My name is Kouta. Minazaki Kouta to be exact.

I see, I see… you're thinking I'm that Kouta who is a fruit Jesus? Too bad! A God doesn't have any rights to even stand against me! For I am a…

'Louder! You're my everything~~ Kagayaki afure rete yuku anata no oto wa, watashi no oto de Try to… Tsutateai no!'

Shut in NEET (still in training).

If you're wondering what I'm listening to right now, it is a song by a popular girl band called buds of roses.

Anyway.

My name is Minazaki Kouta, age 19 and got kicked out from my own business three days ago. So now I'm practically jobless, with a limited money in my bank account.

My family isn't in a great state right now, I mean my old man and my mom got divorced months ago, and neither of them would bring me. I'm pretty much abandoned. Great, right?

So now here I am, currently sitting alone in my bedroom while listening to Japanese music from my computer.

At least my failure of a parent gave me thirty million yen, that's a thing. But just like what I said earlier, I don't have that much money in my bank account. My own money, mind you.

"Ah shit, I ran out of cup noodles and also beer. Time to go to a convenient store."

I wore my red jacket as I quickly left my house.

"OH JESUS, THE SUN IS BRIGHT AS ALL HELLS TODAY!" What is wrong with you, you asshole of a ball?! You wanna fight or something?!

"Note to self: buy sunglasses sometimes."

The store is not that far from my house though, that's a plus.

As I walk under the scorching sun, I quickly realize how my appearance differs a lot with others around me. They all look happy and… full of themselves? I don't know I'm probably just salty because I lost my job.

I put on my hoodie and looked down in order to not make useless eye contacts with other people. Wow talk about being an edgelord.

"Thanks for your visit!"

I sighed as I walked out of the store. Sorry about the sudden time-skip, I don't like explaining my way to the store.

I look inside the plastic bag on my hand. Six cups of instant noodles and ten cans of beer. That'll do for the rest of the week.

"Now, time to safely go back to my safe haven which is my house without getting into any danger. Nope, definitely not going to trigger any flags this way!"

I walked with a confident pace, even the scorching asshole up there won't stop me!

That's right! It's not like I have any bounty for my head or anything! Everything is gonna be okay!

*SCREECH!*

As I hear the voice of wheels screeching furiously against the street, I look at my right and-

"Oh motherfuck-!"

*CRASH!*

The only thing I could see or hear is the people's screams, and my flying plastic bag that spills out my cup noodles and beer cans.

.

.

.

.

.

As I open my eyes, I could immediately notice that I'm sitting alone in this weird, hollow white space. Oh, great, I lost my job and I'm fucking dead. Can this day be any worse?

Also, I noticed a far more superior chair, or a throne I should say, in front of me with no one sitting on it. What a shame, I feel like the throne would make me feel better…

"Ahem. It appears I am late. I am very sorry."

"What?! Who said that?! Mind you I learned karate and broke my bones four times during my days!"

Out of nowhere, a girl with long silvery hair and blue eyes appeared. She wears a white hagoromo that is noticeably loose.

Okay, I changed my mind.

This day probably will go for the better!

"W-why are you staring at me like that?"

I quickly realized that I stared at her beautiful looks like some random pervert and coughed in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry, please don't call the cops."

The girl laughed as I sweat bullets. Oh, am I comedian now?

"You are really funny. I wouldn't try to arrest you or anything. You are dead after all."

I'm… dead?

"Wait, I'm really dead? As in, not in the living world anymore? Then is this heaven?"

The girl scratched her cheek, "Well… this is the second step to go to heaven, to be exact. But let's see. Your name is… Minazaki Kouta-san, am I right?"

I nodded.

"You were 19 years old when you died."

I nodded again.

"You were hit by a drunk man who drove his sedan recklessly, but you were actually killed not by the impact… b-but by your purchases, which was the beer cans…"

Wait, what?!

"H-h-hold on! Death by beer cans?! What kind of death is that?! Isn't that too embarrassing?!"

"W-well… there are various cases of… ridiculous deaths. Like for example, death by shock due to thinking you would die from getting hit by a truck, choking on rock candy, and death due to over grinding RPG games…"

I held my head tightly and held back my urge to scream like a dying pigeon. But I gave up.

"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN ITTTTTTTTTTTTTT ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!"

I rolled all over the boundless, endless void as the girl sweatdropped looking at my antics.

"C-calm down, please! I-I am Eris, the Goddess of Fortune! The reason why you met me in the first place is so that I could send you to heaven!"

I stopped rolling and I look at her, tears flowing out and snot coming out my nose.

"A-are you serious?"

"Yes, I am. But just like what my Senpai says… Heaven isn't really what you humans think. There are no entertainment because heaven is supposed to be a pure place. No TV, no console games and definitely no R-18 contents either!"

….

Screw religion and their influence. I mean, I got promised to have like, I don't know 4 angels to accompany me or something.

"What kind of heaven is that?!"

"W-well, you can talk all day long with other people there while enjoying the bright sun!"

"Screw that!"

"I wanted to at least have a fun time eternally in heaven, yet all I can do there is sitting around talking with those who have come before me under the radiant sun?! Fuck that! My parents disown me, I lost my job, I lost my girlfriend and I'm still a goddamned virgin when I'm dead! Aaaaaaaaaaaaa I can't stand it anymore, my life sucks!"

Well, it's just like what they say in RPG games.

Never expect anything if you're a side character.

I knew somehow or another, I was destined to be a hero. Someone who would be eventually praised by humanity because I have done something extremely spectacular.

But I guess things doesn't work out that way, huh?

"Now, now. Let's sit on each other's chairs, ok?"

I nodded and clumsily sat down on the wooden chair again.

Sigh… why must my life be this horrible?

"Kouta-san, if I were to say there's an alternate choice, would you take the offer?"

Oh? Now I'm interested.

"Let's hear it."

Eris-sama nodded before explaining.

"You see, humans like you play a lot of action games, no? Well, there is actually a world where fantasies come true, people who died can resurrect as a resident in said world. The Fantasy World, however, is a wonderful yet dangerous world. Why it's because a demon king is slowly but surely creeping out from the shadows, planning to overthrow the rules of that world!"

Wow, such cliché plot. Who made this up? I wanna punch them in their private parts.

"Are you sure you're not making this up?"

She shook her head, "No, I'm being serious. If you were to choose to be alive again in the Fantasy World, you may ask me one thing that shall help you there. It could be a spell that could overwrite damage, a holy sword that could purify anything it strikes, or even a magical tome that could become a fairy loli!"

Okay, the third example is very ridiculous.

"Say, Eris-sama."

"Eris is fine, even though I'm a Goddess, my physical body is younger than yours."

"Okay then. Eris, can I ask you something?"

"What is it?"

Oh God why is she so cute?

"The Fantasy World is nice and all… but I think I want to stay by your side."

Silence.

"EEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?!"

Then there's the unworldly scream. Thanks a lot, Cliché gods.

"No, like, aren't you lonely here? I can imagine you sitting alone in this stupid space waiting for other dead people to come. Aren't you sad? Because I sure do."

"W-well… I have my trusty angels that helped me sometimes…"

"Sometimes? So, they leave you alone most of the time? God, to think your angels are such dicks… why would they abandon someone as cute as you?"

Oh boy, coming from a virgin like me that line would be considered as my death flag. But I'm dead so screw it. No going back.

"W-well… I appreciate your offer, but I am okay being alone, most of the time…"

Tch.

So the 'ikemen harem protagonist' style doesn't work, huh?

Wait a minute.

Eris says that she will give me anything I wanted if I do want to live again in the Fantasy World.

Oh, now I get it. It appears playing puzzle solving games does help advancing my brain…

"Okay, okay. If that's what makes you happy then I won't force my way to be by your side… So, I guess I'll go to the Fantasy World."

"Really?"

I stand up while stretching my body. It's been a while since my last workout so I hope I could live a healthier life in my soon-to-be second world.

"Yup. And also, you said that I can ask for one thing, right?"

Eris smiles and stand up as well, "Yes! Anything for the next candidate to be a great hero!"

Oho, I like the sound of that.

"Absolutely anything?"

"Absolutely!"

I smirked as I held Eris' delicate hand. This is it, I knew for one thing.

The only way I can easily defeat the demon king is…

I may have been a loser when I'm alive, but now… it is different!

As the portal to the Fantasy World opened, I confidently say my next line.

"I want just one thing: I want you to accompany me in my quest to kill the demon king!"

The portal lets out a bright light that eventually eats me and Eris.

"Eh?! Wait, wait, wait! I possibly cannot do that! My job is to send people to either heaven or the Fantasy World, not to go to one of them!"

I laugh victoriously, "Fuhahahahaha! There's no going back now! You're coming with me!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

And now, as the light becoming too bright for its own good, is my turn to live once more in a Fantasy World.

I am not going to fail my life this time, I knew it.

After all, I have the Goddess of Fortune with me, what could possibly go wrong?

A/N: I'm starting a Konosuba fanfic because I feel like the series is just that good, haha. But as this is my second story, I won't update it soon because my first fic (from Hyperdimension Neptunia) is... not done yet, to put it simply. Soooo yeah! Sorry if the chapter is short and all. I feel like I want to make a shorter story or something. That is all from me, StarKnight07, signing out!