.
"Guess so." J.J. said joining him in his smile.
He's so damn cute when he smiles. J.J. thought, but most people never get to see that side of him.
Going back to the hotel J.J. called around until she found a homeless shelter that handled families. Then she asked them if they wanted the gifts wrapped or unwrapped. They said if they were new then wrapped was fine. So the pair began wrapping the two towering piles of gifts they had chosen.
After a bit J.J. ran out of paper on her roll and bopped Kane on the head with it. Kane retaliated with an empty tube of his own and the wrapping session quickly degenerated into a tube fight.
This led to a bit of tickling. Watching Kane wriggle and twist trying to avoid her tickling fingers was a joy to see. The tickling turned to wrestling, and then a bout of passionate love making.
"We'll never get this done if you keep distracting me." J.J. said, lying in bed and looking at the pile of still unwrapped gifts.
"Me.." Kane said laughing. "You started it."
They decided to finish in the morning and fell asleep in each other's arms.
It took them a while the next morning to finish the wrapping. But soon they were off to the shelter. When they arrived J.J. went inside and asked for some help bringing in the presents. So a couple of the volunteers went out with her. They were shocked to see the amount of gifts waiting to be brought in. What shocked them more was the huge masked man waiting by the van.
"Relax, that's just Kane." J.J. said seeing their unease. "He's harmless."
"If you say so lady." One of the volunteers quipped.
"You don't watch wrestling do you?" J.J. said.
"No I never have." The volunteer said picking up the first bunch of presents.
Kane moved to the van and picked up a load of gifts and headed in behind the volunteer and so did J.J. the second volunteer waited a few minutes before doing the same so that there would always be someone at the van.
When they had finished unloading the van Kane gave the receipts to the head of the shelter in case anything was broken and needed to be returned. Even the director was a bit nervous around Kane until he smiled. Then she seemed right at ease.
"Thank you so much for doing this for the children." The director said smiling broadly. "You don't know how much it means to them to actually have a Christmas."
"Believe me we do." Kane said. "We do"
"But we have something for the adults too. We've bought 200 coats at the coat factory all the adults have to do is go down and pick them out." J.J. added.
"We really appreciate all that you two have done for the shelter." She said. "When you called and asked if we wanted them wrapped or not we expected a few gifts. Not the amount you brought if we'd known we would have wrapped them ourselves. And the coats you can't imagine how glad we are to hear about those."
"We're happy to help out." Kane said, kinds ducking his head a little.
He's blushing, J.J. realized noticing his manner and that his ears were turning pink.
If not for that mask I'm sure he'd be beet red. J.J. thought smiling at him.
Getting out side Kane turned to her and asked "What was that smile all about?"
"What smile?" she asked knowing full well what he meant.
"The same one you're wearing now."
"You were blushing you know that don't you?"
"I was not!"
"Yes you were, all bashful and embarrassed when she was thanking us." J.J. said smiling at him again.
"Well… well.." Kane stuttered
"It's ok hun it was cute."
They did the same thing at the next two towns. Each time Kane would blush at the thanks and J.J. would tease him about it. Until he watched her and realized she was blushing too.
Finally they were at the town they would be spending Christmas in. Again J.J. found a shelter that could use their help. So after the show they made their plans of attack for the morning.
Bright and early they set out to do the shopping and it didn't take long for them to fill their baskets. Then it was off to the mall for lunch and a bit more shopping.
They had decided not to spend any money on gifts for each other though they had plenty. Instead they would only shop for others.
Using the mall crowd to his advantage Kane got "lost" for of few minutes ducking into a jewelry store. It didn't take him long to pick out what he wanted and he was out again pretending to 'find' J.J.
That night the snow began to fall and they wrapped beside he hotel's large window as they watched the snow fall. In the morning getting to the shelter was tough going as the roads were a mess. They got lost on the way and ended up stuck a few times but always managed to get themselves out. By the time they reached the shelter it was evening it was Christmas Eve and the party was in full swing. There were kids everywhere so getting the gifts inside was a problem. It was handled quickly with popcorn stringing contest. Once the gifts were inside Kane and J.J. were invited to stay for the party. They decided to stay mainly to watch the children open their gifts. Again they had arranged for coats for the adults.
They had been there about an hour when the director came out of her office looking quite upset.
"Mrs. Granger?" J.J. asked, "You look upset what is the problem."
"That was our Santa on the phone he can't get here."
"Oh no." J.J. said, "the kids have got to have a Santa"
J.J. looked at Kane, then at Mrs. Granger.
"Don't give me that look J.J." Kane said. "Santa don't wear a mask."
"But Kane you're the only one that will fit the suit 'almost'" she said.
"But J.J. the mask how can I?"
Pulling him to the side she said quietly.
"Kane I've seen what is under the mask the scarring isn't as bad as you think and it would mostly be covered by the hair, mustache and beard." J.J. said imploringly.
"J.J. I can't the kids will be afraid." Kane said, looking down.
"No they won't. All they'll see is Santa." J.J. told him quietly.
"Don't worry." Mrs. Granger said suddenly. "We'll just say Santa dropped them off in front and distribute them ourselves."
Kane looked at J.J. again and nodded. "I'll do it." He said sounding nervous.
Kane and J.J. went into the back and put him into the suit. It was too short in the arms and legs but the rest fit ok. J.J. carefully arrange the beard, hair and hat to cover Kane's scars then offered him a mirror.
"I can't look at myself you know that J.J." Kane said refusing the mirror. "But if I scare one kid I am going to kill you." He added.
Holding his mask in her hands she said "you look fine. They're gonna love you."
Walking out with the sack of toys Kane shouted "HO HO HO" but his belly didn't shake like a bowl full of jelly.
Kane made his way to Santa's chair and sat down. We had labeled all the gifts boy or girl so the shelter would know which was which. While we'd been watching the volunteers had changed out our tags for ones with the kids names on them.
Right behind Kane the volunteers brought out the other gifts as one sack couldn't hold them all. Meanwhile other volunteers passed out the gift cards for the coats to the adults.
Kane reached into the bag and pulled out a package, then called out the name of the child. Each time he did this the child would spring forward and stand in front of him. Kane would offer his knee and the most of the children sat in his lap while opening their gift. Then with a "Thank You Santa" they would run off back into the crowd. J.J. could see Kane's face he was beaming; she'd never seen him so happy in all the time she'd known him.
When the bags were empty and the children were all playing with their new toys Kane rejoined her.
"I have one more gift to give away." Kane told J.J.
"But all the kids have gotten gifts." J.J. said looking confused.
"This one is for a special girl…" he said looking into her eyes.
"but we said we wouldn't buy for each other… I didn't get you anything."
"You'll be the best gift ever if you say yes…" he whispered to her as he opened the ring box and looked again into her eyes…
"YES!" J.J. cried, beginning to cry in earnest.