Alice sat silently at the table, watching me without interest as I ate my unusually large breakfast, a whole bowl of flaky cereal with milk and two glasses of orange juice. I was surprisingly very hungry, usually I didn't eat much when Edward was gone. He had left the night before, promising that he would come home as soon as possible, but he was on a three day hunting trip; Carlisle was taking him and emmet to hunt grizzlies before they went into hibernation, it was hard to believe that it was fall already.

This summer had flown by, and everyday had been the same; wake up in the cool marble arms of Edward, go somewhere -anywhere- with Edward, and then go to bed only to find that Edward was waiting on my bed for me as I opened my bedroom door.

It always caught me off guard when I saw him, the pale skin of his forehead, slightly covered by a wisp of bronze hair, and his eyes, like pools of liquid, always a slightly different shade than the day before. This change was dramatic after he went hunting, when they would change from a deep almost-black, to a smooth amber color.

And the best part was that I was always happy now, and I had been carefully pointing out to Charlie that I had been hanging out with all of my other friends too. All of them except one, Jacob black.

He was a boy/werewolf, my protector/potential danger (according to Edward), and my friend/would be crush if Edward hadn't come back into the picture a while back and declared his eternal love for me, promising never to leave me again.

I hadn't seen Jacob in months, I wasn't allowed (according to Edward) because it, "isn't safe for you to be running around with a bunch of wolves, especially young ones. If I don't stop you and anything happens to you I could never forgive myself. I am still living with enough guilt, I cant let you out of my sight," he had pleaded with me one night after I questioned about visiting Jacob on the reserve.

Charlie kept telling me that I needed to call Jacob, I needed to go visit Jacob, I needed to hang out and study with Jacob like we used to, but I could never find the chance to do so without another speech from Edward on my safety and his 'sense of responsibility.' So I was happy, mostly.

I just still had that tiny part of me that felt like there was small hole torn in my heart. A little piece was missing and I wanted it back, but to hold on to that one piece, I would destroy everything that I had fought for, everything that I loved.

Alice watched me as recalled this summers repetitive events in my head, everyday the same routine, but each day I had something to count on, Edward would be there.

I wondered if I was making faces, because Alice looked puzzled, her head was tilted slightly, it looked like she was thinking. She realized that I was studying her expression and quickly brought a charming smile to her lips, but it didn't reach her eyes.

I faked a smile back, for her sake, but I it got me wondering what she might be trying to covering up.

I was finished eating so I threw my bowl and glass into the empty side of the sink to be washed later. Alice stood and followed as I clomped up the stairs to my bedroom to grab my jacket because, as always, it would probably rain and I really didn't want to get sick.

Alice still had a confused look on her face as she asked, "where are we going today 'bella'?" Of course when Edward was gone alice took up his post as Labrador retriever and followed me anywhere I went to " make sure that you don't do anything stupid while im away" Edward had reminded me before he had left.

So even when Edward was gone I couldn't go visit Jacob. There was no way to be perfectly happy without losing one side or the other, I would not lose Edward again, but I wasn't ready to let go of Jacob just yet. The fact that he made me happy when nothing else could made my heart hold onto him however it could.

It was like how velcro sticks to a fuzzy sweater, and even when someone tries to pull the Velcro away, some of the sweater fuzz comes with it, and is impossible to seperate. 'I really need to talk to jake' I told my self.

I ran through where I wanted to go for the day in my head, basically just reminding myself that I wasn't able to go to jake so I had nowhere else to go. I tried to think of an escape plan, but all of them ended in me being kidnapped by alice and taken to her house to play life-sized Barbie doll for the day, so I gave up on escape.

" 'bella' ?" alice patiently waited for me to respond, standing in my doorway as I sat on my bed with my jacket across my lap pondering. "I don't know about you, but I am going to drive to the theatre to catch a movie," I stated plainly. I wasn't really in the mood to sit and watch a movie, but I wasn't in the mood to be babysat either so it didn't make much difference what we did. Atleast in a movie theatre I would have something to do other than listen to the rain blow against my window.

"ok," she said hesitantly " what are we going to see?" I hadn't thought of that so I tried to picture the last advertisement id seen for a good movie, I think it had said it was a comedy, or was it an action movie? I couldn't remember, but the title had something to do with the a battle between brothers, or something along those lines.

"I think I know what I want to see, im just gonna check the list once we are there to make sure its still playing" I couldn't remember when I had seen that advertisement anyway… It could have been a month old.

" ok" she said, " but im driving"

Alice was quiet on the way to the theatre, biting on her lip, and every now and then glancing over at me, gauging my expression as if she thought I was about to jump ship or something, randomly try to escape. She seemed quite edgy.

Nothing bad had happened, I knew, because we had a truce that she would tell me if she saw anything happen to Edward or the others, or if anything or anyone that was potentially dangerous came near here or became a threat to our safety (not really 'our safety' because nothing could really hurt them, more like 'my safety' but it sounds less selfish when I word it that way).

Nothing was a real danger to the cullens, other than me-I always seem to be the reason for them being in dangerous situations, and then Edward blames himself for some crazy overprotective reason.

I trusted her word on that one, but I still couldn't pinpoint what could cause her act how she was.

I let my thoughts wander as I watched the small gentle rain drops that were hitting the windshield turn into big bullets of water that pounded against the roof as we sped up to her normal driving speed.

"Is the heat on in this thing?" I questioned as I realized that I was sweating profusely even though my jacket was off and I was in a t shirt.

" no," she replied quickly, "would you like it on?"

'of course her skin was so cold that she surely wouldn't notice how hot the car was getting,' I thought to myself.

"no, no," I said, "im actually really really warm." She looked at me with her eyebrows raised, and skeptical but worried at the same time. "Its only 50 degrees in here 'bella'" she stated as she glanced down at the temperature reading on her car guage so quickly that I barely noticed that her eyes had moved from my face. " you shouldn't be feeling warm"

"oh," I said confusedly, " I guess not, maybe its just in my head or something." I said trying to brush away the thought that maybe I was going crazy after all.

"no 'bella' look." Alice said, sounding as confused as I felt as she pointed to the neck of my shirt where the sweat had soaked through the material. I touched the wet cotton, frowning.

'I never sweat like this' I thought, 'not even in the arizona heat' "oh. Wow." I said, she could hear the shock in my voice, now I was honestly getting worried for myself.

'what if this is some odd condition where you go insane and sweat until you dehydrate even if its cold outside and…' but alice interrupted my train of panicked thoughts.

" I am going to take you back to your home straight away" she said, making it quite clear that it was not a question in any way. She pulled a u-turn in the middle of the road and sped back towards the house.

Alice pulled into the driveway at my house, right in Charlie's spot-I realized but didn't mention to her-but he wouldn't mind anyway, he loved alice. Alice's inhuman speed, and agility never ceased to amaze me. As soon as the car stopped moving she already had my door open and was ready to steady me if I felt wobbly on my way into the house.

I was still drenched in sweat by the time she set me gently onto the couch and offered to get me some ice water, which I gulped down generously with many thank yous.

I felt fine, nothing hurt, and the only difference from me on any other day was that I was sweating as if I had run a marathon (as if I could ever run a marathon or anything close- I FAIL at gym class).

Alice sat beside me on the couch, watching me to see if I was about to pass out or something, and the puzzled look was on her face again. It looked as if she was trying to think about something, but couldn't quite remember it. That's the look that mike gets in science class on the exams when he forgets to study the night before; he knows the answer is in his head somewhere, but he just cant seem to find it in all the jumble.

I held the cold glass of ice water against my face, the cold condensation on the outside of the glass felt nice, if Edward was here I would have just layed against him to be cooler but this was alice not Edward.

I rested my head back against the couch, trying to let my thoughts settle because they like to jump around in my head and confuse me, but just as I was trying to organize my scattered brain my stomach growled and alice laughed.

The golden tone of her laughter rung in my ears, if I didn't think of her as a sister I would be angry that she could have such a beautiful voice that I coudnt ever be compare to.

"being human is so inconvenient" she smiled and we both got up and walked to the kitchen. "no, you go rest," she said. Alice was so nice to me it was hard to believe that I deserved as much generocity as she gave me.

" I feel fine," I answered honestly, "just a little warm, and a lot hungry."

"time for lunch then," she said and I looked over at the clock. It was only 10 am. I had eaten breakfast just two hours before. Usually I eat my meals atleast four hours apart, and if it's a large meal, like my breakfast earlier that day, maybe even longer.

my growling stomach interrupted my thinking again. Its like my body tried to sabatoge itself every chance it got.

"what would you like me to make you?" alice asked, lately she had been monitoring my cooking and seemed to think that although I could make meals for Charlie and myself, that she could do better using a some cookbooks she had found.

"whatever you can make" I answered quickly, not wanting to make things too difficult on her, not that she would mind.

"ok then, cheff's choice," she grinned excitedly at a chance to try out her new cooking skills on me, but still- I could tell that the smile was only on the skin, underneath she wasn't worried about what she was making for lunch.

I could tell that something was up, I just didn't know what.

I watched jealously as alice leapt gracefully across the kitchen gathering the necessary supplies and ingredients, somehow finding everything quite quickly in my muddles kitchen.

The pots and pans didn't even clink as she set them on the counter. She could be so delicate, yet I knew she probably had more power in one finger than I did all over my body.

"Unfair advantages," I thought.

All alice had to do was ask and any man would easily do her bidding, she would never have a hard time getting us special backstage passes, or sold out tickets to a concert playing in half an hour (both things that she had eagerly suggested as late minute birthday presents my past birthday).

Even at simple tasks I was outshone; something as small as a thirty minute grocery run could be condensed into a minute or two.

I could be like her; flawless, beautiful, strong, something more than just me. I was denied my perfect future: they wouldn't change me- unless, of course, I married Edward, officially becoming part of the family.

I hated commitments, and was nowhere near saying yes to getting married, besides mom would have been so disappointed if I didn't take my time to think things through.

I lingered in the doorway for a minute, thinking of those things, as Alice set a pot of water on the stove to boil and began skinning a few potatoes from the potato sack in the cupboard. She grabbed a steak that was thawing in the fridge and threw it in a pan with some marinade.

Alice did all of this at a normal, human pace, trying to do her best to impress me with her fine cooking, I bet.

I still felt warmer than I should have, so I grabbed a bag of frozen peas from the freezer and layed down on the couch, letting the cold veggies cool my forehead as I relaxed.