Probably the weirdest thing I ever wrote. But I still publish it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Miraculous.
"What a good day for another day of ruining other peoples lives" Said Hawk Moth passing through a hall.
"I wonder, what my favorite buddy is doing right now" Asked Hawk Moth standing in front of a door with the text The Evillustrator.
He heard from there a foreign panting, which caught his attention.
"Is that Volpina?" Asked Hawk Moth and heard Evillustrator's laugh.
"Do you really want me to do a baby for you?" Asked the Evillustrator followed by a chuckle from the girl.
"Not for me, for us" Corrected Volpina.
Hawk Moth shrieked by this and leaned his ear on the door to listen to their conversation.
"I can really imagine our son very well, green eyes, red hair..."
"Oh sounds very nice" Replied the Evillustrator.
"Then let's do this daddy" Said Volpina giggling along with the Evillustrator.
"Alright," Said the Evillustrator. "Get ready girl"
After a little while, Volpina was panting again and Hawk Moth wondered if those two were already doing it.
"How am I doing?" Asked the Evillustrator receiving a short moan as an answer.
"Fantastic" Responded Volpina, causing Hawk Moth to twist his face in disgust.
"Oh really?" Asked the Evillustrator with a groan.
"Of course" Giggled Volpina sounding slightly erotic to the boy. "I've never met someone as skilled as you are"
"Sounds great," Said the Evillustrator with a chuckle. "I'm doing my best"
"Wow" Moaned Volpina and Hawk Moth growled at the two having fun together in the room.
"Wouldn't you mind if you would do me a hand job?" Asked the Evillustrator. "You know, with my fellow friend here?"
"A hand job?" Asked Volpina.
"A hand job?" Asked Hawk Moth. "Now they're going too far!"
"Yeah well put your hand over here," Said the Evillustrator, then Hawk Moth heard Volpina shriek.
"It's so mild" Said Volpina and the Evillustrator groaned.
"Rub it a bit harder" Demanded the Akuma.
"Your wish is my command" Giggled the Vixen themed villain, making the Evillustrator moaning again, ticking Hawk Moth off.
"Enough is enough!" Shouted Hawk Moth and kicked the door down and saw something, he didn't ever expect to catch. He saw the eyes of both Akuma villains looking at him in surprise while sitting on the Evillustrator's bed. The Evillustrator had his tablet on his right arm and hold his left hand with the pen over the screen. Volpina held with both of her hands the guy's hand and her right one was over his left hand.
"Uh hi, boss" Greeted the Evillustrator.
"What were you to doing?" Asked Hawk Moth.
"I was giving him a hand job. He had a cramp on his hand and I massaged it for him" Replied Volpina. "Why?"
"That's not a handjob you idiots, a handjob is…..something else"
"Uh...where you staying in front of the door and listening to us?" Asked the Evillustrator neutrally.
"I've heard you two talking about, that you two wanted to make a baby, then I heard your voices and thought you two were….well..."
"No! You're crazy?" Asked Volpina. "He was drawing a child of me and him," Said Volpina as the Evillustrator kept drawing on his tab.
"…..really?" Asked Hawk Moth embarrassed. The Evillustrator's drawing came to life and the boy looked identical to the Evillustrator's human alter ego Nathaniel, having inherited Lila Rossi's green eyes, which is Volpina's alter ego. His hair was as red as the Evillustrator's and his costume was similar to Volpina's, just more of a dark tune.
"Mamam, Papa," Said the kid and hugged both of his parents.
"My son" Said Volpina touched by their first encounter.
"He'll be a great villain," Said the Evillustrator passing a hand under his eye, to clean up a tear. "Believe me Hawk Moth"
"Okay….well I gotta go...see how the other's are doing…." Said Hawk Moth closing the door for the new family.
"We should introduce him to his grandma" Suggested the Evillustrator.
"Yeah" Agreed Volpina. "By the way, care for a sixty-nine?" Asked Volpina receiving a shout of the guy.