Dear Sasuke,
I'm writing you this letter because I know you'll never see it. Once upon a time I would've wanted you to see it. Hoped and prayed that you'd receive and treasure it, like I treasured you. But it's just a meaningless piece of paper, the ink smeared with tears and the paper torn and taped together again. So then, why have I kept it, when I know you"ll never get it? Maybe because I'm holding out hope that one day I will see you again, and I can give it to you then. I just want to make you understand. Maybe I'm just a fool.
I've tried everything to convince myself that you're no longer the same person you once were. I know that's ridiculous to say. No one stays the same. We're constantly growing, becoming new, better versions of ourselves, leaving behind unnecessary parts we've outgrown, like a snake shedding its skin. That's part of life. But... as ridiculous as it may sound, I still love the part of you that I fell for all those years ago. There's a part of me that won't let you go. That can't let you go. I still believe... no, I HAVE to believe, that the good in you is still there. I just can't find you, to prove it.
Do you remember the first time we met? You were holding a bag of groceries for your mom while shopping at the market. I remember thinking that you seemed so sweet, helping out your mom like that. I didn't start falling for you then though. It was when I had my school entrance check-up. I was so scared. The doctor was nice enough, but I was frightened of getting my shot, afraid of that cold, sharp-looking piece of metal. I made such a scene, crying and whimpering and even my mom couldn't quiet me. But then you came up, and held my hand, our tiny fingers fitting together perfectly. You were there getting your check-up too. You said you didn't like needles either, but you were going to be a strong shinobi like your big brother, and shinobi aren't afraid of silly little needles. You asked me how old I was and when I said 5 you smiled and said you were too. Maybe we would be in the same class! You told me I couldn't be scared of something so small if I wanted to keep up with you. You were so charming even then. I didn't even notice when the doctor stuck the needle . I was too busy staring at you, those dark eyes swallowing me up.
You've always had such a complete power over me. Even now, when I think of you I get butterflies. That fluttery feeling makes it so hard for me to be objective. That's why I'm always being saved when you're around. You unfocus me, make my vision blur and my heart thump. I can barely breathe when I see you, how am I supposed to protect myself? The people I love? You're so dangerous, in more ways than one. I that's why I try so hard to hate you. You hurt the people I love. You hurt me. You broke my heart when you left, and didn't even look back. Why? Why can't I see you for who you truly are? The monster who kills and hurts and hates... instead of the little boy holding my hand.
Do I ever stand a chance at saving your soul? And do you even want me to? Maybe one day, you'll read this letter. I hope that day comes soon.
Until then, know that I still love you. I think I always will.
Sakura