I know I haven't written a LoZ story in a long time, but I was busy...with...stuff...yeah, stuff. Just enjoy this one :) WARNING: super randomness

Dammit Link!

Vaati's realm of evil. The home of his castle. The place where he mixed and maxed potions he could use on Zelda and his arch nemesis Link. Well, so now here was Vaati in is grand castle of wonders deep down in his lab. He had been up for 72 hours looking for the best potion of destruction. A potion he could use to destroy Hyrule and Link, so he would rule. Sadly…due to some circumstances he didn't want to talk about, he would need to convince, aka force, Zelda to marry him.

Vaati yawned as he flipped through his spell book that he found just recently on his book shelf. Surprising, since it was a relatively new book. Then again, Vaati wasn't exactly the neatest when it came to storing his spell books. That's where is pride diminished. He found a spell that seemed easy enough and grabbed a vial of frog's breath off of his shelf. When he turned around, he was staring in the face of his so called nemesis.

"AGH!" Vaati jumped. The frog's breath was lost, but Vaati caught it before it hit the floor. He looked up at the green-wearing buffoon.

"Hey, Vaati. I'm ready!" Link smiled. Vaati really wanted to zap him with some lightning, but his curios anger got the better of him.

"What on earth are you talking about? Ready for what?"

"My lesson in magic!!"

Vaati was a bit taken aback at this. He shook his head and turned his back. What a foolish, foolish child to think that he, Vaati, would waste time teaching him magic. Pfft. A dullard!

"Hey! Hey! You promised!!!!!"

That was a laugh. And so Vaati did. Right in Link's face. Link crossed his arms to the laughing Wind Mage.

"Promised? My not so dear confused enemy, you must be mistaken."

Link rolled his eyes at him making Vaati crazy. He so wanted to just finish Link off right here and now, but that was never the plot. Damn.

"Check your left pectoral."

"My left…? What's wrong with you? Will you just leave!?"

"Not until you check. You. Made. A. Promise." Link pressed harsher than ever. Vaati stuck a purple-gray finger in his face.

"Don't you dare get an attitude with me, Link!"

"You know my name…Heh." Link smiled a goofy smile. Vaati pinched the bridge of his nose. This was getting far too irritating. He had plans to carry out. This was not part of the plan.

"Fine. Fine. FINE. I'll check my pectoral, but what do you hope to gain out of it?"

"You crossed you heart and hoped to die."

"I crossed my heart? That sounds very unlike me but fine!" Vaati turned around and first took off his cape. He proceeded to take his shirt off. Link whistled.

"Wow, you've been working out."

"Just shut the fuck up and stand there!!!!!!" Vaati yelled. Flattery was far past the point of getting him back in a good mood. He looked at his left pec and there marked on it was the mark of promises. An X. Vaati swore to himself and turned around angrily.

"How did this get here!??!" He blew up at Link.

"I told you. You made a promise to me."

Vaati put his clothes on and sat down. How the hell did this happen? This was crazy. He sighed into his hands.

"What did you do?" He asked shaking his head. His voice was quiet. He was sulking.

"Are you…sulking?" Link smiled.

"I don't sulk! I brood."

"Well, it was about 1:00 am when I got here, and I went to your room. I saw you and asked if you would teach me magic. You grumbled and said yes. I said really, no take backs? That's when you crossed your heart."

Vaati put his head up and his face turned blood red. He grabbed Link's neck, choking him.

"You asked me when I was asleep!" He said through clenched teeth. Link nodded with a smile. Vaati threw him down. There was no fixing it now. He sighed with defeat and led Link to the shelf that held all of his spell books. Link's eyes twinkled.

"I can choose!?"

"Sure…why not…?" Vaati said without enthusiasm. This was the most screwed up day of his life…no…the day Link fell in love with him was worse. He huffed trying to forget the memory. Link yelled out.

"I found one!"

Vaati removed the book from Link's hand and read what he had chosen. How simple his mind worked. It was a spell to get children to behave properly.

"Why would you want to do this?" Vaati asked.

"There are a couple of children where I live. Eh….not pretty."

Vaati shrugged. It was none of his business. He didn't really care in the least to say. He sighed again.

"Let's get started by grabbing the ingredients."

Link hurriedly grabbed everything he needed, but in his excitement, he didn't grab Proper Hey, he grabbed Child Toxin. The bottles were similar after all. Aren't they all? Vaati didn't even double check to make sure everything was correct. He just let Link do his own thing while he watched lazily. It got more annoying when Link started,

"Is this right, Vaati? Is it? Am I doing this right? Vaati? Like this?"

"Sure, kid." Vaati always replied to his questions with a yawn. At least, now he knew why he was so tired aside from the continued disturbance from the other night. What a Night that was…Vaati sighed. This was boring him to tears. Plus, it was a nuisance.

"I think I finished." Link said. Vaati looked at the purple concoction. He pushed Link out of the way. He looked at it carefully. That's weird. When he saw this potion, it was blue. Why was it----BOOOOOOM!!!

Link looked at his experiment that had just exploded in Vaati's face. This was not good, and Vaati would surely be upset when the smoke cleared. Maybe he should get outta' here before the smoke cleared. Just as he made a step to leave, he heard a small cry. He turned around. In the place of the powerful Wind Mage was a mere child Link clasped his hands over his mouth at the sight. I am so screwed, he thought. Vaati coughed several times. He opened his bright, red eyes and clenched his teeth.

"You IDIOT!!!! That was completely WRONG! Did you even follow the book!!?" He yelled. Link could only stare at him. Vaati waved his hands.

"Idiot! Wake up! I am talking to you!" He was surprised when Link pulled him into a hug.

"You are just the cutest little thing!!!!!" He oozed. Vaati squirmed trying to break free.

"What are you talking about now?! Unhand me!!!!" He yelled. He stopped. "Is that my voice!?"

He punched Link in his jaw forcing him to release him. He dropped to the ground and held up a mirror. He screamed at the sight of himself. A kid. A kid is what he saw. He still looked the same, but he was a child! He turned to Link, fists up.

"I SHOULD KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!" He yelled. Link smiled.

"You can't do that. It wouldn't follow the plot."

"SCREW THE PLOT! I'M A KID!!"

"And I will take care of you for as long as it takes."

Vaati crossed his arms. At least he was taking responsibility for his actions. Vaati walked. He noticed his hair was dragged on the floor. Freak Out Time (FOT).

"My hair!!! My beautiful hair! Dragged on the ground!! Link! Save my hair!!"

Link grabbed a pair of scissors. Vaati smacked them away.

"Don't be a dumbass."

"It's the only way."

"But-!"

"No buts. I am your caretaker. I know what's best."

"Since when?"

"Now. I won't take that much off. Just as much as it takes for it to not be on the floor."

"Fine."

Snip, Snip, Snip. Vaati looked at his locks of beautiful hair on the ground. His eyes got big and watery. He slapped himself.

"Let's go."

"Go? Go where?"

"Obviously I don't want my minions to see me…or Dark Link now that he has decided to live in my castle…"

"He lived here!? HEY DAK LINK!!!!"

Vaati punched Link.

"What did I just say!? Do you listen to a word anyone tells you?"

Link rolled his eyes slowly thinking about the question. Vaati put his head back and put his fingers to his throat.

"I need a knife…." He groaned. Link smiled and jerked Vaati so his head was facing him once again.

"I don't understand the question."

Vaati was about to say something when who else but Dark Link should stroll into the spell room. Vaati was small enough to hide under a cauldron. Link looked at the cauldron Vaati scurried over. A sword was put to his throat. He looked at Dark with his eyes.

"Dark Link. I see we can't ever be friendly towards one another."

Dark Link smiled.

"That will never happen. Why are you here?"

"Magic lesson."

"Magic lesson?"

"Magic. Lesson."

Dark link scratched his head. What's up with that? Vaati never gave him a magic lesson and here he was teaching the very boy he hated. Bull Shit. Dark pouted.

"Where's Vaati. I need have a word with him."

"Uuuuuuuhh….." Link looked at the cauldron but back at Dark Link. "He stepped under… I mean! Out."

The cauldron rattled in displeasure. Dark Link scowled. Vaati was never one for cleaning. He probably had rats all over the place in this dusty little room of his. Dark Link kept the sword by Link's throat and moved over to the cauldron. When he picked it up…well…he never expected to see that. He dropped his sword allowing Link to move freely.

"Er…Is…he…what…VAATI!?" Dark Link stuttered. Vaati dusted himself off and gave a dagger glare to Link.

"How did this happen?"

"I'm bad at magic."

"Horrific." Vaati said. Link stuck his tongue out at Vaati.

"Dark Link, if you really wanted to prove your friendship to me, I would appreciate Link's head on a platter."

"Whoa…we gotta' follow the…"

"Don't say plot."

Link stood up and stretched.

"I gave to go."

Vaati grabbed a ribbon, turned it into a lasso, and pulled Link back onto the floor. He looked Link right in his blue eyes with his red ones.

"Don't think so. You're responsible for this."

"I can take you with me…" Link suggested slowly. Vaati smiled evilly.

"That you will."

"What about me?" Dark Link asked. Vaati pat his friend's knee while shaking his head.

"I don't think you want to stick around. Very violent things are going to happen to this guy." He pointed at Link who was smiling. Dark Link nodded. When Vaati a=said violent things, he meant horrible, horrible things were going to happen. Dark Link ran out of the room. Vaati jumped into Link's arms.

"Take me."

"What?"

"You said you had to leave."

"Oh! Right! Forgot."

Vaati buried his head in his hands. This was now way worse than when Link fell in love with him…and that was because of a potion too. Damn these potions of his.