Halloween MMADness
It was Friday the 31st of October, Minerva and Albus had been happily married for many years. Voldemort was long since defeated, and at last the wizarding world could live in peace, and happiness - without fear. All their children were busy with their own lifes, so Albus had suggested that they spend a few days visiting some muggle friends of his. Their friends has been called away unexpectedly on business, so Minerva and Albus were spending a peaceful day alone.
Even though these were no longer such dangerous times, they'd both felt it neccessary to dress in muggle clothes while staying with their friends. Minerva was sensibly dressed in a green tartan skirt and top. Albus was wearing a jumper knitted for him by their eldest daughter Ailisa, it had alternating stripes of bright pink, deep purple and midnight blue with narrow gold lines in between each stripe. He'd decided to pair it with jeans that were tie dyed in rainbow colours, and fluffy pink bunny slippers with big floppy ears. It made Minerva's eyes hurt just to look at him, and she'd spent most ot the night surpressing groans of disgust at his outfit.
Minerva sighed as she wished for the umpteenth time, that her daughter had not inherited Albus' garish taste in clothing. Still at least he had finally stopped hiding half eaten carrots under his feet, then wiggling his toes and pretending that his slippers were eating the carrots. Minerva had heard more than enough cries of, "Oh I wonder who stole all the carrots ?" Followed by, "Oh look Minerva, my bunnies must have taken them ..." Albus seemed to think this hysterically funny even when repeated for the twentieth time, untill Minerva reminded him ascerbically that she was not five years old any more.
Albus was relaxing in a rocking chair by the fire, he was entertaining himself by making his slippers have a conversation. The left hand one was complaining that the rocking was making it sea sick, while the right hand one was grumbling that Albus' lime green socks needing washing. Minerva had snorted in disgust at such nonsence, then swept from the room with her nose in the air.
Just as Albus was going to call after her, and ask if he'd done anything to annoy her, there was a loud knock at the door.
Albus opened the door to see a small girl dressed as a fairy, beaming up at him angelically, as she said. "Twick or Tweat."
Albus smiled down his long crooked nose at her, "Oh that is a difficult question ..." He said, as he pretended to think.
"TWICK OR TWEAT !" The child said loudly, and waved a bag decorated with skulls and spiders at Albus.
"Well my dear I really think it would be most entertaining to see one of your tricks, I'm sure they're great fun." Albus said kindly, thinking that all children loved showing off their tricks.
For a second there was silence, and then an ear piercing wail from the child, "MUM THIS MEAN OLD MAN WON'T GIVE ME ANY CANDY !"
Instantly a woman dressed as Dracula appeared and proceeded to hit Albus over the head repeatedly, with a rubber axe that was covered in fake blood stains. "How dare you upset my little angel !" She bellowed at Albus, as he tried to shield himself from the blows.
"My dear madam, I assure you I had no intention to ...Ouch!" Albus yelped as one particularly hard blow landed on his ear.
Hearing the commotion minerva rushed out to see what was going on, as she took in the scene before her, Minerva's eyes blazed with fury. She might on occasion feel like whacking Albus herself, but she was dammed if she'd have some other woman clobber him. "STOP HITTING MY HUSBAND AT ONCE !" She thundered.
At once the woman froze, her axe hand raised above Albus' head, uncertainly she took a small step back and stuttered, "I ...I didn't mean any harm ...but he wouldn't give my daughter any candy ..."
"And why exactly would you expect my husband to share his candy with your daughter ?" Minerva demanded to know, as she fixed the hapless woman with a fiercesome glare. Albus had a horrible feeling that one of Minerva's famed lectures was imminent.
Once again, the woman took another uncertain step back, "Well you know ...Halloween and all that ...Trick or Treat ..." She answered nervously.
Minerva and Albus stared at each other baffled, "Trick or Treat ?" They both asked together.
"You mean you don't know about Trick or Treat ?" The woman asked, seeming quite shocked by this.
"It seems not." Albus answered, Minerva was still glaring angrily at the woman. "Perhaps you would do us the honour of explaining about Treat or Trick."
"It's Trick or Treat not Treat or Trick." The woman reminded him curtly, in a tone which caused Minerva to growl insults in gaelic under her breath. With a wary eye on Minerva, the woman asked in a far more polite voice, "Now do you want me to explain or not ?"
As the woman started to explain about Trick or Treating, Albus' eyes began to sparkle, finally he asked almost disbelievingly, "You get candy from Trick or Treating ?"
"Oh yes, always." Was the answer, which caused Albus' eyes to twinkle even more.
After the woman and her daughter had left, the little girl's arms laden with Albus' entire candy collection, Albus turned to Minerva and said, "Minerva, my dear, I have the most wonderful idea ..."
"No !" Minerva interrupted firmly.
"But you haven't even heard my idea yet ..." Albus protested.
"I don't care." Minerva snapped, her arms folded unyieldingly across her chest. "Your ideas are always crazy and insane, and I refuse to be involved."
"But ..." Albus began.
"NO !!" Minerva snapped.
Albus spent the next few minutes following Minerva around the house, trying desperately to persuade her to go Trick or Treating with him. He tried everything he could think of - charming her with his sparkling blue eyes, muttering sorrowfully that he was completely out of candy, and would never make it through the night without at least one lemon drop. Minerva was still adamant, so Albus resorted to the one thing he was sure would work.
"Scaredy cat!" Albus said "Or should I say Scaredy Tabby." Albus added, as he stood back and waited for the expected reaction. This always worked.
"That is not going to work this time." Minerva answered firmly, her face set in an expression of sternest determination.
"Scaredy Tabby..." Albus said again, almost disbelievingly.
"NO." Was Minerva's only answer.
For a few minutes there was silence as Albus looked unusually baffled, it had always worked in the past. Finally he said almost pleadingly, "I'll do anything you want if you'll just come Trick or Treating with me."
Minerva was just about to refuse, when an idea lept into her mind, "Anything ? Anything at all ?" She asked.
"Anything you want my Darling, I promise." Albus answered, his eyes gleaming in anticipation of all the candy he would be able to get.
"Good ...because I want to choose all of your outfits for the remainder of our stay here." Minerva said firmly.
Albus gasped in horror, the last time he'd tried letting Minerva choose his clothes he'd become quite depressed, by the dull colours she made him wear all the time.
"Unless of course you would prefer to go without lemon drops untill tomorrow ?" Minerva asked triumphantly, she knew when she'd won her battle.
Albus looked even more horrified at this, and immediately agreed to Minerva's demands, then dashed off excitedly to get ready.
A few minutes later Albus came down stairs, proudly resplendant in his Trick or Treating outfit. He'd transfigured one of his robes into a giant orange and black striped bumblebee costume, and on his head he was wearing a bright scarlet top hat, decorated with multicoloured lights that flashed on and off. Minerva took one look at him then shut her eyes tight, and prayed that she was hallucinating.
"Where's your costume Minerva ?" Albus asked gazing at her in dismay.
"No one said anything about me wearing a costume." Minerva stated firmly, almost daring him to disagree with her.
"You have to wear a costume otherwise it isn't proper Trick or Treating ..." Albus protested.
Minerva glared at Albus in exasperation, why did he always insist on involving her in his nonsence. Finally she snapped, "I am wearing a costume. I'm in costume as a witch who is pretending not to be a witch."
"Oh ...does that count ?" Albus asked uncertainly.
"Yes." Minerva answered firmly, as if she knew all about Trick or Treating, "It definitely counts. Now hurry up or all the candy will be gone." This had the desired effect of preventing any further protests from Albus.
Beaming joyfully Albus led the way out of the front door, while Minerva followed unwillingly, telling herself that it was worth it to be able to prevent Albus wearing his normal garish clothes.
As they stood together outside the first house, Albus said happily, "I wonder if they'll give me any lemon drops ..."
"Not everyone eats lemon drops." Minerva replied matter of factly.
"Good ...all the more for me then." Albus chuckled, as he stepped lightly up the garden path and knocked on the door of the house. As the door swung open, Albus put on his best smile, twinkled merrily and holding out his bright purple knitting basket, said hopefully, "Trick or Treat." Then lept back suddenly, just in time to save the tip of his nose from being trapped in the slamming door.
Things didn't go any better at the next few houses they visited - one woman glared at him in disgust and said, "Don't you think you're a bit old for this ?!" Another one asked where his children were, and when Albus answered that he had all the children he wanted thank you, but he would like some candy please, she threatened to call the police if he didn't leave. After that things just went from bad to worse, Albus must have had at least four buckets of water thrown over him, as well as something that smelled decidedly unpleasant. He'd also been chased by several large dogs and had ended up upside down in at least two rose bushs, as a result of tripping over while running away.
It didn't matter how many houses they went to, no one would give poor Albus any candy, not even when he tried walking on his knees in a desperate attempt to look smaller and more childlike. By the time they had been to all the houses in all of the nearby streets, Albus was wandering despondently along the dark pavements, his shoulders drooping abjectly, empty knitting basket trailing dejectedly from his hand. He looked so miserable and forlorn that Minerva couldn't help but feel sorry for him.
"Never mind Albus ..." She said, as she patted him tenderly on the arm, "I'll go first thing in the morning and buy you some candy."
Albus turned to face Minerva, the normal merry twinkle back in his eyes. "You know my darling, I may not have got any treats tonight, but I still have the best halloween treat that any man could ever have ..." Albus paused to kiss Minerva softly on the lips, then whispered, "And that my love is you ..."
Minerva's response was to hook a hand round her husbands neck, and draw his mouth down to hers. The feel of his lips on hers was as wonderful as ever, and as Minerva kissed her beloved husband she forgot all about how strange she must look, kissing a giant bumble bee with a scarlet top hat perched on his head.
Author's Notes
Whew 11.35pm, and I just managed to publish this in time for it to still be Halloween UK time, hope I'm in time for the rest of the world too. I wasn't going to do a Halloween story, then this idea sprung to mind and developed. :D Happy Halloween everyone, and if you enjoyed this then please review, reviews make authors dance happily and trip over their feet or the dog. :)