"October" Evanescence…Frey
Moonlight spilled between the crevasses of the trees, sleeping daises bathed in the tranquil light, letting it seep into their vulnerable bodies. Their closed faces hiding shame as the suspended figure swung lightly in the gentle breeze. Her pale features softened in eternal slumber as her innocent body embraced the night. Her delicate toes brushed the grass in light sweeps as it had for hours. She seemed at peace, relief sweeping those once troubled eyes. The cold grey that stole that beautiful blue subsided as a glaze of pure peacefulness shrouded her eyes as she hung limp in the calm forest.
I could have saved her. I could have spared that innocent little girl. I could have stopped her soul from breaking. But I didn't… I couldn't… I wouldn't. It was her time. I had followed her for years. In the back of her mind, people say she was mad, crazy. I was always there, watching her…an angel of death, just waiting. People say that your destiny is already decided when you are born, that someone somewhere would have decided your fate. I am that someone. I tested her for so long. She was different, she was strong, took everything I threw at her. She fascinated me immensely, such a small little girl, taking on the world. She wasn't supposed to go through the hurt and the pain. She wasn't supposed to feel the madness; she wasn't supposed to hurt herself like she did, it wasn't meant to be her choice. She was supposed to depart with her friend. They were supposed to leave together, two friends, together in tragedy, instead they left alone, her best friend left in an instant, that they both were supposed to experience, but she didn't, she was so strong, she survived the crash, she survived the physical injuries but the mental scars killed her, slowly. It wasn't meant to happen that way; she didn't deserve the pain, inside her, eating away at her soul, until it became too much to bear.
Cold pavement collided with my feet as I stepped out on street. I could still see the neon glare in my eyes from the strobe lighting inside the club. I looked out across the street in the darkness and could just about make out the low glow of the dim streetlights. Under a particularly bright one was my little smart car. Only just realising it was mine via the lime green exterior; I stumbled in a drunken stupor across the busy road, ignoring the horn blares from passing motorists. Claire started shouting something along the lines of, "get out the road you silly cow!" before following in a giggly daze. Heavy trance music still pounded in my head as the bouncers stared disapprovingly at the two giggling ladettes across the road, fumbling with a ring of keys before subsequently dropping them underneath the car. This spun Claire into an extremely loud and flamboyant display of laughter which only made my head hurt even more. "Never again" I thought as I searched between the fag ends and spilt booze on the curb. Sweat clung to my neck and I could already feel the hangover starting to kick in. Once in the car I listened to the drunken tales from my best friend and patiently dealt with the sudden displays of happiness that seemed to overwhelm Claire. "At least someone had a good time!" I thought miserably. The man at the bar had taken a particular fancy to Claire and insisted on buying her drinks. His cheap aftershave and greasy hair did nothing for me and in between bought drinks, made up excuses for frequent bathroom breaks. I left Claire watching my drink for me as who was going to pass up a free drink? But once I came back and saw the greasy man sitting alone. "Claire went to look for you" he said with a crooked smile. "Sure" was all I could muster as the club suddenly seemed bigger and louder without the security of a friend. He passed me my drink, "kept it safe" he said. I was quite wary as I didn't know this man and he possessed an uneasy aura. "Ta" I said. It was the middle of a well known club. Who was going to even try anything here? I brushed away my anxiety with a shrug and sipped on my drink. Man I was paying for it now! My head was spinning and it was hard to concentrate on the road. Sign after sign passed and I began to feel better. I thought I was going to make it home okay, suddenly it felt hard to breathe and my chest was on fire. Short breaths turned into nothing as black spots appeared in my vision, consuming my sight greedily. I lost control… I watched in horror as we span wildly through the traffic, our laughter turned into a chorus of screams in a deadly instant. The spinning seized as I watched Claire's face turn pale, her eyes wide with terrible anguish and fear, she knew exactly what was going to happen, I could never forget that innocent face that portrayed an image of absolution, she knew that I couldn't have stopped this from happening, she stared straight through me and as her head smashed into the side window, I screamed. She lay, slumped against the dashboard; I followed in suit, crashing into the steering wheel. Darkness
In seconds, the ever black night sky was swept into a tempest of white. I felt wrong. Effortless, graceful, sweeping my surprisingly light head I tried to decipher what had happened. The sharp breathing pain no longer existed and my eyes weren't heavy. It was so surreal. Twisted ugly metal and plastic no longer compressed me into my seat. Claire was still against the dashboard. She looked different to earlier, as though she had never been a part of this body, this shell. Her figure would have been traumatic to witness but I was unaffected. I just stared at the dark haired girl, she seemed asleep, devoted to the deepest of dreams. Numb I opened the crunched metal door and stepped into the debris filled road. I was barefoot; no blood on my clothes, no rips or cuts. I wandered away from the car treading over glass and shards of metal. My feet were still perfect, no cuts. Further up the road I saw Claire, dressed in her evening clothes, her hair was lighter than before and she was also perfect, she had the face of an angel, too perfect. I had just seen her slumped in the car, dead, but now she was standing before me, unharmed. I kept walking to her, slowly, as I approached she held out her delicate hand and told me it was time to go, I didn't want to leave, I was happy on the road, in the quiet. Her pretty face crumpled in bewilderment, creases formed on her ivory skin. Curling her thin fingers she let her arm drop to her side before turning to walk away, I turned too, heading back for the car. She walked till she was out of sight, a white image on the black horizon, I sat back in the car, resting my forehead on the steering wheel and closing my eyes.
Sirens screamed out at me in panic, blood poured into my eyes, hot sticky and red. People in green lifted me out of the car, screaming was piercing my eardrums, I begged for the sound to stop; until I realised it was me. The people in green crowded around me, shouting reassurances at me as though I was deaf, I reached to the sky, my hand shook uncontrollably, a woman took my hand, she told me it was going to be ok, that I was going to make it. My screams stopped and I lay on the bed watching the people try to fix me. But I was broken beyond repair.