AN: This story is my little de-stress story, it is nothing but silly humor and bad jokes.
On with the story.
James Ironwood is the headmaster of Atlas Academy, a General in the Atlesian military, he wears a white overcoat, with a gray undercoat, black sweater, a red necktie, and a white glove on his right hand. His suit pants share the same color as his overcoat and are tucked into silver boots accented in gray. His left arm is robotic. His hair is black, with some silver and gray areas, while his eyebrows are solid black. He has a strip of silver metal above his right eyebrow, a neurotransmitter that helps him operate the robotic parts of his body.
He is walking to the Research and Development division to meet the head of all of Atleasean science, a man of great renown. Single handedly bringing Atlas into technological superiority centuries ahead of anything their greatest minds could ever dream of.
He opens the sealed door and is greeted with a mindbogoling sight.
"Sir please put down the cat!" A very old scientist yells at a man standing on the bullhead the R&D division.
"But it knows the secret to transdimensional pooping. Imagine it Stevens, never have to leave the lab again! People would just randomly find Fecal matter in their toilets! And it won't be theirs!" The Blond haired man on the bullhead yells, hoisting the cat high in the air like a holy relic.
"Sir that is Sir Pounce-a-little, he has nothing to do with transdimensional pooping!" Stevens yells back.
"Oh! Why didn't you say so Stevens, I would have put the cat down the second you said so!" The Blond man exclaims. He jumps off the bullhead and hands the cat to Stevens.
"I did sir, fifteen times." Stevens sighs tiredly.
"Oh General Ironwood Sir, why have you come down here to R&D?" Stevens asks.
"I came to meet the most brilliant mind in remnant, your assistant seems to be giving you trouble." James says.
"Uh sir, I'm the assistant. The man that was waving the cat around is my boss Jaune Arc." Stevens says in the tone of a man used to saying these words.
"Really?! But he looks so insane!" Ironwood exclaims.
"I'm not insane, just have a difficult time aligning myself to this Parallel. You normal people and your one self, bah, out with the lot of you." Jaune scoffs, then suddenly he explodes.
Blood and viscera flies everywhere, guts hanging off lab tools.
"What the fuck was that?!" Ironwood screams in horror.
"Calm down, it's only my seventh explosion today!" Jaune exclaims from the exact same place he was before, the lab is once more in it's pristine state.
"Sir, Jaune's Semblance is Parallel Connection. He is connected to all the parallel selves that exist. Past, Present, and Future." Steven tiredly explains.
"The explosions come from a little game we play with ourselves. Every now and then one of us picks up and explosive and detonates it, kills 'em completely. Although we come back instantly, we then send the explosion among us and share. spontaneous explosions happen all the time, the game is avoiding the explosion! None of us have managed it though. Even if we did figure it out none of us would stop the game, it's too fun!" Jaune erratically explains, appearing all around the lab. Never in one place longer than ten seconds, messing with dials. Mixing stuff into flasks, writing notes.
"How have you managed technological marvels if this is how you work?" Ironwood asks incredulously.
"Oh that's easy! Stevens!" Jaune yells.
"Over here sir." Stevens sighs from next to Jaune.
"There you are. What was today's project?" Jaune asks.
"Bullhead improvements." Steven lists of a notepad that appears out of nowhere in his hands.
"Oh that." Jaune says. He snaps his fingers and the bullhead he previously stood on suddenly disappeared, a moment later a much more sophisticated bullhead appears.
"How did you do that?" Ironwood asks.
"Future me sends back obsolete designs and I send him ancient things we've forgotten, Future me improves from old designs and Present me improves from future designs." Jaune calmly states.
"So time travel." Ironwood states.
"No, no, no, no, no, no, I am connected to all Jaune's in all worlds in all dimensions in all times. We share stuff." Jaune states.
"Well, your workplace ethics are questionable the results show themselves. Keep up the good work boys." Ironwood says as he turns to leave.
"Sir if I could have a moment?" Stevens asks.
"Go ahead Stevens." Ironwood states.
"We desperately need more staff, I can't be the only person watching Jaune. He asks things that a scientist wouldn't know, this is the only budget increase we have ever asked for. More staffing would go a long way to speed up Jaune, he would have more people to interact with. One human interaction kinda makes him produce more spectacular things." Stevens desperately pleads.
"All right I trust you judgement on our genius. I'll send more staff tomorrow." Ironwood says.
"Tell Specialist Schnee she'll hate me!" Jaune cryptically yells at Sir Pounce-a-little.
AN: As you can see not even I am taking this story seriously, this is intended to be pure comedy.