Title: Murder Buddies
Rated: M
Beta: Aubrey

Disclaimer: I don't own anything TVD or TO, nor would I want to because let's face it. Julie Plec singlehandedly destroyed those hopes and dreams. So here I live in my fanon, and deliver stuff of my own creation with the help of their characters and their mythology. To an extent. The end!

Hello my gorgeous darlings!
If you are a veteran reader of my fics you'll already know of all my author's notes antics. But if you're a new reader...hey girl heyyyy!
I'm Dee, I'll be your author for the remainder of this fic. Please note the emergency exits in the front and back of this fic. Please keep the aisles clear of any luggage and do not get up from your seat until otherwise indicated.

Wait. Wrong profession.

Just a quick FYI: all questions and comments are welcome and all suggestions are taken into consideration. I love my readers so I always make it a point to reply to reviews so don't be shy if you want to chat me up. I tend to talk too much in these things anyways. As I always ask, anonymous reviewers are great, and I know not everyone wants to sign up to the site just to read my gibberish. But it's so much easier to make conversation if I have something more to go on than the aboriginal "Guest" so just try to throw a fake name or a bunch of numbers in there so you will know my response is to YOU. ;)

And now, the first chapter of the long awaited Carenzo fic that I promised oh so long ago!

Chapter 1

Have you ever had that eureka moment where you realize you're not just living but alive? So very few people understand the concept of what it is to be human and to take advantage of that. Instead of embracing everything life has to offer, they let all these trivial things consume them and steal away their happiness. Emotions run amok and reality becomes fogged by anxiety, mental incapacities, and perpetual worry. In effect, humanity has become a burden that no one really wants to bear anymore.

Being tethered down by things like rules, morality, or a conscience have become tedious or tiresome. Emotions have turned into a festering disease that you can battle with all your might but can never seem to shake. And it's hard to decipher what is genuine and what is just a misconception of the mind, embellished by overthinking and overanalyzing. And that's when you become your worst. You feel everything too fast and too strong. And you get stuck in that mindset and pretend to call it 'passion' when really, it's just an overworked heart straining to stay afloat as the gruesome reality continuously pulls it under.

There's a whole plethora of feelings that can consume you on their own or all at once. And there's no escape. You're stuck with having to feel everything and based on that you become this person that's just living second to second through your feelings. Because humans don't have a say whether they can ignore what they feel. They can pretend. Shove everything away and act like nothing is bothering them but even that isn't enough to stop the emotional wear and tear that's happening on the inside. Humans have to carry that weight until it finally breaks them and they either go crazy or hurt someone. Or worse, themselves.

But the pessimist's outlook on life isn't unanimous. Feeling everything is a huge advantage as opposed to a sociopathic lifestyle. Experiencing everything with a raw lust for life is worth it. There are moments where, if you grab onto them and hold with all your might, you can feel genuine joy and excitement. Like when you feel that blood rush in your cheeks when a person of interest flirts with you. Or the churning in your stomach when you're petrified of failure. Even feeling the flames of anger in your chest when you've been wronged. Major or minute, morally right or wrong, these are things that are meant to be felt. These are what make life worth living and being human a blessing.

And what about love, anyway? It is the most coveted of all emotions, the highest state of emotional being a human can achieve. To love and be loved is that one constant in the world that everyone strives to find, or rather, feel. Doesn't that make enduring any hardship beforehand worth it? Doesn't the destruction that comes from the silent killer that is love, sneaking up on you when you least expect it and making you do all these outlandish things that the real you would never even consider doing, make you stronger in character and spirit? Doesn't it evolve you from a mere human into a human being?

So why did it take becoming inhuman to understand the actual value of humanity for so many vampires? Easy. It's that ages old saying at work: you never truly know what you've got until you lose it.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

The day her mother died had wrecked Caroline inside. Since receiving the news of her mother's condition, she had been taking strides to ensure a comfortable passing and less strenuous atmosphere than the sheriff's station could offer. And even though she had been trying to mentally coach herself through the process, knowing that her mother was going to leave her one way or another, nothing could prepare her for the actuality of her death. Seeing here there in the hospital bed, lifeless with no one looking out of those eyes would be a horrific memory forever etched into her brain. It was the last image of her mother and it was heart wrenching. She should have been home in her bed, comfortable and wearing something chic that Caroline herself had picked out, instead of cold and hooked up to machines in a polka dotted hospital gown that did nothing flattering for her whatsoever. She wanted more dignity for her mother's death. And instead she'd let her die without her there to say "it's okay" and that she could go.

At first she wanted to blame Stefan and make it his fault that she missed her last moments with her mother in the hospital because she'd been too busy out at the cabin ogling his biceps and kissing him in the conveniently romantic light of the setting sun and feeling herself engulfed in a warm cocoon of so-called love. If it wasn't for him doing his damnedest to force himself to love her, she would have been by her mother's side, saying good-bye to the one person who truly mattered and put her first and foremost. It was all his fault. He and his stupid lips and his fake sweet nothings that he'd suddenly conjured up out of nowhere. How could he do this to her?

But he hadn't, really. As soon as reality hit her, she faced the brutal fact that it wasn't Stefan's fault she wasn't there for her mom. It was her own. She let herself be swept away by a guy. Again. And it wasn't even a guy who cared enough to consider her as a viable option without the help of a thousand people shoving the idea down his throat. Seriously, you shouldn't have to work that hard if you love someone. She should have realized he wasn't sincere when he'd kept her anywhere but with her mother in her time of need.

And the funeral was even more than she could bear. Everything was perfect, the way she had planned, but it didn't matter. Saying that final good-bye had torn her apart inside. Literally, it felt like her heart was struggling to hang on to its last shred of life, forcefully pumping blood through her to sustain her immortal life. She would never be able to run to her mother's arms again when she was hurting. She would never be able to walk briskly into the house and call out "hi mom!" and know she would answer right away. She no longer had a mother to do all those things you were supposed to do with your mom, like planning spa days, or picking out wedding dresses, or marathoning The Bachelor on Saturday nights. She'd lost the last biological tie to her human life. And with that revelation, every other demon she'd tucked away came crashing down around her.

So she was a neurotic control freak with Type A tendencies. So what? And she was a notorious lightweight and slept around relatively often. But big deal? Who wasn't these days? Elena could bounce back and forth between Salvatores and no one would judge her. Bonnie could date her best friend's little brother and that wasn't a big deal. So why was it always that she was the world's worst person because she was human? Well, technically, she was a vampire who secretly liked to bite savagely into the necks of strangers to drink their blood to survive. But she couldn't let that be known because if anyone had seen her zen-like control exterior ever deteriorate she would be coddled beyond belief. And probably sent to some sort of vampiric A.A. meeting. If not chained up like some sort of crazy person. Come to think of it, her friends didn't really have great coping methods...

On top of that, her (now eternal) loneliness was kicking into full gear. Why was she such a bad judge of character every time she found a guy she thought she'd fallen for? Damon, Matt, Tyler, Klaus, Stefan. They were all just...wrong. Damon had abused her, Matt dropped her flat, Tyler was more concerned with vengeance, Klaus was completely psychotic, and Stefan was too stupid to realize what was right in front of him if it wasn't tall, dark and doppelganger.

But why should any of that matter anyway? So what if she wasn't human enough or enough like Elena for Matt? So what if Tyler chose his revenge over her? So what if Klaus left her for bigger and better ventures? So what if her mom had died and left her here alone? And so what if Stefan couldn't get over Elena - or himself - long enough to see that she was the best thing that could happen to him? If no one else was going to care about her, why should she care either? Where had it gotten her, really? After all these years of self-worth issues and insecurities, why couldn't she just finally stop caring and live?!

And that was when it hit her. She could. She could have everything if she just...turned it all off.

If she got rid of those annoying emotions and that little voice in her head that kept having to remind her the difference between right and wrong when she strayed too far from the path, she could have it all. And once the idea surfaced there was no pushing it back. The more she looked at her life, the easier it became to choose. It was time. Time to throw caution to the wind and time to say goodbye to the eternally tragic life she knew in Mystic Falls and hello to the world! It was time to put Caroline first instead of waiting for someone else to do it. This was a chance to start over and do something for herself instead of always surrendering to what everyone else expected of her. This was the opportunity to explore who and what she really was without having to feel sorry for doing it.

Humanity had served its purpose but now it was time for fun. And once she'd flipped the switch, she knew just who she would look for to have it.

The Grille was almost a ghost town during the day which was good, because it made slipping away much less tedious. She assumed her friends were having one of their notorious pow wows to decide what to do with her now that Elena had recovered from her snapped neck. Which made it the perfect time to pack up and go. But there was one person who deserved to have some fun with her. After all, he was basically the only stable person in her life at this point. And since he was perpetually outcast, no one would miss him.

It took a few moments for Enzo's gaze to deviate from his current prospect - a tawny haired girl with wide doe eyes that went all googly at the sight of him - and latch onto her sitting there watching him with a smirk, hands folded neatly on the table. He grinned back like he was tickled to see those eyes all for him for a change, and she knew she had ensnared him. He lingered a beat to appreciate the moment then meandered over, sitting with a drawly sigh.

"Now what could I possibly have done to warrant your attention?"

Caroline leaned forward, eyes twinkling, hands still folded under her chest. "How would you like to join me on a little trip?"

"A trip? Bit abrupt for a woman in mourning." He leaned forward too and narrowing his eyes. "What's the catch?"

"No catch." She leaned back coolly. "I just assumed you were tired of slumming it with the town sluts." She nodded at the girl watching them.

He lifted a brow and looked back at her too, turning back both amused and confused by her attitude. He smiled cheekily. "I've never been much of a picky eater."

"Well..." She slid her hand over his, flicking her eyes to his flirtatiously. "What if I said I'd make it worth your while?"

He watched her hand, slowly lifting his skeptical gaze to hers while maintaining his smirk. "First, I'd want to know how." He slipped his hand out from her grasp and stood, expression dulling. "But then I'd realize you were probably sent to trick me into whatever new trap Damon and Stefan have created to kill me. Game over, gorgeous."

He started to walk away and she whooshed around him, blocking his path. He blinked in surprise and she let out a curt laugh, shaking her head. "You think I'd let them manipulate me into being a distraction tactic again?"

"Well if it looks and walks like a duck..."

She glared and bared her fangs, speeding him into the nearest wall and squeezing his neck in warning. "Don't. Test me."

"Why not?" He grinned and spun them around in a flash of speed so she was against the wall now. "Don't forget, I've already suffered worse than anything you can do." He looked her over with a newly forming smirk. "Not bad foreplay, though."

She scoffed and shoved him off her. "You're beneath me."

"Not yet I'm not." She stared dully and it made him grin wider. "Oh come on. The old you would have laughed at that." She tensed and he rolled his eyes. "You think I don't know when a vampire's turned their humanity off? My only question is why."

"Why not? And don't try and pretend you actually care. It's annoying."

"You're right. I don't care. But you will. Once your band of merry men gets you to turn it back on."

"Why do you think I came to you?" He lifted a brow, interest piqued. She crossed her arms, huffing. "Look. I'm leaving. I was extending a courtesy by asking you to join me but if you want to rot in this town and continue being harassed by Stefan and whoever else, then go ahead. I'm out of here."

Caroline stalked toward the door coolly, counting off to five in her head to see how long until he stopped her. She made it just outside the door before a gust of wind hit her back. She smiled to herself in satisfaction and turned around, Enzo there behind her.

"Do you have any idea what you're getting yourself into?"

She pursed her lips in a smirk, looking him over and pausing briefly as she opened her mouth. "As a matter of fact, I'm banking on it."

He narrowed his eyes briefly, evaluating her until eventually his lips formed a smirk. "Well then. Where to, gorgeous?"

Caroline smiled, thrilled. Damon had told her the coming days would be her worst, but she was determined to make them her bitch.