Chapter one: Hour in which I die
Karkat's P.O.V
Don't get too attached to someone you could lose. This is the rule I go by each and every day of my pitiful life. I have no friends, I am a shut in except when I go to school and am forced to interact with humans. It's stupid, and it's dangerous.
And that dreadful man, the one that I hate. It seems to always be my fault, no matter what. Whether it be my personality, my looks, or just in general, me. I'm always at fault. I can't please him, never, that man, I'm always walking on eggshells around him. I can't stand up to him because if I did, it would be considered, defiant. I can't be myself around him, so I put on a smile and am someone else.
This is a lie, this is not the real me. I have become a monster, at least that's what I feel like when I walk out the door. I don't care, or at least I don't think I do. I'm a lie. I'm a lie to myself.
But it's okay, isn't it? We all lie at one point or another. I didn't think I could hate somebody this much. He's a Six foot Eight, Three hundred and twenty pound man with a beer gut. A Budweiser in one hand, the remote in the other. His name is irrelevant, yet I call him Crab dad, and he is my foster father. My name is Karkat Vantas, and this is my hell.
My life is on this one IM called pesterchum, and I have managed to make a few friends there. Terezi, John, Dave, Gamzee, Tavros, and Sollux. Sollux is the oldest out of my friends, he is twenty six, I am seventeen, John and Dave are eighteen ,Terezi is twenty, Gamzee is twenty three and Tavros is twenty.
Why am I the youngest?
I huff and hear crab dad calling for me, I put on pesterchum that I am away and go to see what he wants. Crab dad is on the couch with is Budweiser in one hand and the remote in the other, his perfect stance.
"What?" I ask in a grumpy tone.
"Go make dinner," he demands.
I don't want to, I don't want to do anything that this man tells me to do. I usually just do what he says though, but today? I'm sick and tired of it, and maybe I'll get killed and he'll hide my body and explain to the police that a kid named Karkat Vantas never lived here.
"No."
He looks at me, "What?"
"No."
"Say that again?"
"No."
He chucks the remote at me and it hits me in the neck, "Say it again you little fuck."
I glare at him, "Fuck no go make it yourself."
He gets up, fuck, I clear my throat and stand my ground.
"I said no you big fat fuck, why don't you go stuff your face full of Cheetos or something? You never get any pussy and you are incapable of taking care of a simple fuck up for a child. So no, go fuck yourself."
He hit me, hard. I take it, I always do. My hatred for that man began to grow like cells in a petrei dish, the thing about foster homes is that the state usually never checks the homes. I just had to wait another year and then I would be on welfare or something. Something to get me out of here.
His hands wrapped around my neck and began to choke me, this was all over dinner. I scratched at his hands with my fingernails, succeeding in making marks on him. He let go and punched me in my face, I fell back on my butt, holding in my anger and tears.
"Fine, I'll order something out," he slurred.
I got up and went to my room locking the door and going to the computer sending out a memo.
CG: IF ANYONE CAN GIVE ME THEIR NUMBER TO HEAR ME RANT PLEASE
CG: PLEASE DO SO
CG: I AM BEGGING YOU
CG: SOMEONE GIVE ME THEIR FUCKING NUMBER
I suddenly got a reply from twinArmageddons, who is Sollux, and who messaged me in private chat. I saw his number and quickly got my cell phone and dialed the number.
"Hello?" the male voice said.
"Sollux?"
"Thatth me," he chuckled, "but really, what ith thith ranting you need to go on about? Ith it thomething important or just willy nilly thit? Cauthe I have thit to do."
I blurt it out, "I'm thinking of killing myself."