Chapter 1

Featuring Megamind's disguise generator watch!

Metro Man x Megamind

Hey guys! This fic is based off the DeviantArt Nobody Knows by MaXKennedy. I looked at it and just BAM! Out comes this fic baby. I hope this will only turn out to be a three-shot at most, but it may be longer.

To those of you following my BuJeet fic, I'm very sorry I haven't been updating! I've run into a wall with it, but don't worry! With enough support and insistence, I may be incensed to write more *wink wink*.

But for now…ENJOY YOUR ALIENS!

Summary: Megamind has used his disguise generator to get out of trouble and to start it. But now he may have used it to make a bit too much trouble for himself when one of his disguises attracts the attention of his arch-nemesis.

Disclaimer: NOTHING. NOOOOOOTTTHHHIIIIIIIING.

Roxanne had become more and more unruly as time went on.

Megamind had had quite a bit of difficulty trying to frighten her into submission, but it seems like the alligators, gauntlet of blades, cycle of spiked boots, and chainsaw weren't enough to keep her pliant anymore.

He might even have to resort to using a flamethrower next time; but heat made his skin tight and it was very painful (not to mention pathetic) to laugh evilly with a peeling, squintched face.

So he chose to find out what it was that she feared, so that he might have something new to frighten her with.

Unfortunately the only way he knew how to was by stalking her.

And that only told him that the cameraman "Hal" had an unhealthy obsession with her, she had 3 cats, and she hung out with her friends when she wasn't interviewing Metro Man.

So he came up with a new plan:

Plan: BFFs with "Roxxy-Poo", as the annoying female Janet called her.

So he started crafting a suitable disguise that fooled even Minion when it was finished.

"Carmen", as he called her, was a rather buxom woman with red shoulder-length hair. She retained his green eyes, but hers were framed by long, flirtatious lashes. Her features were fair, with naturally red lips and a small button nose. Her skin was tan, but only slightly so, as anything more would crack his alibi of stereotypical office worker. He'd topped it off by having Minion help him learn how to walk in heels.

The plan to becoming Roxanne's bestie was fairly simple; get kidnapped by Minion, than escape of 'her' own power.

So far Step One was complete. But Step Two now had a slight complication.

It seemed Metro Man had decided it was his duty to save any maiden in distress, even if this one was screaming her head off and struggling madly.

"Let go of me, you!" he shouted, 'her' voice a high-pitched screech (The addition of a voice-changer choker allowed him to speak as such).

"Don't worry, madam! Everything is under control!" Metro Man announced, as though he hadn't even heard her.

"I had everything under control before you got there, you stupid idiot! Now put me down!" 'Carmen' accented this by hitting him, punctuating each word.

He felt Metro Man's flight stutter, before slowly descending towards the ground and setting him down on his bare feet. (Apparently, flying makes you lose your heels. He'd been proud of that pair, too; Minion had helped him learn how to walk in them.) He'd landed them in Central park, a few people cheered nearby, because it seemed that Metro Man had saved a damsel in distress, again, but at the moment, Megamind could care less about the spectators.

He turned indignantly, his hands on his hips as he began to rant at his 'savior's' chest (even in his normal form, he was shorter than the superhero), and now he had to tell the most ridiculous lie of how he spotted a big red button clearly labeled 'To help you escape the Giant Fish Gorilla' when he'd been snatched up by the overly excited superhero.

"But…but I saved you." Metro Man protested weakly, arms held out in an attempt to pacify the ranting woman. Unfortunately, Megamind's tirade was far from over.

"Now I've lost my shoes, my hair is a mess, and it will take ages to get my makeup back in order!" (Allowing the hologram to be able to interact with his environment had been Minion's idea; the only real problem would be getting back his shoes.)

Megamind, as Carmen, in some strange fit of rage and indignity at yet another plan foiled (he could try again later, he knew, but it was still frustrating), and maybe it was because he didn't have on his own face, or maybe he was finally fed up with being beaten again and again, but he brought up his hand, and slammed it as hard as he could onto Metro Man's face.

SLAP!

Only after he hears the crack of skin on skin and the collective gasp of those few spectators surrounding him does he realize just what he's done. He could frame the look Metro Man had on his face if he wasn't so mortified at just having done what he did. He turns on his heel, marching stiffly away in an attempt to preserve what little dignity he still had.

Several concerned citizens run up to Metro Man, cooing and gasping at the angry red handprint decorating half of his face. Each one offers up some conciliation, such as a cold pack or tracking down the offensive woman, so caught up in thinking of retaliating against the unknown woman that they don't hear the comment murmured under his breath, and the handprint hid the blush decorating his cheeks.

"Wow. What a woman."

Pff. Such a cheesy ending to a stupid chapter. BUT DAT PICTURE. I can't help it, it makes plot babies erupt from my mind. I won't provide a link, but I think you'll be able to find it easily enough. Also, I've got 25 stories in progress right now, from various fandoms.

…I hate myself right now.