I could not fail.
It was my duty to help the sick and injured of the city, and I had no intention of failing that duty. The dying boy in front of me would only have once chance, and this was it. I concentrated with every ounce of my being, channelling everything I had into my power. I clenched my teeth down as my power sapped the strength from my body to lend to the boy. Nothing was happening. One last push, one last plea.
The boy sat up with a gasp. His mother and father rushed to his side, overjoyed to see life in their son's eyes once again. As I let the magic fall from my hands, my body doubled over in weakness. It felt as if all my strength had suddenly been sucked away from me, leaving nothing a fragile husk. A victorious husk, though. It didn't matter what happened to me, it mattered that the boy had survived. His father gave me a thankful look as he helped me to my feet. It was more thanks that I usually got.
As my sense slowly came back to me, I became of a new, unfamiliar presence in the room. Four unfamiliar presences, in fact. In this place, unfamiliarity meant danger. I felt Justice rear his head. He would not face danger lying down. I rubbed my forehead, trying to ignore the throbbing headache that was quickly forming there.
Not now, Justice.
He would not listen. There were potentially four enemies in the room. That was four too many for Justice. But a scene now could be deadly. He would have to cooperate. Agreeing to stand down the strangers, Justice slinked back, satisfied with my decision. I grabbed the staff leaning against the nearby wall and turned to face the newcomers defiantly.
"I have made this place a sanctuary of healing and salvation. Why do you threaten it?" I stated. But as I laid my eyes upon the newcomers, I was surprised. I expected to see thugs or Templars but instead I was facing the most unusual group- two humans, a Dalish elf and a dwarf. I recognised the dwarf, although I did not know his name. He was a constant presence at the Hanged Man. The others were less familiar, but not threatening. My stance relaxed ever so slightly as my gaze fell upon the man at the head of the group, who I could see from the staff on his back was a mage. He was young, but had the air of someone who had been forced to live the life of someone older. A neatly trimmed black beard framed a strong jaw, complemented by a head of swept black hair. He was smiling, which was odd. Smiles weren't something often seen in Darktown. The creases around his lips suggested he was a man used to smiling, but was a strange darkness to his amber eyes that told me his smiles was for others more than himself. To my surprise, my stomach knotted a little at the sight of him. It was not often I got such handsome men coming into my clinic. At my statement, the man crossed his arms, and looked at me curiously. I had the feeling I was being sized up, but the man's little smile suggested he liked what he saw.
"Strange occupation for a Warden. Aren't you more about taint and death? Not healing and salvation." the man said jovially. My excitement drooped a little. This man knew about my past, and that was no doubt what he was here for. I would not give him any of it, no matter how pleasing he was to the eye. I lowered my defensive stance, but remained on guard,
"Did the Wardens send you to bring me back? I'm not going," I replied. I had hoped the Hero of Ferelden had forgotten about me. As much as I respected the woman, it was best if I did not encounter her again,
"Those bastards made me get rid of my cat," I added, "Poor Ser Pounce-a-Lot. He hated the deep roads."
The man raised an eyebrow,
"You had a cat named Ser Pounce a Lot? In the Deep Roads?"
"He was a gift. A noble beast. Almost got ripped in half by a Genlock once. He swatted the bugger on the nose. Drew blood, too."
Why was I telling this man this? I'd just met him and now I was telling him about Ser Pounce-a-Lot? I had no idea why, but I had just blurted it out. Perhaps it was the man's oddly comforting aura, like he'd listen to what anyone had to say if it made them feel better. The smile I got back from him was encouraging. Was I blushing? I hoped not.
"So you came to Kirkwall just to escape the Wardens?" the man asked.
"You say that like it's a small thing. Yes, I'm here because there's no Warden outpost, no darkspawn, and a whole host of refugees to blend in with," I said, pausing, "And some reasons of my own."
Why did I add that? I felt Justice's disapproval stirring. I knew I had to tread carefully with such statements, but those amber eyes were too encouraging. The man nodded, seemingly satisfied with my response.
"I'm part of an expedition into the Deep Roads. Any information you have could save peoples' lives," he said, suddenly turning all business. His smile was less now, his face more serious. I hoped he'd smile again- it suited the stranger better. But then again, his proposition was not something to smile about. I don't think he quite understood what he was asking.
"I will die a happy man if I never think of the Blighted Deep Roads again. You can't imagine what I've come through to get here," I said defiantly, "I'm not interested…"
A sudden thought popped into my mind. This could be an opportunity- one I had been waiting on for a long time. And this man was a mage, so he would understand.
"Although…a favour for a favour? Does that sound like a fair deal? You help me, I'll help you."
The man seemed intrigued. He smiled again. My heart took an extra beat, in spite of myself.
"Let's be more specific," the man said, "I don't do anything involving children or animals."
A joker then. It was rare to find a sense of humour in Kirkwall. I remembered how many people had complemented me for my sense of humour once. They didn't seem to anymore. But it was a nice change to hear a jovial attitude amongst the dark and dreary depression of the city. This mage was indeed some kind of bright flame in the darkness, in both appearance and spirit.
"I have a Warden map of the depths in this area. But there's a price," I explained, beginning to pace absentmindedly, "I came to Kirkwall to aid a friend. A mage. A prisoner in the wretched Gallows."
Thinking of Karl made me feel a little guilty for my sudden burst of attraction to the dark haired stranger. He anguished while I was here hoping to see a stranger smile again. But if he agreed to this, then perhaps it was Karl's smile I'd see again. The dark haired man grew attentive at the mentioning of a mage. Now it was time to see where he stood on treatment of his kinsmen.
"The Templars learned of my plan to free him," I continued, "Help me bring him safely past them, and you shall have your maps."
The man seemed to mull the idea over for a moment. It was hard to tell whether he approved or not. But nevertheless, those amber eyes were in deep consideration.
"You want to make your friend an apostate?" he asked. I felt myself tighten in frustration. The man sounded cynical, perhaps disapproving. I thought all mages would be ready to help each other, but that would only be the case in a perfect world, and Kirkwall was far from a perfect world.
"That's such a weighted term," I snapped back, "Yes, Andraste said magic should serve man, not rule him. But I've yet to find a mage who wants to rule anything. It goes against no will of the Maker for mages to live as free as other men."
The man looked a little surprised at my outburst. I wondered if I'd taken a step to far. If this stranger supported the Templars, I may have dug my own grave. But then the dark haired man smiled, looking somewhat impressed. He nodded thoughtfully,
"I agree. Forcing mages into servitude is not the way to prevent the rise of another Imperium."
I blinked in surprise. This mysterious stranger had just thrown support behind my words- which was a rare occurrence these days. I tried my best not to let it show, but the joy those words brought me forced a smile onto my lips.
"That's not usually the response I get," I replied. By the Maker, was I blushing?
"Perhaps we will work together better than expected."
The man nodded again,
"I would help any mage in these circumstances- map or no."
His words made my heart flutter. It had been so long since I'd heard such comforting words of support. Even longer since anyone had been willing to help me. And now this dark haired mage with those joyous amber eyes was willing to risk capture for me. I noticed, however, the man's words of support were not shared as strongly with his companions. His companion behind him, a young man with the same dark hair, shifted uncomfortably.
"Better make this good. We're risking a lot if we anger the Templars," he warned. His similar appearance made me wonder if he was the mage's brother. It was hard to tell if his words were born of brotherly concern, or disdain for their mission.
"I welcome your aid," I continued, "I have already sent word for Karl to meet me at the Chantry tonight. Join us there, and we'll ensure that no matter who is with him, we all walk away free."
The man nodded solemnly,
"I promise I'll do what I can. But first, I realised we haven't actually properly introduced ourselves to each other," he said, his voice jumping back to joviality. He held out his hand with a wide smile,
"Garret Hawke," he said. I took his hand his hand and shook it. His skin was warm and his grasp was strong. My heart did that annoying little flutter again as my skin touched his,
"Anders," I replied.
"Lovely name," he said. And then he gave me a wink. It was so fast I barely saw it, but my cheeks were fast enough to flush at the little gesture.
"I'll see you tonight, Anders," he said as he left. Once he was gone, I found myself staring at the door. I couldn't believe how foolishly taken I'd been with this Hawke. Here I was blushing like a schoolgirl while Karl still suffered under the Templars. How would he feel if he knew I'd been getting into a fluster over a wink from a complete stranger. But there was something about Hawke that was different. There was no question I had deep affection for Karl, but he had not stirred me the way the this dark haired mage did. I tried to push the feelings away as I went about organising the clinic, but I could not shift my mind from that smile, and those amber eyes. And I found myself anticipating tonight. I just hoped that everything went well, and that Hawke would only get to see the best side of me. If he saw anything else, well, despite his support of magic I did not expect him to remain so supportive of me if he knew of Justice. I doubted that even the best man in the world could remain by my side if they knew. Even a man like Hawke, with such a sweet smile, would never remain with a mage like me. I would just have to hold onto that wink, and that smile, and those amber eyes and warm hands for as long as I could.