Death is approaching us.
Time is short lived.
Madness is all around us.
Who knows, whose next.
War has overruled my life, and here I am, in Korea fighting not for peace, but for survival.
As the light fades through the cascading trees of Korea. Crunches I thought were branches and twigs are actually the fragile rat bones that lay on the cold rotten earth, never been touched, just laid there, forgotten, until this very day. This malevolent and dangerous day. The day where the last of my dreams have deteriorated into a fog of smoke that drifts slowly towards the sun. Slowly, and surely it goes.
Dreams, dreams,
Sweet, sweet dreams
Help me through this night.
It's night patrol now. Unfortunately. Navigation is so difficult because its hard to be precise on where to go. And also any noises can be heard easier as it is quieter at night.
Many people die in the ambushes and guerrilla tactics by the Vietnamese soldiers but we don't mourn the dead, we can't, it will drive us mad, madder than we are now, madder than you can possibly think.
We don't mourn,
We don't cry,
But we feel.
I carried on walking, hoping for the best, but the best never came. Torrential rain was pounding at our skins, the muddy earth turned even more waterlogged and within a minute the earth could not be seen beneath the vast amount of water. That vast amount of water pulled all our energy away as we waded through water in search for higher ground.
As soon as we found higher ground we rested whilst being on lookout. As it was dark, vision was limited and everyone had to stay awake and be on guard but they were not. My head started to droop, my eyes lids fluttered and I drifted into a well needed sleep.
Sleep is not a dream.
A dream is not sleep.
Sleep is a nightmare,
Which can not deceive.
I woke up from the un refreshing sleep with hot sweat pouring down me.
I dreamed that I died.
I heard a rustle I saw something move, it was people.
Enemies.
Everyone else was asleep, how was I supposed to attract their attention. My rifle was too far away there was no way I could reach it on time. My heart was beating fast. I thought I was
going to be shot. Time was going in slow motion. I prayed and hoped that all came out well. The first gun shot was fired, everyone woke up. I dived for my rifle.
The battle for survival begun.
BANG
A piercing scream roamed the atmosphere.
BANG
A heart lost, a heart died.
BANG
A person stumbles, a person dies.
Approaching me was a Korean solider running towards me with no riffle. He was unarmed. I took the advantage.
I shot him.
I saw his dead eyes.
His dead eyes follow me. Everywhere they follow me, I can't take it anymore. It's driving me mad. I' ve killed before but it never effected me like this. It's the eyes. I saw the eyes. I saw the eyes.
Those eyes,
those eyes,
those deadly eyes.
Cursed me this day.
I am now lost in my own mind, my own thoughts. There's a way out. Only one, but it's a way out, and I'm going to take it.
Death, death,
Sweet, sweet death,
Show me the way to freedom.
As I pulled a shotgun to my head I said "please god give me mercy."