Disclaimer: I own not the wonderful world of Harry Potter. I claim no ties
to them beside the disgusting amount of love and adoration. Let it be
known! These characters are owned by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. She is a
goddess.
Warning: Involves slash and implied rape. Review is wanted, but flamers beware. Hell, I'll make this an over all apology. The next chapter will make up for this deed, loves, I promise. This just needed to happen to set the rest of this in motion.
"Just...Just fuck off Potter!" the boy screamed at the top of his lungs, slamming the door to the dormitories with a resounding clatter. His handsome face was twisted in anger, and in those angry lines of his scrunched face, tears fell in cool lines. He wheezed softly as he stomped to his bed, and threw himself into the comforter and pillows.
Remus doubted his friend had even seen him sitting so quietly on his own bed. A book spread out in front of him, with a wide eyed gaze directed at the very obviously upset Sirius. He'd never seen him cry. And how many times have you cried in front of him? Remus question himself, blushing at his inability to count. He'd always found it strange to think Sirius was the most emotional and empathetic of them all. He doubted anyone else knew that dirty little secret, so to speak, beside the Gryffindor tower's occasional glimpse of some sort of angry outburst.
Just like this one. I'll wait until he's done to make my presence known. Remus sat quietly, though the shaking frame of his friend soon made him feel as if he were being completely cold-hearted. How many times has he offered you solace, Remus Lupin? How many times has he held you until your tears dried?
Remus stood slowly, wincing at the creak of protest by his bed. Sirius didn't seem to notice, a strangled cry emitted between the wheezing sobs. Slowly, cautiously, Remus made his way over to the other boy's bed. He even took his time sitting down on the edge of the bed, careful to make his presence little more than nothing.
The lycanthrope still wasn't sure he wanted to do this. To comfort him. To be a friend? Mentally, he slapped himself for such thoughts. How dare he even consider not being there for him?
A quivering hand was slowly lowered to the youth's shoulder, and suddenly everything was still. Quiet. Nothing. He didn't even breathe, Remus noted, hurt. Why had he considered this as right?
The other boy turned suddenly, staring blearily, and red-eyed, at Remus. He looked faintly confused. Remus offered a small worried smile. Sirius' lips twitched, as if he were trying to say he was all right. "Reh....?" the hoarse voice questioned.
"Sh... Sirius. Everything will be fine." Remus felt cheap offering up such reassurances. Ones he'd heard too many times to believe anymore.
"Oh sweet Merlin, Remus, no it won't." With that, Remus suddenly found himself engulfed by his friend's confining arms. For a moment, Remus couldn't place himself at anywhere in particular. He couldn't figure out what had happened. The in slow stages, he returned the favor, hugging his friend to him. Sirius' head was buried in his shoulder, his knee awkwardly and painfully jabbing into Remus' side and his arms squeezing a tad too tight. Remus wanted to protest, but he couldn't find the heart to squeak out a protest, to interrupt Sirius' moment.
"James said something stupid, or was it Peter this time? You know you shouldn't listen to them. They can be such idiots. Not that you can't be, Padfoot, but..." Oh that was comforting. Sigh. Remus had never been good at this shit.
Abruptly, Sirius' lips were on his own. The sultry heat of his mouth, the saltiness of his tears, and Remus wanted none of it. He whimpered softly, trying to pull away, finding his friend far stronger than his own measly attempts to struggle.
Why was this wrong? Why was this wrong, when he'd spent nights simply sitting beside Sirius', watching the other boy sleep? Why was this wrong, when he'd fantasized endlessly, that his jokes were actually truthful when speaking in romantic tones to him?
Sirius turned the still struggling Remus, repositioning the smaller boy underneath him. Again, Remus whimpered, squirming, in hopes of Sirius coming to his senses. Please, God, Merlin, Godric, anyone...Save me from this...Burning tears dribbled onto Remus' cheeks, and he looked up, panicking into Sirius' cool blue eyes. If the tears weren't there, he wouldn't look like he was crying.
Remus' breath came raggedly when Sirius' mouth released his. And they stared at one another. Remus was terrified. He'd never thought of Sirius as being so strong. He'd never though of Sirius as this kind of person...
Then the steel of his friend's gaze fell, all barriers fell. And Sirius was no more than a child. A child asking for acceptance. A child reaching out desperately for some sort of attention. Remus had seen this in him before, but never so raw. Never.
Remus was stilled. How could he fight this? This wasn't something to fight. This was something... someone who needed reassurance. Who needed solace.
Gingerly, the fists that had been beating on Sirius' chest were wrapped around his neck. He did want this. He wanted this. He had always wanted this. No matter how many times he repeated it in his head, it didn't feel right. When he closed his eyes, it didn't go away. It would come again. It would be another kiss. It would be another lie. But Remus comforted his friend.
The warmth and wonderful sensation of flesh touching flesh was not enough to sedate him. He felt dirty. Even though Sirius now held him lovingly, even though Sirius had been gentle, even though he'd always wanted this...It was wrong. Remus held his breath as another sob tried to surface. Sirius nuzzled him between his shoulder blades, and Remus tried not to cringe.
Warning: Involves slash and implied rape. Review is wanted, but flamers beware. Hell, I'll make this an over all apology. The next chapter will make up for this deed, loves, I promise. This just needed to happen to set the rest of this in motion.
"Just...Just fuck off Potter!" the boy screamed at the top of his lungs, slamming the door to the dormitories with a resounding clatter. His handsome face was twisted in anger, and in those angry lines of his scrunched face, tears fell in cool lines. He wheezed softly as he stomped to his bed, and threw himself into the comforter and pillows.
Remus doubted his friend had even seen him sitting so quietly on his own bed. A book spread out in front of him, with a wide eyed gaze directed at the very obviously upset Sirius. He'd never seen him cry. And how many times have you cried in front of him? Remus question himself, blushing at his inability to count. He'd always found it strange to think Sirius was the most emotional and empathetic of them all. He doubted anyone else knew that dirty little secret, so to speak, beside the Gryffindor tower's occasional glimpse of some sort of angry outburst.
Just like this one. I'll wait until he's done to make my presence known. Remus sat quietly, though the shaking frame of his friend soon made him feel as if he were being completely cold-hearted. How many times has he offered you solace, Remus Lupin? How many times has he held you until your tears dried?
Remus stood slowly, wincing at the creak of protest by his bed. Sirius didn't seem to notice, a strangled cry emitted between the wheezing sobs. Slowly, cautiously, Remus made his way over to the other boy's bed. He even took his time sitting down on the edge of the bed, careful to make his presence little more than nothing.
The lycanthrope still wasn't sure he wanted to do this. To comfort him. To be a friend? Mentally, he slapped himself for such thoughts. How dare he even consider not being there for him?
A quivering hand was slowly lowered to the youth's shoulder, and suddenly everything was still. Quiet. Nothing. He didn't even breathe, Remus noted, hurt. Why had he considered this as right?
The other boy turned suddenly, staring blearily, and red-eyed, at Remus. He looked faintly confused. Remus offered a small worried smile. Sirius' lips twitched, as if he were trying to say he was all right. "Reh....?" the hoarse voice questioned.
"Sh... Sirius. Everything will be fine." Remus felt cheap offering up such reassurances. Ones he'd heard too many times to believe anymore.
"Oh sweet Merlin, Remus, no it won't." With that, Remus suddenly found himself engulfed by his friend's confining arms. For a moment, Remus couldn't place himself at anywhere in particular. He couldn't figure out what had happened. The in slow stages, he returned the favor, hugging his friend to him. Sirius' head was buried in his shoulder, his knee awkwardly and painfully jabbing into Remus' side and his arms squeezing a tad too tight. Remus wanted to protest, but he couldn't find the heart to squeak out a protest, to interrupt Sirius' moment.
"James said something stupid, or was it Peter this time? You know you shouldn't listen to them. They can be such idiots. Not that you can't be, Padfoot, but..." Oh that was comforting. Sigh. Remus had never been good at this shit.
Abruptly, Sirius' lips were on his own. The sultry heat of his mouth, the saltiness of his tears, and Remus wanted none of it. He whimpered softly, trying to pull away, finding his friend far stronger than his own measly attempts to struggle.
Why was this wrong? Why was this wrong, when he'd spent nights simply sitting beside Sirius', watching the other boy sleep? Why was this wrong, when he'd fantasized endlessly, that his jokes were actually truthful when speaking in romantic tones to him?
Sirius turned the still struggling Remus, repositioning the smaller boy underneath him. Again, Remus whimpered, squirming, in hopes of Sirius coming to his senses. Please, God, Merlin, Godric, anyone...Save me from this...Burning tears dribbled onto Remus' cheeks, and he looked up, panicking into Sirius' cool blue eyes. If the tears weren't there, he wouldn't look like he was crying.
Remus' breath came raggedly when Sirius' mouth released his. And they stared at one another. Remus was terrified. He'd never thought of Sirius as being so strong. He'd never though of Sirius as this kind of person...
Then the steel of his friend's gaze fell, all barriers fell. And Sirius was no more than a child. A child asking for acceptance. A child reaching out desperately for some sort of attention. Remus had seen this in him before, but never so raw. Never.
Remus was stilled. How could he fight this? This wasn't something to fight. This was something... someone who needed reassurance. Who needed solace.
Gingerly, the fists that had been beating on Sirius' chest were wrapped around his neck. He did want this. He wanted this. He had always wanted this. No matter how many times he repeated it in his head, it didn't feel right. When he closed his eyes, it didn't go away. It would come again. It would be another kiss. It would be another lie. But Remus comforted his friend.
The warmth and wonderful sensation of flesh touching flesh was not enough to sedate him. He felt dirty. Even though Sirius now held him lovingly, even though Sirius had been gentle, even though he'd always wanted this...It was wrong. Remus held his breath as another sob tried to surface. Sirius nuzzled him between his shoulder blades, and Remus tried not to cringe.