Doubts & Pain

One-shot series! This is new. Author's Note on the end this is totally not my only idea so far for this uh series?

Hope you like it! I'll talk more at the end

Enjoy!

Shintaro

Finally, everyone is safe. Well mostly, Ayano's father and mother are still gone. Same as Mary's mom.

Is it okay to at least say mostly everyone is okay?

Oh well that doesn't matter I guess. Everyone seems happy, so that's good. It feels weird to be on the school roof however, I've just been avoiding my gaze from the spot where Ayano jumped off all those years ago.

Ayano.

Right now she's been having a reunion with her family. Heh, Seto's introducing Mary to her. Ayano looks excited, happy too. Probably because it's been two years since she's seen them. She also looks proud. She still looks beautiful, I guess she didn't really grow though so that's understandable.

Looking away from that group, I see where my sister is. She's talking to Hiyori and Hibiya it looks like. Hibiya has a huge blush while Hiyori is laughing. Hiyori also looks excited, she clearly adores Momo. Considering they just met It's probably because of Momo's idol status.

Realizing Momos okay and having a good time as well I look towards Ene. Or Takane, I'll probably never get used to that. I feel a little guilty that I never knew of Haruka's or Ene's death that happened on the same day as Ayano's.

A little.

Why she had to annoy me those two years is beyond me though. When we first appeared here I remember while other groups had activities such as crying in joy, she kissed Haruka. I mean there was still the tears but kissed… I guess it makes sense, it is clear that they have liked each other and they just got their chance back. It also leaves her too distracted to bother me, so I'm totally fine with it.

I had to basically live through six years with her considering I got my memories back from all the other times we lived this. Which was two years each! With only her!

This is also finally my chance with Ayano. Heh funny. She thinks of me as a friend even though she probably shouldn't considering how mean I was back then, before her "death".

I deserve to be alone anyways, I mean the only reason I have this much time to think is because I was forgotten. I have no place here, with these people. They don't need me. Besides I'm tired and my room sounds perfect right now. No one will notice either, I've been sitting here awkwardly for a half an hour now. I don't even know why I stayed this long.

Probably because of Ayano, hey! My tears, wiping them away and making sure I don't remember any more of. That. It makes it harder considering I remember all of the previous times. I turned towards the door and grabbed the handle.

"Hey!" I was interrupted before I could even turn the handle by an angry looking Ene. Takane, dang it!

"What?" I said really wondering what I did that was enough to distract her from Haruka. Everyone was looking over at me too, Momo looked angry as well when she realized what I was doing. Everyone else looked mainly surprised, although Ayano looked shocked and slightly disappointed. What did I do!?

"Where do you think you're going?" Ene asked again. It's Takan-! Oh, whatever.

"Home." That answer only seemed to anger both her and Momo more.

Before Ene even said a thing though she seemed to calm herself before she looked down. She looked sad. What? "How did you get into the Heat Haze Daze?"

"What?"

"You can only go there if you die! So how?" She seemed to growl out the last part. Everyone looked curious at this also, but Momo and Ayano looked the most curious. Don't they know how that works, why are they curious? Its obvious. Well I figured it was at least.

"I killed myself," I said simply still not really understanding what the big deal was.

Ene gasped before glaring back at me. Momo had tears in her eyes for whatever reason, Ayano had tears in her eyes but it seems like she of all people should have already known this.

"What if you were wrong?" Huh? What was Ene saying? "What if you were wrong and died?"

Oh.

"I would be dead." To simply put it, I mean it's true. I don't see the big deal. I guess this is what I get for moving from my spot.

"You were so willing to do that! Why?"

Now I was just getting mad. Why does this matter? "Because I had nothing to live for. Not a single thing." I practically growled out before turning around and heading down the stairs.

That was annoying.

Getting out of that school and walking down the road I realized that I left everyone behind including Ayano. Before I can think of that though I could hear the padding of footsteps. I turn to see Ayano running with a small smile. I was already a block away, why did she chase me this far?

"Shintaro, wait up!" She yelled as she came to a stop in front of me.

"Something wrong?"

"No, I was just wondering if you wanted to walk with me?"

Her smile made it impossible to turn her down and with a small blush, I agreed. "Yeah, sure."

Walking side by side we said nothing for a minute even as we took a shortcut through a park.

"Wouldn't you rather be with your family right now. It's been two years since you've seen them," I said to break the silence.

She just smiled up at me. "It's also been two years since I've seen you."

I just scowled slightly even though a small blush was apparent. "Your family is more important than me."

"Well, I don't think that." She said stubbornly.

"What?"

"I think you're just as important as them." We were now stopped on a hilly road facing each other.

"Yeah well that's not true, I'm not. That's just dumb of you to stay that." I said looking away from her slightly. I can't let her notice my feelings.

The heat from the setting sun was evident and annoying. "Well it is! I care about you just as much as my family." She said stubbornly before shyly saying, "plus I want to help you. Takane told me everything that you've done in the past two years. Did you really blame yourself for my death?" She finally asked with small tears in her eyes.

At that moment all I could feel was anger towards Ene for telling Ayano that and before I could think I was walking ahead saying, "gods you're so annoying. Just leave me alone."

I couldn't even feel the sting of regret from saying that as Ayano grabbed my hand and stubbornly said, "I won't leave you."

Then I realized why I wanted to get out of here. The real reason I wanted too. This all felt so familiar and I only realized I was crying after I saw Ayano's shocked face. This was almost exactly like our last conversation before her…

Death.

Thinking about that, and my previous "lives" made me collapse into her arms. I put my arms around her pulling her close hoping she wouldn't disappear and I could hear barely hear myself mumbling faintly. "Don't leave me again," over and over as sobs racked my body. I couldn't let her go, I wouldn't. Never again.

"I won't leave you, I promise." She said in my ear.

My head was in the crook of her neck and my sobs coursed through my body. In the last minute, I have managed to calm myself down but I could feel Ayano crying as well. So I pull her closer hoping to calm both of us down.

I don't know how long we stayed there but eventually, we found our way to a bench, we were still holding each other for support but the tears were gone.

Ayano interrupted the silence however as she backed up a bit to look at my face, "Were you already thinking about killing yourself before you remembered everything?"

Being truthful was the only choice I had unfortunately. "Yes, in my first "life" I guess you would call it I did kill myself. No matter how many lives I went through I could never get over you and I always became a shut in. I always blamed myself. I could never stand losing you so never do anything like that again please."

She looked up at me her eyes gleaming as the sun was close to setting. "I promise, I won't do anything like that ever again."

And with that said I couldn't stop myself and think before I leaned in and kissed her.

Crap.

Before I could pull back and apologize she kissed me back! My thoughts were a jumble and even as we were both inexperienced this was the best feeling of my life. Best day to, I got Ayano back and now this. I'm actually glad Ene convinced me to go outside. She's still horrible though. I do have to stop acting without thinking though. I guess I'm fine with it this time considering.

I'm not sure how much time passed, all I could focus on was how great kissing her was. Before I knew it though we were both pulling back and I could see her smile that was as wide as usual. Yet somehow she looked happier than I've ever seen her.

"That was," She started but before she finished my mind caught up and I knew for a fact that I had the stupidest smile while I blushed.

I'm pathetic.

Her mind seemed to finally catch up with what happened and her face lit up in a blaze. I could tell from her shy face that she seemed to think something was wrong at the same time.

"Undescribable," I said catching her attention. "That was indescribable but still wonderful." I finished as I looked away shyly scratching my cheek.

That seemed to make her happy as she smiled even wider making even me smile a little.

"I'm glad," she said as she cuddled into my side with the both of us blushing. Still, she was happy, and so was I.

I could actually state truthfully that I'm happy. I was also completely content with both of us to stay right here and watch the stars. As long as she's there I could be completely happy.

Well, maybe not completely...

And that's that, I'll update this once I'm content with another chapter.

(More like have actual solid ideas)

Buuuut! That's not the point. I still have ideas but they just aren't solid yet. I'm almost certain thats better than having nothing.

Leave reviews if you have suggestions or professional criticism. So yeah hope you enjoyed, bye!